xxv. bloodstained / 79 a.d.d
Achilles doesn't want to touch her anymore.
The deal Florence made with him and Patroclus was fairly simple — the two of them spar to decide who will accompany her in the arena, and who will stay at home to marry her in the event that she wins.
But now, they lay in bed in Florence's new mansion, and Achilles seems afraid of her, and worse, she knows exactly why.
"I'm sorry I killed him," she says. "I know you guys were best friends."
But Florence also knows that Patroclus was about to kill her first. Was she just supposed to stand still and let him, giving up years of training? She was as quick with killing him as she could've been, partially because he was so damn stunned, he practically just let it happen.
She isn't happy about it either, trust. Whenever she's alone for too long, she see's Patroclus in her mind's eye, reminding her that she'll always be stained with the blood of his memory.
"I knew him before I knew you," Achilles points out.
"I don't know what to tell you."
Is it wrong that Florence thought he would be one of the only people there for her when she got home. Her parents don't even pretend to understand, but Achilles got as close to volunteering as possible.
Why hasn't he considered that Patroclus was her best friend too?
Maybe nobody will ever understand her. Lalo and her couldn't be more different, so they're no help either.
Florence is beginning to understand why so many victors die young. It's hard to live when every day is an attempt to justify the death of twenty-five others.
She gets up to the bed, if she's about to cry, it can't be in front of Achilles, but he tugs on her wrist.
"Hey," he softly says. "Just because I don't understand now doesn't mean I'm not willing to learn. Somehow, I think it's what Patroclus would want."
That Florence isn't sure about, but she'll take Achilles promise to try over being alone forever.