CHAPTER 23

Hope Valley, Alberta Canada

Sunday, June 5, 1921

Elizabeth and Rosemary were sitting on Elizabeth's front porch together while Jack and Goldie played together in the grass. "That was an interesting sermon Joseph gave today about asking for forgiveness from those we've wronged." Rosemary said. "Do you suppose he was trying to send a message to some of the congregation?" She asked looking at Elizabeth with curiosity.

"As in you and I specifically?" Elizabeth asked with raised eyebrows.

"Elizabeth, I'm not sure why I need to ask for forgiveness? I wrote those articles because the people needed to know what was going on with Montague and the resort. I'm sorry that Lucas was wounded I truly am. But honestly whether I wrote them or not wouldn't have changed what happened to him." She said in a firm tone. "That Kingston fellow and Jeanette wanted Lucas to pay for past grievances they had with him. It had nothing to do with my articles." Rosemary said with conviction.

Elizabeth stared at Rosemary in complete surprise. "For what it's worth, in my opinion, you were wrong to print the articles without giving Lucas a heads up that you were going to do so. Especially after he asked you not too. Sorry but I agree with Daniel Sterling on this, you are misguided." She told her with the same conviction Rosemary had shown.

Elizabeth looked at Rosemary with deep sadness. "Lucas was in danger because of Hope Valley. It goes without saying that I bear the brunt of the blame for the situation that he finds himself in now. I went to the infirmary to talk to him but he was gone." She said wearily.

"What do you mean gone?" Rosemary said in alarm.

"MaKayla took him to his house to recuperate. The infirmary is really not set up for patients to stay long term." She told her.

"And MaKayla is staying there with him?" Rosemary asked. Elizabeth nodded. "Well, that doesn't seem appropriate now does it?" She said haughtily.

Elizabeth started to laugh, "He's, her patient. Besides, Lucas is in no condition for any inappropriate behavior. Honestly, Rosemary, do you believe that they are carrying on a torrid love affair?" She asked quizzically.

"I don't know what to believe anymore. Are you going to talk to him? And what about Nathan?" Rosemary asked with interest. "I haven't seen the two of you together lately."

"Faith did ask MaKayla if I could visit with Lucas and she said yes. I now know where he lives but I'm afraid I haven't found the courage to visit him yet. As for Nathan, back when I originally took off my rings from Jack because I thought I was ready to move on… with Lucas. I told Nathan that he was not to be my lifetime nor I his. Unfortunately, when my grief over Jack took hold of me once again, I forgot that. I convinced myself with your help that Nathan was indeed my future." She said while giving her a side-eyed glance.

"So, you are no longer trying to win Nathan's heart?" She asked quietly.

Elizabeth looked at her for a long moment, "No, I'm no longer interest in Nathan Grant as a potential suitor. I have truly made a mess of everything and I'm not sure what to do about any of it." She told her with trepidation.

"Do you still love Lucas?" Rosemary asked gently.

"The decision whether Lucas and I can be together again I don't believe is mine to make. I wish that…." She trailed off as Jack came running up to her with tears in his eyes.

"Mama, Goldie broke my boat, the one Buddy gave me." As Jack handed her the boat with a broken sail.

"Don't worry Jack, Mama can fix it for you." She told him gently.

"I want to see Buddy. I miss him. When can I see him, Mama? I know he misses me too. When can he come and live with us and be my Papa, like you promised?" Jack asked her eagerly.

The two women looked at each other, neither knowing what to say to the little boy. "Jack, let's go inside and get washed up for lunch." She told her son as a tear escaped from her eye. Elizabeth was going to have to find a way to explain all that had happened to a young boy that only wanted Lucas to be his Papa.

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It was early evening and MaKayla and Lucas were playing a game of backgammon, when there was knock at the front door.

"Whoever it is, just send them away. I'm finally on the verge of winning a game. I don't want to break my concentration. Unless of course, you're letting me win to bolster my spirits." Lucas eyed her suspiciously.

"I assure you Lucas, I would do no such thing." She laughed and went to see who was at the door.

MaKayla opened the door, "Good evening, MaKayla." Nathan said.

"Nathan, how nice to see you, please come in." She said cordially.

"Thank you. How is Lucas doing?' He asked.

"Better. I assume you are here to see him and not me." She said with a knowing smile. Faith had hinted to MaKayla that Nathan wanted to speak to Lucas about something and might be stopping by at some point.

"Is he up to receiving visitors?" Nathan questioned.

"We were just playing a game of backgammon of which he thinks he is winning, but truthfully, I'm letting him." She winked at him. "But please don't give me away. Let me just tell him you are here." MaKayla walked back to Lucas's bedroom.

"Who was at the door?" He asked.

"Nathan. He would like to speak with you." She told him. Lucas laid his head back on the pillows wondering what Nathan wanted to speak to him about. He wasn't really sure he was up to listening to whatever it was he had to say.

MaKayla sat on the bed and moved the backgammon board out of the way. "Lucas, I know that you and Nathan have a complicated history. But I also remember what you told me back in the hospital in Capital City. You said that you liked Nathan and had started to think of him as a friend. I know, of course, that was before Elizabeth broke off your engagement. I just think that whatever has brought him here tonight you should listen to. You owe it to yourself to hear him out. But as always, the choice is yours. Do I send him away or show him to your room?" She looked at him searchingly.

Lucas sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "Send him in." MaKayla gave him a radiant smile followed by gentle kiss on the cheek and left to go get Nathan.

MaKayla returned to the front room. "Down the hall, first door on your right." She told him.

Nathan headed down the hall. Lucas's door was open so he walked in. Lucas was sitting up in bed, but it was obvious he was still not well. He was quite pale, and had the look of someone who was in physical pain.

"Nathan, take a seat." Lucas said in a friendly tone. "I want to thank you for everything you did to help me the night Jeanette and company came to town."

Nathan smiled at him. "You're welcome. I just wish I could have prevented Kingston from getting that shot off." Nathan told him.

"To be honest, so do I." He laughed softly as he gently touched his incision. "But that is not why you're here. Why don't you just tell me." Lucas stared at him intently.

Nathan nodded; he could feel himself starting to sweat. "Lucas, I know we've had our issues in the past, mostly about Elizabeth. And I don't want to revisit old hurts. But I do need to tell you that the day before you and Elizabeth were to leave for Capital City, I went to visit her at the school house. I told her she shouldn't go with you to Capital City. That being governor was your dream not hers. That she was needed in Hope Valley. That I needed her. At the time… it seemed like the right thing to do for her and for myself. I would have done almost anything to keep her from going away with you. I was in love with her and had been for the better part of six years. But you knew that and still had wanted to be my friend."

He lowered his gaze from Lucas's for just a moment, ashamed at hearing his confession out loud. He had betrayed a friend, that was not befitting of a Mountie or a man who claimed to have integrity. He then stood up and started to pace around the room. Lucas said nothing as he stared at him.

Nathan turned again to faced Lucas. He put his hands on the back of the chair. "After you left without Elizabeth, I was elated. When I visited you in the hospital in Capital City you told me you wouldn't try to win her back. My path was finally clear and Elizabeth was sending me signals, just as you said that day in the saloon, that she wanted to be with me. But the more she showed an interest in me, the more I pulled away. And I found myself gravitating toward Faith. This really baffled me." He gave a quiet laugh and shook his head. Although Lucas said nothing, he too was baffled by Nathan's sudden interest in Faith.

"After you were shot again, Elizabeth and I were sitting outside the infirmary waiting to hear about your condition. We talked a little about her and I. I told her I was going to tell you what I had done. Once I had made that decision, for me everything seemed to fall into place. I want to own my part in coming between the two of you. I was out of line and I deeply regret it. I've come to realize that although I do love Elizabeth, we aren't meant to be. I played a role in Jack's death and that would always stand between us despite what she may think. Besides, I don't want to be a substitute for Jack Thornton. In Elizabeth's eyes and a lot of other peoples I could never measure up to the great man himself." Nathan stared at Lucas a moment before continuing. Lucas had his poker face on and Nathan could tell nothing of what he was thinking.

"I'm sorry Lucas. Elizabeth was your fiancée and I should not have interfered. The matter was between the two of you. I do believe she was and possibly still is in love with you. I don't really know if anything I said that day in the school house changed her mind but regardless, it should never have happened. I'm sorry for my duplicity regarding your relationship with Elizabeth.

"Nathan why are you telling me this now?" Lucas asked expressionless.

"Because I want a clean slate. At one time we were on the road to becoming friends and I would welcome that again. Maybe you can never forgive me for my actions but at the very least I wanted to be honest with you. He told him with sincerity.

"So, you and Elizabeth are not pursuing a relationship?" He asked questioningly. "You're now telling me that the path is clear if I want to try again with Elizabeth?" Lucas shrugged his shoulders at the irony of this conversation.

"Truthfully Lucas, I'm not telling you anything but that I regret my part in your broken engagement. I've made peace with what my relationship is with Elizabeth. We are friends and that is all we will ever be. Like you, I just want her to be happy." He said while looking off into the distance.

Lucas swallowed hard, "I'm extremely disappointed to learn what was going on behind my back. I didn't expect that from either you or Elizabeth. I suspected it but truthfully, I thought it was my insecurities getting the best of me. But to hear you admit it, is just one more gut punch." He said as he put his head back on the pillow again and closed his eyes.

Nathan stared at him, not sure what to do. Finally, Lucas lifted his head, "Holding a grudge gets neither one of us anywhere. I can't say that I forgive you just yet, that will take some time. But I do appreciate that you came to tell me yourself. Although it is, too little, too late, to matter where Elizabeth and I are concerned. I hope with time we can get back on that road to friendship but we are not there yet. Lucas extended his hand to Nathan. The men shook hands, it was the best that both men could hope for right now.

"Oh, I almost forget. Jeanette gave a complete confession for all her crimes. There will be no trial. Her sentencing will be next month. Lastly, before she was sent to Union City, she asked me to tell you that she doesn't blame you for her husband's death. She said he was doing exactly what he wanted to. She also said she was sorry things got so out of hand and hurting you was never part of her plan." He told him.

"I made Matthew a promise that I would always look out for Jeanette. I tried; I really did, but in the end, it wasn't good enough. I failed Matthew a second time and now I failed Jeanette as well. It will always haunt me what happened to him, but I think I'm learning that somethings are just meant to be. Thank you for letting me know, Nathan." He said with quiet reserve.

Nathan thought of all that Lucas had lost over the years. It was his sincere wish that the future would hold good things for him. "I hope you will be up and around soon Lucas. I appreciate you listening." Nathan turned and went back out to the front room.

"How did your talk go with Lucas?" MaKayla asked from the kitchen where she was making soup for Lucas.

"He didn't throw anything at me or start yelling asking me to leave, so I will say it went as well as it could have." Nathan smiled at her. "Although I do have to ask, is he going to be, OK? He looks like hell." He told her honestly.

MaKayla looked at him solemnly. "I'm hopeful he will make a full recovery. But Nathan, I have to tell you, it was a really close call. I'm just glad I was here; he wouldn't have made it otherwise." She told him somberly. Nathan took in her words and the gravity of the situation that Lucas had faced.

Nathan then smiled at her, "I'm glad you were here for him. Lucas is a good man who didn't deserve the hell he has been through the past nine months. Thank you MaKayla, I hope to see you at the infirmary again soon." Nathan turned to leave the house.

"Nathan, one thing before you go. I know this isn't my place but I feel the need to say this. Please be careful with Faith's heart. She cares for you a great deal and if you don't return her feelings…please don't led her on. I have to say, this town does have an awful lot of drama for a small town." She shrugged her shoulders and mouthed sorry.

"No offense taken. I agree with you." He said with a soft chuckle. Thank you MaKayla." He told her as he left Lucas's house. He was glad that he had come. Grateful that Lucas was willing to listen. He had hope that one day they could try to be friends.

MaKayla brought a tray of soup into Lucas's room, he was resting against the pillows with his eyes closed. "Lucas are you awake?" She asked quietly.

He opened his eyes and turned to look at her. "Are you OK? Did your visit with Nathan upset you?" She asked gently.

"It was surprising. I learned some things I wasn't aware of." He told her with sadness in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Lucas. Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

"No, none of it really matters now. Everything has turned out as it should." He told her.

"Ok," she said not wanting to push. "Let's eat our soup and then if you're up to it, we can finish our backgammon game." She smiled brightly at him.

"Sounds good to me Doc." He told her with a hint of melancholy. "Be prepared to lose." He said with a cocky grin.

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Hope Valley, Alberta Canada

Friday, June 10, 1921

MaKayla sat out on Lucas's front porch soaking in the afternoon sunshine. As she looked out, she saw Elizabeth walking up to the house. She smiled to herself; Faith had asked last week if she could tell Elizabeth where Lucas lived. She had wondered when she would come.

"Hello Elizabeth" MaKayla said with a friendly smile. "Come join me on the porch for a bit, Lucas is sleeping right now." She told her.

Elizabeth walked onto the porch and sat down in the other rocking chair. "It is beautiful here." She told her. "I had no idea how beautiful the views could be right outside of town." She said as she took in her surroundings.

"You should see the land that Lucas bought where he wanted to build a house for you. The scenery there is absolutely breathtaking. Much more scenic than here." She told her honestly.

"I'm sorry I never saw it." She hung her head. Just another in a long list of mistakes she has made, she thought sadly. "How is Lucas doing?" She asked.

"Fortunately, there have been no complications. He is still very weak and in quite a bit of pain but hopefully that will lessen soon. How is Jack doing? Have you decided about removing his tonsils"?" She asked.

Elizabeth smiled. "He's doing well. No, I haven't, not yet." She told her.

"Lucas won't be able to travel for at least several more weeks so I'm available to do the operation if you decide you want to have it done." She told her. Elizabeth nodded her head.

"MaKayla, I'm curious about something. Did you know any of the information that Daniel Sterling shared with us about Lucas's past?" Elizabeth asked.

"I knew Matthew Aucoin, he was a friend of my brothers'. Matthew, Lucas and my brother Andrew all went to Cambridge at the same time. I liked Matthew and was very sad to hear of his passing. But no Lucas never shared how Matthew died, but when his name came up in conversation, I noticed how his eyes always clouded over with despair." She told her honestly.

"The part about him being an agent, I was unaware but certainly didn't surprise me. It seemed like something a young Lucas would be involved in." MaKayla said with a soft chuckle.

Did you know Lucas when he was at Cambridge with your brother?" She asked

"No, Andrew and Lucas were just acquaintances. Andrew was good friends with Matthew which is how Andrew and Lucas met. I was just Andrew's pesky younger sister to his friends. Matthew was really the only friend that Andrew ever brought home with him when he visited." She told her.

"I see," she said. "I was rather surprised to hear about all of it. There was this whole other side of Lucas that I was never knew existed. He is more like my husband Jack than I ever imagined." She said wistfully.

"MaKayla, can I ask you a personal question?" Elizabeth asked. MaKayla nodded her consent. "Have you ever been in love? I mean before Lucas." MaKayla thought it was interesting that she assumed that she was in love with Lucas. Perhaps she had heard her tell Lucas the night of the shooting at the saloon that she loved him.

"I have. My fiancée's name was Trevor. He was a pilot for the RAF during the war. His plane was shot down three weeks before the armistice." She told her frankly.

"Oh MaKayla, I'm sorry. That must have been awful for you." Elizabeth said with genuine sadness.

"Yes, it was. Trevor was a wonderful man. But much like you, I knew the dangers of his chosen profession. Because we love these men, we accept the danger they put themselves in. Although it doesn't change the heartache at their passing. Trevor and I discussed it and I knew he didn't want me to wallow in sadness should anything happen to him. He wanted me to live a rich full life and find love again. I have tried to do that. Sorrow does sometimes find me where Trevor is concerned but I don't run from it, I embrace it when it happens and then come back to myself." She said while looking directly at Elizabeth.

"You must think me a weak woman, that I didn't have the courage to leave Hope Valley with Lucas." Elizabeth told her.

"Elizabeth, I don't know you well enough to judge. As I watched Lucas suffer these past months, I have wondered how you could have done what you did. I have sometimes not thought of you kindly. But I do know if Lucas loved you, you have to be a good person. I do admit that your treatment of him after you ended your engagement baffles me. He has only been kind and understanding toward you. He has done nothing to stand in the way of your pursuit of Nathan despite the pain that it has inflicted on him." She stared at her. "So why have you been so cruel to him?"

Elizabeth hung her head as she struggled to find the courage to be honest. "I have made so many mistakes where he is concerned. I'm not proud of my behavior. I hate the way I treated him and I will always regret that. Jack never wanted me to wallow in his loss either. But for some reason, I just held on tighter to the things that held Jack's memory as our wedding drew closer." She said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I'd like to have the conversation with Lucas that I should have had a long time ago. Do you think that he will see me?" She asked hesitantly.

"Let me check if he is awake and is willing to talk with you." She told her sincerely.

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MaKayla walked into Lucas's house and went to his bedroom. She took a deep breath before she opened the door. As she peeked in, he looked to still be sleeping. She walked quietly towards the bed. His eyes were closed, she turned and started to walk out when she heard him. "Don't go." He said quietly.

She turned around with a smile, "Hello handsome" she said as she walked back towards the bed and sat down on the bed beside to him. "How's the pain?" She asked as she moved some stray hair off his forehead.

"Bearable. Better with you here." He said as he squeezed her hand with a soft smile.

"You have a visitor, waiting on the porch." She told him

Lucas gave her a surprised look, "Who?" He asked with trepidation.

"Elizabeth." She said succinctly

"Elizabeth is here? What does she want?" Lucas shook his head wearily. "I don't feel up to a lecture of how I put her and Jack in danger right now. That was never my intention." He said morosely.

"I don't think she is here to lecture you. We had a nice conversation just now while you were sleeping. I think you should talk to her." She said honestly. "But I admit, I'm being selfish. I love you Lucas, you are the sole owner of my heart. I want more than anything for you to be able to love me the same in return with no unanswered questions, no regrets." She said as she gazed into his pain filled eyes.

Lucas stared at the beautiful woman in front of him. The woman who for the past nine months has been his champion, his support, and now his love. His gaze held hers, "of course, I'll talk to her. Perhaps it's time she and I are truly honest with each other." He told her with a weak smile.

"Thank you." She leaned down, as she put her palms on his cheeks. His lips were warm and soft as she touched his lips with her own. She felt his love in their kiss. She broke away and left to get Elizabeth.