song: Without You, Usine Vulpine & Annaca

Rachel supposed none of their friends really knew what to say.

After they found out about the significant change to the timeline and how it would soon affect them all, no one was in a good mood and no one knew what to do or say to make it all better. No one had any idea how to fix it.

In the end, they all went home to lick their wounds, to take some time off, to be ok again – if that was even possible. Caitlin and Killer Frost were still recovering from the loss of their father, but in the same time they got closer with their mother, so one could say they were doing quite alright. Cisco and Gypsy had a pretty good life already established - it worked and they were happy. Ralph came back to his detective office since he realized that it was, indeed, his true calling, though he was also moonlighting as a superhero. Joe and Cecile enjoyed their time with their new born.

Rachel and Barry… they needed to find a way to go on, still hoping that maybe they could change something, that future – for the sheer fact that it was the future – could still somehow be altered.

To be honest, Rachel had no more tears left in her and she didn't want to spend all the time she had left with Barry, crying. Instead, once home, she just walked into his arms and clang to him, holding on till she still could. Things escalated as they started kissing, his shirt making its way to the floor, baring his chest, her own following and they fell into bed. She ran her hands over his back, enjoying the smooth texture of the hard muscles and the skin there as he was kissing her neck, then coming back to her lips; her legs opening and him finding his home within her body. Their love making was desperate and urgent. She never wanted to let go of him. She wanted to keep him, to allow him as deep as possible, to keep them in this bubble, to freeze time in order to never have to face any Crisis or to simply skip to the future once it was already over. And she wanted him there with her.

Because there was no future for her without Barry Allen. Not anymore.

Barry woke up with new hope in his heart as he told Rachel that he didn't just want to accept what would happen. He wanted to see it for himself and he was determined to find a way to survive. At this point, she truly wasn't sure which option was better for her – allowing this hope to affect her or prepare herself for the worst and to try and accept it as not to go crazy. Somehow, it seemed like ever since she'd laid her eyes on Barry for the very first time, ever since she'd touched him – a simple handshake – she'd been dealing with this ever-coming vision of him dying and it'd led them right to this point. This was it. And she needed to be strong. She'd already tried pushing him away and not caring and that hadn't worked. All she could do in the end was to have faith in the best outcome possible and in the life after Crisis. Because no matter what happened, she was going to be the one left standing and she needed to handle it somehow.

She left Barry to do whatever he needed to do, then ignored a call from her agent (she didn't have the head at the moment for a new book idea anyway) and headed to S.T.A.R. Labs where… she saw Frost and not Caitlin.

She'd never really spent any quality time with Caitlin's other self, especially that she wasn't a superhero fighting crime alongside her.

"Frost, hi," she simply said in greeting.

"You're totally wondering what I'm doing here when there isn't any crisis… oh, shoot… chose a really not cool word… I'll improve!" The woman promised.

"No, it's fine. It's ok," Rachel assured her. "How… have you been doing?" she followed up with a question then.

"I realize we haven't spent all that much time together," Frost picked up on Rachel's intention, "but we can change it. Cait temporarily gave me the wheel because I really wanted to try this… you know, life." She shrugged.

"Interesting. How's been going so far?" Rachel grabbed a seat next to her, actually curious.

"Awesome… and some other times real confusing… I gotta get the hang of it, but I'm liking discovering it, you know? And one of Caitlin's best friends… noooowww…" she suddenly added when pointing her finger at Rachel. "Because before you were more than that."

"Um…" Rachel cleared her throat. "That was… a long time ago."

"Oh, sure. And you're Mrs. Flash now! I mean soon to be anyway."

"Um, no, not really. I'm still just myself. My own person."

"Noted!" Frost nodded, clearly really figuring out the whole life thing.

"Caity has all your books. She made me read them. I mean… I had no choice but to read them, kinda…"

"Um… was it really that bad?" Rachel asked, a bit scared of the answer, really hoping next time she would manage to skip the 'um'.

"They had pretty sappy moments, but in overall, I guess they were well-written."

"Ok, then. Thank you… I guess."

"I had a ridiculous talk with Frost today…" Rachel started as soon as she entered hers and Barry's apartment, noticing him on the couch, "but I actually quite like her. Cait decided to give her the… wheel," she finished after a pause since Barry did not look good. "Barry, honey? Are you ok?"

"No. Actually, I'm not," he confessed, looking quite exhausted when lying on the couch and staring into the distance as though he saw something there that she couldn't. "Actually, nothing is ok."

"Talk to me," she encouraged, sitting on the edge and placing her hand on his thigh. "What happened? What did you see in the future?"

"The thing is… I couldn't really speed there. There's a wave of antimatter preventing me to go to the world post-Crisis."

"Okaaaay," she said slowly, "but then, there's still…"

"No," he interrupted immediately, finally meeting her eyes, but his own looked so dead at the moment that she really started to feel scared. "There isn't a way. After that I actually went to see Jay Garrick and he managed to send my mind alone into the future. I saw… billions of possible futures, Rachel and the only one when you all survived… was the one in which I died."

Silence fell like a guillotine.

"I am destined to die in a wave of antimatter, saving you all. I saw it. That was the vision you saw, too. It fits perfectly with what you described to me. You saw my death from the very beginning."

"Barry…"

"I'm sorry, but there's no way to stop this. If I don't die, everyone I care about, everyone I love… they'll be dead. Including you. And I could never make that choice. I could never put my life in front of all of my family."

That was it. Here was when she made a choice. Either she sobbed and lamented and begged and be angry or… she would try to actually accept this. "I will be strong for you," the words left her mouth in that moment, spoken in confidence, though shaky all the same. "I won't miss a second. I'm with you till the end, Barry. That's exactly what I was going to promise to you on our wedding day. That's also what I said 'yes' to when you asked me to marry you. And it's all because that's the least you deserve."

He had no words left to say. He was too drained. All he could do was to pull her close and just lay there, cuddling with her, his heart beating way too fast as he was absolutely terrified and not ready for what was coming.

If the talk with Rachel was difficult, telling the whole team, including his adoptive father was even worse. There were all in panic and already on the verge of grieving. And they all protested.

"It's the only way!" Barry needed to finally raise his voice. "I need you all not to try and save me."

"How do you expect me not to try to save my best friend?!" Cisco yelled when standing up. "This is… this is crazy… you can't just die!"

"Yes! Yes, I can and I will if I have to. I will if it means saving all of you!"

"Rachel, do you have anything to say to this?" Cisco turned to her to her astonishment.

"Please… please, just don't," Barry asked him, rising his hand. "She's been through enough. And she will still need to go through more."

"I've seen this since the moment I met Barry," Rachel said, her voice sounding dead. She felt kind of numb, forcing herself to be ok for her fiancé, though it was all killing her on the inside, therefore the best way to deal with it was to pretend those emotions just weren't there. Which also wasn't good, but she didn't have the energy to care at the moment. "I've also been terrified of this ever since. Especially when I knew I already had feelings for him… So of course I want to save him," she turned to Cisco, "I just don't know how."

Rachel was doing quite alright. She really was. She was being strong and spending all the time with Barry that she could. He even supersped them away to a few beaches where they had the best time ever, forgetting, if only for just a moment, what was really at stake and just having a romantic time together.

Then again, every kiss, every touch, every time he moved deeply inside of her… it was all fleeting. Every single one of those times could as well be the very last one and… she didn't know how to even comprehend it, her emotions sometimes just hitting a brick wall as they turned off in self-preservation.

Right up till she almost walked on Barry and Cisco's conversation.

The news about what had to happen was hard on everyone, but somehow Cisco took it the worst just because he refused to accept it.

"You think this is easy, Cisco?!" Rachel nearly jumped when Barry suddenly erupted, clearly losing his patience or just having had enough, finally brought to a breaking point. "I am finally living for myself with no burden of the past weighting me down! I have finally started looking forward to the future! To marrying the woman I love and to one day welcoming little Nora to this world and… this just won't happen for me. It cannot happen because otherwise everyone I care about will die!"

Rachel wasn't sure what actually did it. Maybe it was her emotions finally getting the best of her, maybe it was the Crisis that was basically already here, just hours separating them from it, if not less; or maybe it was witnessing Barry react like this. Or all of that together. Either way, she got so overwhelmed that she turned around and started running, heart hammering in her chest, her whole world spinning as she got very dizzy and seemed not to be able to catch any air no matter how hard she tried.

She knew she was having a panic attack, yet couldn't really do anything to prevent or to stop it. In the end, she found herself in an abandoned lab and just slid down against the wall straight to the floor, hugging her knees and wheezing.

"Don't worry," she suddenly heard a voice and she startled, immediately looking in that direction.

Harrison Wells came out of the shadows.

"It's ok," he immediately followed with, making another step forward. "I am not Eobard Thawne."

"I… I can tell," she found herself saying through her tears. She didn't know what it was, but she could tell with certainty that he wasn't Thawne nor Harry. This was a different Wells, a stranger and yet, his energy didn't seem threatening at all. It felt… welcome. Helpful.

"I'm only here to tell you that everything will be alright," he informed in the same pleasant tone of voice. "Don't waste your tears, Rachel. Trust me on this."

She frowned, still frozen in place, her cheeks wet.

"Who are you?" she needed to ask.

"You'll find out. In the right time. Some day."

"But why…?" she started and in that very moment they heard voices. Someone was clearly looking for her.

He simply raised his hand, snapped his fingers and… disappeared into thin air, leaving a sparkle of green particles in his wake and even more shocked Rachel.

Don't waste your tears… Did that mean that Barry was not going to die, after all?

Still, she didn't have time to think about it since something else happened.

There was a weird distant noise like a far away lightning, though it still sounded off somehow, like it wasn't a lightning at all and then…

"Rachel?! Rachel!" she heard Barry calling her name as he was clearly the one looking for her.

"Here!" She came out of her hiding spot quickly, wiping her tears, though she could tell he saw them anyway. She needed to be there for him and not break down now. Especially when they were so, so close to the event itself. She should also keep in mind the strange occurrence she'd just witnessed with a person of Harrison Wells, none whom she'd so far met.

"The sky…" she gasped as Barry grasped her hand and led her to the lounge.

Yes, the sky was red. The Crisis had officially started.

"We also have some bad news…"

"What is it?" She looked around in panic as Barry's voice trailed off and she could clearly see that Caitlin – apparently back in charge for the occasion – and Cisco seemed to be beyond distraught.

"It's Earth 2…" Cisco finally revealed, wiping tears from his face. "It's gone."

"What?!" Rachel gasped, feeling like she again had no air to breath, her insides squeezing at the unexpected news. Barry dying – that was expected, though unbelievably painful, but Earth 2 being just… gone? Harry, Jesse… "Oh, god…" She nearly bent in half as Barry held her.

"It was swallowed by a wave of antimatter," he informed. "And we're next."