Ch 109: The Clone House
Here's a parody of the episode: Squid Wood. Requested by PeruAlonso
It's a Saturday morning. In the twins' room, Lola is waking up as she takes off her sleeping mask. Then she noticed Lincoln standing next to her. "Morning, Lola. I waited for you to stop sleeping like you asked. So, you up for some morning gaming, Lola?"
The white haired boy is thrown out of the room. "No! And give a woman some privacy!" The pageant girl said angrily before slamming the door.
Lori is at home for the weekend and is in her room, texting Bobby. She sends "do u think I could be a blindfolded golfer?". She gets a text from her brother instead. It reads "Hey Lori, wanna play with my drone?"
Lori, annoyed, texts him back, sending him "No. Leave me alone."
However, Bobby read the last message and thought Lori had sent it to him so he sent her "Was it something I said?"
In the hallway, Lily is in front of a canvas, ready to paint. "Awtwist Wiwy, weady to cweate."
Right before she begins to paint, Lincoln's face appears through the canvas. "Hey Lily, wanna see some magic tricks?" He held out his deck of cards, but Lily painted a giant red "NO" over his face.
Lincoln went to Luna and Luan's room where Luna was jamming out. He held out a CD album. "Hey Luna, wanna listen to some SMOOCH songs with me?"
"Sorry dude, I like rock and roll, but their singing is so off key! I mean, can you imagine me singing like that?" Luna goes back to playing guitar and singing off key. Lincoln frowned at this.
Next, he called Lynn, who was exercising in the basement as she was lifting a big barbell. Then her phone rang. She threw the barbell off and answered her phone.
"Hey Lynn, how about a game of Hangman?"
"How about a game of "Hang up"?" Lynn rudely replied before hanging up.
In Lisa and Lily's room, the young genius was working on a new invention when Lincoln barged in, holding a comic.
"Hey Lisa, want to read an Ace Savvy comic with me?"
"Not now, elder brother, I'm busy."
"But this issue features the Full House gang."
"Lincoln, what I'm working on is more important than some trivial comic."
Lincoln notices Lisa's invention, which looked like a fridge/microwave. "What is it?"
"May I present to you: the iClone 8000. It's a clone/DNA machine. With this baby, you can make exact copies of anyone and anything. Allow me to demonstrate." Lisa took some cotton from Lily's teddy bear and inserted it into the machine, then pressed a button to start the duplication. After a few minutes, there was a ding, meaning it was done. Lisa opened the door to reveal another teddy bear. "Eureka! Another teddy bear. Fascinating, huh?"
"Yeah, Lisa. Thanks for showing me that." Lincoln said, and left the room a bit depressed.
"Now to add those finishing touches." Lisa got back to work.
"It seems none of my sisters want to do the things I like." Lincoln said to himself. "Of course, this has happened before. (Changing the Baby) If only I had a new batch of sisters who like the same things I like." Lincoln then remembered something. "That's it! Lisa's cloning machine! I bet if I could get a strand of each sister's hair, I could make clones of them. But how?" Lincoln thought for a minute.
Cut to Lincoln setting a tray of warm pastries at the bottom of the stairs. Then he got a fan and used it to send the smell upstairs. His sisters caught the scent and rushed to the stairs.
"Pastries!" They dove into the desserts like wild animals. Then Lincoln went in, carefully getting a strand of each sister's hair without them noticing. After that, he ran up to Lisa's room and made sure he got ten strands of hair. "Yes, ten strands of hair!"
Then he remembered something. "Oh, and I'll have to mix it with my DNA." Lincoln used scissors to cut off a small tuft of his hair. "Now to see if this works." He put them into the cloning machine and started the machine. After a moment, there was a big boom that shook the house. The sisters wondered what happened.
"That came from me and Lily's room!" Lisa stated.
In the two youngest siblings' room, Lincoln had been blown back from the explosion. He groaned and looked up. To his surprise, there were ten girls in front of him, and they all had white hair like him.
"Hi there!" Clone Leni greeted him.
"No way." Lincoln said, stunned. The explosion had damaged the cloning machine too. That's when the real sisters showed up.
"What in Einstein's name have you done?!" Lisa exclaimed.
"Wow. I didn't know we had cousins that look like us." Leni said.
"They're clones, Leni." Lisa stated.
"You made clones of us?!" Lori exclaimed.
"How was this possible?!" Lana exclaimed.
Lincoln explained. "I may have got some of your hair DNA when you weren't looking, then mixed it with mine and now I've created a new batch of sisters, thanks to Lisa's cloning machine."
"And you destroyed it!" Lisa said angrily. "It was meant to create one clone at a time!"
"Well, you didn't mention that before." Lincoln pointed out. Lisa growled at him.
"Wait, we're your sisters?" Clone Lori questioned.
"Yeah." Lincoln said.
"Dude, are you trying to replace us?" Luna asked in shock. "We're your real sisters!"
"Yeah, what's your game Lincoln?" Lori asked.
"I wanted sisters who enjoy the same things as me." Lincoln stated.
"You mean like, reading comics?" Clone Leni said.
"And playing video games?" Clone Lana said.
"And doing magic tricks?" Clone Luan said.
"Yeah, things like that." Lincoln said.
The other sisters were appalled by this.
"But Lincoln, we-" Luan started to say, but Lori interrupted her by covering her mouth.
"Fine, go have fun with your new sisters! See if we care!"
The sisters angrily marched off, and Lily blew a raspberry at Lincoln. Then Lisa came back. "This is my room. Get out."
"Gladly. Come on, new sisters." Lincoln led them out of the room.
Now Lincoln and his new sisters are reading Ace Savvy comics outside. The one Lincoln made that featured the Full House gang. (Pulp Friction)
"Wow. So these butt kicking ladies are based on us?" Clone Lola asked in admiration.
"That's right."
"So awesome." Clone Lynn commented.
Then Clyde came over. "Hey guys. You girls look a little different. Have you been working out?"
"Actually Clyde, these are-"
"I'm just kidding. You guys dyed your hair white."
"Eh, close enough." Lucy said.
At Lynn's Table, the real sisters are helping their father out in the restaurant. Luan is serving lasagnas to two elderly citizens, Scoots and Bernie. And Luan being Luan, decided to tell a joke to them. "Alright now, who has the lasagna and who has the Lynn-sagna?" The customers are silent and look irritated. "Get it? Because they're...both...lasagnas."
Then Lincoln and the clone sisters walk in. "Good one, Clone Luan! You are always a riot! Are you guys ready to help out Dad?"
"Of course, bro." Clone Luna said. "We love helping Pops out!"
"Who are those young white haired ladies with Lincoln?" Scoots wondered.
"I don't know, but aren't they pretty?" Bernie commented.
"Yeah, they are."
Lori walked by mumbling.
"Ahem." Scoots said, getting Lori's attention.
"Oh, sorry, ma'am. Can I take your order?"
"No. I don't like your attitude, bub. Is this what Lynn's Table calls friendly service?"
Then Clone Lori suddenly dashed over. "Sorry, ma'am. Can I take your order?"
"Now that's more like it. Finally, a server with a good attitude."
"Well, thank you very much."
"I'll take a platter of your finest Lynn-sagna, please. But don't let Miss Sourpuss over here touch them. She might taint the dish."
"Fine then. Do my work for me." Lori handed Clone Lori her pencil and pad of paper and walked away. "I'm starting to like this Clone Lori doing my work, dealing with these customers. I could get used to this."
The other real sisters were seated at a table.
"The other clones have our positions too." Lucy said.
"Now we can just sit back and relax." Lynn said.
In the kitchen, Lynn Sr. had just finished the order. "Order up, Clone Luan."
"Okay Dad. Always happy to help." Luan laughed. She was handed two plates with lasagna.
"Go get em' tiger." Lincoln supported her.
The clone comedian walked over to the customers. "Okay, now, who had the lasagna, and who had the Lynn-sagna?"
Both customers laughed. However, the real Luan got alarmed and irritated. "What the-?! That's my joke!"
"Wow, Bernie, this new Luan is such a card!" Scoots commented.
"And a great waiter too." Bernie commented.
"Yeah. You're right." Scoots glared at the real Luan. "So much better than that old, lousy, brunette haired Luan!"
Luan mumbles angrily.
"Yeah! Bring that white haired fella over here and let me give her a $300 dollar tip!" Bernie showed $300.
"What?! All right, all right!" Luan has Clone Luan back off. "That's enough! My break is finished."
Luan walked back to the kitchen. "Oh boy! Back to work!"
"Hold on a second, there." Lynn Sr. said.
"What's up, Dad?"
"Uh...Luan, sweetie, I'm sorry to tell you this-but my customers prefer the new sisters over you guys. And she's making me more bucks! But don't worry, I'm changing your job to busboy, effective immediately." He handed Luan some dirty dishes. "You'll be working with Clone Lana."
Luan looked to see the clone mechanic/plumber washing dishes at a rapid pace. Meanwhile, Clone Lola is interacting with the customers.
"Hey, everybody! I'm Clone Lola and I love to dance."
"Did you say dance?" Clone Lynn said as she and the other sisters showed up. "Count us in!"
"I, for one, love to watch people dance while I eat." Said Mrs. Bernardo, the high school drama teacher. "Who's with me? Who wants the clone sisters to dance for our amusement?"
Everyone cheered.
"Well gosh, okay. Just let me change first." Lola quickly changed into an aerobics outfit. Then the clones started dancing when the music started. Some customers dance the same thing the clones are dancing.
"What's the big deal?" Lola said angrily.
"Those are all our moves!" Lynn said angrily. The real sisters dance the exact same moves but no one is impressed.
"Ta-da!"
A customer gasped. "Talk about no talent!"
"Maybe The Loud sisters should dye their hair white so they'll dance better!" Lindsey Sweetwater taunted. Everyone laughed.
"Those clones…" Lola growled.
"Hey, how about some disco music?" Clone Luna got out a radio. "I made my own track!"
Everyone cheered.
"Disco track?" Luna said, surprised. "I never thought of that."
The clone musician started the music. Suddenly, a disco ball appeared.
"Where'd that disco ball come from?" Leni wondered.
"I invented this disco ball that comes with lasers." Clone Lisa stated. "Pretty impressive, huh?"
"I never invented something like that." Lisa pouted.
Now all the Loud clones show off their dance moves, much to everyone's amazement.
"Everybody dance!" Clone Luna said. Everyone, except the real Loud sisters, dance. Then the music stopped and the clones took a bow.
"Boo! That was awful!" Lola yelled out. All cheer for the clone sisters and the real sisters began to fume as confetti cows came down and party horns sounded.
"They stole our talents!" Lori said angrily.
"They stole our jobs!" Luan said angrily
"They stole our standing ovations!" Lola roared angrily.
The original sisters confront the white haired sisters.
"You little fiends!" Lori said furiously. "Stop stealing our lives!"
The sisters began to attack the clones, and Lincoln was disturbed by the violent scene. Then an agent showed up.
"Stop, stop! Stop fighting, please! You don't know what you're doing. Are you all mad? Have mercy!"
"Wait a minute. I've seen you before." Luna said, realizing who the guy was. "You're that talent agent that represents my favorite musician."
"Salutations! I'm Milo J. Finker: manager for "Big Shot Studios."
"You mean you're here to sign us up for a talent gig?" Lola said excitedly, with the other real sisters excited as well.
"Not you ladies." The agent pointed at the white haired girls. "These white haired ladies. They are woo-hoo woo-hoo good! We're offering them a million dollar contract and a sequin suit."
Leni gasped. "A sequin suit? That's what you're supposed to offer me!"
"Why take a cheap knock off when you can have the original." Lori said.
The manager laughed. "Yeah right, kid. I already saw how talented these girls are." He turned to the white haired clones. "Alright, kids. Let's go become a sensation." The clones cheered. He turned to the original girls. "Oh, and I'll see you at the Grammy Awards...Oh wait, I guess I won't." He laughed, coughed, and left with the clones.
"I can't believe this!" Lynn complained. "It's like everybody prefers those clones over us!"
"Soon they'll forget about us!" Lana said, upset.
"Those clones have got to go! Permanently!" Lola said bitterly.
Lincoln felt a little guilty now, but then thought of something. "Lisa, do the clones have a weakness?"
"Anything fizzy. Why do you ask?"
"You'll see."
Outside, the clones were walking off with Milo Finker. Then Lincoln came out, carrying cans of soda. "Wait! Before you girls go, can I offer you some drinks?"
"Ooh! Soda!" Luna said. "Lay one on me, bro."
"Help yourselves."
The sisters all take a can and drink, but then they start to get a funny feeling. Their stomachs get bubbly and they start to melt.
"Huh? What's happening to us?!" Clone Lori asked.
"We're melting!" Clone Lisa exclaimed.
"Cwone Wiwy no likey!" Clone Lily whined.
"I wanted to melt the extra pounds, but not like this." Clone Luan said.
"NO!" Milk panicked. "My future sensations! Don't leave me!"
"Well, I guess we had a good run, girls." Clone Lori said.
"This is the end." Clone Lucy said as those were her last words before she completely melted, along with the other clones.
The Loud sisters rushed out when they saw this.
"Kid, what have you done?!" Milo said angrily to Lincoln.
"Lincoln, you got rid of the clone sisters!" Leni said. "But why?"
"Because they weren't my real sisters, you are. And no clone can ever replace you guys. I'm sorry."
"Aww, Lincoln!" The sisters were touched and hugged their brother.
"Ahem!" Milo got the kids' attention. "Would you kids like to earn a million dollars?"
"Can it, Finker!" Lynn snapped.
"We don't want your stinkin' money!" Lola barked.
"Or even your sequin suit!" Leni added.
"We just want to spend time with our brother!" Luna said proudly. The siblings walked back inside the restaurant, leaving the agent to lament to himself.
"Say Lincoln, why don't we do something we can all enjoy?" Lori said.
"Sounds like a plan." Lincoln said. "Oh, and I'm sorry I destroyed your invention, Lisa."
"It's alright. I can probably build another machine that only clones inanimate objects."
"I'm just glad we'll never have to see those clone sisters again." Lola said in satisfaction.
"Yeah, cause I'm thinking a clone of me would be better." Lincoln said.
Lisa laughed, then got serious. "No."