Chapter Six: Whispers in Wool Socks

Ginny POV

"Ginny?" Hermione called from her sitting room.

"Yeah?" Ginny responded hesitantly as she put the finishing touches on the bacon sandwiches she'd made them.

"Will you stay over tonight? After the break-up I just… Honestly, I don't want to be alone tonight."

Ginny took a deep breath. She knew she shouldn't, not after what Hermione just said about wishing she could find a man just like her, but she couldn't help it – Hermione needed her.

"Of course I will, Hermione," she said as she plated the sandwiches and brought them to Hermione's sitting room. She walked in to see Hermione staring at the red candle that she'd just referred to as the "Ginny candle" – a joke, of course…

Hermione looked from the bacon sandwiches up to Ginny's eyes, and smiled, "You're honestly the best… You know that?"

Ginny nodded and offered Hermione a small smile as she sat down beside her on the sofa. They ate quietly, Ginny noticing how often Hermione looked at the candle, which she figured was just her going through it after yet another break-up.

She'd worked so hard to get up the nerve to talk to Hermione about the other night and eventually about her feelings for the woman, but now she couldn't stop hearing Hermione say: "I just wish there was a man out there that was like you, Ginny"... She couldn't possibly bring it up now – she'd gotten her answer, like she wanted. That was the closure Bill had spoken about, wasn't it? Hermione wanted someone like her, but didn't want her. At least now she could finally accept it, that all they'd ever be was best friends. She didn't have to overthink anymore, she could just be Hermione's best friend, knowing for sure there would never be anything more.

"So…" Ginny broke the silence, "What do you want to do today?"

"Honestly, a day in sounds amazing… Just lazing around the house in some comfy clothes and cozy wool socks… Doesn't that sound nice?" Hermione asked.

Ginny agreed, "Yeah, it does. Kind of reminds me of summers at the Burrow when we were kids and didn't have work or school to worry about."

Hermione nodded, "That's exactly what I had in mind. Except, the weather outside may not be as warm as it usually was when I'd stay with you and your family..."

Ginny smiled, "Wool socks in your cozy cottage in October is far better than trying to beat the August heat in my book, have you got an extra pair for me?"

Hermione smiled back and put her plate down on the coffee table before getting up and motioning for Ginny to follow. Ginny followed her up the narrow staircase to Hermione's second floor.

Hermione's bedroom looked like the rest of her cottage, with only a few less books than her sitting room. There was a tidy brick fireplace on one side of the room, a large window on the other, and her pristinely made bed sat in between. Hermione opened the trunk at the foot of her bed and began rifling through it, before she held up two pairs of wool socks.

"Are they clean…?" Ginny asked as seriously as she could, unable to contain the hint of a smile that appeared on her lips as she took a pair from Hermione.

Hermione rolled her eyes, shook her head, and smiled, "Yes, mum. I don't tend to put dirty socks in with my clean clothes… You can always Scourgify them if you don't trust me…"

Ginny grinned at Hermione's use of her own words against her, "I trust you, Hermione."

Hermione smiled back as she closed her trunk, sitting on it to put the socks on. Ginny sat beside her, peeling off her cotton socks to replace them with Hermione's wool socks. They made their way back downstairs, and got comfortable in Hermione's sitting room with a match of Wizard's Chess, yet another game that they were evenly matched in. After Ginny won two games out of three, they moved to the kitchen where Hermione decided to make dinner, with Ginny's assistance, of course.

After they were done eating and Ginny was washing plates in the sink, she began thinking that maybe she could do this after all. She could be Hermione's friend and only her friend. She was doing it right now and it was just fine. She'd have to find someone someday that'd be right for her, and maybe now that she had closure with Hermione, she could actually find that person.

Once she was done in the kitchen, Ginny found Hermione curled up on the sofa in the sitting room reading a book by the light of the still-lit candle. Ginny took a deep settling breath, reminding herself of the closure she now had, that it didn't matter how beautiful Hermione looked beneath the candlelight, she would never be interested in her. She sat down beside Hermione, wringing her hands slightly.

"Have you read the Daily Prophet lately?" Hermione asked without looking up from her book.

Ginny looked at the coffee table, spotting a copy of the Daily Prophet immediately, as her face was on the front cover.

Weasley Leads Harpies to Whopping Win

Her mum had gushed about the article, but she hadn't yet gotten around to reading it. As Ginny picked it up and began to read, Hermione scooched over, leaned her back against the armrest of the sofa, and stretched her legs out so they rested across Ginny's lap. Ginny didn't dare move, she didn't dare breathe. She pretended to read the article as she tried to steady herself, hoping she wasn't giving away the fact that she was hopelessly, irreversibly in love with this woman. Even with the closure she now had, she couldn't just erase the feelings in one go. Why, why did this have to be so unbelievably difficult? Hermione was right, falling in love was ridiculously hard…

She could feel Hermione's dark brown eyes on her, so she chanced a look and saw that Hermione was indeed looking at her.

"What?" Ginny asked, managing to keep her voice casual.

"I – If you don't want to sleep on the sofa tonight, we could share my bed, like we did at your flat?"

Ginny didn't know what to say. A few days ago at her flat it'd been cold, so it made perfect sense for Hermione to want to share a bed with her then, but now? Hermione's cottage was plenty warm, and her sofa was comfortable enough.

"You can sleep down here if you want, of course. I just thought that you'd want to sleep somewhere more comfortable? I mean, you are a professional athlete, Ginny… I probably should've never let you sleep on the sofa to begin with, and – "

"Hermione," Ginny interjected, cutting off the other woman's rambling. "If you're alright with it, I'm alright with it."

Hermione furrowed her brow, "Why wouldn't I be alright with it?"

Ginny blushed slightly, "Well, because of what happened last time? I – I don't know how my arm ended up around you, and I'm sorry that it did, but with me fancying women and all, I'd understand if – "

"Ginevra Weasley, don't be ridiculous! It was cold, I was more than happy to share body heat with you, and I don't care if you fancy women or not. You don't have to apologize," she said firmly.

"Then why did you leave so early?"

Hermione gaped at her for a moment before responding, "I – I left you a note. I had an early morning date with Edward and – "

"You're sure it wasn't because I'd made you uncomfortable?"

"Of course it wasn't! Ginny, I'm sorry that I left so early without saying goodbye. I was just feeling a little off, but it's in the past now. Do you believe me?"

Ginny ran a hand through her long red hair and nodded, "I believe you."

"I won't force you to do anything, Ginny, but if you think you'd be more comfortable upstairs and would rather not share a bed with me, I could – "

"No. Hermione, it's alright. Sharing a bed with you tonight sounds great – I'm sure my coach would approve."

"Good," Hermione said with a satisfied smile as she returned to her book.

Ginny didn't know what to do or think anymore. She was trying to force herself to remember the closure she'd received, to remind herself not to overthink things, to just be a friend. Perhaps if she made it through this evening, it'd be a big first step towards actually closing the door on all of this ridiculous thinking, on the notion that she and Hermione could be more than what they were.

They read quietly for a while, Hermione moving quickly through her book and Ginny casually flipping through the Daily Prophet, all the while Hermione's wool socked feet remained in Ginny's lap. After what felt like an eternity had passed, Hermione set her feet on the ground, blew out the candle, and turned to Ginny.

"Well, shall we?" she asked.

Ginny nodded and followed her upstairs. As Hermione got ready in the bathroom, Ginny changed into an overlarge Harpies jumper she'd left at Hermione's a few weeks ago, as well as a pair of Hermione's joggers that she had to magically enlarge to fit her muscular thighs. She walked into the bathroom and joined Hermione in brushing her teeth. Hermione finished before her and went to her room to change, leaving Ginny alone in the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, forcing herself to get herself together. She could do this. She could sleep in the same bed with Hermione. Friends did this, it'd be fine. Hopefully this time she'd stay still in her sleep and keep her bloody hands to herself. She splashed a bit of cold water on her face, took a deep breath, then left for Hermione's room.

Hermione was already in bed, tucked beneath her covers, with Crookshanks curled up at her feet. Ginny grinned and pet the large ginger cat for a while, grateful for the distraction from having to join Hermione in her bed. Eventually, she kissed Crookshanks affectionately on the head and moved to the other side of the bed and climbed in, making sure to stay as far as she could away from Hermione. Hermione put out the light, and suddenly they were cloaked in complete darkness, except for tiny bits of light from the stars in the sky glowing through the window.

Just as Ginny was finally relaxed enough to fall asleep, she heard a whisper from the opposite side of the bed.

"Ginny?"

"…Yeah?"

"How did you know you fancied women?"

Ginny was silent.

"I – I just feel like we've never really discussed it before…"

Again, Ginny was silent. She wasn't sure how to react, or why Hermione would be asking this.

"Sorry… I shouldn't have asked…"

"No, no… It's fine. Um…"

Ginny frantically tried to come up with a story of her gay awakening that didn't include the true story of watching Hermione dancing with Viktor Krum at the Yule Ball and wanting to rip his head off.

"Do you remember Katie Bell?"

"Yes? Oh, was she your first crush?"

No… That would be you, Hermione…

"Yeah, she was my first crush. And that was really it. Just as you know you fancy men because you had crushes on boys in school, I knew I fancied women because I had crushes on girls in school…"

"I see…"

Ginny was quiet, hoping this conversation would end. Why, on the night Ginny had decided to finally accept she and Hermione would never be anything more than friends, was Hermione insisting on asking these questions? What was with her lately? Again, Hermione's whisper broke the silence.

"Did you ever kiss Katie? I don't recall knowing who your first kiss actually was…"

"No… Never kissed Katie… Demelza Robins was my first kiss…"

"What? She was in your dormitory, and your teammate!"

Ginny laughed lightly at Hermione's scandalized reaction, "Well yeah, we had plenty of time together, so it wasn't that hard to find time to kiss…"

"Did you date her? How did I not know about this?"

"No, we didn't date, I was really more of an experiment for her that led to her realizing she fancied girls as well as boys."

"But isn't she married to Ritchie Coote?"

"Yeah…? Just because she ended up with a man, doesn't mean that she's straight… Just as if she'd ended up with a woman, it wouldn't have made her a lesbian... Either way, still bisexual..."

Hermione was quiet, and Ginny was hoping that meant the conversation was over.

"You really never tell me anything about your love life, Ginny… Like, what's it like to kiss a woman? I'd imagine it'd be quite nice…"

Ginny really had no idea what to say now. Why was Hermione saying any of this? If she wasn't her best friend, she'd think Hermione was trying to torture her…

"I think I'd like to try it at least once…"

Best friend or not, Hermione was undoubtedly trying to torture her. All of a sudden, Ginny felt Hermione shift in the bed, and knew that she was facing her now. Ginny stayed where she was, frozen on the far edge of the bed, her eyes fixed firmly on the dark ceiling.

"Ginny…"

Ginny didn't respond. There were so many times she'd imagined this scenario, so many times she'd wished it had happened, but right now it didn't seem right…

"Ginny…?"

"Hermione, I can't…"

"It doesn't have to mean anything, I'm just curious as to what it'd feel like and – "

"Hermione, I really don't think it's a good idea…"

"Why not?" Hermione asked, and Ginny winced at the hurt in her voice.

"I – I just don't want to risk anything ruining our friendship…"

Hermione was the one who was silent now.

"I'm sorry…" Ginny whispered.

"No, Ginny, you shouldn't be the one who is apologizing here. I'm not sure what I was thinking. I – I think my brain's a bit fried after the break-up, and it's been a long week of work… I'm just not myself right now… I'm sorry. And thank you, for sticking up for our friendship. I wouldn't want to risk it either."

"Of course…" Ginny managed.

"Goodnight, Ginny."

"Goodnight, Hermione."

Ginny felt Hermione roll away from her, facing the other side of the bed, and Ginny did the same, rolling onto her side. She had literally imagined that exact scenario so many times before, and instead of embracing it and sweeping Hermione off her feet like she'd always envisioned she would, she'd shut the woman down. She turned down the woman of her dreams. Ginny shut her eyes tight, hoping she'd fall asleep quickly, because she didn't want to think about what she'd just done any longer.