She wanted Travis to put her down, but she could not trust that she would be steady on her feet. She had been hit on one side of her head only to land on the other; all of her head was throbbing, like she was wearing a crown of pain.

She had not passed out, she knew that was a good sign, but how badly was she hurt? Travis wanted to take her to the emergency room, but she was not sure if she was up to another doctor's visit. If she could go home and lie down, she was sure she would be fine, or would she?

"Can you stand?" he asked her.

"Let me see, I think so, my head just hurts; he hit me pretty hard." She didn't like being carried in front of people, and now the stares she was receiving made her uncomfortable. "Let me try." It proved to be a mistake, her knees crumpled under her, and she fell to the ground.

"I guess I can't right now, maybe in a few minutes." She felt embarrassed, she didn't deal well with being helpless.

"I'm taking you to the ER, you took a pretty hard fall on your head. You may have a concussion, or it may be nothing, but I'm taking no chances." Travis pulled out his phone and dialed a number. "I've called a cab; it should be here in a few minutes. I'm having you checked out to be on the safe side."

"Fine," she said, and knew she was defeated. She couldn't blame him; he'd already seen her with a serious concussion. He was probably worried about the baby, too. She hadn't sufficient knowledge about pregnancies to know if the fall or the trauma might cause her to miscarry. She felt guilty about being so careless, what if she had hurt the baby? Travis had told her what to do if she saw the thief, come, and get him because he might be dangerous. Well, he had been, and she had a throbbing head to prove it.

"I told you what to do if you saw him again, don't do anything but come and get me." He sounded irritated and she wasn't surprised, he expected her to do what he told her. "You should have listened to me."

"I did, I just chose to ignore you," she wanted to say but said nothing. The cab pulled up and they got in. The driver was driving too fast, and it was making her dizzy, but it meant they would get to the ER that much sooner. And the sooner they could get it over with, she told herself.

After her concussion she had developed a revulsion to hospitals, she was hoping she could have a home delivery, but Travis might have something to say about that. Fortunately, the ER was slow that day, and they got in a gown and put her into a gown and an uncomfortable hospital bed.

They took her blood pressure, checked her heart and pulse, and her breathing, all were normal. The doctor was young, but competent, and had an reassuring bedside manner. They would do a CT scan; it should not affect her pregnancy. She might have had a mild concussion, but she wasn't displaying symptoms, the CT was just to make sure.

She could feel a headache coming on, a bad one. She'd never been hit like that before, and it hurt, next time she would do what Travis said.

They came and wheeled her into the CT lab. The process didn't take long, and she returned to her cubicle more quickly than she expected. They gave her Tylenol for her headache and promised they'd have the results soon.

She was lucky, she'd been hit hard but that was as far as the damage went. She needed to rest a couple of days before she returned to riding. How long did she plan to continue riding anyway?

Travis didn't give her a chance to answer. "Around four months, but no longer, and that will depend on how she's doing. I don't think I could keep her off a horse if I tried."

She was sitting up when the cramps hit, the pain so bad she was doubled over. They both knew what was happening as Travis called the nurse.

"No," she moaned, "It can't be," but it was happening anyway. It was almost pitiful, how quickly it took for her to lose the baby. It was like having a heavy period with painful cramps, but once it was over they started to subside. The pain medication they gave her helped but could not help the sorrow she was feeling. There was no question of her competing at the Wichita show, Tulsa might not be possible either.

They kept her in the hospital overnight, and Travis never left her side. The next morning they discharged her, providing her with instruction for aftercare as if that would help, she thought resentfully.

Travis kept a protective arm around her, "Why don't you go see your parents, or go see your uncle? You haven't even started competing and things are already going wrong. If you don't want to go to your parents, go to the Yellowstone, you'd probably like that better. When you're ready, catch a flight to wherever we are, and I'll pick you up. I hate to see you like this."

"No," she said, her voice firm and set, "I want to stay with you. I hate to miss the shows, but at least I can be there to help support you. If I can't be with you, I'll be miserable, don't you see? We can go to Montana when the season is over. Mom would try to fuss over me, Travis, and I couldn't stand that. I don't want anyone's pity, you know? I blame myself for this."

"Don't," he told her, "Don't blame yourself. You made the wrong choice, but you were trying to protect one of our horses, one of the Yellowstone's horses. You weren't thinking, you were reacting. Just promise me you'll take it easy. You don't have anything to prove, believe me. If you think people won't understand, you're wrong. Just take care of yourself and don't do anything stupid."

It wasn't hard for her to take things easy, or so it seemed at first. She loved to groom and did it better than anyone else. She'd go down the line of stalls with her grooming kit, lovingly brushing the coats of the Dutton show horses. She had a talent for making horses' coats shine and could braid a mane or tail to prepare it for a show.

She was careful not to overdo it, gave herself breaks, and took it easy. She wanted to stay busy, she wanted to not think, thinking brought back the loss she experienced, and then the tears.

It wasn't working. She tried to hide it from Travis, she tried to hide it from everyone. She thought that if she worked hard enough, she could push down the pain.

Travis caught her one day, sitting on a bale of straw in an empty stall and crying softly so that no one could hear. He sat down next to her and took her in his arms, and she began to cry harder, though not meaning to.

"How could I feel like this," she wailed, "it wasn't a real pregnancy, not yet, we couldn't even find out what sex it was. And it was all over in a minute, why am I mourning such a brief loss? Monica lost an eight-month-old baby; how can I compare her to me?"

"You need to take a break," said Travis, "Coming back here was a mistake. And that pregnancy? It was real, it was a part of you and me that we were going to share. You didn't think you were ready to get pregnant, but you were, and I think that makes it worse. When we get home, let's try again, we won't have the stress of the road and the shows to deal with."

"I'm sending you to Montana. Jamie is going to pick you up at the airport in Bozeman and take you to the ranch. You need to rest; you need to be somewhere that won't remind you of what happened. Please say you won't fight me on this!" He smoothed her hair back from her forehead and kissed it.

"All right, all right, maybe you are right, I just hate being separated from you. Who's going to look after my horses, Travis?" She looked up at him, the tears still welling in her eyes.

"We all will, I promise. We'll keep them exercised and maybe compete in a show or two. I know you worry about that. I've got you booked on a flight for tomorrow morning. I'll take you to the airport so I can see you off. You don't know how much I'm going to miss you, little wife. At the end of the shows and sales, I'll meet you at the Yellowstone. Be good and don't rush things. I think the mountain air is exactly what you need." He kissed her again.

He wanted to tell her what was happening to the horse thief, but he was hesitant. The thief had not been cooperative, not revealing his name or the names of his accomplices. Travis suspected that they may be a family that had been operating a theft ring for a long time. At least the authorities were able to file an assault charge against him and suspected that he had been arrested before. It was possible to find out his name, but it would take some time.

"I don't want to go," she said in a voice so soft he could barely hear her words.

"I know, I do, I just think you need to do what is good for you, and staying here isn't. I thought if you could get away from things here it might help. John said if you don't want to go to your parents, he would be happy to have you. You and Monica can comfort each other. Jamie told me he's looking forward to seeing you. John says you can stay as long as you want. I think this will be good for you." While he spoke, he hoped he was doing the right thing.

She put her arms around his waist, squeezing him tightly. "I don't want to be separated from you, I'll miss you too much, but I guess you're right. I thought this would help but it's not, for once, horses aren't the cure. This is the first time we've been separated since we got married."

"I'll miss you too, but I think you need to do this. Ride as soon as the doctor's instructions say it's okay. Hang out with the hands in the bunkhouse and cheat them at cards." He laughed a little at this, "Talk to Ryan and tell him how lucky he is to not be with your sister, just immerse yourself in the ranch life and let it help you heal."

They couldn't make love because of the miscarriage, so he held her all night. They wouldn't have a chance to make love until Travis came to Montana to bring her home. The reality of this wasn't lost on either of them, but for Travis, the priority was for her to heal, and he would not jeopardize it.

He got a friend to drive them to the airport. She looked very lost and forlorn as they drove away, and for a moment Travis was tempted to turn around and retrieve her. As hard as it was for both, this was the best thing for her. He was just starting to realize how much he would miss her.

She checked in, alone, carrying the suitcase that held the clothes she had packed to go on the road with Travis. Nothing was happening the way she'd planned. She's been looking forward to competing with her new horses, then when she got pregnant watching her pregnancy progress. This was supposed to be a joyous time for them, instead, there had been nothing but loss.

She ordered a scotch on the plane. It was a four-and-a-half-hour flight and felt like it would take forever. She'd miss lunch on the ranch, she and Jamie would have to catch lunch in town. Gator would fix a special dinner to welcome her home, probably with one of his famous apple pies for dessert.

She'd taken a window seat although there wasn't much to see. She debated getting a second scotch but decided it wouldn't be a good idea, not a good mix with her medications. The doctor had told her to expect to feel depressed and tired. Take care of yourself, he had told her. You'll have a period after four to six weeks, and after that, you can try to get pregnant again. You're young and healthy so be patient, it will happen.

Bored and tired she fell asleep. She slept for an hour then woke and got a headset so she could rent a movie.

The movie was over, so she took off her headphones and looked out her window. She could see the familiar peaks of the Rockies and the mixed brown and green landscapes of Wyoming and Montana. Whenever this view, from the air or the ground, greeted her she knew she had come home.

Jamie was waiting for her at the baggage terminal, his familiar crooked smile greeting her and she ran into his arms. He hugged her, and she began to cry a little, the tears that came all too easily these days.

"It's okay," he told her softly, "You're home, things will be all right. This is what you need, this is what will heal you."

She looked at him through her tears and nodded her blond head. "You're right," she told him, "This is what I needed. Now, let's get my luggage then go and get some lunch, I'm starving."

"Just like always," he laughed, "I don't know, but even with the way you eat I don't think you'll ever get fat, it's not in your genes.

They walked out of the terminal and into the garage where Jamie had valet parked his SUV. She saw that it didn't have the familiar Yellowstone logo on its side, and wondered if he was still living at the ranch.

They got in and drove off. Jamie's smile soon faded, and she knew something was wrong. He looked dreadfully unhappy, and she wanted to ask why. She turned around and saw a child's car seat in the back.

She looked at him, and asked, "Jamie, do you have a kid?"

Something was wrong, she could feel it, but what? What had she come back to?