Chapter Fourteen

Cloud pulled the quilt closer around his shoulders as he sat cross-legged in front of a crackling fire, staring blankly into the blaze. Sephiroth lay stretched out on his side next to him on another quilt, with a third quilt draped over him. The wings lay lifeless and still.

They were both wearing dry clothes. Tifa and Aerith had gone and got clothes from Cloud's house, while Zack had grabbed something for Sephiroth. Cloud and Zack had worked together to change Sephiroth's clothes before Cloud had even considered taking the time to change his own, despite Zack's and Merlin's objections.

It had been a strange and surreal task, seeing him that vulnerable. That had been part of what Kala-Ansa had wanted for herself. But Cloud had felt nothing like what she had, only sorrow and discomfort. He had moved quickly to dress Sephiroth and then had carefully moved the wings so that they would feel the warmth from the heat too. He didn't want to see Sephiroth like that . . . or like this.

Just say something. Please. Smirk at me, make an embarrassing crack . . . anything. Just let me know you're alright!

What I wouldn't give for you to be laying on my couch right now and get up shedding feathers. . . . Leave them all over everything, if you'd just stand up and be okay!

He had found several feathers clinging to his wet clothes when he had changed out of them. He had stared at them, knowing they were there because Sephiroth had been trying so hard to warm him and save his life. Then he had peeled them off—oh, how feathers stuck to wet things!—set them on the edge of the bathroom sink, and gripped the porcelain as he had just sobbed. He had cleaned himself up before going back out to Zack, but Zack had probably still seen that he had been crying.

He didn't know how long they had been keeping their vigil now. The Restoration Committee was in and out of the room, checking on them and monitoring Sephiroth, but for the most part they seemed to feel this was private between Cloud, Zack, and Sephiroth and left them alone. Cloud definitely preferred not having a huge audience.

"This whole time has just been nuts ever since Sephiroth was targeted by the Evil Queen," Cloud muttered. "I realized I love him, even though I wanted to deny it at first. Now I won't deny it. I don't even care about the gossip. But . . . will he ever know that?"

"Of course he will," Zack said. "That'll make him real happy." He laid a hand on Sephiroth's shoulder. "I have some things I need to tell him too."

Cloud looked to Zack in surprise. But then realization hit and his eyes widened. "You remember?!"

"Yeah," Zack said softly. "Everything. And I need him to know it's okay. I forgive him for what happened. From everything I've been hearing, he's never got over it and he's been living in his own private Hell ever since then." He gently brushed a lock of Sephiroth's hair away from his face. "I could never hate him for it, especially under those circumstances. I'm just glad he didn't stay lost in the darkness."

". . . It took me this long to figure out how much he was suffering because of it," Cloud said quietly. "I wish I hadn't wasted so much time hating him. We could've helped each other through the grief over losing you. Maybe we could've even looked for you together."

Zack gave a sad smile. "That would've been nice for both of you."

"How did you remember anyway?" Cloud wondered.

"I think I'll wait to tell that until Seph can hear," Zack said with that same sad smile.

"What if . . . no." Cloud shook his head. He wasn't going to think it wasn't going to happen. He wasn't strong enough to think that.

"Seph's coming back to us," Zack said. "Just get him good and warm and he'll come back." He reached down, gently patting one of the wings.

It was such a different touch than what Cloud had seen from Kala-Ansa earlier that night. Zack's was so pure and good. But the wing remained still.

"How much longer is it going to take?" Cloud said in frustrated despair.

Worry went through Zack's eyes. "There's also the knock on his head," he said. "Maybe even if he would have woke up by now normally, that will keep him under longer."

"I know it was really bothering him," Cloud said quietly. "We wouldn't have even landed in the snow if he hadn't been hurt. And then he fell in a frozen pond on top of that. It was only after that when he wandered around in the snow for hours. He kept me warm, but . . ."

"Anybody else would probably be dead," Zack said. "I just . . . can't make myself believe Seph's gone." He ran his fingers sadly over the dark blue feathers. "This time it would've been over for real. We would've been free."

Cloud looked away. "That'd figure, if he's gone now," he said huskily. "Two different women wanted him dead because of his looks. Can you believe that?"

"It's wild," Zack said darkly.

"Why were they so blind?" Cloud helplessly whispered. Why was I so blind? "Why couldn't they see that he's good?" Why did it take me so long to see that he's good?

Zack drew an arm around Cloud's shoulders and hugged him close. "They've been drowning in the darkness for so long, they don't care anymore," he said. "But you care, Buddy. You still saw how good he is. You made him real happy these last few days."

"You being back is what made him real happy," Cloud countered. "I know he cared about me too, but he loved you the most."

"He loves us both equal," Zack insisted.

". . . And are those few days all we get?" Cloud asked in despair. "Do we really not get to know what it's like to be happy longer than that?"

"Oh Buddy. . . . No, Cloud. We'll get more than that," Zack insisted. "A lot more."

But Zack couldn't know that for sure. No one could. And Cloud finally broke down in front of him, sobbing as he clutched at Zack like a lifeline. Zack held him, tears silently slipping from his own eyes.

xxxx

Cloud had lost count of how long they had been there. Hours? Merlin had said it might take hours to warm Sephiroth enough. He hadn't said when they would know for sure that they had tried everything and it was no use. Cloud hadn't dared to ask.

Zack had been talking quietly to Sephiroth off and on, gently stroking his hair and reassuring him that they were all safe and saying how much they needed and wanted him back with them. Cloud had certainly said those things in his mind, but he hadn't really spoken to Sephiroth since getting to Merlin's. Talking to unconscious or —Heaven forbid—dead people with an audience wasn't really something he did. But by now he was wearing down on that and blinking back tears that never seemed to go away.

". . . Zack's right, you know," he finally muttered voluntarily. Zack looked up with a start but then smiled. Cloud continued, "We . . . we're a family. All of us together. You can't . . . you can't leave us like this!" He gripped Sephiroth's cold hand. "Just come back. I don't care if I find feathers on every piece of furniture in my house, just as long as you're alive and well to put them there. Please . . . !"

Sephiroth was still silent, and Cloud's shoulders slumped.

Merlin appeared in the doorway. "Has there been any change?"

Cloud shook his head. "No."

Merlin sighed heavily and came in, kneeling down by Sephiroth to examine him.

"Well?!" Zack demanded.

Merlin shook his head. "I'm afraid by now there is little else we can do."

"Give us a little bit longer," Zack pleaded.

Cloud nodded agreement. "I can't . . . I can't give up on him yet."

Finally Merlin nodded too, in resignation. "Alright. A few more minutes." He slipped away from the room. He didn't want to concede defeat either. He had wanted Sephiroth to be alright. He had tried to believe it was possible. He would let the boys keep reaching for that glimmer of hope, no matter how faint it was growing.

Cloud's wing drooped. He wanted to get his mind on something, anything else. ". . . Merlin said Kala-Ansa was arrested?"

"Yeah, she was," Zack said. "They'd better throw the book at her." His voice had darkened.

"If Sephiroth doesn't wake up, it'll be murder," Cloud said, also darkly. "I'm sure this is because she hit him with that rock."

"That couldn't have helped," Zack agreed.

". . . What's going to happen to her kid?" Cloud wondered.

"She's got an aunt who took her in for now," Zack said. "The aunt seems like a nice, normal person, thankfully."

Cloud snorted. "Yeah, just one Kala-Ansa's too much."

"All the town's upset now, at least, especially the ones who'd gone to her for financial help," Zack said. "Now they're going to Scrooge McDuck to find out how they can get out of it and if they can switch their business to him."

"I guess he's happy tonight," Cloud grunted. His voice lowered as he added, "Maybe he's the only one who is."

Zack bit his lip. "Yeah. . . ." He hesitated, then laid down behind Sephiroth and hugged him close through the quilt. "Are you still not warm enough, Seph? Maybe we can help. . . ."

Cloud hesitated too but then hugged him from the side, being careful of the wings. "We're here," he whispered. "Right here."

He wasn't sure again how long they kept that up. He didn't want to think about time or follow a clock. He knew they were almost out of time according to Merlin. If Sephiroth just couldn't wake up . . . if he was gone . . . nothing would work and they would be forced to stop.

It was Zack who finally seemed to accept it first. "Oh Seph. . . ." He blinked back tears, but more only replaced them. "You tried so hard, but . . ." He drew a shaking breath as he rocked back and knelt up. "You just couldn't make it. . . ."

Cloud shut his eyes tightly. "No. . . . No, not yet. Please, not yet. . . ."

"Cloud . . ." Zack didn't try to hide that he was crying. "We've been at this for hours. He's warm." He touched Sephiroth's skin, then checked again for a pulse. "He's not coming back, Cloud."

"I can't let him go yet!" Cloud retorted. He burrowed against Sephiroth's shoulder. "I hated him so much for so long and I never should have! He loved me even with all of that! He risked everything for me!" He choked on a sob. "I was just finally coming to realize I love him too. I can't just throw him away! Maybe if you had really remembered him before now, you wouldn't feel like you can! Or is it because of how you lost your memories that you're ready to throw him under the bus now?!"

The words had leaped out of his mouth before he had felt like stopping them. But as soon as they were said, he froze. How could he have said that? He looked up, awash with guilt.

Zack was silent, stricken. He didn't speak for a long moment. When he finally did, his voice was quiet.

"If I was alone with him, I'd keep on trying," he admitted sorrowfully. "I'm worried about you too, Cloud. And I know Seph wouldn't want us to keep going if it's hopeless. He'd want me to get you to stop."

"I can't stop yet," Cloud said. "But Zack . . . I . . . I never should have said that. I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I hated him for so long because I blamed him for you falling, and yet now I went and said something like that to you. I can't believe I did that. . . ."

Zack gave a sad smile. "It really shows how much you came to love him."

"He would never want me to say something like that. I . . . I'm dishonoring him." Cloud felt unworthy to be there again. But if he left now, Sephiroth wouldn't have anyone left to still try to get him back. Everyone was giving up. It probably was stupid to keep trying, but Cloud just wasn't ready to let go.

Zack squeezed his shoulder. "I love Seph so much, I just can't bear to see him like this," he confessed. "But I'm happy to see you fighting for him so much. You're right, Cloud. Let's try again. One . . . one more time." His voice caught in his throat. He laid down again and hugged Sephiroth close.

Cloud hugged him too. God, please don't make it be too late. Please give him another chance. Please give us another chance to be a family with him, now that Zack remembers and now that I know I love him. He wanted to live. Please . . . let him live!

After such a horrific, long nightmare, it was hard for Cloud to determine if it was real when it seemed he finally felt warm breath on his shoulder. He froze. Was it possible? Was Sephiroth really . . .

The lower wings weakly twitched. A reflex? Just spasms from rigor mortis? No . . . they were swishing on the quilt.

Zack had felt it too, from the upper wing. He perked up, fragile hope in his eyes that he couldn't bear to see shattered. "Seph? Seph, is it really you?!"

Sephiroth weakly opened his eyes, smiling as he hugged Cloud close and reached up to pull Zack into the embrace as well.

Cloud looked at him in awe, barely able to believe their miracle was really real. "Sephiroth . . ."

Zack dove into the hug, clutching Sephiroth close to his heart. "Seph! Oh Seph. . . ."

Sephiroth held them both close to him. ". . . Knocked unconscious three times in two weeks," he muttered. "That's a terrible track record."

"It was worse than being knocked unconscious!" Zack exclaimed.

Sephiroth just hugged them more. "I know," he said. "I'm sorry for what I've put you through."

"You came back," Cloud said, finally finding his voice. "You really came back. . . ."

"How are we even here?" Sephiroth wondered. "It didn't look like anyone would find us."

"I woke up okay because you kept me warm," Cloud said. "Somehow I . . . I teleported us out."

Sephiroth looked at him, stunned. The words from the impression he had felt as the answer to his prayer came back to him powerfully.

Keep Cloud warm as best as you can. It will save both your lives.

"You saved us, Cloud," he said. "There would have been no hope if we had stayed out in the snow."

"There was almost no hope now," Cloud rasped. "You almost didn't make it back. . . ."

"But I did, thanks to both of you," Sephiroth said.

"Cloud, really," Zack said somberly. "Even when it looked like there was no hope left, he wouldn't let you go. I . . . I was so afraid you were gone, Seph. . . . And I couldn't bear for Cloud to keep trying if there was no hope. . . . I tried to get him to stop."

Sephiroth pulled him close. "It's alright, Zack. I understand. I would have told you the same thing if we were trying and failing to revive someone."

"Yeah. . . . I was . . . trying to be you, I guess," Zack said. "The responsible adult. . . . Just like you taught me."

Something in the way he said it perked Sephiroth up in hopeful amazement. "You remember?"

Zack nodded. "Everything. It started when I saw that witch hit you, and then when you teleported out with Cloud to save him and we couldn't find you guys anywhere. . . . Everything just came rushing back."

"Then . . ." A shadow passed through Sephiroth's eyes. "You remember what happened to you. . . ."

"Seph, I don't blame you," Zack said. "I never did. I never could! If anything, I . . ." He swallowed hard. "I blamed myself for not being enough to get through to you."

Sephiroth looked at him in sorrowed shock. "You were enough, Zack. But what horrifies me is that it took you falling to snap me out of it. If I'd only listened to you in the first place . . . ! I found a better way to deal with the Heartless, but only after you were lost."

"Yeah. . . . You can control them now, huh?" Zack said with a shaky smile.

"Yes. They'll never be able to take over our world again." Sephiroth held Zack close and looked back to Cloud, who had been quiet to let them talk.

Cloud shook his head. "I . . . I just don't know what to say," he admitted. "I'm still afraid this isn't real, that I'll wake up and find this is a dream and you're gone. . . ."

"It doesn't entirely feel real to me either," Sephiroth remarked. "We're both alive and safe, Zack remembers. . . . He's forgiven me. . . ."

"And there's no more creepy bad guys! Or bad girls!" Zack said. "We're safe now, Seph. We can just be happy."

"It's happiness I never thought I would have again," Sephiroth said quietly. "Or at all, in our case." He smirked a bit at Cloud.

"I never thought it either," Cloud said. "But now, all I want is for us to be a family together." He blushed a bit. He was pretty sure Sephiroth would like that idea, but there was still that lingering awkwardness to be so open about it.

Sephiroth looked surprised. But then he smiled, definitely happy. "I would like that, Cloud," he said. "I would like it very much."

Zack nodded eagerly. "And me and Seph talked about it before all this craziness went down today. We'd like you to come live with us!"

Now Cloud was surprised. "Huh?"

"Unless you like living all alone with furniture badly in need of repair," Sephiroth smirked a bit.

"I . . ." Overwhelmed and humbled, Cloud just stared at him. "You'd really want me there?"

"Now that we've come so far, yes," Sephiroth said. "Both Zack and I want you with us."

"Then . . ." Cloud nodded. "Yes," he said. "Yes, I want to be with you. Both of you."

Zack grinned. "Group hug!" He pulled Cloud and Sephiroth close and they reciprocated, all happy and joyful in the new beginning they were making.

In the doorway, Merlin smiled happily. "Oh, thank goodness," he uttered. "No . . . thank God."

And everyone in the room quite agreed.

xxxx

Cloud stirred sometime later, blinking sleepy eyes at the room as the fire continued to peacefully crackle. Sephiroth was asleep on the quilt next to him, wings twitching as he dreamed. Zack had flopped near them, sleeping as well. Instead of the anguish and hopelessness of before, there was only peace and happiness now.

"Strange, isn't it."

Cloud started. Sephiroth had propped up on one elbow, looking at him.

"Yeah," Cloud said. "It sounds really cheesy, but . . . it's like a fairy tale. Happily ever after. Only it's not an ending at all; it's a beginning."

"And it won't be smooth sailing all the way along," Sephiroth grunted. "But yes. It is like a fairy tale."

"Sephiroth . . ." Cloud hesitated. "Why did you decide to try to help me? I mean, I'm guessing you didn't love me right at the start."

Sephiroth fell silent. ". . . It was partially for Zack," he said. "I knew you were Zack's friend. He'd been so worried about you as you fell into the darkness. I couldn't save Zack, but . . . I hoped perhaps I could help his friend. I saw myself in you as I had started to fall to the darkness. Then, as time went on and I came to care about you, I wanted to help you more for your own sake than anything else."

Cloud sighed. "I wish I'd realized. I was so stupid. . . ."

"Now I would like to ask, Cloud. Why on Earth did you think I was literally your darkness?"

Cloud went red. "It sounds so stupid now," he said. "I used to pretend I had a heart strong enough to make real people. When you showed up out of nowhere and you were the hero everyone loved, I pretended I'd created you as the light in my heart. But when Zack fell, I . . . twisted that and decided you were my darkness instead. And I really believed it." He stared at the floor.

Sephiroth was silent. "Well. I must admit, that isn't the explanation I thought I would hear."

Cloud slowly looked up. "You're not going to tell me how stupid it is?"

Sephiroth smirked at him. "Do I need to?"

Cloud flushed. "No."

"And I suppose I have to take some blame for not always refuting your thoughts," Sephiroth said. "I thought if I used reverse psychology, you would quickly come to see it was asinine." He sighed and shook his head. "My approach was all wrong for you."

"No, Sephiroth." Cloud leaned forward to look into the older man's eyes. "I know I wasn't so teachable for a long time, but you really did start making a dent in my stubborn, stupid attitude. You always told me what I needed to hear, even when I didn't want to accept it."

Sephiroth looked pleased. "I never thought you'd say that, Cloud."

"Yeah, well . . . I've done a lot of growing up," Cloud said.

"I can see that," Sephiroth said.

". . . I'll still get mad sometimes, though," Cloud said. "You're sure you want me at your house?"

"Are you sure you can deal with feathers in the couch?" Sephiroth replied. "And everywhere else?"

"It means you're alive, so yeah," Cloud said. "That's all I care about."

Sephiroth smiled.

". . . Weird remembering back when the Evil Queen hurt you and I couldn't even accept I cared about you," Cloud said. "Now I know it and I'll never deny it again."

"That's far more than I ever thought was possible," Sephiroth said. "Strange that she set so much in motion that ended up being for our good."

"Heh. Maybe you should tell her now that she's safely behind bars," Cloud smirked.

"Maybe I'll do that," Sephiroth said with a wicked smirk. Sobering, he added, "I should see Sun too. Do you want to come when I do?"

Cloud shrugged. "She's nuts about you, not me."

"I seem to recall that she said she'd like you too if you came to understand my motivations regarding you," Sephiroth said.

". . . Yeah," Cloud said slowly.

"So she might like to see you as well," Sephiroth said.

"Maybe I'll come," Cloud said noncommittally.

"I suppose we'll see," Sephiroth said. "I might go tomorrow if I feel up to it. . . . Maybe the day after tomorrow."

"At least give yourself one day to rest up," Cloud said.

"That would likely be wise," Sephiroth conceded. He settled back in the quilts. "I'm going to try to sleep some more. You probably should too, Cloud. You've been running yourself ragged despite the fact that you were suffering from the cold as well."

"Yeah, I guess. I really felt pretty good after you helped me," Cloud said. But he was aching and sleep sounded good. He laid down too.

"I'm sure you need to rest better by now," Sephiroth said.

"Probably right," Cloud said. He yawned, already starting to doze.

Sephiroth regarded him in amusement. Covering him with part of the quilt, Sephiroth relaxed into the covers and soon was sound asleep.