Disclaimer: Don't own.

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Jade had always told herself, as long as her eyes were closed, it wasn't real. A defense from her youth, that dark time she refused to face, that helped shape her into the monster she'd become. 'If I keep my eyes closed, it's not real.'

It never worked.

Like the time she kept her eyes closed, but her father left her mother anyways. Sure, it was for a very good reason, the indecent she refused to talk about, the abuse, it HAD been because her mother was having an affair, and the man had a taste for children. Still, Jade had closed her eyes, refused to see, and her dad still left. Worse, He still left her. To that day, emotionally, the man has never come back.

Or that time when her mother started to try and rebuild the family, and started doing those claasses, leading to those events… Jade hated those classes, being forced to learn things she hopes to never use. Admittedly, it led to her meeting Cat, and auditioning at Hollywood Arts, but at the time, Jade hated her mother, hated the whole experience, and so she resisted as much as she could, until finally, closing her eyes wasn't enough, and she'd given in.

And right now, despite the warmth she was feeling along the whole front of her body, Jade refused to open her eyes. If she did, then last night was real, and the goth wasn't ready to admit that yet.

Last night was Lauren Marsden's coming out party, and Jade had gone, simply because they'd broken up again, and she knew Lauren was close to Beck. She wanted Beck, and most likely Tori, to see here there, having fun, enjoying her life, and not at home stewing over being dumped just a month ago. Jade felt she'd let them have their space long enough, and was determined to prove she was out, available, and flirting her ass off. Assuming, of course, she could remember how to flirt.

Jade was no stranger to coming out to society. Her mother taught Cotillion Season, classes in educate and social graces that once was explained as learning all the social graces needed to survive in eighteenth century Vienna. She'd even attended one cotillion and two debutante balls, all when she was sixteen, at her mothers behest. Many girls wait, the accepted age is between sixteen and twenty one, but her mother pushed, and Jade acquiesced. Jade had hated it, the classes, the expectations, even the fricking gown. She remembered her first event, the cotillion, and how she kept her eyes closed, telling herself it wasn't real. It had been one of the high points of her life, surpassed only by the more girl focused debutante balls. Jade hated to admit it, but she'd loved almost every part of those events.

Last night had been very different. Jade had gone to the event, expecting something familiar. Only Lauren had meant something completely different when she said it as her coming out party. Jade was first aware something was different when they explained the yarn, the makeshift bracelets in Red and Green. "Red means stop, green means GO." That, and the complete lack of boys at the party, were her first clue that this was a support party for a girl announcing she was a lesbian.

'Should have been guys there. I mean, Red meant straight, while green was gay or bi curious. Amazing how many people chose green….' Jade thought, and opened her eyes, to peek at the green yarn around her own writ. 'I thought I could use the ego boost. I mean, no one was gonna force me to do anything.'

In that moment, she saw it, the brown hair of the girl she'd let take her to bed the night before, one of the few people to use the available rooms for anything beyond a touch of exploring. Only, it was Vega, Tori. Both girls had been there, exploring their options, green yarn on their wrist, and Jade had been approached by Tori. 'More then approached. God, she was driven, every line, every touch, every moment we were talking, she made it very clear she wanted more, and I… I let her have it all. No idea why, except when she asked, I said yes. And.. and we slept together. Sex, Jade, no excuses, no cutesy names like snoodling. We fucked, and now… Now I need to take care of this, cause I opened my eyes, and it's fucking real.'

Jade inhaled, intent on saying something. Only words failed her.

"You know," Tori started, "Last night, when I promised something, I think I meant it." The Latina turned in the pale girls arms, facing her. "Morning."

"Morning." Jade agreed.

"I think I promised you'd be my girlfriend if you'd let me have a feel."

Jade looked into those coffee brown eyes, and for a moment, contemplated this being a one night stand. "I think you did." Thought Jade had no recollection of half that conversation. It had just been blinding passion, two people letting their animal desire drive them.

"So…" Tori looked straight through her. "I guess we're dating. I'll have to tell Trina."

"Are you hoping she's still here, or went home?" Jade asked.

"Honestly, I don't care." Tori explained, standing up, naked, and seeking her phone. "Her life, her choices. Just, as long as she accepts this happened."

"Let her know I'm driving you home." Jade decided. "Might as well face the parents now. I mean, this, it feels like we're pretty committed."

Tori laughed. "Sure." And sent her text.

'Sometimes, opening your eyes can be a good thing.' Jade told herself, even as she braced for this new, terrifying experience. Jade hated the period when she was out of control, and she knew she'd never really control Tori. It excited her, though, the thought of being with the Latina. 'Yea, so glad I opened my eyes.'

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Okay, this was fun to write, even though it had aspects I never expected, even as I was googling Cotillion and debutantes. So, what do you think, and do you agree with Jade about keeping your eyes closed? Thoughts.