NOTE: The time jump in this episode is not a mistake. Since the episodes are from Wilson's perspective, there may be such jumps. After all, he can't always keep everything under record. Especially in a dangerous place like Constant.
I've died. Not once. Twice.
It's... difficult to put into words. The memory of it is still fresh in my mind—the freezing, the darkness, the moment when my body simply couldn't go on any longer. The cold claimed me, just as I feared it would. I don't know how long I wandered out there, desperately trying to find warmth, to find anything that could save me. But nothing came. I remember collapsing, the biting frost taking me into its embrace, and then... nothing.
Until I woke up.
I revived at the Touch Stone. I didn't know it would actually work, but there I was, gasping for air like a man pulled from drowning. The stone crumbled the moment I came back, shattering into pieces and leaving behind... something. A dark, pulsing energy, twisted and foul—Nightmare Fuel, and some marbles scattered around the ruins of the stone. I don't know what it means, but it felt... wrong, like something had shifted in the fabric of this world.But I didn't have time to ponder it. The cold was still there, waiting for me. And I was empty handed. No tools, no resources, nothing. The cold hit me like a wave, and before I could do anything, it claimed me again. My body was too weak, too exposed, and the frost gripped me harder this time. I didn't even make it a few steps before the world went dark once more.
I became a ghost.
I can still feel it—the weightlessness, the hollow emptiness of being trapped between life and death. There was no pain, no fear—just an endless drifting in the icy void. But something inside me... called. I wandered aimlessly, until I found myself back at my camp. And there it was—the effigy I'd built in a moment of madness, that strange, grotesque figure stuffed with my own beard hair and monster flesh. I didn't know if it would work, but I reached out, instinctively, and something happened. I felt myself being pulled back—back into my body. When I awoke, I was back at camp. Alive. But everything I had—everything I'd worked so hard to gather—was gone. All my resources, the tools, the food, even the Koalefant meat, scattered to the winds. All that remained was a bit of charcoal from the burned forest.
I've lost everything, except for the knowledge of what death feels like. Twice over. And that... that knowledge is haunting me. It clings to me like a second skin, weighing down on my mind. I can't shake the memory of freezing, of slipping into that endless void, of losing myself to the cold. My sanity is barely holding on, and I can feel it slipping away with every moment. The whispers... they're back. Louder this time. The shadows... they're lurking, just out of sight, flickering at the edges of my vision. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Reviving... it does something to you. It takes more than just your body. It takes pieces of your mind, fragments of your soul, and leaves you hollowed out, teetering on the edge of madness. The more I think about it, the worse it gets. The sensation of dying—twice—won't leave me. It's like an open wound that won't heal.
I don't know what to do. I'm back at camp, but there's nothing here. No resources, no food, and winter's icy grip has only tightened. I can barely think straight. The cold still gnaws at me, and my mind is fraying at the edges. I don't have long before I lose myself completely. If I can't pull myself together—if I can't find some way to survive—I fear the next death will be permanent.
The Meat Effigy saved me once. The Touch Stone saved me before that. But now, both are gone. And I'm left with nothing but a broken mind, shattered memories, and the looming shadow of death over me once again...