Chapter 27

Triage pt 4: Cristina

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They belong to Shonda Rhimes (I hope I'm not mistaken)

Background: Starts from the beginning of season 1 with their first meeting at the bar. AU from there. Derek is looking for a fresh start, one-night stands and mostly- oblivion from his carefully built life back home. Meredith is a virgin but still hotheaded and stubborn to no end. When her one-night-stand attempt ends up her boss, she's mortified. Still, not as mortified as overhearing him talk to another attending asking him is she was frigid and Derek agreeing with him. Now he's determined to forget about her, and she will do anything to prove his words wrong. None of them expected to fall for each other in the process.

Most of the regular characters will be there, though I may give them slightly different stories. Christina is with Owen from the start, I was never much into Burke. Lots of drama because writing is my way to vent.

Note: There's a lot that happened in the last months, personally, globally, and in the town I live especially. Had to take a break, but I'm getting back in the swing of things. There will be a lot of sweetness, a lot of darkness, a lot of angst, a lot of hope. I hope this hasn't totally ruined the story by taking this time, but it was necessary.

"What if I told you trauma was a stalker, follows me room to room, visits me at work, leaves dead animals on my dayplanner, texts me knives,

licks my memory before I have a chance to get it right...

This is how I learned to dance, with half of my body on fire... there is not enough whiskey in the world to make any of this bearable,

But I have been screaming in the basement of my trauma, trying to find a window, a light, a string, a sound.' -Mary Lambert, Trauma is a stalker

1.

Meredith woke heaving in panic, as she usually had the last week. By Derek's grunting, she realized she'd been the one to wake him up too- and yet his arms never stopped being safely wrapped around her. He kissed her back and shoulders and held her while her breath started settling, and the edges of her mouth started curling up. He could always tell if she was better, just by the way his body fit into his, how close or far she was trying to be, how rigid or relaxed.

'I'm fine.' her voice was cracking.

'I'd believe you more if you were able to look me in the eye while saying that.'

She squirmed- or rather it came out that way because she tried to giggle through the tears gathered in her throat.

'It's how I wake up.'

'It really shouldn't be.'

She twisted in the warmth of his arms to face him, noticing he'd not shaved and his eyes were a little tired. Her fault. He must've read her mind, because he kissed her cheek. 'It's not. Your fault. I want to be here. But you can come to watch me shave.'

He joked, and she warmed up. Her Der- damn it, she had to stop thinking that.

'Finally some color on your face.'

'Oooh.' She hadn't noticed she was bushing until then, and she did the first thing that came to mind- she kissed him deeply, wrapping her body around his. His arms still around her, he spun her until she was on top.

'Mmm... One can get used to this.' His arms were still around her and she didn't want to pull back. He could feel her smiling. She covered his face in kisses, and then glided lower, covering his bare chest in kisses as well. She wasn't planning anything, but things were beginning to feel natural with him, so she just... followed her feelings. One of his hands was playfully at the back of her neck and the other exploring her bare back, which felt lovely and warming... until one of his hands was on her hip pulling her closer, and she froze, her hands on his arms suddenly started digging in for stability in the panic. She forced her fingers to relax and hid her face. She groaned in his chest, frustrated for the both of them.

He pulled her back up in the hug, whispering in her hair.

'Shhh, honey, we're okay. We are taking it slow.'

'The only thing I like about that sentence is the we part.' She grunted, frustrated with herself. It was somewhat marvelous how she'd never really wanted to be with anyone- and now that the feeling had woken up within her it was growing by the day.

'You're not running away. That's progress.'

"What it is, is pathetic.' She moaned. He kissed her forehead, and before he can add anything, there was another voice behind the hotel room door.

'Gotta agree with that.' A knock followed.

Meredith rose so fast she saw stars, and thankfully had the reflexes to pull the blanket around her naked body before opening the hotel door.

'Cristina! What the hell?'

Derek groaned behind her. 'Ugh, that one is my fault. I didn't think she'd be that punctual.'

2.

'You said 6am, I'm here at 6am. Besides dude, there are people needing their heads examined or whatever it is that you do in that building someone neatly called a hospital. Scram.'

Derek turned to Meredith in bewilderment and she shrugged in amusement. 'She doesn't do subtle.'

Derek turned to Cristina, trying to regain composure only 'dressed' in the sheet Mer had spared on the bed. 'You are aware I outrank you right?'

'Only in the hospital. Which you might be late for, by the way. Also, I suggest you shave if you don't want to scare the patients.'

Derek looked at her and back to Meredith who shrugged again, shocked at the scene developing.

'Cristina. Close the damn door, this is not a road show.'

She hissed and her friend came in and followed instructions. Then she went to open the curtains and windows, and both Derek and Meredith winced at the early morning light, one holding onto a blanket and the other a sheet. Meredith recovered first.

'Anyone want to fill me in, now?'

'She is your friend.' He said.

'That part I know?!'

'Well, it's your last day of freedom before being back at the hospital. Thought you'd need some entertainment. I'm reconsidering.'

He gave a side eye to Cristina, who looked at him dead serious.'I think I'm hilarious.'

'I sort of thought I was spending my last day of freedom with you.' Mer smiled, her cheeks red and her eyes shining, her hair falling in a lovely way on her shoulders.

Derek cursed himself internally to concentrate and sighed, though the blue in his eyes was still shining. She wanted him here. That was a- lovely- start. He sighed.

'They put a pin on my hearing because there is an urgent patient coming in from Chicago that I have to operate on.'

'So you're leaving me for surgeries?'

'Imma go shave.' said Derek, pulling her by the waist and kissing her so deeply she was red down to her neck when he let go. She was too surprised and delighted to actually be mad. 'Would have done the same.' she yelled after him laughing, just to reassure him. Then she turned to Cristina.

'Explain please.' Her friend pointed in direction Derek went, like that said everything. ' Okay, so he called you and you figured I needed a babysitter?' She crossed her hands in front of her body protectively. 'Did I get this right?'

Cristina looked up and down and side ways. 'I mean, let's be honest here.'

Meredith's heart took a sudden jump. Honest. Nope. She was good as far away from that as possible. 'Joking. Don't take it so personally. I'm your person. Besides, we aren't going to like, sit on the couch and cry or anything.'

'Thank God for that. Done enough for a lifetime.'

'Yup.' Cristina acknowledged, not even blinking at the bruises still covering what could be seen of Mer's jawline. Meredith was grateful for that. 'Just going to take you to a place. It actually wasn't my idea, it was Evil Spawn's, but he didn't get to finish his day...'

'Alex? What did he plan? He doesn't strike me as a planner much'

'He's not. But this one ya need, trust me. But after we're just watching surgeries at home, no big woop.'

Mer didn't look convinced and Cristina added, 'No Ben, now that everyone is up to speed.'

Mer simultaneously relaxed and also felt a little nauseous at the idea that everyone 'knew'. Though she wasn't clear if everyone knew quite the same amount. Definitely, something she didn't want to contemplate yet.

'Okay, fine. Where are we going?'

3.

It was an abandoned-looking hall, littered with old TVs, tables, radios, chairs, and any furniture one could imagine. There was a 'cage' with a wall covered in weapons- baseball bat, crowbar, pieces of pipes and wood, even a sword, and a bunch of protective plastic glasses and helmets.

'What-the-hell?'

Meredith didn't know such places existed, but she was still trying to figure out what it was, to be fair.

'Oh. It's a breaking room.'

'A what now?'

'Breaking room.' She nodded to the people at the table in the corner. Clearly, it was already agreed for. The guys at the table nodded and retreated to an office at the back. 'Usually, anyone can come in and out at the same time, but it's only ours for a few hours.'

'Why?'

'People come here to break stuff. You put on glasses and a helmet, and you go to town. It's how people work out their rage,'

'I don't have rage!'

'O-okay.'

'I don't!' Her voice was way too squeamish. She definitely needed this, decided Cristina. Good on Alex, for once, she approved. 'Oh, just take a pair of glasses and a helmet and choose a weapon.'

Meredith followed, putting on a black helmet and taking a baseball bat wrapped in wire with knots on it. Cristina prepared herself as well.

'Now what?'

'Now imagine Liam's face on those things and go for it.' Cristina instructed, and she saw her friend's body freeze. Meredith's ears filled with this high pitched sound, and she had the sudden feeling she was out of air. 'N-ah. Don't do that.'

'I'm not doing anything.' Her voice sounded small, even to her.

Cristina's eyes were burning a hole through her, even with the glasses on. She put 2 steady hands on her friend's shoulders, and Meredith wanted to push her away with everything that was in her. Staying still took everything out of her. 'Stop being afraid of him. Of him being here. F*ck where he is. Where are you?!'

The feelings twisted and fought within her, and finally, the baseball bat hit the TV, and pieces of plastic or glass or whatever from the screen was made of, flew to the side, energy draining out of her body. She screamed, half of her mind still with the girl with her face pushed into her own couch, whom she couldn't protect. Her. She screamed, as the bat swung and hit furniture and electronics, no longer in control of herself.

Something old and twisted and blood-red was awakened in her. She swung and swung and screamed and shouted, feeling the bat hitting things, but no longer seeing what. Everything had become this blur. She just spun and hit and hit and screamed for the girl that had lost her voice so long ago. She screamed and cried and hit. She wasn't running anymore. Her face was wet with tears, but she couldn't feel it through the shroud of anger. When Cristina tapped her shoulder to stop, she nearly swung at her friend.

A huge wave of shaky relief spread through her body. There was nothing else left to feel, not at that moment.

They left the bats, glasses, and helmets back. Cristina hugged her from one side before her wobbly body was about to slide down.

'Burger's at Joe's for lunch?' She suggested, absolutely unphased by the emotions Meredith had shown. Mer nodded, her stomach suddenly growling.

'You bet.'