Chapter 10 - Doomsday
The CDC
Tess was awake well before anyone else the following morning, having slept terribly. Her brain wouldn't shut up and never slept very well after a night of drinking anyway. She took her time in the shower, savoring the peace and quiet. She didn't know what was in store for them today but she knew most people would be too hungover to want to do very much at all.
She redressed in the same clothes from earlier and walked back into the communal washroom with her backpack, the top of her rifle sticking out the top. To her surprise, someone else had gotten up now too. Shane. She glowered at him and cursed the awful timing. He hadn't seen her yet and Tess thought about backing up slowly back into the shower stall. He looked preoccupied, his mind somewhere else entirely and he had three long scratches down his chin and neck. Those certainly hadn't been there yesterday.
"The hell happened to you?" She asked him hesitantly. His head whipped up at her and he looked at her in surprise.
His hand instinctively came up to cover the scratches and he stepped toward one of the mirrors, looking at them like he hadn't known they were there; even though he seemed to know exactly what she was talking about. He examined himself like he was annoyed by how visible they were and Tess watched him suspiciously.
"I guess I scratched myself in my sleep." He suddenly said, brushing it off like it was nothing but Tess wasn't all that convinced by his excuse.
"Must've been one hell of an itch…"
"What? You don't believe me?" He rebutted, his calm demeanor gone.
"Can't say I do." She told him evenly and he stalked closer to her.
"Well good luck trying to prove otherwise." Tess glared at him. "Maybe I'll just tell people you did it?" He smirked menacingly, and Tess marched toward him, pissed off now and coming toe to toe with him.
"Whatever you did to deserve that, you'd be getting a lot more than just a scratch if you did it to me."
"Feisty." Shane chuckled like everything was a big joke, which only served to anger her further and she was tempted to draw her handgun, her fingers hovering over it warily.
She wasn't able to process the thought much further before the door to the washroom opened and a tired looking Andrea walked in. She looked at them surprised and Tess stepped back perhaps a little too quickly. Andrea was eyeing them both curiously, not having missed, what she thought, was a heated moment of a different kind between the two.
"Don't let me interrupt you, I just came to throw up for the millionth time." She groaned sullenly and trudged past them, deciding she didn't care and Tess took the opportunity to leave before she did something she'd regret
—
As it turned out, Tess wasn't the only one surprised by Shane's appearance that morning, many of the others questioning him about it as well. All except for Lori. Initially, Tess hadn't paid it much thought but as the morning wore on and she noticed the wary glances she kept sending Shane's way, decided she must've been his assailant. Was she afraid he'd say something? He hadn't yet, other than the same pathetic excuse he'd given Tess earlier and he didn't appear to be willing to spill the beans any time soon. Which only meant that whatever argument or incident that went down between the two of them was bad news for the both of them.
Tess was sitting at the table with the rest of the group, her empty plate which had been filled with powdered eggs sitting in front of her and she toyed with her fork absentmindedly. Doctor Jenner finally joined them in the dining hall and Rick was quick to grab his attention,
"Doc, I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing-"
"But you will anyway." Jenner interrupted him, visibly annoyed but acquiesced nonetheless.
"We didn't come here for the eggs."
—
Back in the same giant lab Jenner had taken them to yesterday, the group waited patiently for what he was about to show them.
"VI, give me playback of TS-19."
"Playback of TS-19." VI's robotic voice answered above them.
"Few people ever got a chance to see this." Jenner continued on ominously, "Very few." On the screen in front of them, a black and white image appeared.
"Is that a brain?" Lori asked and Tess stepped closer to get a better look.
"An extraordinary one. Not that it matters in the end. Take us in for E.I.V."
"Enhanced internal view." Echoed VI and image zoomed in.
"What are those lights?"
"It's a person's life… experiences, memories. It's everything." Tess gaped at the video, suddenly feeling very small and insignificant. "Somewhere in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light, is you… the thing that makes you unique. And human." If Tess was ever going to have an existential crisis, it was now.
"You don't make sense ever?" Daryl griped, no following along. Jenner sighed impatiently,
"Those are synapses, electrical impulses in the brain that carry all the messages. They determine everything a person says, does or thinks from the moment of birth to the moment of death." Tess looked away from the screen and over her shoulder at Jenner,
"Death? That's what this is? A vigil?"
"Yes. Or rather, a playback of a vigil."
"This person died? Who?" Rick asked.
"Test subject 19. Someone who was bitten and infected… and volunteered to have us record the process." Jenner looked particularly affected by his mention of Test Subject 19 and Tess wondered whether he had known the person.
"VI, scan forward to the first event."
"Scanning to first event."
"What is that?" The brain started to show signs of something infecting it and the person in the video appeared to be nearing their end.
"It invades the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands hemorrhage, the brain goes into shutdown, then the major organs. Then death. Everything you ever were or ever will be… Gone." Jenner's words were haunting and the room felt cold and dreadful.
"Is that what happened to Jim?" Jacqui asked, sadly
"Yes." Jenner nodded, despite not knowing who Jim was. Andrea sobbed, thinking only of Amy.
"She lost somebody two days ago. Her sister." Dale explained, sympathetically.
"I lost somebody too. I know how devastating it is." Tess nodded absently in agreement, thinking back to the hospital. "Scan to the second event."
"Scanning to second event."
"The resurrection times vary wildly. We had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute, seven seconds." All signs of life had gone from the brain now and the image was dark, showing only the outline of the person. Slowly, bright flickering's of light could be seen at the base of the skull and the head began to twitch.
"It restarts the brain?" Someone asked astonishedly but Tess was watching the video too intently to notice who. She was morbidly fascinated with the way the body came back to life and the jaw began to gnaw at the air.
"No, just the brain stem. Basically it gets them up and moving again."
"But they're alive?"
"You tell me." Jenner shrugged.
"Most of that brain is dark?" Tess pointed out, uncertain that anybody could be classified as alive at that point.
"Dark, lifeless, dead… The frontal lobe, the neocortex, the human part. That doesn't come back. The you part. Just a shell driven by mindless instinct." As Jenner's harrowing words hung in the air, a bolt of bright light streaked through the person's brain on the screen and their gnashing stopped as they fell limp.
"God! What was that?" A few of the group looked up in surprise but some of them already knew. Tess knew and she gulped, the feeling of dread growing stronger inside her.
"He shot his patient in the head. Didn't you?" Andrea demanded grimly but Jenner refused to acknowledge it.
Jenner looked despondent and distracted, which was starting to concern all of those in the room.
"VI, power down the main screen and the workstations." He ordered and VI confirmed his request.
"You have no idea what it is, do you?" Tess asked, hopelessly. She hadn't been expecting much when they arrived at the CDC, certainly not a cure but she'd hoped the doctor's here had been able to determine what it is they were fighting against at the very least.
"It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal-"
"Or the wrath of God?"
"Somebody must know something." Rick demanded desperately, the fear of failure hanging over him. "Somebody somewhere. There are others, right? Other facilities?"
"There may be some." Jenner shrugged, ambivalently, "People like me."
"But you don't know? How can you not know?" Rick kept on him, urgently.
"Everything went down. Communications, directives, all of it. I've been in the dark for almost a month. So it's not just here."
The terrible realization that the entire world was overrun by this thing was like a death knell. Their society collapsed like it was nothing and their only saving grace of outside help was now a dead end.
"There's nothing left anywhere? Nothing?" Lori asked despairingly, clinging to her son and looking close to tears. "That's what you're really saying, right?" Jenner didn't answer her but he didn't need to. There was nothing and no-one out there that was coming to save them. If they wanted to survive, they'd be doing it on their own. For Jacqui and Andrea, they didn't know whether they were prepared for that.
"Man, I'm gonna get shit-faced drunk again." Daryl groaned and Tess would have agreed with him if it weren't for the nagging, sinking feeling that she felt in her gut. If there's nothing for Jenner to do here, then why is he still here? She couldn't shake the idea that there was more that he wasn't telling them.
"Doctor Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but… that clock… it's counting down." Dale pointed out to the group and sure enough, he was right. The clock had around forty minutes left. "What happens at zero?"
"The basement generators… they run out of fuel." Jenner told them hesitantly and Tess frowned, sensing his apprehension.
"And then what?" She demanded but he ignored her. She huffed in annoyance and looked up at the ceiling, "VI, what happens when the power runs out?"
"When the power runs out, facility wide decontamination will occur."
As the group began to freak out over what 'facility wide decontamination' meant, Jenner wandered off like he couldn't care less about their panic. As Rick tried to calm everyone down and come up with a plan, Tess zoned out. She didn't think decontamination meant a hefty spray of bleach or a thorough wash; instead it was going to be something much more catastrophic.
She could hear panicked voices and the sound of Carl and Sophia whining in fear and Tess decided that they needed to make a move, now. Dropping her bag to the ground and retrieving her rifle, she moved to take up point.
"We need to leave. Now. You got shit to grab, you get it now or you leave it behind. Everyone else, with me." Everyone fell silent at her instructions but didn't move. She could tell they were scared but they were quite literally racing against the clock and didn't have time for this. "Now!" She shouted, booting everyone into gear and Carol and Lori grabbed their kids and Daryl, Jacqui, Glenn, Dale and Andrea all took off back to their gear.
Rick raced up beside Tess and looked at her thankfully, grateful that someone had been able to get things in motion.
"Where are we going?" Shane demanded to know, following behind them.
"We're finding the generators. Maybe we can buy ourselves some more time." If it were up to her, they'd be leaving now, people's belongings be damned but she knew it also wasn't worth the argument and would try to do whatever she could to give them the time needed to get ready to leave.
As they made their way down a series of metal staircases, they arrived in a dimly lit sub-basement, filled with generators and fuel drums. Empty fuel drums. The gauges on the generators were hard to see but Tess could distinguish the needle, hovering just above empty. And as with all of life's cruel jokes, they were perfectly timed. The dim lights suddenly shut off all together and the whirring sound of the generators stopped, leaving them standing in darkness and in silence. Flashlights were quickly brought out and Tess flicked on the light on her rifle.
"Emergency lighting is on."
"There's nothing we can do, down here. We need to get the others and go." Rick declared and they raced back up the stairs again.
When they returned to the lab, Jenner was also making his way back to the computers as well, whiskey bottle in hand and the rest of their group in tow. Daryl was hot on his heels, trying to get the doctor to answer his question but Jenner continued to neglect to.
"Jenner, what's happening?" Rick caught up to him and tried to remain calm.
"The system is dropping all non-essential uses of power. It's designed to keep the computers running to the last possible second. That started as we approached the half-hour mark. Right on schedule." All eyes went to the clock, horror washing over them all. 32:58:11… 32:41:57… seconds ticking by in the blink of an eye.
Falling short of reaching the computers, Jenner came to a stop and took one last swig from his bottle before palming it off to Daryl, crossbow now slung over his back.
"It was the French." Jenner said suddenly.
"What?" Andrea looked at him confused.
"They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know. While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs 'till the end. They thought they were close to a solution."
"What happened?" Jacqui asked.
"The same thing that's happening here. No power grip. Ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuel. I mean, how stupid is that?" Jenner's blasé attitude clearly pissed Shane off and he lunged for the doctor,
"Let me tell you-!"
"To hell with it, Shane. I don't even care." Rick held his friend back. "We're getting out of here, now!"
All of a sudden, a blaring emergency alarm, accompanied by a flashing red light started ringing out overhead. They all flinched at the sound, not having expected it but Jenner appeared unphased.
"Thirty minutes to decontamination." Jenner paid them no thought and moved towards a keypad on one of the desks, one goal in mind.
"Everybody, y'all heard Rick, let's go!" Shane yelled and everyone started to race toward the door. The mechanical clunking sound of the blast doors rolling up and trapping them inside brought them all to a standstill.
"Did you just lock us in?" Glenn breathed out in disbelief, "He just locked us in!" Rage overcame Daryl and he raced over to Jenner, bottle in hand, ready to strike him on the head with it.
"You son of a bitch! You locked us in here!"
"Shane! Shane!" Rick cried out, too far away to stop Daryl himself and Shane and T-Dog grabbed him, wrenching him back before he could seriously injure or kill their only way out of here. Tess hurriedly ran up the steps towards Jenner and begged him to open the door.
"There's no point, everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed."
"So open them." She requested authoritatively.
"That's not something I control. The computers do. I told you, once those front doors closed they wouldn't open again. You heard me say that." Jenner told her, like that made him exempt from any and all responsibility. Tess was fuming,
"We didn't think we'd be signing our fucking death warrants!"
"It's better this way."
"What is?" Rick asked, unable to see what Jenner could possibly be talking about.
"What happens in twenty-eight minutes?" Jenner turned away from him, not answering and Rick sent a look her way, she jabbed him in the back of the head with her rifle. "What happens in twen-!" Jenner finally had enough and got to his feet, whirling round towards Rick,
"You know what this place is?! We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized small-pox! Ebola strains that can wipe out half the country! Stuff that you don't want getting out, ever! Everyone fell silent and Jenner sat back down,
"In the event of a catastrophic power failure and a terrorist attack, for example, H.I.T. 's are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out."
"H.I.T's?"
"VI, define."
"H.I.T's. High Impulse Thermobaric Fuel air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than other known explosives except nuclear. The vacuum pressure ignites the oxygen between five thousand and six thousand degrees and is useful where the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired."
"It sets the air on fire…" Jenner added ominously. "No pain. An end to sorrow, grief, regret. Everything." Sophia and Carl were crying now and Tess was disgusted at how calm Jenner was about terrifying the young, innocent children.
"Out of my way!" Daryl pushed past Shane and the others and ran at the blast door, kicking and hitting at it with the butt of his crossbow.
"You should've left well enough alone. It would've been so much easier." Jenner mumbled dejectedly.
"For who, exactly?" Snapped Tess, outraged. "You're condemning us to death!"
"For all of you. You know what's out there… A short brutal life and an agonizing death. You should know that better than anyone." Jenner looked her dead in the eye and Tess glared at him in return. Turning to Andrea, he tried to plead his case.
"Y- your sister. What was her name?" Andrea stammered a nervous reply,
"Amy."
"Amy. You know what this does. You've seen it." He looked at her sadly and turned to Rick, "Is that really what you want for your wife and son?"
"I don't want this." Rick protested.
From across the room, the clanging of Daryl's crossbow against the metal echoed and abruptly stopped as he shouted nonsensically in anguish. Storming back over the group, he announced,
"Can't make a dent."
"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher." Doctor Jenner cocked his head like Daryl should have known and was a moron for even trying. This riled him up even more and he jumped forward.
"Well your head ain't!" Tess stepped in front of him before he could take a shot at Jenner and pushed him back by his chest.
"Daryl, stop! You kill him and we lose our only way out of here!" She stressed, trying to get him to back off, one hand still pushing back on his sternum. He scowled down at her but gave up.
"Fine!" He flung his hand up, swatting her away and stepped back.
"You do want this. Last night you said you knew it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead."
"What?" Tess asked, thinking Jenner was talking to her but knowing she'd never said such a thing. Turning back to face him, she saw he was looking at Rick. He looked caught out and Lori watched him, a hurt look on her face. Shane looked personally affronted too and confronted him,
"What? You really said that? After all your big talk?"
"I had to keep hope alive, didn't I?" Rick stressed, a crazed look in his eye.
"There is no hope. There never was." Jenner told them all, depressed. Determined, Rick tried to argue,
"There's always hope. Maybe it won't be you, maybe not here, but somebody somewhere-."
"What part of everything is gone do you not understand?" Cried Andrea, unable to see any hope at all.
"Listen to your friend. She gets it. This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event."
"You don't get to decide what takes us down. You may be willing to go out in a ball of fire, but we sure as shit aren't. You don't get to take the choice away from us." Tess warned him, fed up with his suicidal bullshit and terrified of being killed by any sort of explosion.
"One tiny moment… a millisecond. No pain."
"You're causing us pain now, don't you see that?" She argued, trying to make him see reason.
"My daughter doesn't deserve to die like this." Carol agreed, holding her petrified child close.
"Wouldn't it be kinder, more compassionate to just hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?" Jenner debated, his mind made up. Shane had had enough now and was lunging for Jenner now too. Rick held him back and he threatened to blow the doctor's head off.
"Shane, stop! Tess is right, you kill him and we never get out of here!" He shoved his friend back angrily, annoyed that he'd not learnt from Daryl's failed attempt.
As Shane paced back and forth, trying to think about anything other than bashing the doc's head in, Rick tried another tactic.
"I think you're lying."
"What?" Jenner looked at him confused.
"You're lying about no hope. If that were true, you'd have bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out. You didn't. You chose the hard path. Why?"
"It doesn't matter." The doctor shrugged.
"It does matter. It always matters. You stayed when others ran. Why?" Jenner sighed and finally confessed,
"Not because I wanted to. I made a promise… to her. My wife." Realization washed over Tess as she thought back to earlier in the day when they'd watched the video of Test Subject 19. He'd been so despondent as if he was personally affected by the person's death and she understood now why.
"That was your wife. TS-19?" Jenner nodded and Tess felt awful for ever being angry at this man for wanting to die. She'd lost her best friend and that had been painful enough, not that she'd taken the time to properly process or even acknowledge her feelings but this man had lost his wife. The woman he loved. And he'd had all this time on his own to do nothing but process and acknowledge his feelings.
"I'm sorry…" She whispered.
"She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no? She was dying. It should've been me on that table. I wouldn't have mattered to anybody. She was a loss to the world. Hell, she ran this place. I just worked here." The way Jenner spoke about his wife made Tess' heart break, hearing just how much he loved and revered her.
"In our field, she was an Einstein. Me? I'm just… Edwin Jenner. She could've done something about this. Not me."
"Your wife didn't have a choice." Rick told him regretfully, "You do. That's- that's all we want. A choice. A chance. Let us keep trying as long as we can." Rick's plea finally hit home for Jenner and the doctor spun round to the computer, hitting a few buttons and the blast doors finally opened.
"I told you, topside is locked down. I can't open those. There's your chance. Take it." And like a fire was lit under their asses, they all bolted for the door, heading back upstairs and to freedom.
Tess stood at the door, watching the clock count down quickly. Only four minutes left. The group rushed past her and she urged them along, only focused on getting them out first. Rick and Daryl tried to drag her along with them but she pushed them forward, telling them to get the rest to safety.
"Jacqui, Andrea, Dale, let's go!" She shouted, noticing they hadn't moved.
"We're staying." Andrea called back to her as she held Jacqui's hand in solidarity.
"Dale?!" Tess yelled desperately, trying to get him to make them snap out of it.
"Go," He told her, "I'm staying too." His words surprised both her and Andrea, who whirled around to argue with him, clearly not happy about his decision.
Tess felt conflicted, not wanting to leave them behind but also not willing to die just to argue needlessly with them. The clock was counting down from three minutes now and she had to make a decision. She sent one last look their way and fled the room, heading back up to the ground floor.
When the generators died, the power to the elevators was cut off, which meant Tess had to haul ass up three flights of stairs, running faster than she ever had in her entire life. She tried not to think about how little time she had left and instead focused on not losing her footing as she ran up multiple stairs at a time. She had dumped her backpack and rifle at the foot of the stairwell, knowing it would only slow her down and her legs ached, tired and overworked as she raced into the lobby of the CDC.
She found the group cowering behind furniture, facing away from the large window overlooking the street outside. Rick was running back from the window and diving behind a desk as she tried to figure out what was going on.
"Tess!" Carol cried out, only just noticing that she'd caught up to them. All eyes moved in the direction of where they'd just fled from and the sudden explosion of the grenade the sheriff had left by the window ripped through the air, glass shattering into thousands of pieces. The impact of the blast sent Tess stumbling back and she tripped and fell to the ground in shock. Her ears were ringing and her pulse was racing.
She was no longer present in the CDC, mind and body elsewhere in a different time and place. All she could hear was screaming and gunfire and she found herself unable to move, stuck reliving the same awful memories that kept her from sleeping well at night.
Suddenly, she was yanked to her feet and dragged out of the building. She was running but it was like it wasn't her guiding herself along. She could see but wasn't looking, felt fear but wasn't afraid, she was an outsider looking into her own mind and body and she felt completely detached from reality.
Whoever was pulling her along yanked her behind a truck with them, forcing her into a crouch just as the CDC exploded with a deafening bang, waves of heat and pressure hitting them all as the building engulfed in flames. The vehicles shook as the blast wave rolled over them and Tess could feel herself hyperventilating now, every inch of her trembling, unable to stop her visceral reaction. When it was finally safe to do so, she was shoved in the truck and the driver tore away from the building, the convoy of vehicles following close behind.
—
Tess was curled up in the passenger seat of the truck, her forehead resting on her knees and her hands clutching the back of her neck. She didn't know how long they'd been driving, heck, she still hadn't bothered to find out who was driving, she guessed it was Daryl based on the vehicle but wasn't about to look up and check. Her breathing was still rapid and her heart was still racing and all she could think about was that she needed to get out of this damn truck.
Part of her felt embarrassed and ashamed for the way she was behaving but mostly she didn't care. She was more worried about trying not to freak out any more than she already was and just kept repeating what her therapist told, in her head. Your reaction is involuntary. You've been through a lot. You're not crazy. You're not crazy. You're not crazy.
In the driver's seat, Daryl was tense and uncomfortable, gripping the steering wheel so tightly he thought he might end up with blisters. He'd been pissed off initially, angry that he had to physically drag Tess' ass out of the building because she was frozen to the floor. He never imagined ever having to babysit her like the other women in the group and had started to think he'd misjudged her capabilities. Daryl quickly realized that she was far more terrified than anyone else and it wasn't just because of their near death experience.
Merle had buddies that were ex-military, ones that had turned to drugs and drinking to deal with their baggage. They spent most of their time shit-faced and and high and Daryl had witnessed multiple violent outbursts when they'd be set off by something someone had said or done. He'd never cared to get to know these men, or any of Merle's friends for that matter, but it didn't take an expert to realize what the root of their problem was.
Daryl guessed Tess' was very much the same, she just reacted differently. He dared not ask her about it as he drove though. Not only did he not know what to say, he was fairly certain that she didn't really even know that he was there. He assumed that even if he were to ask her anything that she wouldn't answer him. Secretly, he felt relieved by that. Daryl wasn't exactly the comforting type and God forbid she started crying because he'd definitely be at a loss then.
As they neared late afternoon, the convoy finally pulled off down a side road towards a clearing signposted for campers. There was a little open faced shack and a fire pit that looked like it hadn't been used in months. When they finally came to a stop, creating a wall of vehicles around the camp, Tess took the opportunity to spring free from the truck and hurriedly took off into the forest before anyone could stop her. She didn't care about setting up camp or checking to see if the others were okay, right now she just needed to be alone before she really lost it. She knew it was selfish but she also knew she had to deal with her own shit before being able to properly help anyone else.
When she felt that she was far enough away, she collapsed against the trunk of a wide maple tree. The silence and stillness of the air was a welcome reprieve from the chaos of earlier. Tess was still trembling as she took off her boots and socks and buried her feet into the forest floor. The feeling of the dirt and leaves against her bare feet, grounding her. With her head on her knees and her arms wrapped around her torso, she told herself,
"My name is Theresa Murphy. I'm 29 years old. I live in Durham, North Carolina. I'm in Georgia. I'm alive. My name is Theresa Murphy. I'm 29 years old. I live in Durham, North Carolina. I'm in Georgia. I'm alive." As she repeated those same words to herself again and again, she slowly became less and less panicky.
The trembling stopped and the grip on her arms lessened as she no longer felt the need to talk herself down. She hadn't had a panic attack like that in a very long time, perhaps ever. That explosion… it had taken her right back into the worst moment of her entire life and the feeling was so visceral and the sights and sounds so vivid that she'd wondered for a moment if she'd ever really left 2007.
Maybe this was all some insane dream she'd had in the time that she had been knocked unconscious. But this reality was far too ridiculous to not be real. And that, in and of itself, was scary enough. Tess leant back against the tree and watched as the sunlight filtered through the forest and slowly disappeared. She thought about heading back to the camp but couldn't bring herself to stand just yet. The crunch of leaves in the darkness behind her and she perked up, gripping the handle of her knife.
"Tess?" A man's voice called out quietly, just loud enough for her to hear him.
"Rick?" She replied, looking around the maple tree.
"Hey, there you are." Rick walked up to the tree and sat down beside her. "You okay?" He looked down at her, concerned and Tess tried not to laugh.
"Not really but I'm working on it." He gave her a grim smile, which she returned to the best of her ability.
"Y'know, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here."
"Thank you, Rick. Really. It means a lot. I- I just… It's not easy to talk about. And I don't exactly want to ruin your evening with my crying." She chuckled, knowing there wasn't much of an evening to ruin but she also didn't feel comfortable bursting into tears in front of anybody. Before Rick could protest, she continued,
"The offer goes both ways though, too, y'know? Keeping everybody safe, it's a big responsibility. And the risk of failure… well there's no feeling worse than that." She was genuine in her offer, speaking from experience and Rick looked at her intensely; something clearly on his mind. "What is it?" She probed.
"Something Jenner said…" Rick looked conflicted, like he couldn't decide whether to tell her or not and Tess waited patiently for him to make up his mind. "We're all infected." He blurted out before he could stop himself, needing to get it off his chest.
"He told you?" She looked at him in surprise and Rick took a moment to click on,
"Yes. Wait, what? You knew?" He wasn't angry, shocked maybe but mostly relieved.
"I asked him why he needed the blood samples. I guess… maybe it was a thought I always had at the back of my mind since the hospital. People would turn that hadn't come in bitten. We just thought we missed it…"
"What do we do? How- how are we supposed to tell the others?"
"I don't think we should. At least not right now. They've been through a lot and telling them now would only make things worse." Rick nodded along in agreement, having been on the same page.
"You're right. We need to find somewhere to settle, somewhere where we can be safe. Only then do we tell them."
"We'll get there, things will get better. The CDC might have been a bust but there's still good people out there."
"I hope you're right." Rick looked out into the darkness despondently and Tess could tell by the look on his face that he was struggling to find hope. It was hard to imagine that things were going to get easier and the both of them hoped it just wouldn't get any harder before things did.
The pair sat quietly for a while, lost in their own thoughts and then Tess started to wonder,
"How'd you know where I was?"
"Daryl told me. He actually asked me to check on you."
"I guess I probably freaked him out, huh?" Tess replied in embarrassment, imagining that Daryl probably thought she was some pathetic damsel now. Rick looked at her thoughtfully, having not missed the look of concern, however small, on the redneck's face when he came up to ask him.
"Something like that."
"I suppose we should get back before he comes looking for the both of us." She laughed and pulled her boots back on. Rick helped her to her feet. The pair started walking back to the group when Rick came to an abrupt halt soon after, which caught her by surprise and she became even more confused by the look on his face.
"I think you probably missed it… Dale and Andrea made it out."
"Really?! Thank God! And Jacqui?"
"She stayed…" Tess nodded sadly. She hadn't known Jacqui very well, had hardly had the chance to talk to her really but she still felt upset about losing her. There was nothing she could say and the pair walked quietly back to camp.
—
Most people had gone to sleep by the time Tess and Rick made it back to camp. Rick bid her farewell and went to join Lori and Carl went over to Glenn, who was the only one still sitting by the fire.
"Can't sleep?" She asked him as she joined him.
"Too much adrenaline still… Are you okay?" He looked up to her with concern but she waved him off and focused on him instead.
"Yeah, I'm fine. You?"
"I'm alive, so…" He shrugged and looked downcast. Tess gave him a tight smile and squeezed his shoulder.
"It won't always be this hard."
"I know." He put on a brave face and smiled gently. Over Glenn's shoulder, Tess spied Daryl walking over to his truck and she quickly got to her feet.
"Try to get some sleep, yeah?" She told Glenn and he nodded at her absently and she left to intercept Daryl before he could slip away again.
"Hey, you got a sec'?" She called out to me and he turned to face her, squint-eyed. He didn't object and Tess took that as a yes. "I just wanted to apologize for earlier… I'm sorry about… well, me." She shuffled on her feet awkwardly, knowing just how pitiful that sounded.
"You ain't gotta apologize." Daryl replied gruffly, much to her surprise and he shook his head. "Ain't my business what you got goin' on." He added nonchalantly, turning his back to her and jumping onto the bed of the truck, the suspension rocking under the added weight. Tess frowned to herself, feeling a little jilted but she tried not to take it personally.
"Well, regardless, I'm sorry. And thank you for helping me." She turned to leave and let him be but before she could walk away, he called out to her,
"Hang on a sec." Bending down, Daryl picked up a tent bag that lay at his feet and handed it out to her, "It was Merle's. He ain't gon' need it no more." Tess took it gratefully and smiled at him warmly. The thought of sleeping in Daryl's brother's tent didn't appeal to her all that much if she were being honest but it was a kind gesture that she appreciated nonetheless.
"Thank you, Daryl. Sleep well." She sent one last friendly smile his way and left to set up her new tent for the night.
Daryl watched her leave and sighed to himself tiredly. After today's turmoil, he was exhausted. Laying down on the cold metal of the truck-bed, he tried to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. He'd never admit to anyone that the tent he gave her wasn't Merle's. He'd never even bothered to pack it up back at the quarry campsite. He knew that if he told her it was his, she'd never have taken it though.
He hadn't initially planned to give her anything but he felt that it was the least he could do, given she seemed to have sacrificed everything else she had in order to make sure the rest of them got to safety before she did; her backpack and rifle notably absent from her person when she caught up to them at the CDC. Daryl huffed to himself and rolled onto his side, trying to think about anyone or anything else other than Tess.