A moment, a breath, a whisper. And just like that life is over. One opportunity, one chance is all we get. Everyone lives only once. At least that's how poets put it. But I got a second chance at life and I'm going to make the most of it. All those broken and fragile pieces will hopefully one day fall into place. One day the world won't be so broken. Right now it's just easing onto the edge of wholeness but inside of me, I'm nowhere near to being whole. I'm mentally shaken. But I have to keep moving forward even when every ounce of my mind is screaming at me to just let go. That's what courage is. Pressing forward even though you might not win but sometimes you do. I got lucky a few weeks ago. I had died and come back to life. I can't take it for granted. And all those people. Good people. The people I loved. Gone. They didn't have a second chance.
I raked a hand through my hair and rubbed my hands over my face. Sitting on the edge of my bed I listened to the quietness and tried to match that to my mind. Someday the nightmares would go away. Someday the echoes of people screaming would fade.
Reaching for the nightstand I found my glasses and slipped them on. My room came into focus. It was half bare. The dresser was filled with my clothes, the closet had memorabilia inside of it, and the walls had two posters. One of the Chudley Canons and the other of England's National Football Team. The Chudley Canons poster was more interesting because the image moved. The football was just frozen men all looking in one direction. Today this room which was once Bill Weasley's room would be full of all my stuff. There was just one box hiding in the corner that I couldn't quite bring myself to unpack.
Fred's Wizard Wheezes box he had gotten me.
Sighing, I stood up. I froze when I locked eyes with the England football team poster. Their eyes stared me down. I knew it was just a photograph and that this one couldn't move because it was made by Muggles, but for some reason, the way that all their eyes bore into me, caused me to feel weird. My mind retreated back to the thoughts that replayed in my mind every day since just a few weeks ago. I should've died and accepted it as a muggle does. All those men on that team will all die and there's no doubt about that. I on the other hand did die. And I came back. I felt my breath getting faster. My hands were shaking. A scream was rising in my throat. I couldn't take this weight on my shoulders. I couldn't live with all those people who weren't able to live again on my hands.
Suddenly a knock on the door brought me back. I breathed deeply. In out. In out.
"Harry?" The voice of Molly Weasley came through. "Harry, breakfast is on the table if you would like to come down."
I couldn't speak for a minute. When I found my voice I said, "Thank you. I'll think about it." My voice sounded flat and dead.
"Whatever you like dear. Just make sure you eat." Molly's tone became fierce. "There's no way on earth that you are living here as you did with your dreadful aunt and uncle."
That made me chuckle a little bit. "Never once here have I felt that. Thank you so much, Molly."
"Of course dear." Her voice was sweet again. I heard her footsteps all the way back down the stairs.
The minute Molly Weasly is up, you know the rest of the house is. Because the minute I heard her start to make breakfast, doors opening and closing, the talking starting, the quiet burrow alive.
Sitting back down on my bed I sighed.
Suddenly a dark woosh outside my window caught my eye. I stood up and looked out. Ginny was out on her broomstick. She hovered near my window. When she turned around our eyes met. She smiled and waved. I smiled back and put my hand up. She turned back around and flew off. I watched her and felt my smile widen. Her red hair whipped around her yet it was beautiful. You could see the passion of quidditch and flying emitting out of her by how wide her smile was and how she easily maneuvered around the ball that was chucked at her. She was so beautiful. I looked down and noticed Geroge hovering on a broom throwing the balls at her.
After coming back to the burrow and staying with the Weaslys before I found a place of my own and job was the best and worst decision. I got food, a bed, my best friends with me, and…Ginny. I saw Ginny every day for the past two weeks and we'd only spoken twice. Once when I unpacked here and she said she was glad I was here, and another time just the other day when I was helping Ron go through job ideas. She had made a comment to me that this would be harder than trying to get Ron to go clean out their attic. This made me laugh. But those had been our only two interactions. That, and awkward glances at each other at dinner and in passing. Hermione gave me a major talking to about how I needed to pull my shit together and just talk to her.
But I don't have my shit together. I never did. And I don't think I ever will.
After watching for a bit I decided to join everyone downstairs. I changed out of my pajama pants and shirt and changed into some jeans and a T-shirt. I grabbed my wand and slid it into my back pocket.
Breakfast was absolutely delicious! I could've enjoyed it though if it hadn't been for Ron and Hermione shouting at each other. The two lovebirds were robbing me of my morning. I guess Ron had forgotten their date last night and Hermione finding later that he had gotten lost. She wasn't mad at him being late. Or was she? Or was she mad at him because he was lost? I will never understand girls. But it was a poor move on Ron's part.
"Ron, I said that we would meet at the restaurant at 6:30." Hermione stared him down.
"For the millionth time, I'm sorry!" Ron gave an exasperated sigh. "We'll go out tonight!"
"Let's hope you know your way out the door then!" Hermione yelled.
Ron gave me a pleading look.
"Sorry Ron," I said. "This is all you." I went back to eating my egg.
"Now what in the world is going on here?!" Molly Weasley walked into the kitchen.
"Ronald forgot our date last night," Hermione told her, fuming. Ron's face shrunk under the table more when Molly's eyes shot at him like killer darts.
"RONALD WEASLEY!" Molly slammed her hand on the table.
That was my cue to leave. I stood up quickly and dropped my plate in the sink. Hurriedly walking out the front door I sighed. You could still hear the shouts.
("I know you're an adult now, but I'm still your mother! I hope you take sweet darling Hermione to the finest place possible. And don't even think that the money will be coming out of my pocket!") Molly's earth-rattling voice rang.
"What's goin' on in there?" George asked as I walked up to him and Ginny.
"Ron forgot about his and Hermione's date," I explained.
"Ahh." Ginny laughed. "He'll be getting it rough."
Ginny's laugh rang through my ears. My heart was pounding.
"That's some nice flying I saw you doing just a minute ago." I gently nudged Ginny on the shoulder with my fist. Gosh, why'd I do that? She just smiled. "Thanks." She softly punched me back in the arm in a friendly way. "I'm training to join the Holyhead Harpies."
"Oh, that's right," I remembered her saying something about that.
"Well, you sure you can make the team Weasley?" I said playfully and raised my eyebrows at her.
"Oh, Potter you're on." She grinned wickedly. "First one to that tree and back here wins." She pointed off into the distance into the rolling fields at a lone tree that had white leaves hanging from its branches.
"This'll be good." George grinned. "Two best quidditch players against each other. Ginny keeps time."
Ginny glared at him and gave him a funny look. "You are not in this race George. Also, you were a terrible beater." She grinned again. I laughed at George's fake offended face.
"You're the one keeping time brother." Ginny raised her eyebrows at him.
We all suddenly jumped as we heard Molly's voice book out again. "THEN GO FIND A JOB RIGHT NOW AND STOP SITTING AROUND HERE ALL DAY!!"
"Ohhh" George laughed and snapped his fingers. "Ron is not going to come out of this alive. I'm going to go check out the damage. You two have fun."
Me and Ginny both laughed and rolled our eyes.
I suddenly grew nervous as George ran away.
Me and Ginny were alone.
"Alright, you ready?" Ginny mounted her broom. I picked up George's broom and mounted it. The way she smiled at me drove my nerves away.
My feet were firmly planted on the ground ready to kick off and I grinned wickedly back at Ginny.
"Eat my dust, Potter." Ginny smiled.
"You sound just like a Malfoy."
She did the same fake offended look as George. It was so crazy how all the Weasley children looked so alike. All fiery red hair and freckles.
"But more beautiful of course." I slyly smiled at her.
"A gentleman now are we?" Ginny raised her eyebrows.
"Okay let's do this." I looked ahead at the tree.
"Three…" Ginny counted. "Two…. One go!" She took off before I knew what was happening. After a whip of red and a zoom of her past me, I shot off.
This felt amazing—the wind flying at my face. The feet just grazed the tips of the grass. I needed this. I needed this badly.
I reached the tree only less than a second after Ginny. She grinned at me on her way back sticking her tongue out at me. I rolled my eyes, grinned, and stuck my tongue out right back at her. She was correct though. I did indeed eat her dust. I touched back down at the start.
Ginny hovered in her broom with a smirk. "What took you so long?"
"Oh shut up." I shook my head at her but I felt myself smiling a little. Something about the way she teased me did something to my stomach. I didn't know what it was. "You cheated anyway."
Her mouth gaped. "How did I cheat?"
"You said 'go' too fast," I said. It came to my attention that we naturally came closer to each other. We were only a few inches apart.
"Is Harry Potter getting old?" Ginny raised an eyebrow at me.
"Shut up." I grinned.
She just laughed.
"You know you're worse than your brothers, did you know that?" I smiled and laughed.
"Maybe." She had a knowing smile. Ugh, I just wanted to kiss that smile. I forgot how easy it was to be around Ginny. It almost felt like we were back at Hogwarts on our lazy Saturday afternoons together. It was effortless. I felt my best self around her. Gingerly, my fingers brushed some strands of her hair behind her ear. I heard her breath suck in.
Without even thinking, I leaned forward and pressed my lips firmly against hers.
Who cares about pulling my shit together Hermione.
My heart fluttered when I felt her kissing me back. My hand went to the back of her head and I pulled her closer to me. I felt her arms go around my neck. The tight knot that's been in my chest ever since the war loosened just a little bit.
"You know Harry," the shift in her voice made things calmer. "I've missed you." Her shining eyes met mine.
"I've missed you too," I told her. I breathed. "Could we maybe try things together again?" I held my breath.
"Ya." She sighed smiling. "I would like that."
I let out the breath I was holding.
"Could we take it… slow though?" Ginny asked. She laid her head against my chest and I stroked her hair. "Of course," I said. "I'm not dying any time soon."
"Oh, I hope not. You already died once" Ginny looked at me. "Though we might need to put you in a wheelchair. Maybe put you on some pain meds. Harry Potter isn't doing so well these days." Her voice went deeper into a news reporter style. I rolled my eyes. "Breaking news. The famous Harry Potter, the savior of the world, falls off his broom in a race because the word "go" was said too fast."
I just rolled my eyes and chuckled. "You are ridiculous."
She just grinned. "Ready for the next race?" She broke out of my arms and gripped her broom tightly.
"Oh, I'm ready this time. Not falling for any of your tricks, witch." I taunted.
"Three…" Ginny started counting.
"Two, one, go." I finished counting for her and zoomed off laughing as I heard her loud gasp.
Things would turn out all right. I hope so. Right now everything was at least. Ginny is my breath of fresh air. She's the moment I want to live every day with. And her name is the whisper I hear in the wind. Along with her laugh and my laugh ringing across the fields.
My second chance would be with her.
We touched back down on the ground underneath the tree.
I sat down against the tree trunk and Ginny sat close to me. Her face grew forlorn and distant.
"Hey," I said, gently taking her hand. "What's wrong?"
"I guess…l" she sighed. "I still miss Fred so much. And Remus and Tonks and…everyone. They are always there in the back of my mind and I can't seem to shake them away. Even when I'm having such a wonderful time, like right now."
I knew exactly how she felt.
"I know it's time to move on or something like that, that's what the daily prophet keeps going on about," Ginny mocked the ministry, "Keep pressing forward, a great new era is beginning, the past is in the past."
This made me let out a hollow chuckle. "Well it's all absolute shit." I told her. This made her laugh too.
"It's gonna take a long time to get over them." She sighed.
"Same." I thought about Sirius. It'd been almost three years and I still hadn't gotten over his death. "Hey, but I know I can at least survive with you still here." I squeezed her hand.
Ginny looked in my eyes. I felt like I could drown in them. Suddenly they become more serious. "Fuck taking it slow." She grabbed the front of my shirt and kissed me like I was the air she breathed. I smiled against her lips and tightened my arms around her, pulling her on top of me. I slipped my tongue into her mouth and she moaned. She threaded her fingers through my messy hair, making it even more untidy, wanting to get as much of me as possible. I met her with the same passion and urgency. All I could smell was Ginny. All I could taste was Ginny. All I wanted was to be with Ginny. But I could tell this was about to cross the line, where clothes were going to come off and there was something deeper in this sudden act of passion. So reluctantly I pulled away.
"You're right." Ginny laughed a bit, flustered, understanding my thought process. "I gotta say though, emotional kissing is pretty hot."
I laughed, and pulled her against me. "You can smother our depression by kissing me all you like any time you want. "
We laughed together at that. But then Ginny noted, "probably not the best way to get over grief."
"You're probably right. But it's definitely a hot way."
We laughed again. We were so ridiculous.
Ginny leaned her head down on my chest. Softly smiling, I stroked her fireiry hair and played with the strands. It was very therapeutic for me.
"You know I have to go to Hogwarts again for my last year next month." Ginny softly said, breaking the peaceful silence.
"Oh I forgot about that. I won't be there." I realized. I found myself spilling all my thoughts to Ginny. "Hogwarts was my true home. I always felt safe there, even if Voldemort was trying to murder me every year"
I felt Ginny shudder at my comment. "Sorry," She explained. "I just don't wanna hear about you getting killed."
"Oh my sorry" I pressed a kiss to her head. I stayed silent
"You can keep talking." Ginny quietly murmured, "I like hearing your voice. It's good to talk about these things too." She scooted up closer, wrapping her arms around me, repositioning her head on my chest. It was the most comfortable I had ever been.
So as I trailed my fingers up down her back and through her hair, I kept talking.
"I hated being with my Aunt and Uncle. They didn't understand or want to understand. I was just there. But at Hogwarts, I felt more connected to my parents than staying with my family. If I even wanna call them family" I muttered quietly. "But now I have to get a job."
"You'd be incredible at anything." Ginny said, "Well, maybe except for a job with Divination."
I laughed. "There's a lot of things I suck at."
"No there's not." Ginny lightly slapped my chest. "You always self-deprecate yourself!" She was rolling her eyes.
"Sorry, I'm working on it." I said with a small smile, loving how worried she got for me. "I think I'm going to be an Auror though."
"That suits you." Ginny said.
"You would be amazing in anything though. Truly." I said.
"I already know what I wanna do after Hogwarts." She smiled.
"Let me guess," I grinned, looking at her, "History Professor at Hogwarts."
I got another light slap. This made me laugh. "I'm just joking."
She side-eyed me.
"You are going to be the greatest quidditch players the Holyhead Harpies will ever see." I leaned down and kissed her nose."
"Correction, the world has ever seen." Ginny grinned.
"If you're going to be a quidditch player, is there any reason you have to go back to Hogwarts and leave me to go chase after other guys?"
She laughed. "I would never." Ginny leaned up and kissed my lips.
"I'm just joking." I smiled.
"Well, I have to get good grades too to make an impression on the harpies that I work hard. And if I didn't go to my last year, mom would kill me. And I don't have the excuse of saving the world to get me out of it." She signed. "But I could always sneak you in." She lifted her eyebrows up and down, a sly smile spreading across her lips.
I laughed again. "Such a rule-breaker. Actually more like law-breaker."
"Throw me in Azkaban then. I wouldn't have to go to school and you would break me out." She joked.
"Would I though?" I looked at her.
Another light slap.
"Of course I would break you out if Azkaban." I laughed. "I hope I never see that day though"
"Ginny's going to Azkaban?!?" A voice interrupted our little bubble.
We both bolted up and sprung away from each other. Old habits die hard.
Ron and Hermione were walking towards us, clearly having figured things out by the way they were glued side by side to each other. It was almost like Ginny could read my thoughts cause she let out a loud snort.
"No." I told Ron who had a shocked look on his face. "Ginny isn't going to Azkaban."
"Phew." Ron sighed. "I don't need one more thing on top of everything else."
"Everything else—meaning trying to remember when 6:30 is?" Ginny asked. It took all my will power to hold my laugh in. Hermione started laughing loudly.
"Well jokes on you, we figured things out already." Ron said, taking Hermione's hand.
"It's true," Hermione said. "I've told him I'm getting him a new watch"
All of us, excluding Ron, were laughing.
"When one of you messes up with the time there is going to be hell to pay." Ron threatened.
This made us laugh harder because the notion was so ridiculous.
Hermione took his face in his hand. "It's alright sweetie, we're just joking." She kissed him who immediately kissed her back.
"Let's leave this couple to themselves." Ginny stood up and grabbed my hand, pulling me away from the snogging couple.
"But that was our tree."
We both looked back at it. The two were still going at it strong.
"How do they breathe?" Ginny asked.
"I don't know." I shook my head. "I'm just wondering why they came over to us in the first place if they were just going to start snogging."
She laughed. I made a promise to myself that I was going to try and make Ginny laugh all the time because it was pure music.
"I'm wondering when he's going to pop the question." I told Ginny.
"He's going to ask her to marry him?!?" Ginny was shocked.
"Oops" I cringed. "I wasn't supposed to say anything. Don't tell anyone. Especially Ron, that you know."
"I promise." She said, "But only if you get to tell him that we're back together."
I rolled my eyes. It would be just as awkward as before, knowing Ron. "Fine, deal. You witch."
Ginny just smiled.
I stopped us before we went back inside and kissed her deeply. She leaned into me, completing me.
Then taking her hand we went back inside the burrow. Back inside our home.