Chapter 19: Club Lincoln

I'm back! Now I'm doing a parody of Club Spongebob. Enjoy!

Lincoln and Clyde are chillaxing in their new treehouse. Lincoln came up with the idea to make one for him and his friends to hang out. It was basically his own club. Lori came outside to go on a bike ride. She rode her bike past the tree. Lincoln and Clyde saw her.

"Wait wook! It's Wori!" Lincoln announced. He and Clyde made up a new way of communicating.

Lori heard this. "What?"

The boys laughed.

"Wori's woing to work!" Lincoln stated.

"Where does she work?" Clyde asked. "Wat Wus' Wames And Wub?"

The boys laughed more. Lori became annoyed. She walked up to the tree.

"What's that supposed to be? Some sort of stupid secret code?"

"We can't tell you cause you're not a member of the club." Lincoln said.

"Well what does it take to be a member?" Lori asked. "Besides being a twerp."

She laughs. "Twerp. As a requirement."

"Sorry Lori, but you couldn't get in even if you tried." Lincoln stated.

"Well, I'll have you know that I'm a member of twenty different exclusive clubs in town." Lori stated.

"What did she say?" Clyde asked.

"I don't know." Lincoln said. "Something about her phone."

Lori, you and your phone will definitely not fit in." Clyde said.

"Oh, what do you zeros know about fitting in? You should be literally begging me to join." Lori began to climb up the tree but Lincoln and Clyde told her she couldn't fit in. She made it to the top and made her way through their little window. There was barely any room in the house.

"Well this is stupid." Lori said. "There's no room up here."

"That's what we've been trying to tell you." Clyde explained.

"We've been stuck up here for three days." Lincoln said.

"We told you that you wouldn't fit in."

Lori frowned.

"Well now that you're here, we'll give you the new member initiation." Lincoln suggested. "Ready Clyde?"

"Ready."

The two boys began to sing. "Welcome to our club. Welcome to our club. Welcome Lori! Welcome Lori! Welcome Lori! Welcome Lori! Welcome Lori!"

Lori covered their mouths. "Shut your half wit pie holes!"

Lori crawled out the window and found a tree vine. She used it to climb down. "I will not now nor will I ever want to be a member of your stupid club!"

As Lori was going down, the tree bended down. She got to the bottom but the vine broke, sending the treehouse flying off into the sky. Lori screamed as they flew off into a forest. A couple saw the treehouse and mistaken it for a shooting star.

"Make a wish honey." Said the male guy.

They landed somewhere in the forest. Lincoln and Clyde got up and cheered.

"Whoo! That was awesome!" They both said in unison.

"Oh no! That didn't just happen!" Lori panicked. "Please tell me that didn't happen!"

"What happened?" Clyde asked Lincoln but he shrugged in response.

Lori ran in a circle panicking. "Where are we? We're lost! There's no way out!" She stopped running. "Stuck in the middle of nowhere with my brother and Clyde. Why do bad things happen to me? Why?!"

"Cheer up Lori. It could be worse." Lincoln stated.

"Yeah, you could have no cellphone connection." Clyde mentioned.

Lori checked her phone but couldn't get a connection. "Well, this is the end."

"No it's not Lori." Lincoln said.

Clyde was building coffins. "It's not?"

"Come on guys, we're gonna be fine." Lincoln said trying to lighten the mood. "As long as we stick together. Remember we're a club."

Lincoln and Clyde did their victory cheer .

"And besides, we have this!" Lincoln pulled out some kind of toy.

"What's that?" Lori asked.

"The talking Ace Savvy magic Ace ball!" Clyde said. "Ask it something! Ask it something!"

"Magic Ace ball, will I ever get married?" Lincoln asked. He shook the ball.

"Maybe someday." It said in Ace Savvy's voice.

"You've literally gotta be kidding?" Lori complained. "That is just a stupid toy! How can that possibly help us?"

Lincoln gasped. "Lori, we must never question the wisdom of the magic Ace ball. The club always takes its advice before we do anything."

"The ball knows all." Clyde stated.

"Oh Magic Ace ball, what should we do to get out of the forest?" Lincoln asked and shook the ball.

"Nothing." It said.

"The shell has spoken." Clyde said.

"Nothing?" Lori questioned. "We can't just sit here and do nothing!"

That's exactly what Lincoln and Clyde did right now. Lori growled.

"I can't believe you two are gonna take advice from a toy." They still did nothing. Lori was annoyed. "Alright, I don't need your help. I am gonna find my own way back to sanity."

Lori went off in a direction. "But don't you two sad clowns come crying to me when your circus tent comes crashing down." Lori laughed. "Sad clowns."

Lori is then panicking as she runs through the forest. "What was that? I was already here! Which way do I go?! I'm lost!" She trips over a rock. "Oh, I'm hopelessly lost! I'll never get out of here!"

Lori then saw a way out. She ran for it and came out of the darkness.

"I'm free! Take that Lincoln and Clyde! Yes!" She then saw the two boys still sitting there in the same spot doing nothing and realized she was back to where they ended up in the first place. Lori gave up. "Oh, there's no way outta here."

A few days later, Lincoln and Clyde were still doing nothing. A stick is thrown at Clyde but he remains still. Lori has built a little tent and campfire. She is also wearing a straw hat.

"How's it going at Club Dorky brains?" Lori taunted. "Boy, am I hungry. I wonder what's on the menu for Club Lori tonight."

Lori sees a bug and steps on it. She takes it off her shoe and puts it in a pan she is using to cook up her food with the fire. She goes over to the boys.

"Doesn't that smell good Lincoln?" Lori waved the "food" in his face. "You haven't eaten in days. What about you Clyde? A big boy's gotta eat. Well you can't have any. And do you know why Lincoln? Because your club president is a magic 8 ball. If you would've listened to me, you would've had food, shelter, and a roaring fire." She shakes her butt in Lincoln's face as a way of mocking him. "But instead you listened to a useless toy.

She went back to her fire. "That tells you nothing! As if the answers to all your questions will fall right out of the sky!" She laughs. "Fall right out of the sky!"

Just then, an airplane was seen in the sky. Inside was the pilot and another guy.

"Dude, we're falling right out of the sky!" Said the pilot. "We gotta drop the load!"

They drop the load. On the side of the plane read "Picnic Supply Inc." All the picnic supplies fall out from the back of the plane. They land in the forest where the boys are sitting. They land perfectly and it even includes a campfire. Lincoln and Clyde cheered.

"Praise the magic Ace ball!"

Lori saw the whole thing and was speechless. The bug wakes up and hits her in the face with a stick before hopping off. Lincoln and Clyde stuff their faces with food. Lori comes over.

"Hey bro, that sure is a lot of food you got there."

"It's a gift from Ace." Lincoln said.

"Everything sure looks delicious." Lori pointed out. "Oh tacos! My favorite! Hey Lincoln, you know I was j-just kidding around earlier a-and I'm still part of the club, r-right? A-and after all the club's gotta stick together and I-I-I mean-"

"Lori?"

"Yes?"

"Once a member, always a member." Lincoln said.

"To the club!" Lincoln and Clyde made a toast and did their weird club cheer.

Lori attempted to do it too. "Yeah, now if you'll excuse me-"

Lori went over to the food. "Oh boy. What should I eat first? The spaghetti. The turkey. The soup. The pizza."

"Why don't you ask the magic Ace ball Lori?"

"Yeah right. Right after I consult the magic undies."

Lori is about to dig in but Lincoln and Clyde move the table away from her.

"Lori, are you questioning the authority of the magic Ace ball?" Lincoln said. "The ball is one who gave us this banquet. This copyrighted ball is the quarterstone of our organization."

"Maybe she's not a brother." Clyde said.

"Hey, you guys have it all wrong." Lori said. "I love this piece of plastic." She takes it. "Um Magic Ace ball, should I have the spaghetti or the turkey?"

"Neither."

"Oh. Then how bout the soup?"

"I don't think so."

"Can I have anything to eat?"

"No."

"No?! Whatdya mean no? I'm starving here!"

"Here. Let me try." Clyde took the ball. "Magic Ace ball, could Lori have some off this meatball sub?"

"No.

"Could I have some of this meatball sub?"

"Yes."

"Alright! Sorry Lori."

Lori took the toy away from Clyde. "Give me that. Can I have something to eat?"

"No."

"Can I have something to eat?"

"No."

"Can I have something to eat?"

"No."

"Can't you say literally anything but no?"

"Try asking again."

"Can I have something to eat?"

"No."

The blonde was now fuming. She began to go crazy.

"Lori, are you ok?" Lincoln asked.

"Maybe we should ask the ball if she's ok." Clyde suggested.

Just then, someone's voice was heard. "Hello? Anyone there? Hello?"

A sword cut through the bushes. It is revealed the person was a ranger. He gasped when he saw the three kids in a filthy condition.

"Do you folks need help?" He asked.

"I'm saved!" Lori said happily. She ran up to the ranger. "Oh you don't know how happy I am to see you. I have been literally stranded out here with these two twerps and their magic Ace Savvy ball!"

"Magic Ace ball?" The ranger questioned before revealing he has one too. "You mean like this?"

"The Magic Ace Savvy ball! A club member!" Lincoln and Clyde said happily.

The ranger did the same cheer Lincoln and Cylde did. The boys joined him.

Lori was stunned. "Kill me."

"My conch told me to come save you guys." The ranger explained.

"Hooray for the magic conches!" The three boys cheered.

"Alright Magic Ace ball, what do we do now?" The ranger asked before shaking it.

"Nothing."

"All hail the magic Ace ball!" The boys shouted.

Lori, who was desperate, had no choice but to join the boys. "All hail the magic Ace ball!"

Epilogue

It has been days since the Loud family has seen Lincoln and Lori. They were really worried now.

"Where could Lori and Lincoln be?" Rita wondered as she paced the living room. Her husband and the other kids were gathered on the couch. "I sent a ranger to go look for them."

"I hope nothing bad to them." Leni said worried.

Lynn Sr. comforted her. "I'm sure they're fine wherever they are. Let's hope they're somewhere safe."

Just then, they hear a helicopter outside. They all rush out to see on land near their house. Lori, Lincoln, and Clyde come out.

"They're here!" Rita cheered. "My babies!"

The kids and Lynn Sr. all ran to hug them.

"Where have you dudes been?" Luna asked. "And why do you so dirty?"

Lori sighed. "It's a long story."