Chapter 23
Taste
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They belong to Shonda Rhimes (I hope I'm not mistaken)
Background: Starts from the beginning of season 1 with their first meeting at the bar. AU from there. Derek is looking for a fresh start, one-night stands and mostly- oblivion from his carefully built life back home. Meredith is a virgin but still hotheaded and stubborn to no end. When her one-night-stand attempt ends up her boss, she's mortified. Still, not as mortified as overhearing him talk to another attending asking him is she was frigid and Derek agreeing with him. Now he's determined to forget about her, and she will do anything to prove his words wrong. None of them expected to fall for each other in the process.
Most of the regular characters will be there, though I may give them slightly different stories. Christina is with Owen from the start, I was never much into Burke. Lots of drama because writing is my way to vent.
Note: There's a lot that happened in the last months, personally, globally, and in the town I live especially. Had to take a break, but I'm getting back in the swing of things. There will be a lot of sweetness, a lot of darkness, a lot of angst, a lot of hope. I hope this hasn't totally ruined the story by taking this time, but it was necessary.
1.
They danced, flush together, one of his hands playing with her curls and another securely around her waist. The smell of her flowery perfume and his aftershave were mixing together. He caressed her cheek. He loved that they could spend time in silence and it wasn't awkward- except he couldn't stop worrying. Though the closeness of her curves pushing against his body was a pretty good distraction. He could feel her heart fluttering and he looked at her face worried.
She blushed. 'I'm okay.'
Her heart begged otherwise, racing even faster.
'Mer?'
They had stopped dancing and both his hands were now around her face, his blue eyes locked on hers. She lowered his hands, wrapping hers around his neck, slowly raising on her toes, and leaned in, teasing a kiss out of him. Deep, sweet, indulging. Her hands were scrunching the back of his shirt as she felt his wrap around her. Then she stepped one step away, half of her curls falling over her glowing, blushing face. She reached behind to pull the knot of the wrap dress and it slid down, leaving her in a lacy bralette in deep navy. matching her underwear, and black tights.
He drank her in- every curve, every line.
Every bruise. She must've read his eyes, because she blinked a few times in embarrassment and he shook his head.
'Honey, you're incredible.'
He slowly kneeled in front of her to kiss the bruises on her flat, silky mid-area, raising his eyes at her. Seeking permission. She nodded and he slowly helped her get out of the tights, kissing the sensitive spots down her legs. No one had ever kneeled in front of her before. She felt like a goddess. Her heart was racing like a jackhammer, the warmth buzzing through her body, as she pulled him up shyly.
There was music in the background but she had ceased to notice anything around her, but him.
She worked on unbuttoning his shirt, but her hands shook and he gently helped her. Now that he knew- at least enough- he was in awe of their moments together. He'd been rash and passionate and even rough maybe- and she'd taken it better, considering. Now was a whole new field after everything. But then his shirt was on the floor, and she followed his lead, gently kissing his neck, his shoulders, their interlocked fingers, and his chest, and back up again, pulling him deeper with her fingers in his curly hair. Like she was making some crazy sweet map of kisses all over his body. They kissed deeper, the warmth surrounding them, expanding as they moved towards the bed.
She hesitated now, eying the bed as if she'd never seen one in her life.
2.
He gently kissed her on the cheek, his fingers playing gently with her locks in quiet reassurance. She blushed.
'This is your night, Mer. Sit. We're in no hurry.'
Hurry? Who said there was hurry? But how else- what else- her thoughts tangled in the haziness of the moment, so entangled in this buzzing warm feeling that she couldn't think straight.
She laid in the bed on her side, then sat up propped on her knees, unsure. How was she supposed to impress him? She knew nothing. She was completely oblivious that he was drinking every move of her, every curve, every falling curl, the heat rising sweetly on her cheeks. She looked like a goddess. Uncomfortable and innocent, but still so strong, blushing, uncomfortable, but a goddess nonetheless.
She didn't know what to say. Does she invite him in? What is one meant to-
'There is triple layer chocolate cake in the backpack... Izzy baked it, it's delicious.' she babbled, unable to stop herself.
He smiled widely and pulled the box from the backpack, along with 2 forks, until Mer shook her head no.
'No cake?'
'Yes, cake. No forks.' Her face became red, but she didn't mind as he sat down on the bed, only in his pants, and opened the box. He took a small piece of cake and handed it to her. She ate it, and pulled him in for a kiss, all the chocolate goodness melting in his mouth. He'd never wanted anyone this much, but he couldn't get this wrong. He wouldn't.
A bite of cake fell in her bra, and she laughed in a slow melodic shy laugh.
Then she gently leaned back, feeling something new awaken in her. A playfulness she'd never been allowed to have. 'Maybe you should help me.'
He swallowed hard, setting the box on the nightstand, dumbfounded and cautious.
'Derek?' He slid off the bed, sliding off his pants, which felt uncomfortably tight, and he knew she was watching. He climbed back into bed only in black boxers, as she pulled the hook on the back of her bra with one hand, shaky and warm like she had a fever. He was laying next to her propped on an elbow, drinking in every move. The piece of cake was right at the line of her perky- he swallowed again, leaned to get the chocolate, and felt her hot and soft, arching slightly underneath him. He raised his eyes to her and pulled her in a deep chocolate kiss, playing with her golden curls. Somehow one of his legs was between hers, their hands were all over each other, and the kiss was speeding up, but deeper and more intense than anything she'd ever done.
She didn't want to stop. She could feel him through the lace, she could feel him on her bare chest, she could feel them entangling. She could feel his heart vibrating in unison with her own. Her mind tangled again, his face blurry in her vision. She nibbled on his lips, kissed his shoulder, played with his hair, one of her legs wrapped around him, hot sweaty underneath him. Restless. Scared. Shy. Daring. There was nothing else existing in her world but him. What now?
'Dereek.' She called his name and it came out as a low moan that drove him even closer, but he stilled, for her meeting her eyes. They reflected his, warm, darker with passion, but there was something else.
'Do you want to stop?' he said with a scratchy voice, his whole body aching for hers, caressing her messy locks. She shook her head no. 'Can I?' He gently played with the edge of her underwear and she nodded as he slid them off and then leaned over her for another indulging full-body kiss. She was warm everywhere and trembling in anticipation, until his hand gently slid on the inside of her tight and her own hand clasped over his to her own surprise. Her breath broke to small gasps, desperately searching for air. Her body knew before her mind had caught up and the bruise there made her feel nauseous.
The golden bubble she'd felt she was in with Derek burst, leaving her feeling exposed and vulnerable. She was laying under him, shining with sweat, silky and soft, blushing and blinking away the tears though the stormy sea of her eyes. She hadn't pushed his hand away, but she was clutching it, digging her fingers in, her body now trembling in a different way.
'Mer'
If she said another word, she'd break, she didn't want to ruin the moment.
3.
'Honey. Relax. I will pull my hand away, just relax.' She nodded. All the energy had drained out of her. She released his hand, finger by finger, barely feeling it. He pulled her hand to his face and kissed it gently, trying to get her to look at him. His face was coming in and out of focus, and her fingers interlocked with his squeezed with tension. Suddenly and overwhelmingly all his attention was on her in a completely different way. Jesus. She was so tiny, so beautiful, so shy and innocent. But now she was also so terrified of something that should feel so natural, so good. He wanted to hurt everyone who'd made her feel this way. Beat them into bloody pulp until they knew how she felt. But now- he concentrated on his- he swallowed- he would concentrate on her. ' It's okay. We said nothing is decided. It's okay. It's okay.'
He kissed her red cheek slowly, gently, lovingly. ' I'm okay. You're okay. It's okay not to do everything today. I just need a tiny shower. I'll be back before you know it.' He tried lightening the mood. He kissed her cheek again.
'You'll be okay.'
She nodded breathlessly, afraid of trying to speak, as he pulled the forest green plush blanket over her so she wouldn't get cold. She snuggled in it, and he hesitantly kissed her shoulder, as if seeking her permission. He didn't want to leave her, not knowing her thoughts. He didn't want her scared or closing in herself again. When he was back she appeared relaxed, laying curled up in the bed. Except he could see a slight tremble in her body. He crossed the room in a split second, climbing in bed and kneeling in front of her, but her face was covered in her hands. He ran a hand through his still wet hair, still only having the towel around his waist, hesitant and a little scared himself.
'Honey?' He rubbed her shoulder and she wanted to look at him, but she couldn't stop the rumble of tears and pain ready to release at the slightest touch. She felt safe with him, but so embarrassed of her own reaction, and every feeling she'd pushed down wanted to spill over.
'Mer? Whatever you want we'll do.' He was suddenly calm and collected, reassuring. He had to be, for her. 'Do you want food? To watch a movie? To seep a little?'
She raised her eyes, the tears bubbling, and one spilled over. 'I ruined it.' She said, the ball of her body finally releasing a little as she extended and unclutched the knots of stress in her legs under the blanket.
He sighed, slightly relieved, and mimicked her, laying on his side and finally, she could focus on the warmth in his eyes. He pulled her chin closer, kissed the tear, and then kissed her lips, slowly, with all the gentleness he possessed. He never wanted her to feel pressured again, ever.
'You ruined nothing. Hear me. You said you were not sure how far you wanted to go, and I agreed. There is nothing wrong in that.'
'But-'
'I promise.'
She locked her eyes on his, seeking the truth. He wasn't lying. He seemed okay, more okay than she was with this development.
'Don't y-you want me?' She whispered, her perfect body giving away a tremble of hesitation.
'That's not what I said.'
She kept looking at him and he found himself dying to know what she thought, she felt. He pulled her face to her in a mushy, warm kiss. 'Every day, all the time, honey. Never doubt that.'
The fear and uncertainty clutching at her released. 'Derek-' He caressed her hair gently, reassuring her all his attention was on her.
'Yes?'
'Make love to me, please.' She said, and his heart tugged again for a second time today, breaking some unspoken promise he'd made to himself. His eyes sought permission, lost in hers. 'I want this.' She assured him.