7/6/23 AN: Okay, look, here are a few things.

First- this story is courtesy of satoshy12, who gave me the idea for a poisonous baby Danny who bites the Joker.

Second- I meant to have this out at the end of May, and you can see how well that worked. This isn't done, but since none of the stories in this series have been a one shot I decided it doesn't matter, so I'll post part one, and there is at least one more chapter. Hopefully that will be out by the end of August, but who know.

Third- I work with two years olds. Mostly they're extremely nonverbal with people they don't know. When we're comfortable they can be chatter boxes, but mostly they're shy. Also, like, so, so tiny. I'm a 5'8" female, and most toddlers come up to my mid-thigh. My head cannon is that Jason is 6'3", and Danny is pretty small, so Baby!Danny comes up to Jason's knee.

Disclaimer: I don't own Batman or Danny Phantom

. . .

Red Hood was in the middle of comparing explosive devises and which ones made the pretty fires with Red Robin when he felt a tug. He had no other way to describe it. Something out there was pulling at him and he needed to find it now. He stopped mid-sentence and jumped off the building. He didn't even register Red Robin yelling "Rude!" after him. He binding rushed through Gotham, only coming back to awareness when the tugging eased. He realized he was at the entrance of an ally on the outskirts of Old Gotham.

There was a toddler in the ally. Jason was a little horrified. Gotham was bad, but this was really bad. Babies didn't normally wander the streets in the daytime, let alone at night. The little guy had black hair and blue eyes, which brought up uncomfortable memories that Jason didn't want to think about, so he shoved them down. He called upon his long ago learned Robin training. It came as readily as it always did, but even then he'd rarely encountered a child so young. He knelt on the ground, uncaring of the filth in the ally, arms loose at his sides. He hunched down, trying to make himself smaller. The little boy was so tiny.

"Hey, buddy, how're you?"

The little boy stared at him, solemn and still. It broke Jason's heart. Kids shouldn't be so still. Even if they weren't talking, kids should be full of noise and movement- full of life. He didn't want to scare the kid, but they were in a bad spot, they needed to move.

"I'm Jason. Can you please tell me your name?"

More staring before Jason got a slight smile. "Danny."

"Hi, Danny, its nice to meet you. Are you cold? I'm a little cold. If you're cold, I can give you a hug to warm you up."

It took some coaxing, but Danny let Jason pick him up.

It was a bit irrational, but Jason honestly worried he might accidentally crush the kid. His bones felt like little bird bones. There was no way he was going to grapple, what if he dropped the kid? What if he held on too tight and crushed him? No, Jason had to sneak around like he hadn't done in years. It wasn't too bad, the streets were quiet, and the weather was surprisingly nice. The kid had snuggled up to him and listened contentedly while Jason told Winnie the Pooh stories.

So of course everything would go wrong.

A horrible laugh froze Jason in place. This couldn't be happening.

"What do we have here? The little birdy who's wings I already clipped? What about a repeat performance?" Another horrible laugh. "Ooooh! Do you have another little birdy? Why don't you give him over for a playdate?"

Jason didn't dare turn around. He tried to fight past the horror and terror in him. He had to protect the baby. He couldn't let that monster hurt this little innocent soul. He curled himself down, and moved his arms to cover Danny as much as possible to protect him from blows that weren't coming yet. Jason flinched at each step coming closer to them. He started to stagger away, desperate to get the little boy out of danger.

Instead of watching where he was going Jason was looking down at his precious cargo. His eyes widened when Danny's hair turned white and his eyes turned green. He went right through Jason's chest. He whirled around in time to see the kid grab onto Joker's face and bite down with tiny baby fangs. The clown yelled and flailed but Danny hung on. The swearing turned into screaming. Danny let go and flew back to Jason's arms. He happily returned to his impression of a koala, hair and eyes turning back to their original color. Jason held onto him, tight and protective.

Most of Jason's attention was on his killer. The skin around the bite mark started to melt, like acid from a Xenomorph had been dripped on him. The rogue screamed and thrashed as his whole body started to melt like the Wicked Witch of the West. Soon he was just a pile of goo and clothing.

Jason's mind was fuzzed out for a few moments. Not the smartest thing to do, but he was sort of having a crisis. Relief, disbelief and adrenaline crashed into him making him dizzy like a cliché damsel in distress. Irrationally, his first coherent thought was 'I'm too young to be a dad'. Panicking in the safety of his own place seemed like the best option. He pulled out his grapple and swung away. The kid giggled as they swung through the air. Jason was a tough vigilante crime lord. He did not coo at the adorableness. Not one bit. Okay, maybe a little. Actually, it was a lot, but no one could prove it, not even Oracle.

Once he was back at his safe house Jason was at a loss of what to do. He decided to channel his inner Alfred and make food. What did toddlers like? Pancakes? Special pancakes with chocolate chips and his special maple syrup. Yeah, he could do that. Danny didn't seem traumatized, but who knew what the kid was really thinking. Comfort food would help, and at the very least the poor kid was probably starving.

. . .

Jason may have made a mistake.

He'd made the best damn pancakes of his life- light and fluffy, with chocolate chips from Belgium, whip topping he made from scratch, and fancy organic rainbow sprinkles. They were beautiful. Jason was justifiably proud and took a picture. Danny loved them too. He ate four. Jason was in the middle of trying to wipe the sticky off when Danny seemed to lose his mind. He started shirking, running and flying around and phasing through furniture. He was like a weird child strobe light as his hair and eye color kept changing.

It took all Jason's training to keep Danny from braining himself and keep his own panic at bay. Finally, after seven years (or forty-five minutes, which was basically the same thing) Danny started to snore mid flight. His hair, and presumably eyes, changed back to normal and he dropped like a stone, fast asleep. Jason dove across the room to catch the toddle, most likely looking like a demented cartoon character. He caught him, rolling to take the impact on his back and protecting Danny. He was tired, dazed, and out of breath. He stared at the ceiling, wondering how he was going to find the energy to continue to deal with a hyperactive child.

-Elsewhere Bruce got the immensely satisfying feeling that someone out there understood on a personal level what it was like to deal with a young Dick Grayson-

Jason decided that would be a problem for Future Jason. Now he had to decide if it was worth it to get up and go to bed. He glanced down at Danny, who looked down right angelic now that he wasn't moving. There was the expression 'let sleeping dogs lie' and Selena made sure he knew that he wasn't supposed to move if a cat was sleeping on him. Did that apply to kids too? Screw it. The floor was plenty comfortable.

Jason went to sleep.