„Pandora's Box."
The beta – Ukrainian Snowstorm. Disclaimer: I don't own the Pokemon :)
It's the second part of my „Pikachu's Pills" trilogy. The first part you may want to check out is called „Let's Help Pikachu". It's available here on my profile as well. Originally, the trilogy was written in Polish in a tautogram form – a tautogram is a story, where all the words start with just one single letter – in that case it was the „p" letter.
The Pokemon decided to make an attempt at restoring order in the large attic of the mansion that they inhabited. The aforementioned one was built in the middle of a semi-desert plateau above a ring of hills. The mansion, built according to the personal preferences of the Pokemon, was beautifully painted. The attic of the property needed tidying. The friends made a professional attempt to clean up the attic rooms, the five rooms divided by partitions, which were covered with political pre-election posters, stuck there by Pawniard since he was passionate about political problems. To tell the truth, the Pokemon also tried his hand at writing a novel. It was later abandoned by him under a worn-out coat, covering the purple floor. The friends (Pikachu, Pawniard, Petilil, Pachirisu, Pelipper, Palpitoad and Purrloin) decided to clean up first and later rearrange the storage room.
"Look, a novel," said Pikachu, picking Pawnaird's poplin coat, covered with stains. The friends watched, while busily tidying up the attic full of worn-out items. They dragged the rotten pouffes, Pachirisu's souvenir trombone covered with dust (the helpful Purrloin lent his friend some pistachio-scented polishing paste), and later – a large stack of posters presenting some politician through the room.
"He's gorgeous," squealed Petilil, admiring the blond hunk from the poster.
"He is a half-wit," snorted Pawniard - the political opponent of the aforementioned politician. He brought a can of rusty tacks. He slowly began to pierce the poster. ( "Bloody psychopath!" said Petilil.)
Pikachu, standing behind the plan to clean the room, was lying in the spicy tomatoes' empty box, looking at his working friends.
"A novel," the Pokemon repeated slowly, sipping his beer.
"Is it exciting?" asked Pelipper.
"It's Pawniard's novel," said Pachirisu. "I read it two days ago. It was a pleasant experience to read what he wrote. The adjectives and the characters' sayings are simply amusing. Professionalism in full swing."
"Pikachu, stop slacking off," said Pawniard, carrying the cans of expired pistachios that were previously stuffed under the poufs. "Help us. Get to work, you lazy dude."
The Pokemon's leader tilted his face, covered with purple spots.
"He has already been working," Petilil corrected her friend. "He just stopped. His aching back got in his way," she said, affectionately caressing her partner's back. "It's one unpleasant health condition."
"Then take a painkiller and at least water the fern later," said Pachirisu contemptuously.
Pikachu snorted. He looked up at the ceiling. The withered shoots of a fern covered with dust waved under the attic ceiling.
"Here you are," Petilil said. She handed her partner a simple orange box, decorated with a picture of a bindweed. "It's a perfume sample," she informed him. "Water it."
Pikachu sprayed the fern with the bindweed-scented perfume.
Palpitoad dutifully reloaded the patina-covered boxes, filled with all sorts of stuff, that covered the purple floor. He carried box after box and container after container, through the attic. Gilded boxes, ones covered with moldy plush, boxes that were covered with beads, ones that were shiny, rotten ones… Containers of all kinds.
"Look, this box excretes a pleasant smell," he squealed in admiration, putting the aforementioned box under his nose. "Here you are, Petilil," he said cheerfully, handing the Pokemon girl the gift. Petilil accepted it. She sniffed it.
"That's right, it does smell wonderful," she said, sniffing the box again."Is it some perfume?" She lifted the shiny lid. "That's a can full of expired cosmetics," the brown-eyed Pokemon girl informed her friends, showing them the lipsticks the container was full of.
She carefully powdered her cheeks (the powder covered her freckles), then applied the lipstick. The Pokemon's face started to glow purple. Then she sprayed her pullover with the bindweed-scented perfume. She took a look…
"Stains!" she squealed, terrified. "Goddamned perfume stains," she repeated, irritated.
Indeed, the stains, nasty bindweed-scented spots — the aftermath of the vain Pokemon girl's work — had stained the previously pearly white pullover.
"Great," she repeated, almost crying. "Just great."
Petilil heard her friends' laughter. She blushed under the layer of powder, covering her cheeks.
The Pokemon looked at her in a contemptuous way.
"That's how your professional preparations before cleaning the attic look like!" snorted Pelipper. "Paint your nails later, Petilil. Then comb your hair. Paint your eyelids. And treat your heels to the pumice." he advised her mockingly. "Tidying the attic up, phew. The professional preparations, Petilil!" he snorted. "You're a true professional. This goddamned vanity of Pokemon girls! Palpitoad, let me congratulate you on your idea. It's a true Pandora's box. You have awakened a monster!"
Inside the tomato box, Pikachu slowly raised his right hand.
"Petilil, stop this," the yellow Pokemon said. "Better bring us some snacks, pretty," he asked ingratiatingly. "We have fired the maids we used to keep, after all. Girls should serve us, men," he said half-jokingly. "Then bring us some baked trout, my beautiful Petilil. Only quickly!"
"Beautiful… beautiful…" Purrloin mocked him. "Petilil has put on weight," he informed the others in a half-whisper, caressing the Pokemon girl's plump buttock in passing. "Her vanity got punished."
"Beautiful indeed," Pikachu confirmed in a serious voice. "A statuesque beauty. She's gorgeous." He looked at his partner, full of admiration. "A beautiful face. Beautiful brown eyes."
The aforementioned girl giggled, pulling her pullover up.
"It was a vulgar remark, Purrloin," she informed the perfidious Pokemon. "I put on weight! I! Phew! It's just the padded pullovers that make their owners look fat."
"I was just paying attention to your empty-headedness," Purrloin said in a serious voice. He looked at his friends. "I would give Petilil the award of…"
"Stop this. You're presenting the attitude of a psychopath" the Pokemon girl interrupted him. "You are humiliating me in public. You are condemning me in such a contemptuous manner. You are giving me lectures. You are persecuting me. You are a real psychopath. Slow down, man," she said.
"Let me repeat once more – I'm just stigmatizing your empty-headedness. It's such a habit of mine."
"The power of habit, phew…. Habits are easy to overcome."
"Sure, sure… For example the habit of powdering one's face in public. Is it really that easy to overcome the power of a habit? I would argue, pretty."
"It was one vulgar punch line," snorted the vain partner of Pikachu, the patriarch of the Pokemon tribe, touched by his words.
During this argument of theirs, Pikachu devoured the delicious baked trout, brought to him by the helpful Pelipper. He nibbled later on parsley, then washed it down with some beer.
"And take your pilll afterwards," Petilil advised her partner in a serious voice. "You see, Pikachu needs some, let's say… pills. Do you remember, Pikachu?" asked the beautiful, promiscuous Pokemon girl. "He has some private problems." the gossipmonger informed the others.
The Pokemon snorted. The humiliated Pikachu turned pink. He rubbed his eyelids.
"It's parsley that would help him sooner if anything," Pelipper informed her in a serious voice, trying to restrain his sarcasm. "Doctors confirm this."
"It's just a placebo," said Pachirisu in a contemptuous voice.
„Can parsley really help?" asked Petilil, having swallowed his bait.
"It's the ordinary placebo, you fool" snorted Pachirisu again.
"What pills? What private problems?" asked the simple-minded Palpitoad.
"The pills produced by Pfizer," Pelipper informed his naive friend in a low voice.
The friends snorted. Pikachu blushed again.
"Probably it's just some common, psychoneurotic problems," Palpitoad consoled him.
"Let's go back to work, friends, let's go back to work," the pink Pikachu said quickly, rising from the box. "Stop talking nonsense."
He patted the tilted tomato box. The time of him lying in it remained a thing of the past. Pikachu worked now with his friends, tidying the attic up. His previously aching back stopped bothering him. He worked with his buddies, cleaning out the storage room full of worn-out items, covered with patina, items that previously used to serve the Pokemon tribe.
The practically airless attic, full of dust, resembled the muzzle of a monster trying to devour the Pokemon. It excreted a pleasant smell – it was Petilil's perfume.
"This is the division of labor like in communism," said the Pokemon, straightening her back, covered by the pullover (the yellowish perfume stains had already dried up). She flipped through a large stash of porn magazines placed between Palpitoad'a broken pipes.
"Mmm… they are so spicy…" she admitted favorably.
"Spicy? Is it about fifteen-year-old Portuguese chicks?" asked Pelipper.
"Even more spicy."
"Fifty-year-old Portuguese chicks?"
"Fifty-year-old promiscuous Pygmy chicks," said Purrloin, breaking Petilil off.
"Pygmies? Pygmies?! I love them, I just love them!" Palpitoad informed them, all excited. "Show me this! Show me!"
"Pygmies!" snorted Petilil. "Pygmies, phew. Purrloin is saying nonsense, Palpitoad. Pygmies…It's just the spicy adventures of some beautiful Polish paleobotanist wandering the wastelands of north Greenland. This story is full of penguins." She wiped off the dusty magazine. It showed a blonde-haired lady paleobotanist lying under a cheerful penguin.
"You are a penguinophile!" said Pachirisu. He looked at his friend with disgust. "It's disgusting!" he concluded, turning pale. "A magazine for penguinophiles… it's frigging disgusting!" He repeated.
"You're a prude!" Petilil snorted. She picked up the box full of cosmetics. "I need a lipstick."
She lifted a striped lid of the worn-out box. She took a look…
"A monster!" she squealed in horror, quickly dropping the box. "A monster!"
The box broke. The lipsticks fell out of it, covering the floor of the room. There was indeed a tiny monster crouched in the cracked box, under the lipsticks. It was gloomy and haggard-looking and covered with broken feathers. It moved slowly its pale jaw, smacking. The Pokemon jumped, sure that they were going to get devoured by the monster.
"A monster… a monster… rather a monstress," he – she – said slowly in a gloomy voice. "A monstress of this attic; Pandora. Although I do admit, I love devouring the Pokemon," she said, slowly smacking her lips again. "The Pokemon… they are delicious," she repeated.
The friends turned pale.
"Go away, monster!" they kept shouting, trying to scare away the feather-covered monster.
"Devour Petilil first, monster," the pale Pawniard advised quickly. "This dumb girl has released the monster locked up in the box," he said in a gloomy voice. "That's Petilil's only true passion! Maybe apart from powdering her face in public! What an empty-headed, vain, stupid girl. To miss the monster hidden under the lipsticks…What a pandemonium… True pandemonium… Getting devoured by a monster while cleaning out the attic…" he groaned, almost crying.
„Let's treat the monster to some food. We'll give him some food and later he'll go away," Palpitoad advised his friends in a half-whisper. "He'll eat it instead of us" he repeated. „Later we'll give him some presents and he'll be so happy, that he'll just go away. Stop panicking, you half-wits. We are going to make it, I swear."
"Not 'he' but 'she'," Pandora corrected him slowly, having overheard the proposition of her potential food – the proposition of the beautiful, delicious, plump Pokemon. "If anything, then you will give gifts to her. You will treat her to the meal. Her – not him, repeat this. Repeat: a monstress, not a monster. Monstress Pandora. Remember this. Anyway… the food?" asked the eavesdropping Pandora. "The delicious, nutritious meal, you said?" She repeated, lustfully smacking her lips.
"Yes, really delicious food," Pikachu quickly confirmed. "It's prepared according to the needs of attic monsters… sorry, attic monstresses."
The other Pokemon agreed with him.
"Beautiful lady Pandora," said Purrloin ingratiatingly (the aforementioned 'beautiful' lady smoothed her broken feathers), "we'll give you some beautiful presents afterwards."
"We'll treat you to a delicious meal – monster snacks. Like roast beef. Parsley. Creampies. Pistachios. Then let us go – pretty please," said Pikachu. "Will you let us go? Please, devour just the meal, not us, the Pokemon. Please."
The monstress gave it a thought. She closed her eyes.
"I'll most likely do it," she said slowly, thinking about the proposal. "The Pokemon are delicious but the promised meal seems even more delicious," she said. "Plus the later presents," she reminded him. "I'll think it over after the meal. And now give it to me."
Petilil brought Pandora the leftovers of Pikachu's trout.
"The trout, just look at this!" Pikachu snorted. "She brought her my trout!"
The skinny monstress accepted the treat. She quickly devoured the brought delicacy.
"Delicious," she said, closing her eyes with orange eyelids. "I'm full now." She stroked the feathers growing on her muzzle. She looked at the Pokemon in a provocative way, smacking her lips again.
"Now the present," she reminded, pointing with her dirty claw at the attic filled with various objects – boxes, poufs, porn magazines, stored there by the Pokemon…
"The present?" asked Petilil. "The present?" She pointed at the collection of objects, covering the floor of the room. "A bunch of Pelipper's feathers? It would be a beautiful, useful gift, lady Pandora. The fluffy feathers can be of use to you…"
Palpitoad interrupter her. "Feathers!" he snorted. "No, a box, Mrs. Monstress, a box will be better!"
He showed the attic monstress the collection of various boxes in the attic.
"Those are beautiful, practical boxes. It would be a useful gift. Here, Mrs. Monstress," he said in a flattering voice, patting a box lying nearby – a spacious one, adorned with pearls. He lifted its lid covered with the glued plastic pearls, reminding with this gesture Petilil who previously lifted the lid of the scented box with cosmetics.
„It's a bit heavy, I admit," he said. "That's because it is filled with… let's see… with powdered pastilles?" he said in a doubtful voice.
"It's Pikachu's pills!" the rest of the Pokemon shouted.
"It's beautiful pills. They look delicious," the monstress said with admiration. She picked up the first pill. She licked it.
"Then let's give the monstress Pikachu's pills" Pelipper persuaded his friends in a low voice. "We'll chase her away in this way."
He said aloud: "Here, Mrs. Pandora, it's your gift – the pills. It's one useful panacea that counteracts various health ailments."
"Their icing is delicious," confirmed Pandora, again licking the pill. She closed her eyes. "I'll show them to my partner."
"My pills! I'm protesting!" squealed the irritated Pikachu. "I need those pills!"
"You do, you indeed do" confirmed Petilil maliciously, closing her brown eyes, so admired previously by Pikachu.
"Does your partner need the pills?" asked Pandora, concerned. "I myself used to take some pills last October," the monster lady informed the Pokemon in a friendly manner. "It was an unpleasant digestive tract condition but the pills made it better." She patted her feathered throat, swollen a bit after the meal. "Does your partner need a similar med, Miss Petilil?"
"He does, he indeed does," the Pokemon girl confirmed it quickly, blushing. "He suffers from a, let's say… private health condition," the gossipsmonger informed the monstress honestly.
"He suffers from some condition himself, you say?" the monster lady asked, getting suddenly curious. "Is it a mental health problem? A cold? Or a digestive tract condition similar to mine? ("probably it 's after the overeating," she said quickly. "The trout was just delicious," she informed Petilil.) Or maybe it's a condition of his nails? Or the heels?"
"It's his heels, let's say it's the heels indeed," Petilil said quickly, getting red all over, wanting to interrupt the questions raising Pikachu's shameful problem.
"The heel condition? Do they hurt? Do they burn? Do they sting?" the monstress asked. "If Pikachu's heels ache, then kiss him on them and they'll stop aching," she advised innocently. "The problem will pass."
"I will indeed kiss Pikachu then on his let's say… heels," said Petilil in a serious voice. "I swear. It's a great idea. I will kiss him on his heels and his problem will pass," she promised.
The Pokemon snorted again. Pikachu almost peed himself. The Pokemon heard him mumble a muffled four-letter swear word.
"A heel… goddamned aching heel…" repeated Purrloin. "Petilil will kiss it and the problem will go away…"
"Stop it. Just stop it," Pikachu muttered. "Are you going to accept the gift, Mrs. Monstress?" he asked, trying to interrupt the aforementioned conversation, touching on the problem of his let's say… heels.
The attic monstress nodded. She had a serious look on her face. "I'll take the pills," she promised. "It's a beautiful gift. I'll go now, my friends. It's truly delicious pills," the monster lady said again, clearly touched by the present she got. She swallowed the next pill – already the fifth one. "It's a beautiful gift," she repeated. "I'm going to show them to my partner, Mr. Monster. He should like them. He should take some of those as a precaution."
The Pokemon snorted again.
"Pandora's partner will surely like Pikachu's pills," squealed Purrloin, almost crying out of laughter. He rubbed his eyelids.
"He most likely will," Pawniard said cheerfully."Pikachu's pills will be of use for the monsters."
"Bye, friends, then," said the monstress, who previously tried to eat the Pokemon. She stroked Petilil's tawny locks. "It was a delicious meal and a present just as delicious, Miss Petilil. I'll introduce my partner to you. He will take the pills preventively. Such pills taken preventively, help one counteract some health ailments."
The attic monstress fell silent. She patted the pill box with its lid decorated by pearls, held by her. She pushed the door open. She wandered out of the attic, waving the Pokemon in a friendly way. She blew a kiss to Petilil.
"Bye," she said. "I'll come again – are you going to be fine with the next Friday, my friends? I'll take my partner with me. We'll come again for the pills. You probably have the whole boxes full of those, I bet."
"Sure… as much as fifteen boxes filled with them" confirmed Petilil in a serious voice. "Pikachu can confirm this, right Pikachu? He needs those a lot. He owns fifteen…no, fifty boxes of those pills."
"Do they help him?" the monstress asked with curiosity.
"They most often do… your partner should like them, Pandora," said Petilil, blushing after the attempt to say this in a serious tone. In spite of the powder, the Pokemon girl's cheeks were crimson red.
Pandora left the attic, tossing the box filled with the pills. The attic fell silent.
"My pills!" cried Pikachu, devoid of them now. "I need them! Pandora's partner will eat them all…"
"A crybaby!" snorted Petilil. "I'm sure the pills from the box will serve Mr. Monster just as fine, as they did to you," the Pokemon girl informed Pikachu in a serious tone. "They will serve them both," she corrected herself. "One useful gift."
"Probably they will," said Pikachu, consoled. He stopped crying. "The pills will at least help someone – the monsters. But… my pills getting eaten by the attic monsters…" Pikachu felt comforted by this simple statement. He rubbed his cheeks, covered with the purple spots.
"Besides, Pandora promised to come back, after all, remember! She's going to bring her partner," Pelipper reminded them, terrified. "It's the next Friday, as she said. The real awakening of a monster. Let me then congratulate all of you on the idea of cleaning out the attic. It's a real Pandora's box," he snorted. "The monster will probably want to eat us all," he almost cried.
"We'll bribe him again with the box of Pikachu's pills, then. The attic is full of the boxes with his pills. I'm going to ask the monsters next Friday, during our afternoon meal: 'Did you like the pills? Did they help?'" snorted Purrloin.
"There is at least one single person whom Pikachu's pills are going to help. It's Mr. Monster," said Petilil with a sneer, looking at Pikachu with a gloomy look on her face.