4th of Midyear

Damn and blast. Courier showed up today. It's a letter today from Auntie Kelda. She and Ma are both ill, probably dying. They want me to come home because my idiot brother has run off or is already dead. It must be bad since Auntie Kelda says to hurry and she never says that. Apparently, the whole sodding village has been hit with some plague. Like I can do anything about that, especially from Helstrom. If a potion won't fix it and the priests can't cure it, I don't know what Auntie thinks I'm going to do for them, aside from dig them some graves when I finally get there.

Auntie is afraid if I don't come home, no one will bury them. Most of the village is already dead. They're threatening to haunt me if I don't get them interred properly. I'll have to resign my officer's post in the Jomsbrodirs or be haunted for the rest of my days by two broody, old, unburied hens. We're about to pack up and head Valenwood to do what we do best – prop up some milk drinker and ensure that his flabby ass stays seated on whatever precious chair he fancies as long as he keeps the gold coming. As an officer, I get a share of that gold and this next job was going to be nearly double the normal because we're getting paid to end our contact here. Double damn.

I guess I'll see if I can get a guide that can get me to a port. Hopefully, I can find a ship going somewhere in that direction even though it's the wrong time of year for it. I can probably hire one of these lizards that hangs around the camp as a guide. It is going to be a long, horrible slog through the marshes. I'd almost trade the bugs here for the snow in Skyrim. If I sell my shield I can raise the money for passage.

6th of Midyear

Resigning, temporarily at least, went better than I had thought it might. I can always buy another sword and I've promised to join up with them again once this business at home is settled. I still have my Ibarsi knives and my daggers. I'm off to find a guide and get to the coast. Gods help us all... Astri Thorsdottir is going home. The one place I said I'd never go back to. I even shook the dust off my feet the day I left. I still send Ma money but to go myself... A week ago, I'd have laughed you out of the tavern if you'd told me I'd be doing this. I've not lost anything there that I need to go looking for.

7th of Midyear

I've hired one of the local lizards named Teeba who says she can get me to the port at Thorn. That's at least going in the right direction. She's got some guar so we'll make good time. Judging by the sun and moons, we'll be in Thorn soon. It's been a miserable trek so far. So many sodding bugs. I don't trust Teeba as far as I can throw her. I've caught her looking at me when she thinks I'm not paying attention. I know hate when I see it. She's nice as pie to my face and spits when she thinks I don't notice. That makes me trust her even less that if she spat in my face. It's pretty clear that she'd like to skin all of us and me in particular in one of those Daedra be damned rituals that we put a stop to in Helstrom. I'll be sleeping with my back up against something and weapons handy.

12th of Midyear

Well, I'm in Thorn and Teeba didn't manage to cut my throat at night. Maybe I misjudged her, but I don't think so. I think it has more to do with me being a light sleeper and well-armed. Now to see if I can find a ship with passage or see if I have to work on the crew. I don't mind crewing it and I'd get to keep my shield. I haven't worked like that since Da and Uncle Viggo but I still know how to haul a line and trim a sail. Blast them both for getting themselves killed. That's a big part of why I left. Ma wasn't the same after and Balder went from bad to worthless. I think that Ma finally realized what a lout he'd become when he tried to marry that Forsworn girl. Who lives like that? With all the bloody goat heads for decoration?

14th of Midyear

I have passage on the Northern Hound leaving… well, now. It was a either ship to Blacklight or Wayrest. Not much else but local shore traders for some time. Either way, it's going to be another long hike to get from there back home. Blacklight is probably closer. The captain of the Hound won't go to Skyrim at all. It seems that there's a civil war going on and he wants no part of it. I tried to persuade to him to go on to Windhelm, but he's refused. While I've been gone, it seems that Jarl Hoag died. His son, Ulfric is the Jarl in Windhelm now and is leading the uprising. I don't care Ulfric tap dances naked on the roof of the Kings Palace and shakes his dangly bits at the sky. I just want to get to somewhere with a stable, so I can get a horse.

6th of Sun's Height

We've been attacked by pirates. May Peyrite bugger all of them give them roaring infections in the bargin. They've stolen my gear – sold most of it and spent the gold on cheap dockside doxies so maybe they will get the roaring infections. Not much of a consolation but one takes what one can . They're keeping us as galley slaves. They've got me cooking. I suppose that's because I'm the only female on board. Which brings me to another problem of being the only female on board. That mouth-breather Rico tried to put his hands on me. I might only have kitchen utensils now but they're still finding bits of him. They think he was drunk and fell overboard. Wait until they realize what that stew was. I butchered that hog they gave me, but that pig went to the crews mess. There wasn't so much as a sliver of pork in that stew our lords and masters have been slurping up unless you count long pig as pork Still, I have a plan to get us all free of these knuckle-draggers. I picked up some herb lore from one of the lizards back in Helstrom and I am going to enjoy tossing this bunch of pathetic losers over the side. I've told them I can help them if they get some medical supplies. They're putting in a fishing village to take on more fresh water and food. Finally, the gods have shown me a another sliver of favor. They're taking on medical supplies and its hard not to smile when I see what's in the box.

18th of Sun's Height

It's been a bit since we loaded up those barrels of salted fish and medical supplies. They're all retching and puking and blaming bad food. They think it was the barrels of fish that they bought at the last village. I heard them talking and these entitled asshats mean to go back and burn it down. Time to dose them again. I won't see those people come to harm over this foolishness. The good news is that they think the water might be tainted so they're sticking to the booze, which they don't share with us lowly types.

23rd of Sun's Height

Well, that's the last of that lot over the side. It's taken a few days for them to die and the end of it was unpleasant. I hate using poison but other than some really awful kitchen knives, not much else in the way of weapons. The screaming, there at the end, was pretty terrible, but Captain Torsten is back in charge of the Northern Hound again. We're headed to Blacklight, much good may it do me now. I have nothing. Those pirates took everything of value from us. Sheogorath take them. They've even stolen my boots. At least its summer and I can wrap my feet to get over the mountains. Maybe I won't lose too many toes.

25th of Sun's Height

I'm off the ship. Turns out that they don't want someone who knows how to poison people on the ship. No good deed goes unpunished. I killed those sodding pirates before they got the bright idea to sell us to slavers or just stop feeding us and this is the thanks I get. Dumped off at the first port without so much as thank you or a single septim. Still, it's not all bad news. I've run into a Dunmer with a caravan going south. He's looking to someone to tend the animals and in return, I get a place to sleep, food and maybe I can make it to Riften in one piece.

28th of Sun's Height

This whole journey seems to be cursed. We're running from bandits. I'm about to abandon these Dunmer to the tender mercies of the bandits. There's a whole group of them that have been hard on our tail for days now. Every time I try to get these pampered Hlaalu retainers moving, they want a rest break or to stop and admire the scenery. I think I'll have better luck on my own. The bandits are after whatever this Hlaalu dolt persists in dragging along. I told him to leave it behind and let them have it. Leave some booze with it and they'll be too busy getting drunk to chase us. Even at their pace, we might be able to make it to the next town. You'd have thought I told him to leave his first-born son. I don't intend to wait to be slaughtered and they won't give me any weapons. I'm taking some food, whatever else I can, and making a run for it. I recognize some of the country around here but I'm still on the wrong side of the border. The food and whatever I can scrounge without getting caught will do in lieu of pay.

3rd of Last Seed

At least I think it's the third of Last Seed. Hard to tell, out here in the wilderness. Might be off a day. Still on the wrong side of the border. Ran into a hunter who helped me kill and skin a deer so I can wrap my feet for the crossing. He gave me a rusty old knife and wished me luck. The pass is up ahead. I hope I make it. I'm coming, Auntie Kelda.

4th of Last Seed

I've found the pass. His directions were good and his warnings about it were too. It's a steep climb. I've managed to trap and skin a couple of rabbits with the rusty old knife the hunter gave me. My hands are wrapped now too but it's colder than a snowbear's arse.

5th of Last Seed

Apparently at least one of the gods loves me a tiny bit. I found dead guy with some decent boots and an axe. Not my favorite weapon, but one I can at least use. The rest of his gear was shredded by an animal. Bear, probably so maybe not so much loves me but is toying with me.

I keep thinking I should have told Auntie Kelda to sod off and stayed with the Jomsbrodirs. I'd be half-way to Vardenfell by now. I admit to a new appreciation of our Quartermasters since they always arranged our travel.

6th of Last Seed

I hope I'm still on the right trail. It's awfully high up here. The air is thin and I'm having a hard time moving as fast as I'd like. I had hoped to be over the pass and nearing the border into Skyrim by now. Instead, I'm still climbing. Going is slow. The caves are full of creatures and aren't safe to shelter in so I've had to take whatever rock ledge or tree I can find. Gathering up firewood to get through the night has been another slowdown. I have to stop early and hunt for things to burn to keep warm. At this rate, my journal might end up in the fire so I don't freeze.

10th of Last Seed

Finally. I've reached the top and can start on the descent. At this rate, I'm a week away from crossing the border but at least the worst of the mountains are behind me. I hope that Hlaalu idiot makes to where he's going but he'll probably be admiring some flower when the bandits catch up and slit his throat.

12th of Last Seed

I ran across a small farm today. The woman there let me work clearing up their barn and garden for the next planting in exchange for food and news. I'm sleeping in the barn tonight and moving on early. Something about how her husband looks at me is… creepy.

14th of Last Seed

I was right about her husband. He had some other ideas about how I was to pay for my dinner. I put him off telling him that it would be easier if his wife was out planting. It was good that I was up and gone before he came snooping around. I'm closer to the border than I thought I was. Three maybe four days away on foot.

15th of Last Seed

I hitched a ride with an old Dunmer who offered to tell the border guards that I was his farm hand. We're both in such a state that it looks believable. His horse is so old and spavined, I'm surprised it can pull the cart. I think it might have in its prime when Talos was still on the throne. The farmer himself isn't much better. As for me, I look like a wild thing after crossing the mountains on foot with some raw skins to the only thing to keep me from getting frostbite. The old farmer pulled out a comb and tried to set my hair to some semblance of order, but its so snarled that it might look worse now. We got to the crossing but guards wouldn't let me cross. The damn Imperials aren't letting anyone who even remotely looks like a Nord in. Everyone else, including those thrice-damned Thalmor are allowed in but I can't get into my own homeland. I've had enough. I know the some of the old game trails. This isn't the only place to cross over. Once I'm in, I can hitch rides with the farmers to get where I'm going and walk the rest of the way.