Kingdom Hearts

We Look to You Still

By Lucky_Ladybug

Notes: The characters aren't mine and the story is! Years ago in my original KH timeline, I wrote a fic called God Help the Outcasts, heavily inspired by Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I really wanted to have another version of that story for the new, current timeline I'm tinkering with. That requires a lot of thought for how to work it, especially as this version will be happening far earlier in the timeline and a lot of key elements from the original will not be returning for this one. But I'm really excited to rework the story for this timeline and I hope it will be enjoyed too. I was originally going to call it God Help the Outcasts Mark II, but I've decided instead on this other title, another line from the same song, to show there's a connection but better establish it as its own thing. Those familiar with the old stories may recognize elements from several different ones thrown into this new first chapter. That is done both in tribute to the old stories and to see what happens if I weave them together in a new way. The building block of both timelines is that Sephiroth is a good person and when he's messing with Cloud, he's actually using reverse psychology on him to try to push him to reject the darkness instead of to give in to it.

Chapter One

Normally Sephiroth didn't have problems when he was out late at night. Most were either pleasant enough to him or ignored him. Any that were foolish enough to try mugging him quickly regretted that. When several unfamiliar shapes emerged from the shadows of a Hollow Bastion street that night, he was scarcely expecting what would come of it.

"Well, well, if it isn't the mighty Sephiroth," one mocked. "Or should I say, formerly mighty. You're not our honored hero anymore."

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed. "Do you have a point or do you just like wasting people's time?"

"Are you a person?" a second jeered. "Or is Cloud right about you, that you're just part of his heart?"

"Cloud's crazy," said a third. "And he's not any better than this other winged freak. Maybe he's worse. At least these wings are actually pretty." Without warning the thug grabbed for one of the two lower wings and pulled on it. "I wouldn't mind having them mounted on my wall."

Immediately Sephiroth smacked the assailant away with said wing. "If any of you try that, you're going to find out why sensible people fear me." He started forming a fireball in his hands.

Not deterred at all, the strangers all leaped at him with one accord, from every side. Sephiroth turned his fireballs into flaming pillars surrounding him.

The brutes yelped as they fell back, some scorched and all of them angry. "You won't be doing that again," one of them threatened. "We don't want you in our town any more!"

"Too bad, because I'm not leaving," Sephiroth retorted. "Give In To the Dark." At his command and a sweep of his hand, orbs of mixed light and darkness formed and launched themselves at his attackers.

The thugs leaped out of the way, scattering in all directions. But they were swiftly up again, with the one in the lead suddenly letting loose with a blast of ice at Sephiroth's chest.

He fell back, skidding several inches before spreading his wings and planting his feet to stop his tumble. Ice magic wasn't what he had expected. His Fire attacks would be useless against that. He sent out more orbs and lunged with the Masamune, slicing through the next ice assault as it came.

For the next several minutes the fight wore on, with the strange men sending out a barrage of ice and Sephiroth leaping and twisting and turning to avoid it and slice through it from every direction. Although he remained outwardly calm, as always, bewildered anger was flashing through his eyes. Who were these people? Why were they after him all of a sudden? It didn't make sense.

At least they were finally starting to wear down. Sephiroth still had plenty of energy, but most couldn't keep up with him. Another round of orbs and some were injured and all were ducking for cover.

It was while he was distracted that one more person joined the fray. Suddenly something sharp and cold was plunging into his back. He froze, grunting in pain. When he looked over his shoulder, a knife was buried in his back nearly up to the handle. The person who had just stabbed him was no longer there.

With him distracted by this wound, the other thugs leaped up and grabbed him from every side, dragging him to the ground as they pounded and beat on him and struck him hard with several numbing ice attacks. Not even Sephiroth could easily fight off so many people attacking him all at once. But he gave it everything he had, using the last of his strength to send out his most powerful attack to blast them back. "Descend Heartless Angel!" Then, before they could use their ice again, he teleported out.

He stumbled with a pained hiss as he reappeared in front of Merlin's house. This was not where he had meant to go. But it was surely better than his actual plan. As if Cloud would ever do anything to help him.

He fell forward, knocking on the door in desperation as his vision swam out of focus. Why . . . what was happening to him? Was the knife poisoned? He should still be relatively alright, even after such a brutal assault. He could take it. He was supposed to be able to take it. But then why . . .

Footsteps were coming now. The door opened and Yuffie Kisaragi shrieked in shock as Sephiroth fell in on the living room carpet.

He didn't even have the strength to push himself up. "Help," was all he could choke out before consciousness was lost.

Leon soon appeared on the scene as well, frowning deeply to see the powerful swordsman so lifeless. He knelt down, taking hold of the knife to see how hard it would be to remove it. "Go get Cloud," he told Yuffie.

She was just as happy to flee the scene, and she leaped over Sephiroth's lower wings to get outside. "Do you really think he'll come?" she said doubtfully.

"He'll come," Leon insisted. "Get him and I'll try to find Merlin."

Yuffie took off running and soon arrived at Cloud's run-down house. Tifa and Aerith were often visiting, but this night Cloud was alone and laying asleep on a rickety porch swing. His lone bat wing hung off the edge of the swing and down to the porch, where it brushed against the buster sword. The hilt was held in Cloud's hand, but it looked like he might drop it any minute.

Yuffie made sure to stay clear of it as she stood by one side of the swing and called out, "Cloud! Wake up! You've gotta come!"

Cloud nearly jumped a mile and almost pitched off the swing to the porch. "What the . . . what are you trying to do?!" he snapped at Yuffie.

"Ohhh, don't be all huffy with me!" Yuffie snapped back. "Leon said to get you! Sephiroth just suddenly poofed in and collapsed on the floor! He's been beat up and stabbed!"

Cloud bolted upright. Had he possibly heard right? Sephiroth couldn't be beat up and stabbed. He was too invincible, too crafty, too . . . all over the place. Their fights were always exhausting because of that.

"I can't even land a blow on him!" Cloud pointed out. "How did someone do that?!"

"I don't know, but come on!" Yuffie grabbed his free hand and desperately pulled.

Cloud stumbled to his feet. "I'm not his keeper," he grumbled. "What does Leon think I can do?!"

"I don't know that either! He just acted like you should know!" Yuffie said.

Cloud snorted at that. "It doesn't mean anything to me what happens to him."

But did he really mean that? He had been shaken ever since the night when, according to Sephiroth, Cloud had subconsciously cast an illusion to see how he would handle it if he killed his enemy. Cloud still didn't know he believed that he had made the illusion himself, but the very thought was troubling. Still, even if Cloud realized he didn't want to land the killing blow himself, he had a hard time believing it would matter that much if someone else did.

. . . He had felt so empty that night, though. And until he had got mad at Sephiroth all over again, he had started to think it was because he really didn't want Sephiroth dead.

Why would he care? He hated Sephiroth, hated the shadowing and the taunts, the weird tests, that knowing smirk. And that was all superficial anyway. The real reason he hated Sephiroth went far deeper. He would never forgive what had happened to Zack. Maybe Sephiroth hadn't deliberately thrown him off that cliff, but he had refused to listen when Zack had kept protesting the quest for that dark magic that would enable the eradication of the Heartless. And Sephiroth's refusal to listen had resulted in the dark magic taking him over and Zack struggling to stop him from lashing out at everything in blind rage. In the end, they had been surrounded by Heartless and Zack had fallen trying to fight them all off. Yes, it was Sephiroth's fault, and Cloud would never let that go.

He came back to the present as they covered the short distance between Cloud's home and Merlin's. Yuffie hadn't tried to talk to him more after he had resignedly started to come, but now as they were approaching, blue feathers were scattered all over the lawn and the porch. In spite of himself, Cloud was chilled. He bent and picked one up, holding it up to the moonlight. "Sephiroth," he whispered.

"Come on, come on!" Yuffie urged, just stepping on the feathers as she hopped through the doorway.

Cloud followed, but for some reason he stepped over the feathers as much as he could. Then he just stopped and stared at the sight in the living room.

Sephiroth was laying very still on the carpet while Merlin bent over him, gently taking hold of the knife to ease it out of Sephiroth's flesh. More feathers had fallen around him and his wings were spread out, limp and vulnerable. The largest had draped over the coffee table and the end of the couch. The other two were easy prey for anyone not watching where they were walking.

Cloud's heart gathered speed. For some reason, now he felt dizzy, sick. "Sephiroth . . . why?" He had never seen his enemy like this. Sephiroth was so pale, so limp, so completely vulnerable.

Merlin barely glanced up. "Oh good, Cloud! You're here." He carefully pulled the knife out of Sephiroth's flesh and then frowned deeply at the result. Something purple on the blade was mixing with Sephiroth's blood.

". . . What's that?" Cloud asked.

"A very deadly poison," Merlin said grimly. Cloud had only rarely heard him sound that serious and worried. "It's not sold or made here at all. It's far too potent. The only people who still use it are typically evil sorcerers. It takes intentions of true evil to make it at all. The very essence of evil is the main ingredient."

". . . Well, can you fix it?!" Cloud demanded. Merlin was as good as those people were evil. He should be able to fix it, shouldn't he?

But Merlin shook his head. "There is only one thing that will heal a spell this dark and filled with hate. Someone has to care about him deeply enough to want with all their heart for him to live."

"True love?!" Cloud boomed in disbelief.

"True love isn't only romantic, you know," Merlin said. "That is a gross misconception."

"Yeah, but . . ." Cloud looked down. "The only person who cared about Sephiroth that much is . . ."

"Missing, not dead!" Merlin interrupted. "And Sephiroth has never given up trying to find him."

Cloud started. "He still looks for Zack?!" Guilt washed over him at this news. Cloud himself didn't look for Zack anymore, believing him dead. But Sephiroth was still trying after all this time? ". . . I had no idea."

"Sadly, no one has had any luck finding Zack," Merlin said. "And Sephiroth will die without the antidote to this poison being administered within thirty minutes."

"It's that fast?!" Cloud looked down helplessly at his enemy. "But . . . he's not a real person, is he? If he 'dies,' he'll just be pulled back into my heart. . . ."

"Balderdash! He's as real as you or me!" Merlin scoffed. "Cloud Strife, you must let go of your ridiculous ideas about him!" Sobering, he added, "And I'm afraid this attack was very deliberate and very cruel. They knew there would be no one to save him." He stood up with the knife. "I'm going to go try to call out to Zack on my crystal ball. Zack is his only hope, I'm afraid."

"But . . . even if Zack's still alive, maybe he's never forgiven Sephiroth," Cloud said helplessly. "Maybe he's even staying away on purpose."

"We'll just have to pray that's not true!" Merlin retorted. "I'll have the Restoration Committee help me so we can try to move faster." He hurried off to his crystal ball room, leaving Cloud with Sephiroth's motionless body.

And Yuffie. She had just stood around stock-still during the conversation, wide-eyed and bewildered by everything. "That's . . . pretty heavy stuff," she said at last.

Cloud ignored her and just stared down at his old enemy. Normally Sephiroth was so proud, so fearless, so confident and determined. Now he was just laying practically dead, and he would die if Zack could not be located or if Zack no longer loved Sephiroth to that extent.

Finally Cloud reached for the other's limp body. It wasn't right, to leave him on the floor like this. Cloud was moving to get up and try to pull Sephiroth onto the couch when he lost his grip and Sephiroth fell against Cloud like a ragdoll.

Cloud flinched. "Oh, for the love of . . ."

He trailed off. There had been no reaction from Sephiroth. He was flushed from the poison and also looked hurt from the beating. Cloud had known he was dying, but somehow this drove it home all the more. He would very likely never wake up again. No more shadowing or tests or weird remarks. . . . Cloud would be free at last.

Would he?

"So . . . you're really dying," Cloud said quietly. "You're dying and no one can do anything to save you unless Zack can be found and he still loves you.

"Why . . . who would do this to you?! Do you go around shadowing other people and telling them you're their darkness too?! . . . It's no wonder someone would hate you so much that they'd beat you up for saying that. But to stab you like this, knowing there was no hope . . ."

Who would be that evil? Who would cast a spell of pure hatred on him?

. . . Pure hatred. What an oxymoron.

Cloud felt dizzy again. He had hated Sephiroth so much, some sorcerer could probably take his feelings and make the spell out of them. What if they even had? What if Cloud had unknowingly contributed to this death sentence? He might have not cared once, but now . . . now. . . .

"Sephiroth . . . I . . ." Cloud shuddered, shaking his head. "I don't want you to die. Please . . . you've gotta fight. Please. . . ."

He barely noticed that Yuffie had slipped out of the room. They were alone, and with Sephiroth clearly at death's door, Cloud felt so helpless. There was nothing he could do.

"Wake up!" he suddenly burst out in typical anger. But . . . he wasn't angry at Sephiroth. He was angry at this whole horrible situation, at whoever had stabbed Sephiroth, at whoever had made the spell.

Oh God, please don't let it be his own feelings that had done this. . . .

Cloud shuddered, his voice rising and lowering in his helplessness. "Wake up. . . . Don't do this. . . . Do you want to give them what they want?! Just fight it, for Pete's sake! Fight it! Come back!" He gave Sephiroth a vicious shake but stopped. That was not going to help. Sephiroth was too far gone. He would not wake up from an act of violence.

Slowly Cloud let Sephiroth sink back against him. He was heavy, but Cloud scarcely cared about that right now.

". . . Do you even want to come back?" he wondered. "Maybe . . . if you really cared about Zack . . . you'd rather die and go to him. . . ."

And yet he couldn't picture that. Sephiroth was the type who would cling to life out of sheer spite if people wanted him dead. He would never let them win if he could at all help it.

He really couldn't help it right now. Cloud could feel his breathing growing more shallow. His heart had been racing from the poison, but now it was slowing too. His body was giving out.

"God, don't do this!"

Was Cloud taking God's name in vain or was he actually appealing to God for help? Right now he wasn't even sure.

His hands shaking, he laid Sephiroth back on the floor on his back instead of his stomach and bent over him, listening to the slowing heartbeat.

Sephiroth had a heart. . . . He was alive, he was real. He wasn't literally Cloud's darkness.

"Don't die!" Cloud screamed. In almost mad desperation, he rose up and pounded on Sephiroth's chest in a frantic imitation of CPR. When that had no effect, he bent down again. This was not what he wanted to do, but it was the only idea he had left.

Of course, the artificial respiration didn't work either. Cloud was finally forced to concede defeat and he just slumped down, his head resting on Sephiroth's chest. He could feel the other's breath and heart slowing . . . stopping. Then there was nothing and Cloud was still kneeling there, defeated, despairing. He reached out, gripping a handful of Sephiroth's coat.

It was what he had once thought he wanted, what he had thought would set him free. But the illusion he (had it really been him?) had crafted had left him numb and not fulfilled at all. And this . . . this helpless death, not fitting for a warrior at all, was not how Sephiroth should have died.

Murdered. He had been murdered. Someone had deliberately used a rare and evil poison that they had known would kill him. They had known no one loved him enough to save his life.

Why couldn't this be an illusion too?

But it was real, all too real, and now hatred was starting to flame Cloud's heart again. He pushed himself up, grabbing for the hilt of the buster sword.

"I'll find out who did this," he snarled. "They won't get away with it."

He paused as he started to get up. Sephiroth looked so alone laying there on the floor. . . .What would happen to him now? What would Merlin do with him? There wasn't anyone to claim his body.

He let go of the buster sword again. Maybe . . . maybe he should take care of this first. . . . Even though he couldn't stand to look at his former enemy so still . . . and dead. . . .

He bent down again, desperately checking once again in case he had missed something. Was there any hint of breath? Any heartbeat that might just be too weak to detect? He really knew there was not, that there would never be again, but he kept searching. It was just . . . too hard to believe this was real.

"Sephiroth . . . get up," Cloud finally pleaded. "You're not dead! You have to get up. . . . GET! UP!" He slammed his hand into the carpet.

Of course there was no response, and Cloud slumped back against the bottom of the couch, digging a hand into his hair.

He only belatedly realized that his shoulders were shaking and tears were slipping from his eyes. This was . . . this was not possible either. He couldn't feel this badly over Sephiroth laying dead at his feet.

And yet he did.

One tear splashed down, hitting Sephiroth's closed eye. At first nothing happened. Naturally, nothing would. Only . . . after a moment, the eyelid fluttered.

Cloud started, pressing himself against the couch. That . . . couldn't have just happened. It was some kind of reflex, right? It had to be!

But then there was a light that exploded out and surrounded Sephiroth's body, pulsating and warm and . . . healing? The light faded and Sephiroth sharply drew in a breath, his eyes snapping open.

Cloud was pressed so far against the couch, he wondered why it wasn't swallowing him up. He could only stare at this . . . this impossibility of what he had seeing. He had lost it, hadn't he? After all, he'd been crying over Sephiroth. He had to be crazy. Why not go all the way and pretend the guy was coming back to life?

Slowly Sephiroth sat up. He seemed just as confused as Cloud was, if not moreso. He ran his hands down his chest and then reached behind himself to feel for the stab wound. His hand came away clean; the wound was gone.

Cloud choked.

That sound finally brought Sephiroth's attention to the younger man. For a long moment they just stared at each other, neither speaking, neither knowing what to say.

At last it was Sephiroth who broke the shocked silence.

"Cloud," he said, "I think you saved my life."