When You Sleep - My Bloody Valentine (Recorded in Loveless, 1991)
"It is funny how my hatred of you has now turned into something more,
Thank you for being in my life - You bring me joy,
And I hope I can provide you with the same relief, my love."
"OoO! What kinda pizza will they serve here?"
"I don't - Sero! What did we tell you about snorting salt?!"
"Bakugo dared me!"
"What?! You fucking snitch! I swear, I'll fucking kill you-,"
"Now is not the time to be acting like a bunch of children! We have a reputation to uphold!"
"Yaomomo, loosen up! We're on vacay!"
"Vacay? Mina, we're on a business trip."
"But we aren't getting paid for it?"
"...Wait, we're getting paid for this?"
"Bonsoir, mon ami! Will I be able to order a bottle of your finest wine? Oui, I am above the age of eighteen here is my-,"
"You can't drinks at dinner-,"
"Hey! Uraraka stop giving Deku a handy under the table-,"
"I'm not giving him a handy! We're holding hands, look!"
"Haha! These are great breadsticks! I want more!"
"Kirishima. They are starters."
"The birds here are lovely."
"Waiter! Couldst I prithee receiveth a 'zza with nay sauce only cheese and ham?"
"Tokoyami, no sauce?! And I think you mean prosciutto."
"Fuck is a prosciutto? Can I just have some sushi?"
"I could make do with a katsudon right now."
"Listen up you fucking imbecile's!" Jiro rapped her knuckles against our table loudly, commanding respect from everyone. "Shut the fuck up and order one at a time. S-scusa, amigo."
"Amigo? That's Spanish," Kaminari teased her. "You mean amico."
"Yes. That."
"Okay! Will that be twenty pizza's?" The waiter confirmed, looking at all of us with a bead of sweat running down his face. "And for drinks you are going to have a bottle of wine, eleven-,"
"Mate. Just do us all a favour and get us a beer each," I spoke in perfect English, reassuring the waiter as he nodded at me. Everyone then turned to me in confusion. "I told him to get us all a beer."
Hagakure moaned at that.
"Beer?! I wanted wine!"
"Oui," Aoyama added. "Without wine, the night is ruined."
"Shut the fuck up for ten minutes!" Yaoyorozu snapped angrily, clearly the stress of the trip already reaching fever pitch for the young woman. "Aizawa is still sorting out our accommodation! Class B went to a different restaurant, so all we are waiting for is the call from Aizawa saying it's alright for us to go to our hotels and sleep! That means we need to be on our best behaviour - And that means no detours, Sora!"
I sighed at that.
"Why would I want to go off on my own?"
"You know, we've heard the rumours about you, bro," Kirishima replied with a wince. " That you sleep around with whatever girl you can find. It wouldn't do you any good to knock up some foreign bird. I mean that's a bad look ya' know? We'd have to raise the poor kid."
"Thats-,"
"Sora. You told me you love sleeping around so much," Jiro told me seriously, apart from the fact that it was a lie I made to try and make her jealous and clearly got out of hand! "Please don't argue with us. I bet you think you'll try and impress foreign girls with your English. Try and use our Classes' international fame to your advantage."
"I'm not going to impregnate some random Italian woman!"
Bakugo snorted at that.
"To be fair, you'd be the worst father ever."
"Take that back, Kaplosian."
"Make me take it back, you shitty cloud watcher."
Before I could lunge at him, Jiro rolled her eyes and glared at us while Iida gave us a stern look that spelled trouble. I sighed loudly, shrugging my shoulders as I returned to ripping up the disposable plastic table cloth, throwing them on the floor intermittently.
"...Would you guys really look after my kid?" I nervously asked. "I mean, theoretically, if I were to have a child. I'd look after them of course, but you guys would be like the weird Aunt and Uncles, right?"
Mineta grinned at that.
"Man, I'm gonna' tell your kids all the stories of us together! Like that time we all managed to wear Miwa's skirts!"
…
"Mineta… You're not going within one-hundred metres of my child."
"Huh?! WHY?!"
Tsuyu giggled at our antics.
"Mineta, think for a few seconds about why Sora said what he said."
"I'm great with kids!"
"Yeah, great at corrupting them."
"I'm going to be the cool uncle that buys your kid porn!"
"It's the modern age, no one buys porn."
"Well, I'm old fashioned!"
"Yeah, an old fashioned pervert."
"Can we really use our fame to sleep around though?" Sero asked hopefully, but Yaoyorozu's stern glare shot any hopes he had of getting laid. "R-right! That's a bad thing to do! Haha. Taking advantage of our international fame is a scummy thing to do, Sora! But… You know, if you happen to go to a club tonight, you'll take me right? So I can p-prevent you from taking advantage of girls, I mean!"
"Why would I want to go clubbing?"
"Why not?" Mineta asked me excitedly. "Hot Italian women in skimpy outfits-,"
Tsuyu slapped him on the back of his head for that comment.
"Are you trying to cheat on me, kero?"
"What? No! I want to help hook my brother up!" Mineta replied, pointing at me. " I mean out of everyone in the class, he's technically the only one not in a relationship or likes someone! Or even a situationship!"
Todoroki raised his hand, pausing his PSP.
"I'm not in a relationship."
"Neither am I," Yayorozu added, although she refused to meet Todoroki's gaze.
"I'm far too dedicated to being a Hero to have a trivial romance!" Iida passionately declared, cartoonishly holding back his tears. "Plus, Heroes don't need romance! We're too cool to have that!"
"Robot. You're just annoying, you can't pull any hoes," Bakugo mocked with a sneer. " Italian bitches however? They seem feisty. I love a woman who thinks she can kick my ass, I'd be happy to explode her."
"Says you? And Kacchan, too much information," Deku replied with disgust. " I don't need to know your habits when it comes to wanking either. What's next, are you going to tell me you blast your cum sock onto your ceiling?"
"You fucking-,"
"I have a lovely girlfriend, who I will be pleasuring tonight in our exclusive room, while you will be stuck wanting to have sex for the first time. How does that feel, Kacchan? You always wanted to be number one but it seems like you are the one finishing last," Midoriya smugly replied. " Haha! I'm only joking. Ochaco and I are waiting for marriage."
"That's a lie!" Mina replied loudly. "Ochaco told us all about you and your use of Black Whip in-,"
"Can you all just shut up?!" Jiro yelled angrily. " My God, it really is like a mental asylum in this class! Can't we just have a normal dinner as a Class? No arguments, certainly no sex-talk, and more importantly can't we just act like normal and honest people? Not the band of idiots that we've been called. Thank you."
…
…
…
"Oh, man, that woman has a big ass," Kaminari whistled, standing up in his seat to stare at a nearby woman. "Hey, Sora, look! It's jiggling and everything! In those shorts too? I just want to put my face all up in it! Hey, why don't we go and-,"
Jab.
I was used to the sound of Jiro's earjacks hitting human flesh, I had been stabbed by them for so many years that when Kaminari's stomach was pierced and he fell back to his chair struggling to breathe, I couldn't help but sigh.
"Why would you say that in front of your girlfriend?"
"I…saw…big…ass," Kaminari replied, dramatically holding my hand in his. " I…won't… make… it… but…you…can…smack…that…"
Kaminari's head fell on the table.
"Kaminari! Nooooo!" Mineta howled, tears forming in his eyes. "Look at what you did, Kyoka! You finally killed him! You and your abusive love!"
Jiro rolled her eyes at his antics.
"If you don't shut up, I'll show you what abuse is. Denki, stop pretending you are an actor, that was the worst performance I've ever seen in my life," Jiro replied as Kaminari sat back straight with a dopey grin on his face. " I've told you a million times. You can't act to save your life. You're far too honest to do that! I can read you like an open book, and that says something!"
"Haha, I guess you are right," Kaminari replied, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. "Oh well. Looks like Denki Kaminari, an actor extraordinaire, isn't on the table. What do you think, Sora?"
I scoffed at him, lighting up a cigarette.
"Why the fuck do you think you could act?"
…
Oh.
Their stares made me realise something.
"Guys. Smoking isn't going to kill me."
"Perhaps, but we would rather be safe than sorry," Yaoyorozu replied. " Your health is important to us. As a matter of fact, those of us who partook in smoking decided to stop. And, I'm trying to introduce a class wide band of alcohol. Not successfully."
"Why would we agree to not drinking?" Kaminari asked in confusion. "That sounds like bullshit."
"For Sora's sake."
"Yaoyorozu. He drinks like a fish!"
"Exactly!" Yaoyorozu sighed. "As his friends we should look after his perilous health more seriously! Kyoka told me a week ago that he's been having episodes of violently coughing up blood at night, which-,"
"You told her?!" I asked Jiro incredulously. Fuck. "I thought it was confidential information."
"Kaminari and I moved up to your floor where you were all alone! You can hardly blame me for telling Yaoyorozu since she runs our dorm!" Jiro replied with a glare. " Don't try to hide something as major as that! What if you die because you refused help from us? Because you're sick, Sora. You're seriously sick and you don't understand how scary it is. What if you die while we're downstairs, huh? Then what?"
And with that, the entire atmosphere of the table changed.
It could be argued with ease that ever since I told Class A that I was dying, time seemed to have frozen for us. Or rather for me. Everyone else looked at me as if I was a ghost that had been brought back to life, or in other words just your average silly cunt.
"... It's not as bad as it seems."
"There was blood! All over your floor! I had to clean it up for you while you vomited your guts out in the toilet! And you skip over it and ignore it like it doesn't even matter! Have you even thought back to what happened?! "
"..."
The answer was no.
Because I wasn't interested in thinking back to that, I'd much rather block it from my mind.
Ignore it.
I wasn't in the mood to smoke as I used the ash tray to put out my cigarette in annoyance at the looks I was getting. That's fine. I'd like to see them try and stop me from smoking away from them, because I know for a fact that they wouldn't be able to stop me.
"... Blood, huh? You know, before All Might got put in a coma he was like that too," Midoriya said quietly. "Although in his case, it was an injury he got. Not the fact that his body was slowly breaking apart."
"Well, you could say my issue is an injury too! If I hadn't ever sacrificed my powers against Overhaul, Recovery Girl said that my body would never have progressed so far along to the point now where there is no turning back the pendulum," I cheerfully added, but that seemed to add more gloom to the atmosphere. "Oh. Sorry. I thought it would be a funny joke…"
"Why on Earth would your death be a funny joke?"
"Er, I find it funny?" I replied with a forced smile. " Sorta. Not really. Not at all. Erhm…"
"This is why we are on vacay!" Mina tried telling us, putting up a cheerful smile. "To get away from all the misery in Japan! To have some fun one last time before… well… Before we all graduate! Remember, in eight months we will be graduating! These are the final months we can spend together before we become adults and we won't spend as much time with each other!"
"Right!" Uraraka nodded. "We need to make the most out of our month and a half of touring the world! We need to make core memories with one another that'll last a lifetime! So, erhm, I…"
I rolled my eyes at their cheerfulness.
"So that when I die, at the very least you'll have some memories of me not tainted by me being an absolute bastard, you know that sounds pretty nice actually," I summarised. "Cute. Neat idea. A bit too dreary considering I still have two years or so, but cute nonetheless. Anyone else want to make plans about my death? How about we start writing eulogies, let's work on them together? Hell, how about I go first with writing mine-,"
The table went silent at that as I opened my mouth but no sound came out.
Ah.
Fuck.
I sighed, pulling out another cigarette as I lit it up and took a long drag from it, this time no one dared to question my actions. It was an uncomfortable silence as the warm Italian nights did nothing to cool tensions down, our sweaty skin attracting mosquitoes that infinitely spawned only made the situation more humorous than anything.
Yet even as I swatted them away, all that was left was the anger that never faded within.
And I promised myself I'd do something about that anger.
I understood it, so now I had to take the next step and accept it, not push it down deeper like before - All it ever did was lead to another explosion of feelings that I couldn't quite control. All it led to was Kurai gaining more power over me while I never once tried to understand why he even existed, and I learnt my lesson!
I changed!
"Sorry," I apologised quietly, trying my hardest not to turn away from them. "I-, er-, You know, I need to adjust to your worries and whatnot. I've been so used to keeping this to myself, Aizawa, Recovery Girl and Tokage for so long that I forgot it was that serious of a situation. Or rather I was so used to ignoring my own feelings on the matter, burying them down only for them to explode violently in my face. I'm trying to accept my anger at this, to not ignore how I feel. And I know you guys are just worried about me, and I'm really grateful for that, but I'd rather not dwell on the situation right now."
"Why not? Whenever we look at you, we can't help but…"
Think of the fact that tomorrow I might not be here.
I couldn't blame them.
I couldn't even look in the mirror nowadays.
But at the very least, my anger I had hidden deep down against the situation had been unsurfaced. At the very least, now I could try to be open to them with my emotions on the matter - One the hope I held onto for my own sanity.
"You know, that's why we'll make more memories! To distract you all from it! To distract me from it," I tried to cheer them up, but it didn't work. "...Listen, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. I don't mind either, but I'm lazy and dying so allow me to choose the easy way here. Yeah, one day soon I probably won't be sitting here. So let's ignore that, because it doesn't matter. Whatever happens, happens. No use crying over spilt milk."
"... You aren't spilt milk. You are our friend. Our family."
I winced at that.
"Well… Life isn't fair."
Jiro harshly sighed at that, turning to face me with wet eyes.
"You think we don't know that already? It's why we're so… Because there was nothing we could have done to help you. Because it's not in our power whether you live or not!" Jiro told me. "I-, You know, it's also hard for us to accept that one day you'll-,"
Tsk.
I couldn't take it any more as I got up from my seat.
They had no faith-,
But Jiro stood up and blocked my path.
As always, it was her who stood in my way.
"Where are you going? Why are you going?" Jiro asked me seriously, a look of determination appearing on her face. "You told me once not so long ago to forget the past, that it doesn't matter! But right now, you're the one still tied up to your past, Sora! You don't even have the decency to tell us if you're okay or not, you can't even look us in the eyes when we're trying to cheer you up because God damn it you would rather talk to us about anything other than the fact that you're dying!"
…
"... It might be cold-hearted for me to say this, but does it really matter whether I live or die now?" I asked her, but really it was a question posed to the entire Class. "Unless I find some miracle cure that heals my body, I'm not making it to twenty. Hate to break it to you, but that's the hand I've been dealt with. Sure, I can mope about it. Sure, I can cry and be angry. Sure, I can sit here pretending everything is perfect for you guys - But I can't do that. Sure, the past doesn't matter, but you guys are my present. You guys are my future. I'm not going to sit here and have a jolly good time with you when I know I don't have a future."
"So you're just going to throw your life away like it doesn't even matter?"
I shrugged my shoulders in response nonchalantly.
"I'm a guiding light, and that's all I'll ever want to be. Face it, I was never going to have a normal life," I replied, taking a small drag from my cigarette. " You guys need to accept that one day, I ain't gonna' be here. It'll be up to you all to continue living, to continue being Heroes and saving this world. Your future children are probably going to outlive me. My kid? I won't have one. That's reality. But no matter what, I won't give up trying to find a cure. Even if it's unlikely, I have made too many promises with people to just keel over and die. But you guys have already given up, you already think I'm dead. And that's what is pissing me off the most."
"..."
I sighed, shaking my head as our food and drinks were brought out to a table that was so silent even the waiters were confused at what happened to the group of rowdy kids from before.
Ultimately, I couldn't blame them.
One way or another, this tale would end in tragedy.
"So… How about after this we try to sneak into a club?" Kaminari suggested. " I know, Aizawa is waiting for us, but who cares? This is our Summer. After everything we've gone through these past few months, I think we deserve a little break. How about it, Sora? We get absolutely fucked to the point where tomorrow we can't even wake up in time for our tour of the city. Though, Tokage seemed to already give you a tour. Is she familiar with this place?"
"She comes from here, yeah," I replied. "She was just showing me the places she liked to visit when she was younger. Before she… came to Japan. And yeah. I'm down to go clubbing, it sounds like a fun time."
"Oh! Then we should get more drinks!" Mina added. "Waiter! Can I please have a vodka lemonade? Hey! What do the rest of you girls want, this round is on me!"
"Heh. You poor bastards. Kirishima! Order us shots of sambuca right now!"
"Y-yes! So manly!"
"Hm. Tokoyami, Koji, would you like to try some wine with me?"
"Sure."
"I wouldst appreciate the wine."
Slowly, my fears went away.
I knew that Class A were much stronger than that, even in the face of uncertainty, they still held their heads high and continued to press forward. It was the only thing I could be sure of in this world - One of the only reasons still pushing me to get up out of my bed.
So I could stand side-by-side with them, even for just a little bit longer.
"Cheers!" Mineta said, bringing his beer up.
"Yeah! To the best Summer of our lives so far!" Uraraka yelled.
And I…
"To getting absolutely hammered tonight!" I yelled, our glasses of alcohol colliding with one another. "Let's fucking go! You better down that shit, Katsuki. I'm coming for your arse. Don't forget I know it was you who drank my whiskey bottle a week ago!"
"Fuck you, shitty cloud watcher! I didn't do shit!"
"The bottle was in your cupboard you angry dog-,"
Chapter
Eighty
Three
'Il Mio Caro Amato'
"Hey, come on! Look at me! Don't I look eighteen?"
"Er…"
Mina grinned, showing her provisional driver's licence to the bouncer.
"Look! July Thirtieth!"
"We are in early July…"
"Oh-, I mean the year before! Please, just let me in!"
"But-,"
I sighed, rolling my eyes at the bouncer as I reached into my pockets and handed him thirty Euros. After that he was far more cooperative, and we were all able to walk into the club without many problems after that. Mina shot me a grateful look as I walked straight to the bar, leaning over the counter as a bartender walked over to me with a cheery smile.
"How can I help you today?"
"Two double shot Fireballs with coke," I told them. "How much will it be?"
"Six Euros."
"Cool."
Not even thirty seconds later I took my drinks and went to the smoking area, and much to my surprise it wasn't as busy as I thought it would be. Despite that, I didn't really mind as I sat down and lit up a cigarette, staring at the night sky all alone - Even with the music blasting from the club, I guess it didn't really matter to me as I leaned against a nearby wall and took a sip from my drink.
Huh… The moon looked weird tonight.
"Yo! Why're ya' outside?"
I looked to my left to see them.
Jiro was drunk, but her arms were wrapped around Denki who was holding both his and her drink as they stood opposite me. I couldn't even meet Jiro's eyes as she was far too engrossed with her boyfriend, and I wasn't able to deny the fact that in that moment I was jealous as I downed my first drink.
But it didn't make me feel any better.
Staring at the empty plastic cup, all I could see was my own bitter reflection.
…
"It's a cool night, I wanted some breeze," I replied. "What about you two? Shouldn't you be dancing as a couple inside? Instead, fuck are you doing out here? Seems like you're wasting your time at the club."
"I don't like clubbing," Jiro replied. "I thought you knew that."
I… I didn't.
"Oh."
"I've never liked clubbing. It was always you who wanted to go out, never me," Jiro added. "More importantly, here you are in the smoking area. Are you sure you even like going clubbing? Shouldn't you be inside dancing?"
I laughed at that.
"Touche."
"Are you alright?"
I watched as Denki squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.
"Just fine," I forced out a smile, downing my second drink in a few seconds. "You know, I just feel a little sick. That's all. You two should seriously go dance together though, because it'll make you happy."
"...Alright," Denki replied, nodding at me as he led Jiro away.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I took another drag from my cigarette.
Finally, I was-,
"Mind if I join you?"
A girl with blue hair scooted beside me. She had a thick accent, and I didn't recognise her at all as she smiled at me, and all I could do was shrug my shoulders in response. I wasn't going to tell her to fuck off, so I simply tried my best to ignore her.
"Say, you aren't from around here, are you?"
"No."
"Where are you from?"
"Japan."
"Oh, I love anime!"
"Nice."
"What are you doing here in Italy?"
"Business trip."
"Oh? What's your job?"
"...A consultant, I guess."
"Nice! What do you do?"
"Listen, I-, Er…"
The blue-haired girl grinned at me.
"You like that purple-haired girl you were speaking to earlier, don't you?" She asked me. "It was obvious the way you looked at her. Longing. So, what is she to you? Your best-friend or something?"
"We briefly dated."
"Ah, an ex-girlfriend."
I nodded in response.
"Why do you still love her?"
"Why wouldn't I? Just because she moved on, doesn't mean that I did. Just because she found someone new, that suddenly doesn't erase the fact that she means a lot to me," I answered. "I'm tired of everyone in my life questioning why I still love her. I can't explain why I do, other than whenever I look at her I can't help but want to be the one by her side, the one she looks at with love in her eyes."
"Maybe she never loved you the same way you loved her."
…
And that was harsher than the wind that blew fiercely.
"Yeah, maybe."
"You've gotten drunk two days in a row."
"Spare me the fucking lecture, I'm eighteen," I groaned, rubbing my temples as I wore shades to distract my eyes from the harsh sunlight. Aizawa sat opposite me in shorts and a sports shirt as we sat at a local cafe. "I can make my own decisions, and I regret none of it. For your information, I was fooling around like people my age do when they have free time. Everyone else is still sleeping. Somehow, Setsuna managed to get Class B to ditch going to bed early and join us at the club. It was a pain to get in, but I think Mina took 'flirting' with the guard to the next level."
"I do not want to hear about your escapades."
"Why not?"
"You tell me, Sora? Why would I not want to hear about most of my underage students going out drinking and having a night out? Does it ring any bells that it might JUST be illegal?" Aizawa pressed, sipping his coffee. "That said, how was the club? One time when I was your age, Nemuri dragged me, Hizashi and Oboro out to a club in Musutafu. She just didn't tell us it was a drag club."
"Did you enjoy yourself?"
Aizawa rolled his eyes at my comment.
" My girlfriend at the time broke up with me right after. I lied to her about going when she wanted to call me that night and spend it watching a movie we had been planning to watch for weeks. She said I cared more about my friends than her," Aizawa replied. "I don't regret a single thing, however. Because that night was the last night Oboro ever had - Before he got turned into Kurogiri I mean."
I nearly dropped my pastry at that.
" What? You had a girlfriend?!"
" Yes. You've met her before," Aizawa sighed. " Although you did not get along well with her during your licence exam. You were in a crappy mood and your fight with Hawks put you in an even worse mood."
…
…
…
Oh, shit!
"You dated Ms Joke?!" I asked him curiously, taking off my sunglasses to stare at him in shock. " Holy fuck. When? What? How?! Why didn't you ever tell me this before?! Huh? Dude!"
" It was before you were born. And it's purely because Emi and I have been childhood friends since… Well since I can remember," Aizawa replied, " It didn't work out because ultimately, I was a crappy boyfriend to her. You can relate, no? Teenagers are often so focused on themselves and their problems they forget that a relationship consists of two people."
"So… you fucked up?"
" I fucked up," Aizawa told me. "You could say I cheated on Emi. Emotionally, I mean. Although the situation was far more complex than that, I was a horrible boyfriend to her and I deserved to be broken up with. She stuck with me after Oboro died and wanted me to talk to her, but instead I went out clubbing with Nemuri and Hizashi after Oboro died, I isolated myself and eventually I became more Eraserhead than Shota Aizawa. I drank a lot back then and ignored a lot of people that reached out to me, and so Emi didn't appreciate that. She got sick and my shit, I just wanted to be left alone and we mutually broke up."
"Do you still…?"
" Love her? Sora, it's been nearly nineteen years. Why would I love her and not do anything about it?" Aizawa asked me in confusion. " I don't love her. I don't love anyone romantically. I'm simply not cut out for romance. I don't like the idea of dates, I don't like the idea of growing old with someone, sharing my space and most of all letting someone in. Outside of you, of course. I was never really interested in that stuff, I'd much rather be left alone and have friends I consider to be my family. "
"I'm just worried about you."
Aizawa snorted at that.
" Worried about me? Why?"
" If I… die, you'll have no one," I told him sadly. "Sure, Nemuri and Hizashi will be around, but they aren't as close to you anymore. You're all adults and your friendship has sorta grown apart, right? They have their own worries. I'm your nephew that you buy alcohol and cigarettes for who stays up till five in the morning talking about random shit with outside of Oboro's grave. I'm your nephew who you come to have a family dinner with every friday for nearly the past two years, and I-, "
"Sora. Thank you. But really, you should be worrying about yourself."
"...Why's that?"
" You definitely deserve a romance."
I laughed at that, shaking my head at the man.
" Me? No way," I replied with a sigh. " Why the hell do you think I deserve a short-lived romance? So that I can traumatise another girl? That's a recipe for disaster. It'll be like that Gundam series."
"Oh the one where the main character dies leaving his girlfriend pregnant!"
" Is that supposed to narrow it down?!"
"I thought it only happened once?"
I sighed, shaking my head at Aizawa.
" That's not the point. Anyway, I don't like any girl right now," I told him honestly. "...Why are you giving me that look? I told you, I'm not cut out for romance. And even if I was, it wouldn't be something as sad or short as what you're thinking."
" You have gotten awfully close to Tokage recently."
"She's my partner! What part of that do you not understand-, Oh, you're teasing me."
Aizawa grinned at me.
" Of course. What kind of Uncle would I be if I didn't do that?"
" A good one."
"Oi. I get you presents."
" Yeah, alcohol and cigarettes. It hardly makes up for the first fifteen years of my life that you weren't present in," I replied with a smirk. "Imagine if you had come into my life sooner? Gosh. I really think you would have hated the younger version of me that was so stubborn and a bully."
" You think?"
I nodded at him.
" Definitely. I had no friends."
"How is that different to you now?"
" Hey! Rude!"
" I'm only joking, don't get your panties in a twist," The corner of Aizawa's mouth twitched upward at that. "So, I guess that means that unlike me you are still in love with your first girlfriend. It's hard to ignore the signs, Sora - I think everyone knows it by now. Despite the fact that Jiro is currently dating your best friend, you still can't help but love her. You always look at her when she isn't looking, and you have that dreadful look on your face. Like you're stuck in a dream you can't wake up from. "
"Tsk! This is why I don't talk to you about this stuff!"
"Really? I was hoping you didn't want to talk to me about girls because you knew it would be awkward and I'd make no effort in actually helping you. Maybe I misjudged how many brain cells you have," Aizawa hummed in response. "To be honest, still loving your ex after she broke up with you nearly two years ago is a horrific choice. Anything else you want to discuss about the woman you love? Want me to tell you how many times I've caught her and Kaminari-,"
"Can you-, I don't know, shut up?"
" Is that jealousy I hear?"
"Yes! Is that it? Do you want me to be honest for once?!" I yelled in anger, lightly kicking the table. " Yes, I'm fucking jealous. First it was Setsuna who teased me about it, and now you. Do you want me to scream it from the fucking roofs too? Yes, I'm fucking jealous. No shit, Sherlock. Of course I'm fucking-, Er…"
"..."
" Sorry for the outburst."
"I shouldn't have pushed you, I apologise for that," Aizawa said, bowing his head to me. " Although, I'm surprised to see you are expressing your emotions so honestly. Usually you would have buried them deep down and changed the topic or flat out ignored what I'd be saying. Did something happen?"
I nodded.
" I saw how unhealthy it was to hold on to such emotions you could never express."
Through Natsuki.
Through those people in the city who held onto their hatred and anger to those in power.
"So, what? Do you want to deal with them healthily?"
"I suppose. Isn't the first stage acceptance?"
"Why are you asking me? I'm rubbish at emotions."
"It's not a subject! Aren't you an adult?!" I asked him in annoyance. " Surely you know how to deal with your emotions healthily! Just tell me a way or something! Is it that hard, or are you that clueless?!"
"You do realise that being an adult is just being a grown child?"
"What does that have to do with anything?!"
"Most of us do not have everything figured out, I'm still young you know," Aizawa told me with a smirk. " I do not know how to manage my emotions healthily. I was sort of hoping that you would teach me that."
"Why would I teach you that?"
Aizawa laughed at my question.
"Sora. Ever since I first laid eyes on you, I've had to learn a lot of lessons from you," Aizawa told me seriously. " On how to manage how I view the past, on how to be a better teacher, on how to be a better role model and so many more lessons. Give yourself some credit, kid. You're a great teacher yourself. Honestly, if it weren't for the fact that you were a part of U.A. I'd convince you to be a teacher yourself."
"We have already had this conversation before! I'd be a sucky teacher!"
"Maybe the old you. But Sora, you just keep on growing and changing into an adult, maybe right now you still aren't suited to be a teacher - But in five years? In ten years? Who knows," Aizawa told me. " And yes, you will live for that long. Don't think I didn't overhear about what happened yesterday at dinner. I know you are sick and tired of people walking on eggshells around you, but cut them some slack. You may be used to your life constantly fucking you over, but they aren't."
"I apologised!"
" We both know that's not enough. For the rest of the trip, just try to understand them a little."
…
I sighed.
"Alright, alright. You're right."
And he really was.
I was just confused as to how we'd be able to bridge the widening gap between us.
"We will be heading to Venice by train! You have two hours to get ready before the train."
Setsuna's eyes met my own gaze as I nodded at her.
"Sorry, Uncle, but I think I'll probably be late to the train," I spoke up casually. "Setsuna and I have a… Well…"
"A date?"
"We're going on a date, yes!" Setsuna yelled excitedly, clinging to my arm like a child. "...Is what I would say. We'll make it to the train on time. Sora's just being a silly billy like usual. He asked me to take him to the place I used to live."
"...You used to live here?" Jiro asked her. " Makes sense why you know Italian so well."
"Do you have any family here?" Kaminari asked eagerly.
"That's what we are going to find out~" Setsuna replied, dragging me away from the group. "Thanks sensei's for looking over our suitcases while we go for a quick little adventure! I promise, we won't be late!"
"Tokage-,"
Vlad King's pleas fell on deaf ears, as always.
"Please don't miss the train! The next one isn't until tomorrow!"
It didn't take long for Setsuna and I to leave the train station as she held my hand in hers, the cool Italian breeze sweeping our sweat off our skins. And even I couldn't stop myself from grinning as she led me through the city we had briefly explored the day before.
"You know we don't have much time, right?"
"So what?" Setsuna replied, sticking her tongue out at me. " ...I wanted to visit all the places I couldn't when I was a kid. You know, I was practically restricted to a hospital for my entire life. I always wanted to visit some of the places here! I promised if I ever got better, I'd go and visit these places with my friends! So, here we are."
"So you come from Prato?"
"No. I come from Florence, the city next over," Setsuna explained to me. " But the hospital I stayed in for the majority of my life was here. The hospitals in my city were far too full to look after me full time, not to mention too expensive for my family to afford, so I lived here for a long time. The nurses always told me how beautiful the city was. In fact, the only time I was able to leave the hospital was to visit the local Cathedral. I… I wasn't that religious. Not with being sick and all, I always wondered why God chose me to get a terminal illness. But, that didn't stop me from praying."
Setsuna and I stopped outside of an old building.
But it was beautiful too.
Bathed in the Tuscan sunlight that was beginning to dim, the orange skyline paired nicely with the black and white Cathedral, with loose orange bricks every now and then showing its age. In the presence of the building, I couldn't help but draw comparisons to an old Inari shrine back in Japan - However the ever present clock hanging just above the front doors of the Cathedral reminded me of the one fact I kept on trying to forget.
Time wasn't infinite.
Much like this building, I was going to be broken down.
My flesh stripped away like the bricks that had withered away with the passage of time.
"... Setsuna."
"Yeah?"
"You know how it feels, right?"
"...Why do you think I'm showing it to you?" Setsuna replied sadly. " Everyone wants to have fun on this trip, and I can't blame them. For them it's the last time that they'll be together like this before they graduate. For those who can think a little more maturely, they know this is the last time you'll be here with them. For me, this trip is the last time I'll see you healthy enough to walk around like nothing matters. It is the last time we'll have a break from the storm that's about to come. "
I nodded at that.
"You think a storm is coming?"
"We wouldn't be here if it hadn't already hit our shores, Sora," Setsuna replied with a smirk. "Give me more credit than that. I'm not a genius, but I'm not oblivious. Things are starting to go wrong, and that frown on your face only gets the deeper the more I speak to you. So, partner, you wanna talk about it?"
"..."
"What?" Setsuna asked me. "Surprised by how smart I can be?"
But I shook my head at her.
"I've always known you were smart. You're one of the most intelligent people I know, so believe me when I say that I wasn't trying to hide anything, honest - I just didn't know the best way I could go about in saying it," I replied with a sigh. "...Hachi visited me a few days ago now. Before we were sent here. She told me that she set all this up for a reason, to provide hope and shut the world up about Japan and its problems. To give her enough time to investigate behind the person involved in all the events."
"I thought you found out who it was?"
I shrugged my shoulders at her.
"I thought I did."
"...So? What does that change? We're here, we're Heroes, and we're going to do our jobs," Setsuna told me proudly. " Why do you feel so down? Is it because there is nothing you can do to help?"
I shook my head at her.
"No. More so I can't help but feel like things are screwed up. I don't even know how I can even begin to help Class A so that they're ready to fix the problems," I told her honestly. "...That's the least I can do considering my circumstances. But Class A can't accept that, they want me to help them change this world. They don't understand that one day I won't be here. They think I'm already gone."
"...And are you?"
"Gone? Setsuna, I'm right here."
She shook her head at me.
"I know you are here. I know that you exist. But that's different from living, Sora - I know all about that, it's why I brought you here," Setsuna replied, pointing at the Cathedral in front of us. "A lot of people mock Religion for its overbearing zealots, you know the nasty ones that spew hate. And I can't blame them. But, the act of the Religion is nothing more than an act of Hope itself. A chance to believe in something greater. It's sort of like Heroes in a sense, don't you think? In this world, they replaced Religion with Heroes. All Might was the people's hope for a better future, and he died. And we can try our hardest to replace him, but we never will."
"And so the wheel of fate keeps turning."
"The wheel of fate will always turn, Sora. Because like life, it'll never stop for a single second," Setsuna replied, brushing her hair out of her face. "I don't necessarily disagree with the HPSC, you know. Maybe the idea of what a Hero is and their role and responsibility in society needs to evolve. There are real societal issues that Heroes cover up because that's their role, to protect the current machine called society no matter what. I hate it."
Nodding at her, I looked up at the sky.
"I agree. Heroes still need to exist, but especially after what Natsuki tried to achieve-, with how limited we can even investigate things, I realised how narrow the idea of a Hero is," I told her. "Simply beating the villain is what got us in the mess because no one refuses to look at why the villain is created. The public are the way they are because Heroes sacrifice themselves to protect them, they're not ungrateful for wanting Heroes to be abolished. Because Heroes have failed, as they currently are they are just dogs to protect the government from its mistakes."
"Mistakes like Shigaraki?"
I shook my head at her.
"Nah. Shigaraki, I understand, was manipulated by All For One his entire life. Touya was created through his obsession that his father didn't really help him get over, Toga wasn't given the help she needed, Twice the very same thing - My point is that I understand the League of Villains. I even understand Zero, to some extent," I said. "Zero just wants to go back, right? He wants to go back to the past that escaped him. I don't blame him for it, because just like the rest of us reincarnates, we are a mess."
Setsuna giggled.
"A mess, huh? I guess you aren't wrong. Either we're Heroes, Villains, or the fucking Prime Minister, we're all trying to change the world in our own ways. Apart from Shion," Setsuna said, smiling at that. " She's the only one content with her life. I mean she's married, has a child, and runs a restaurant. She's made up with her past, accepted it. I envy her in a sense, but I never really had a life to accept in the first place."
I hummed in response.
"So, what did you pray for? Here, I mean. "
Setsuna sighed.
"Don't you know that if you tell others what you Prayed the Lord for, those wishes will never come true?" Setsuna asked me. " Do you want my wish to never come true? …That's what I would say if my wishes hadn't already come true. I asked for another chance at life, Sora. I asked to be put in a healthy body and get the chance to go to school. To live a actual life for one. I died the very next week, surrounded by no one but apathetic nurses."
…
"Your family didn't come to see you die?"
Setsuna scoffed, shaking her head at me.
"They saw me as a burden in the end. Can't say I blame them, they held onto hope for nineteen years that I'd get better but I never did," Setsuna replied. "At some point you just have to cut your losses and move on from the past, you know? Accept it for what it is. I don't blame them. Really. Would you?"
I squeezed her hand tightly at that.
"I'm never going to leave you, Setsuna."
"That's not what I'm talking about, Sora. But thanks nonetheless," Setsuna said to me, as we walked to a nearby stool selling ice-cream. "Salve, potrei ordinare due palline di gelato in barattolo! Caramello e fragola per favore."
I watched as she ordered two scoops of caramel and strawberry ice-cream in one pot, the lady at the stool smiling at the two of us as she handed two wooden spoons for the two of us to share.
"E il tuo ragazzo? E un bel ragazzo."
"Non e il mio ragazzo, ma lo amo. Molto. E solo che lui ama un'altra donna."
I watched as the old lady turned to glare at me.
Huh?
What the hell did I do?
Was it my looks?!
"Er, scuzi?" I tried apologising, but I think it made the situation worse as the old lady simply sighed, giving Setsuna a deep stare. "...Setsuna? Is everything okay? You need me to back out my Quirk for a fight or-,"
"Everything is fine, Sora."
The old lady hummed at that.
"Si ha una sola vita. Lui sembra carino, ha una possibilità con la donna che ama? Se non è così, taglia le perdite e trova qualcuno che ti ami. Cosa ti ha appena detto? Mi ha detto di farmi gli affari miei? Vuoi che prenda il mio sandalo e lo colpisca in testa?"
Setsuna laughed at that, shaking her head at the old lady.
"Non c'è alcun problema. Mi ha solo chiesto se avevi intenzione di batterti con me e se doveva intervenire o meno. Per quello che vale, lui ama una donna che non lo ricambia…"
I watched as the old lady nodded in understanding, giving us an extra scoop of vanilla.
"Here you go," The old lady told me in broken English. "For… free! Enjoy your girlfriend!"
I felt my cheeks redden as Setsuna sighed beside me.
"Grazie."
We drifted away from the stand, ice-cream in hand as we found a nearby empty bench and sat down on it. The cool breeze in the air allowed us to enjoy our ice-cream in peace as I reached straight for the scoop of strawberry ice-cream, the flavour melting in my mouth as Setsuna and I stared at the orange sky in a comfortable silence.
"Ah. Summer holiday. I missed the feeling of this," I told her with a grin on my face, my hands reaching out to the sky. "Nothing better than relaxing on a nice day like this. You know, heh, it reminds me of the fact that two years ago Class A and I went to the beach. Around this time."
"I remember. I went too."
I nodded at her.
"Yeah, you threw watermelon at me! I remember!"
Setsuna softly laughed at that, her smile perfectly aligning with the orange sky as her dark green eyes shone lightly. I couldn't help but reach over and steal some of her caramel ice-cream, much to her dismay.
"You can't do that!" Setsuna whispered angrily. "That's my ice-cream!"
"Well, it's in one pot. I think it's our ice-cream."
"If you want your own ice-cream you can go deal with the old lady that scared you all on your own!"
"What were you two even speaking about?"
Setsuna's cheeks turned a faint rosy colour as she shook her head at me.
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Sorry for not understanding your language, Setsuna," I sarcastically replied. "I'll be sure to start learning Italian as soon as possible so I don't embarrass you in front of your countrymen and women next time."
She giggled at my comment.
"You don't need to do that, Sora. Just being here is enough for me."
"Yeah, right. Is this the part where you'll pull out a knife and stab me? Right, this is the part where you'll call me Bakazaki and make fun of my hair or being short," I told her. "And then this is the part where I call you a loser, right? And we have our little back and forths till the day I die."
"...We all die one day, Sora."
"And mine seems to be coming up soon. Are you going to attend my funeral? If you do, be sure to explain at the very least how close we were, or don't bother to attend if ya' want. I don't mind either way," I told her honestly. " You know, it's weird. I keep on saying I have hope, I want to believe I have a small hope of living, but then I forget all about it. It's like…"
"It's like you can't escape the inevitable. Like you're staring in the face of fate."
I nodded in response.
"Yeah. I understand why Class A treats me like the living dead, I get why my family seems to think I have one chance at this, I get why Aizawa wants me to live my life and ignore everything else but-, You understand me, right?" I asked Setsuna. "You understand that I don't really want to die. But I don't want to spend the rest of my short-lived life stuck in a bed knowing that I can die at any moment."
Setsuna sighed, pointing at a building in front of us.
"That's the hospital I spent the majority of my life in," Setsuna explained to me. "The hospital where I lost many things, one of them including my life. I used to hate being confined to my bed. At the end of the day, I fought so hard just to walk around the hospital. I fought so hard for the right to go to school, but it was futile. Nonetheless, I kept on fighting so that one day I'd be able to sit outside the hospital on this bench and eat ice-cream with my friends. Somehow, against all odds, seventeen-years-later here I am."
"...Right. I forgot you died at around our age."
"I died at nineteen. Not much older than us. In fact, there is a chance you might die the same age I did," Setsuna told me. "I don't know what it's worth, but I'm sorry for what you're going to have to go through. I'm sorry that all I can do is just be by your side and not help you at all."
I laughed at that.
"You already are helping me, Setsuna."
"...I am?"
"Yeah!" I nodded at her. "I mean, seriously, you stay by my side no matter what! Even when I'm wrong, you call me out! You help me so much with just life! There isn't anyone else I trust more in the world than you, Setsuna. Honestly. Don't sell yourself short. Ever. If it wasn't for you, I don't know what I'd even be doing right now - Knowing that you're here by my side is all that I need. Crazy to think that we started out as enemies, right?"
Setsuna's eyes widened as she laughed softly.
And it was only now that I realised how beautiful her laugh was.
At how warm her smile made me feel.
In this current moment in time, it wasn't a stretch to say that Setsuna was the Sun that I revolved around. How easily I was drawn to her and her words, how at ease she made me feel about my future.
Truthfully, I was so grateful for Setsuna and her presence in my life.
"Enemies? I used to hate you, Sora," Setsuna admitted. "...And I regret ever doing that. Do you think, had we met when we were both younger, we could have been friends? You know. When you were a bully and I was less refined."
I hummed at that.
"Probably. At the end of the day, you're the only one who gets me."
"Likewise, Sora. There's not anyone else in this world I'd be so willing to share my feelings with on a Summer night like this," Setsuna told me as she stared at the hospital in front of her. "... Come on. Let's go. We don't want to miss our train, do we?"
"Let's stay the night."
"Why?"
"We can explore more of the city you've always dreamed of exploring," I told her. " We can go to Florence, your home city, if you want. I don't mind paying. I'm sure if I explained it to Aizawa, he'd give me money and tell me everything is fine."
But Setsuna shook her head at me.
"Thanks for the offer… but this isn't my home," Setsuna told me. "Truthfully, those dreams belong to a girl that isn't me. A girl from another life that died a long time ago. I lost my chance at living that life, that just means I'm an incomplete person. I'm missing half of the experiences that make you a human. Walking around here even with you and showing you the sights won't change the fact that I died ."
…
"... Are you sure?"
Setsuna nodded gratefully at me.
"I am. Really, thanks. But for so long, I dreaded ever returning to this place. But here I am nonetheless, trying to search for a past that no longer exists," Setsuna told me as she got up from the bench and twirled around on the spot. "I may be an incomplete person, so that just means I have to keep on searching for what will make me complete. That's all, Sora. And I did find the people that make me complete despite me not having a 'past' so to speak. And that's you. That's you, and everyone else."
…
I sighed.
"You know, you really are something."
"W-what?"
"You're a lot stronger than anyone gives you credit for," I told her truthfully. "The way you just roll with everything, the way you're flexible like water. I admire that. In a sense, you push me to be better for myself, Setsuna. Thanks. Really. I don't know what I'd do without you by my side, and that's not an exaggeration."
Her grin was unmistakable.
That was the Setsuna Tokage I knew so well.
My best friend in this world.
"That awfully sounds a lot like praise," Setsuna teased. "My, my, has the one boy who dares to talk back to me decided to stop fighting? Perhaps the world really is coming to an end. What a shame."
"Praise? Why would I ever want to praise you? And I'll never stop calling you a deranged psychopath," I replied with a matching grin. "Don't forget that I'll forever sleep with one eye open because I'm afraid you'll creep into my room holding a knife ready to slash my throat. Honestly, the day you turn into a villain just know I'll never be the one to bring you down."
"Is it because I'm too cute to be brought to justice?"
"It's because it'd be a pain in my fucking ass," I told her truthfully. "...Come on. I suppose we shouldn't loiter any longer else Vlad King's blood vessels will pop. Can you imagine the mess it'd make?"
"Mmh. Especially with Yaoyorozu screaming in our ears telling us we committed a felony."
We both guffawed loudly at that, enjoying what was left of our ice-cream that had melded into one combination. The strawberry swirled around in the pot with the caramel, creating a weird combination with the vanilla on top adding extra flavour.
"... Sora."
"Yeah?"
Setsuna paused, her eyes staring into mine.
"... What does love feel like?"
I hummed at that.
"Love? I… Well, it's hard to explain. To be honest, I think I'm scared of love," I told her honestly, scratching my cheek nervously. "I guess love separates what's real from what isn't real. When Jiro makes me laugh, I know that I can sleep tomorrow. But there is also a part of me that doesn't want to wake up from the dream I'm in - 'Cuz that's what love is. A sleepless dream. Like life, in my opinion. Sorta like the past too in a sense. You're just waiting for the day it clicks and you understand it all. Why? Do you love anyone, Setsuna?"
And to her credit, Setsuna laughed.
"Me? In love? I wish."
I frowned at her.
"We've had this conversation before. I understand why I can't find love, or rather the fact that I'm still in love with Kyoka. But what's stopping you?" I asked her. "Are you sure you don't need me to help you find a nice gentleman here? Or back in Japan, I can be your wingman, honestly-,"
Setsuna shook her head as she laughed even harder.
"Sono accanto al mio caro amato."
I tilted my head in confusion.
"Huh?"
"It's impossible for someone like me to find love. I don't have a past, Sora. I'm incomplete, no one can ever love someone as flawed as me," Setsuna replied with a sigh. "That's just love works. When you love someone you want to know everything there is to know about them, but I don't have that. There isn't anything to know about me. Because I was just a sick girl who wanted a chance at life, I never got to live like you did."
"I died too…"
"But you had the chance of life. I never did."
"So what's the point of today then?"
"I just said goodbye to this place, I never got the chance to after all ," Setsuna told me with a sad smile. " Thanks, Sora. Everyone always talks about how much you've changed, but no one realises how much you've changed our lives. Without you, I never would have been able to do this. To come here. You know, a little off topic, but you could easily get a girl outside of Jiro, right?"
I shrugged my shoulders.
"Probably. But… What good would it do?"
"Right. You're just a fool hopelessly in love with Kyoka Jiro."
"You say it like it's a bad thing."
But Setsuna shook her head at me.
"Love is never a bad thing. But I think I disagree with your shitty description of it," Setsuna told me as she walked forward, fearlessly - Leading the way for me back to the train station. "I think love is like finally realising you belong somewhere to someone. It's like waking up for the first time in ages and seeing the Sun hit your face as the birds chirp. Or something. It's not like I'm in love or anything."
I hummed at that.
"It sounds like you have experience with it."
And Setsuna Tokage laughed at that.
"Me? I told you, didn't I? I'm an incomplete person, I'll never find love."
"Heh," I sighed out, wrapping my arm around her affectionately. "You're wrong. I don't know how to explain it to you, but I think you're wrong. So, I'm gonna do my best to help ya'. It'll be sad if I leave this world knowing that you're alone. So, Venice, here we come!"
"Keep your voice down, idiot."
Another transition chapter.
To be honest, I didn't plan for this chapter to not have much to say. I know it must be a sorry sight for you readers, but, this was an important chapter for me to write out on the subject of love.
Friendships, familial and briefly… romantic.
This was a chapter dedicated to Sora's relationships with those around him, as well as Tokage and some much needed development for her that's been slowly building in the background.
From the girl who was selfish and cared for no one but herself to the woman now who's relying and being relied on - If you can't tell I really love writing Setsuna Tokage in this story. She's probably my favourite character outside of Sora himself, and she's largely an interesting character I've tried to explore the theme of having a past with.
After all she started out wanting what she couldn't have in her previous life, she was a selfish girl who only wanted her own life to improve because she was so sick in her previous life she couldn't even attend school. And now she has a life, but what she wants is sorta' outta reach - Like Sora, her own past (Or in her case, lack of it) haunts her every action.
And I tried my best with Italian in this chapter just based on memory from studying it and studying how some of my family members speak it - But Italian is NOT my forte. Regarding Tokage's usage of the language in this chapter, you could translate it but I don't think it's necessary. It's sorta obvious what she's trying to say if you break it down, and a natural evolution of her character.
This story IS from Sora's limited POV for a reason.
Sure, knowing what Tokage says MAY add some extra context, but it really isn't needed. I think the emotion of the characters and the scene has come across nicely and is why I'm ending the chapter here - It's why while in my notes the chapter went on for longer, I made an executive (Hah, I'm the only loser who works on this story) decision to end it here.
Originally, this was supposed to cover the trip to Venice leading to Class A moving to a different country but it didn't go as planned. If anything, this short international break is turning into a full on slice-of-life segment in this story and I'm sort of pleased about it.
A much needed break is needed, and a chance to explore the character's headspaces is needed. Sora is an eighteen-year-old who knows he's probably going to die and while he's being more open about his emotions thanks to his previously learnt lesson, I don't think it's enough, I want to explore it more.
There is STILL something in his heart preventing him from being truthful to himself.
The past.
The past has and always will be Sora's biggest flaw and it's on full display in this chapter, he really doesn't know how to manage his relationships and the love he holds for them.
I want to explore how the past affects a character like Setsuna Tokage, who was so sick in her previous life that for all intents and purposes this IS her first life - Unlike Sora, this is her first time experiencing school, friends, love and the tragedy of learning to accept others.
Either way, the next chapter will be a funnier one…
Is what I would say. Enjoy Venice, it's a city that holds tons of memories for me!