Chapter Three (Welcome to Duloc)
"There it is you guys. Duloc. A place where all fairytale creatures are not welcomed or wanted." said Donkey, feeling so sure and confident of himself.
Shrek and Jason walked out of the massive acres of corn to catch up with Donkey. Then the two looked at their destination that happens to be a massive large single building castle. In good honesty, neither Shrek nor Jason have any knowledge of Duloc ever existed until Donkey informed them about the place. On top of that, this is the very first time ever in their lives that they traveled out of their comfort swamp and the nearby village. Still, it was a great opportunity for the strange father and son duo to sightsee different places since it is the season of summer.
"Hmmm, Duloc. Huh, it looks like more of an isolated dictatorship castle than a monarchy castle. Are you sure he's a king and not a self-proclaimed dictator, Donkey?." said Jason, looking hard at the building.
"It's uh more of a self-proclaimed king with a dictatorship attitude. Yeah, that is some of the specific infamous personalities of Farquaad. Lord Farquaad I mean." said Donkey, eyeing the F symbol of the castle.
"Huh, do you two think he's compensating for something?." asked Shrek, joking with a chuckle.
Jason laughed at that joke, "Nah, I don't think so, Dad."
Donkey shook his head, "Uh, I don't get it. Is that some kind of joke, Shrek?."
Shrek dropped his laugh and sighed disappointedly at the animal. Unlike his son Jason, Shrek is starting to question how Donkey can talk real good and real clear without the need for intelligence. Because it is a well-known fact that you need some sort of knowledge to have the ability to talk and Shrek knows that from his former ogre mentor. Besides all of that, the ogre father had one important thing on his mind. Which is what got him and his son into this predicament.
"Why are we here again, Jason?.", Shrek looked at his son with a brow raised., "Was there a reason we're doing this?."
Jason folded his arms, "You want the full story or a summary, Dad?. The first option is pretty much longer."
"We have enough time to tell the full story. I mean, I'm pretty sure this Farquaad character isn't going anywhere or hosting a special tournament," said Shrek, grabbing a seat at the nearby picnic table.
Donkey jumped on the table and sat down to hear the story despite knowing how it all went down. Jason scratched the back of his head to relieve the itch and then removed his travel bookbag that is made of full crocodile skin, and then set it down to the ground before stretching.
"Oh, and make sure you play it out too, Jason.", Shrek smiled at the idea of his.
Jason smiled back at his dad since his old man has loved him to act and voice out when telling the story, as it is one of his best unique skills besides writing.
"Alright, you guys.", Jason relaxed his muscles., "Here it goes..."
(FlashBack)
Shrek woke up to find himself in his bed and all comfortable. He surveyed his bedroom to see that nothing is out of place before managing to calm down and relaxed peacefully. Then, suddenly he saw his door being opened, and in came Jason with a tray of freshly made breakfast as it made the ogre happy to see. Jason set the breakfast in bed tray on his Dad's lap as he moves up to grab the fork and knife.
"Morning, Dad, I've made our favorite breakfast meal for you. Fresh scrambled rotten eggs, five big slabs of smoked raccoon ham, mosh mixed with grits, and a cup of hot freshly squeezed slug and snail slime coffee. Enjoy." said Jason, grabbing the newspaper that he brought from the village before grabbing a seat on the bed.
"This is exactly a wonderful meal spread, Jason. You cooked this raccoon ham in great perfection," said Shrek, praising his son's cooking before taking a bit of the raccoon ham.
Jason flipped the pages of his newspaper to see the latest news while waiting for the right moment to inform his father. Shrek chewed his meal with delight while feeling relieved on believing what he experienced was only a dream. The ogre father felt so relieved and confident about that idea, that he even dared Jason to confirm it.
"I had the most strangest and disliked dream in my whole life, Jason. I dreamed that I have let you keep an annoying talking donkey as an anniversary gift to you. Then that annoying donkey talked our ears off on our way back home and ruined our dinner.", Shrek chuckled before munching on his rotten scrambled eggs. "Then on top of all that, I dreamed of our beloved swamp was overrun and overcrowded by almost all fairytale creatures in this country. Huh, funny right?."
Jason stopped from looking at the funnies to look at his dad. He nervously chuckled while folding his newspaper back. Shrek stopped eating. The single-parent ogre looked at his only child with a fatherly stern look on his face. The look that will make Jason spill everything to him. Shrek crossed his arms while still having the same facial expression.
"It was a dream right, Jason?.", Shrek asked hopefully.
Jason scratched the back of his head. "Um, how exactly do you feel about being a landlord?. A landlord that has a land and a house of overcrowded tenants?."
"Tenants?!.", Shrek's eyes opened wide on realizing that it was not a dream. It really did happen. "On our swamp?!. In our house?!."
"Ok, I see you are not taking it very well.", Jason quickly got off the bed and moved his way out until hearing one of the bells. "And my services are needed once again. Um, I'll come back and check on you when you calm down a bit."
"Oh, I'm beyond the reach to calming down, Jason.", said Shrek, removing the tray to the other side of the bed. Then getting out of his bed with only his boxers. "And the first thing that I'm going to do is murdering that house pet donkey of yours."
Shrek stormed out of his bedroom to instantly see the little girl from last night in his son's room and in his bed eating her breakfast happily. The little red riding hood whose actual name was Ivy was about to take another bite of her delicious triple stack chocolate pancakes, until noticing Shrek watching her with a 'Are you seriously having breakfast in bed in my child's bed?' facial expression. Ivy looked at the ogre before nervously smiling before placing her fork that has the piece of pancake on it in her right hand, before using her previous hand to wave at him innocently. Shrek frustratedly sighed even more from seeing this as it motivated him to resume his main objective of finding the talking moke. An annoying talking moke to be added.
Shrek walked through the crowd of fairytale creatures who were sitting around eating their hot breakfast and talking amongst themselves, after saying good morning to him and saying how nice of a host he is. After successfully reaching the dining room/kitchen, Shrek found Jason serving food to the blind mice brother trio, the seven dwarfs, and the three little pigs at the table with a smile on his face. Jason took the option of being considerate after placing his father back to his bed once he fainted from the stress of seeing the fairytale creatures and welcomed their home to them, and was willing to offer his full service to make their stay pleasantly comfortable as possible. Shrek managed to look at what his son is gaining from all of this as he folded his arms and watched. Jason walked over to the table with plates and bowls in each hand and on his arms before carefully serving them to their guests with a good service attitude.
"Okay, here is another fourth round helping of breakfast.", Jason sat down a large size bowl to the blind mice brothers. "For the three blind mice siblings, a nice portion of yummy cheese grits with extra-extra cheese with a mix of one slice of creamy butter. As for the seven dwarfs, seven plates of five sunnyside-up eggs with five turkey livermush and buttery white rice. And last but not least, three mixed plates of six strawberry pancakes and six chocolate funnel cake waffles for the brother pigs. Bon Appetit my friends!."
"Mmmm, thanks a bunch, Jason. Here.", said one of the dwarfs taking out at least five silver chillings and placing them on the table for the young teen.
Jason smiled brightly when collecting the coins. "I'm glad to be of service."
"Unbelievable." Shrek threw his hands up with a sigh. "Jason, Now, just because that talking pet donkey of yours has brought his unwelcomed and uninvited friends to our home, does not mean you treat them with absolute luxury."
"Who says that they are my friends?." Donkey entered the kitchen and got the ogre's attention. "Like I told you and Jason last night. I don't have any friends, family, or have a wife and foals. (singing) Cause I'm alone, there's no one here beside me. My problems have all g..."
"Don't!." said both Shrek and Jason, as the two did not want to be weirded out or feel extremely uncomfortable by Donkey and his out of nowhere music.
Donkey rolled his eyes from being rejected to sing. Suddenly, the three noticed Pinocchio approach them with a white mug of half-drunk coffee after overhearing what they were discussing. Pinocchio reached over to the table to grab the pot of coffee to refill his mug and added more cream and sugar.
"You three have got this all wrong," Pinocchio said while stirring his coffee with his spoon while looking at three. "We were never invited here. We were forced to be here."
"Wait, seriously?." questioned Jason with an eyebrow raised.
"By who of all people?." Shrek questioned so he can have a name to blame for his misfortune. "What is the person's name?."
"Lord Farquaad." said one of the brother pigs who had on a construction hard hat whose name happens to be Heimlich. "His name is Lord Farquaad or just Farquaad. He's the one responsible for all of this."
"Yeah." nodded the other brother pig who is wearing a brown hat and whose name is Horst. "Farquaad has forever hated all fairytale creatures since the day he was born. Claiming that were are a mistake and a disease to his so-called 'Perfect World'. At first, he would go out with his men and hunt us down and become his sick trophies or even go far to steal all of our food that we all grow in the fields. Heck, he even taxed us on everything from land to our own clothes every week, thus making it hard for all of us to make ends meet."
"And finally, Farquaad had come up with a perfect solution against us after we did not have enough money to cover the taxes once his tax collectors showed up," said Pinocchio, before taking a few sips of his coffee.
Shrek and Jason both listen and had disgusted facial expressions on their faces. They never heard of anyone being like that let alone having hate for any fairytale creatures for no reason. Donkey, on the other hand, was not surprised to hear any of this since he too knew about Farquaad and did not like him, not one bit.
"And so in order to not only have his full tax payment but also get rid of us, he huffed and puffed, and he..." Heimlich was interrupted by Jason before he could finish his sentence.
"Blow all of your homes down. Man, this Farquaad guy is a jerk," said Jason, with bitterness in his voice.
"Uh, no. No, Jason, that is not it. And plus, that story is inaccurate. Wolf don't blow down anything. He is a self-professional financial advisor/manager. Which by the way he is looking for an employer to hire him." informed Heimlich.
"That and no one wants to hire a wolf in a grandma's pajamas," added Wolf, who walked in with his daughter. "Farquaad gave all of us a signed eviction notice which so happens to be those wanted flyers."
"Huh, that would explain everything." Jason looked at his dad. "Well, Dad, it looks like we're going have to see this Farquaad dude."
Shrek sighs while hitting his palm on his face. He did not want to leave his beautiful precious swamp with the hands of these fairytale creatures hanging around nor go on what his son likes to call a 'Quest'. But then again, the adopted ogre father was not going to play landlord or host for anyone and get paid on the side. So, with no other option, Shrek asked for the location of Farquaad's castle amongst the creatures who were anxious about it. Well, all except for Donkey who is excited to be his new family's guide to the place.
Shrek tried to ignore Donkey's plea to be their guide but also ignored his son, who was pointing at fingers on both hands while having a silly face. The father ogre looked for any volunteers with hope on his face but unfortunately, the only person or animal who was bold and willing enough to come, despite having the chance of receiving the consequences from Farquaad himself was Donkey.
"Fine, Donkey, you can guide me and Jason to Farquaad's place," said Shrek, walking himself out of the house with Jason close behind and Donkey who was skipping with joy.
Shrek made it to the center of the area of his swamp and took a deep breath "Attention all...fairytale things!."
Shrek got everyone's attention from outside and inside of his house as they all immediately gathered around the three. "I'll say this and say this once. Do not get comfortable!. Your stay and welcome here is only temporary!. I, myself, my son, and Donkey are going to see this Farquaad guy right now and have you all get off our property and go back from once you came from!."
And in response, the fairytale creatures both people and animals just stood silent for just a few seconds to comprehend what was told to them and responded by cheering and clapping their hands. Jason grinned happily from getting the respect and love from all of his new friends that he made last night, he ran back to the house to go get his alligator-skinned bookbag to go fill it up with things they need for the trip. Once getting everything that Jason think they needed he exits out of the house and joined his Dad and Donkey, right after the three were giving gifts from the fairytale creatures such as a flower-made crown and mosh-made cape.
(Flashback Ends)
"Now, are you guys are satisfied with my performance?. Can we now go to that isolated castle?." asked Jason, not wanting to brag more about how good his voice impression and acting are.
"Yes, we're satisfied." Shrek smiled at his son when getting up off the bench.
"Best storytelling ever. Jason, you are truly national," commented Donkey, walking alongside his best friend.
Jason can only smile and petted the top of Donkey's head in response before the three have approached the front entrance. At first, both Shrek and Jason have wanted to be civil and just asked the guy in a Farquaad mascot outfit to help direct them to find his boss. But the guy in the costume instead panics after seeing Shrek and Jason, after assuming that Shrek had kidnapped Jason for dinner and tried to nab him as well. Now, both Shrek and Jason were trying to calm down the man but failed and just decided to just walk on through. As a result, the three watched the guy knock himself out by clashing with the grey brick wall and lay hard on the ground.
"That is on him," informed Shrek, before going through the walk-in gate.
"That is true." agreed Jason, following his dad.
After getting to the other side of the place and watching Donkey get caught in the walk-in gate and managed to get through, making the two chuckle a little bit before resuming to have a look at the area. The inside castle of Duloc looked like a fancy clean expensive theme park with matching colors and gift shops all around as if the place was supposed to be more of an amusement park than a kingdom. To top it all off, they heard boring waiting music being played by the long poles with speakers on top of them. But what stood out of the rest was this. Where are the people?.
"Uh, this place is quiet," said Jason, looking around with seriousness in his voice.
"Yeah, it is son. Too quiet," said Shrek, looking around for any signs of people but nothing showed a sign. "Where is everybody?."
"Oh, maybe this will tell us." Donkey spoke with enthusiasm as he ran over towards what looked like a big blue box that was bolted to the wall and had a pole sign that reads 'Information'.
Shrek and Jason walked towards Donkey before he pulled down the lever that was attached to the box. The three heard a roundup noise from the box and waited cautiously for something to happen. That is then when they see the double doors on the box with handles begin to open along hearing an uneasy, forcibly, and creepy music playing. Once the double doors had opened themselves up the three have seen a toy model of Duloc with little wooden people singing. Singing creepy as it was forced and delusional of singing about Duloc being a perfect place.
The three were creeped out by it and did not like what they were hearing. Eventually and thankfully it was all over as the little wooden people sang one last lyric before going back inside of the box with the double doors closing behind them. Then suddenly the box took a picture of three and printed out showing them with dumbfounded facial expressions. The three looked at one another and decided to resume walking away from the thing, right after Jason had picked up the picture and placed it inside his bookbag.
"Are you seriously going to keep that son?. After what we just witnessed?." asked Shrek, while shaking the uneasy cold feeling off his body.
"What?." Jason leaned his head to the side innocently. "It's a memoir, Dad. That way we can remember this place a few years later. Which I bet that this place will not stay active or populated for long."
"Oh, how do you know that Jason?." asked Donkey, before humming the same tune and then stopped doing so after it quickly creeped him out.
"Simple, Donkey. There is no such thing as a perfect place. Duloc is all front and I bet these people are forced to both live and work here." explained Jason.
Shrek nodded and said, "I think the same way son. You two stay close to me. This talk with Farquaad might not end well than we wanted to be."
Both Jason and Donkey nodded in understanding and walked closer to Shrek. The three followed the cheering noise of people from a huge arena before founding themselves actually on the ground level of where knights entertain its citizens. The three stopped to look at a group of elite knights all armored up for what it appears to be for a special duel. Then they heard a voice from a huge balcony and saw a man in a red royal uniform looking proud and confident.
"My brave elite knights!. You are the best and bravest knights that Duloc has to offer. Today is the day that one of you will prove themselves worthy to have this legendary quest to be given upon you. This champion will have the honor...no, no...to have the sweet privilege to rescue the forever lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon and have his name be forever remembered for years and centuries to come. Now, if any reason that our first champion fails to return with the princess, then I will send the next runner up will take his place, and so on so forth. Now, it is a guarantee that you will die, but it is the grand sacrifice that I'm willing to make for the sake of Duloc and its people to have a strong worthy queen by my side." said the man, whose name is Farquaad.
Farquaad spoke with a fake humble smile on his face. "Now, without further ado, let the first-ever legendary Duloc Tournament Begin!. Excelsior!."
Jason looked over to see people holding cards of signs and one of them reads 'Applause'. It was sickening for the teen to see this as it was now confirmed to him that this Farquaad guy rules under a dictatorship rule and not a monarchy rule. Cause a king or queen would not force its loyal citizens to do things against their own free will. Yes, sure the monarchy ruler does have the final say and decision but they also allow their people to speak their voice and have the freedom of choice.
"Let's talk to him, Dad. Like now please," said Jason with a determined look.
Shrek did not say a word as he and Donkey followed close behind while making the Knights jump back away from seeing three, but most importantly it was Shrek who scared them. This has caught the attention of everyone with gasps of shock including Farquaad himself who was not pleased to see. Especially if it was an ogre and a moor.
"What is that?." Farquaad leans forward to have a good look at what he sees and leans back in disgust. "Ah, it's hideous!. Along with that...with that... with that serf!."
"Excuse me?!." said Jason, frowning and feeling offended.
Donkey frowned at Farquaad and was ready in attack position. "Just say the word Jason, and I'll charge at him."
"Ahhh, now that is not nice." Shrek looked upset before looking back at Donkey for a short second before looking back at Farquaad with a compassionate look. "It's just a working donkey. An ignoring talking working donkey at that."
This caused Jason and Donkey to look back at Shrek with confusion on their faces. While Farquaad on the other hand had an idea in mind which not only give himself and his people a good show, but also gain a slave to help grow and pick cotton in his fields. Farquaad grinned evilly before clearing his voice up to speak.
"People of Duloc!. There has been a change of plans for this tournament. Knights whoever kills this ogre and enslaves this moor will be our new champion. Have it them!." said Farquaad, pointing at Shrek and Jason who were at least a bit scared when the Knights pulled out their weapons and slowly approached them.
The crowds were cheering for the entertainment with no choice as the signs read 'Cheer or Die'.
"Now, come on guys, what happened to a fair fight?." asked Jason, with his hands up in defeat while backing up with his Dad and Donkey.
"Yeah, come on now, violence does not solve anything you know?." said Shrek, before bumping himself up against a table with mugs of fresh beer and grabbing one before holding it up. "How about we all settle this over a nice cold pint?. I mean, after all, it is summer and it is hot."
Jason looked at his Dad who winked at him, telling him to follow his lead and be ready to throw down. They see the Knights not wanting to negotiate with them as they approached closer.
"No?. Well, alright then," said Shrek, before drinking down the whole mug of beer and doing what came next.
He takes the mug and smashes the spigot of the large barrel that contained the beer which poured out hard. This makes some of the knights have a hard time standing on their feet while slipping, while Shrek laughs hardly in the fun while Jason looked at one of the crowds and noticed two people around his age group and came running towards them. Once he did he had taken off his bookbag and handed it to a girl with fair skin, along with having a lot of freckles on her face. Plus, having four feet long red curly hair and having a rare green eye color. The teen was accompanied by what appeared to be her friend who looked weak with blonde hair and a short haircut.
"Hey, gorgeous, can you do me a quick favor?." asked Jason, both asking nicely and admiring how beautiful this girl is as he has never seen such beauty ever in his life.
The girl looked at Jason and can not help to stare at him as well. This girl has never seen a handsome guy in her life up until now. "S...Sure. What do you ask me to do?."
Jason instantly felt his heart beating hard and felt nothing but eros for this Irish girl and her sweet strong beautiful accent. "C...Can you hold on to my bookbag?. After this whole thing is over?. Are you ok with this?."
The beautiful Irish girl teen with peaked cupid's lips blushed after she realized not only that she was staring at Jason's nice built biceps, but she also realized that he was staring at her perfect and accurate shaped breasts and blushed. Her friend nudged her to respond back to Jason. "Um...no. Not at all..."
"Jason." Jason smiled at the beautiful Irish girl. "Jason Ogre. And your name is..."
"Oh, right." the girl smiled happily and felt extremely comfortable around Jason. "My name is Rachel. Rachel Lucky."
Jason smiled and adored that name before taking his attention to the boy teen beside her. "Hey, dude, what is your name?. Sorry, for not saying hi earlier."
"Oh, no need to apologize. I get that a lot." the teen shrugged with a friendly smile. "My name is Arthur. Arthur Pendragon. But my best friend calls me Artie for short. That is if you would like to be my best friend?. Rachel is my only friend ever."
"And he means ever," informed Rachel, with a sad smile.
Jason can only smile. "I'll be honored to be your best friend, Artie. Put it there."
Jason sticks his hand out to get a handshake from Artie who happily accepts it.
"Jason, A Little Help Here Please!." cried Shrek, while still having fun over the Knights that Duloc has to offer.
"Coming Dad!." Jason turned his attention to the two. "Wish me luck."
Jason ran over to go aid his father and Donkey to go have a fair share beat down to give to these knights. Rachel and Artie watched on and were amazed at the awesome performance. The two gained something special that day. For Artie, he had found a second friend that will always have his back with no question. As for Rachel?. The beautiful Irish teen believed deeply that she just have finally met her true and only love, and hopefully husband in the future.
"Best field ship ever," spoke Rachel, when having all eyes and full attention on the human moor son of an Ogre.
(A/N): Hope you guys enjoyed your Thanksgiving and this chapter. Until next time, Excelsior!.