Chapter 12 - The Sum of Our Fears

Highway 85

Tess grumbled to herself as she continued to pick through random vehicles, slowly making her way back to the RV. She didn't know why she'd gotten so annoyed by the whole ordeal and cracked it up to her being dehydrated and caught off guard. That didn't take away from the fact that she was genuinely irritated by Daryl's interrogation of her. She didn't consider herself a closed book by any means but she liked to share things in her own time and with Carol, she'd felt comfortable enough to do so early on. With Daryl, she didn't know just yet. She had been trying her best to befriend him, sure, but he was far too unpredictable to know where she stood with him and she didn't feel comfortable divulging the more vulnerable parts of her just yet.

Spying movement up ahead, Tess stopped to see who was coming her way, not really wanting to cross paths with Daryl just yet. Squinting against the low, afternoon sun, she froze when she noticed that it wasn't anyone from their group but a walker. And then more appeared. And another. And another. Soon, dozens of ambling dead were weaving their way through the gridlock and Tess spun round to see if Carol and Lori had seen, knowing they were behind her and further away from the horde. They were still wandering up ahead and hadn't become aware of the incoming danger.

Tess frantically tried to come up with a way to alert them, knowing she couldn't shout as it would only draw their attention and her eyes settled on a small rock just feet from her. She raced over to it and lobbed it in their direction, hoping she would hit one of the cars. As it ricocheted off a roof, the women spun around to find the source of noise and Tess gestured frantically for them to get down and hide. They looked confused for a moment but were fast to notice the threat coming their way and ducked out of sight. Tess followed suit and threw her backpack underneath the closest vehicle, rolling after it and hoping everyone else was safe also.

Muddy, scuffed shoes shuffled past her slowly and a cacophony of groans followed along with them. Tess held her breath for as long as she could, trying her best not to draw attention to herself and watched as rotted feet walked past her, covering her nose to block the stench of the dead. The creeping, lumbering bodies were terrifying and Tess knew that all she could was lie in wait and hope none of them would be spotted. A pair of tiny, pink shoes tottered past and colorful lights twinkled on the heels with each step. Chills ran down her spine as Tess lay, horrified at the thought of how young that poor child must be.

It felt like an eternity waiting for the coast to clear and Tess waited patiently for a few minutes after the last walker staggered past before sliding herself back out from underneath the car. She got to her feet quietly, the back of the pack still making their way through the wreckage of metal. She didn't even have time to breathe a sigh of relief when Sophia popped reappeared, stepping right into the path of an oncoming walker. Time stood still as Tess' heart sank and she watched the fear flood the young girl's face. She couldn't yell out to her to distract it, knowing it would only draw the attention of all the other walkers on the road as well.

An overwhelming feeling of dread overcame her as Sophia squealed in fear and darted away and toward the forest, the walker hot on her heels. Tess raced after her, vaulting herself over car hoods and trunks to get to her as quickly as she could, her heartbeat pumping in her ears and complete tunnel vision taking over. Sophia was surprisingly quick and soon breached the treeline and out of view as the walker tumbled down the bank after her.

Tess could hear Rick sprinting after them, calling out as quietly as he could, trying to get Sophia to come back. Hurling herself over the railing at the side of the road, she bolted down the embankment and charged right at the walker. It had heard her coming now and turned to face the meal closest to it, forgetting about Sophia altogether. It gnashed its teeth and stretched out its arms to grab her but she took it down quickly with a striking blow to the head with her knife. The crunch of its skull and the way its body fell limp told her she'd done enough.

Rick had raced past her and into the forest, calling for Sophia and Tess got back to her feet to follow suit. She could hear Carol weeping but refused to look back, continuing to chase down her daughter in the hopes of finding her quickly. Bursting through the edge of the forest, expecting to see either Rick or Sophia, she began to fret when neither of them were within her sight. It was far too quiet and she crept forward warily, trying to listen out for any noise. She wasn't much of a tracker but it was easy enough to notice the disturbed ground and leaves rucked up by multiple feet. She guessed that there were at least two more walkers as well as Rick heading in Sophia's direction and she followed the same path as best she could.

"Rick! Sophia?" Tess called out in a stifled shout. There was no response. Keeping her eyes and ears sharp, she kept stalking the trail slowly. She sincerely hoped that Rick had Sophia with him, safe and sound and that he was already making his way back to the road with her. Poor Carol, the mother's sob's were heartbreaking and she couldn't imagine the amount of panic and fear she must be feeling.

Tess was determined to follow the makeshift path until it came to an end but was conscious of the fact that the sun would be setting soon and it'd be no use her getting lost in the woods either. Speeding up, she jogged along the trail, her keen eyes tracking as she went. She only began to slow down again as she started to move downhill, towards the creek bed. A terrible foreboding feeling washed over her as she stepped into the water, the trail coming to an end. Tess looked around, her mind reeling and jaw clench tightly from stress, trying to find any sign of Sophia.

"Sophia!" She shouted loudly now, not caring what kind of attention it drew. A thick bramble of vine and shrubbery curled around the verge of the creek and Tess bound through the stream towards it, the water sloshing below her. It seemed like a good hiding spot for a small child and she hoped Sophia had enough sense to try and hide. Some of the branches and vines were snapped and they looked like fresh breaks, indicating that someone had come into contact with them very recently. However, there was no Sophia in and amongst the greenery.

Tess breathed a sigh of disappointment, feeling at a loss and unsure what to do next. The glint of red on a thorny branch caught her eye and she hesitantly brought her hand up to check what it was. Shining vermilion liquid coated her fingertips and her pulse quickened and anxiety flared. It could just be a cut on the arm. It doesn't mean…

"Tess!" Rick yelled out to her as he all but collapsed into the water to her left. "Sophia?" He was wide eyed and desperate looking and all Tess could do was shake her head. "I left her right here!" He bellowed, frustrated and panicked. "All she had to do was wait…" He trailed off and Tess had a feeling he wasn't really talking to her.

"Rick… we'll find her, okay?" She discreetly washed the blood off her fingertips, not wanting to stress him out any further. There was so little of it that she knew that it couldn't have come from more than a scratch. She just hoped that the scratch came from the branch. Rick nodded absentmindedly, not noticing her washing her hands.

"I told her that if I didn't make it back, to head back to the highway."

"Okay, so that's where we'll find her, then. You told her how to get back to the road?"

"Keep the sun over her left shoulder."

"Good. Then we go back to the others." Tess asserted and the pair climbed out of the river, racing back the way they came.

"What if she's not there?"

"Then we keep looking."

—

Sophia wasn't back at the highway. Carol was devastated and couldn't understand why they hadn't come back with her little girl. Her eyes were red and glassy from crying and her wails at the sight of them emerging without her was gut-wrenching.

"Where is she?!" She cried and Tess' heart sank, the small sliver of hope she'd been holding onto yanked from her. Tess walked up to the woman timidly,

"Carol, we'll find her, we promise. We told her to come back to the road-" She said in an attempt to calm her down, while not letting Rick take all the blame for their situation.

"That's my baby girl! She can't be out there alone!" Her tone was desperate and anguished Tess knew nothing she would say would make her feel better. Rick was busy rounding up Shane, Daryl and Glenn to help him track down Sophia and Tess waited anxiously, ready to head back into the forest again.

"We're not gonna stop looking for her, Carol. We'll get her back." She clutched the woman's trembling hands and squeezed them gently but it brought her little to no comfort. Tess stepped away as Rick made his way back over to her, rifle in hand.

"Ready to go?" She asked.

"I need you to stay here."

"What? Why?" She frowned, confused. Rick proffered the bolt-action rifle and Tess took it from him hesitantly.

"I need you to look after everyone. Anything happens… I need you here." Rick looked at her pleadingly and Tess wasn't about to be stubborn about it, nodding in understanding.

"Understood. Be safe." They nodded stiffly to one another and Rick joined back up with Shane, who was watching Lori and Carl like a hawk. Her eyes drifted over to Glenn and she smiled at him encouragingly before meeting Daryl's eyes. She nodded at him as if to say 'good luck' and he gave her the smallest amount of recognition in return; but recognition nonetheless.

Carol and Lori had moved into the RV by now. Tess could see that Dale had gone back to working on the RV again and saw T-Dog resting on a nearby car hood. Swinging past the vehicle she'd hidden under not too long ago, Tess collected her backpack and made her way over to the group.

"Hey, T, you alright?" She asked as she approached, noticing the way he sat kind of slumped over like. The big man groaned and tried to right himself and Tess jogged over, afraid he was about to keel over. Something was clearly wrong with him. A deep, bloody gash ran up his arm and blood seeped through his fingers as he tried to stem the flow.

"I ain't bit." He assured her, noticing the look of shock on her face.

"What happened?" She questioned him, dumping her bag on the ground and rifling through it in search of the first aid kit.

"I cut ma'self on some metal. Would'a been lunch had Daryl not saved my ass." Tess nodded along to the information she was given and zipped open the small bag of medical supplies.

She'd hoped there would be at least a couple small pouches of saline but there were only a few meager bandages and plasters. Tess got back to her feet and started unlooping her belt from her waist. T-Dog looked at her skeptically,

"What are you doin'? You ain't cutting my arm off, it ain't that bad!" Tess couldn't help but laugh.

"No, I'm not cutting your arm off, T-Dog, don't worry. But I do have to clean it and it's gonna hurt." With her belt finally free, she folded it over itself and offered it to him. "Bite." He gawked at her incredulously and she sighed. "You can bite this or you can bite your tongue." She shrugged, hitting him with the tough love and T-Dog finally accepted it from her, biting down firmly.

Unscrewing the lid of the jar, she gripped his upper arm tightly and poured the alcohol over the open wound. T-Dog jerked and groaned, chomping down on the belt with a grimace. As the blood washed away and Tess could see the wound more clearly, she saw just how deep and jagged the cut was. She didn't have anything to sew the wound up but quickly wrapped it with gauze and tied it off tightly.

"What the hell was that?!" T-Dog gasped in pain.

"Moonshine." She replied nonchalantly.

"Moonshine? Where'd you get moonshine from?"

"I picked it up down the road. Good thing I did too."

"It'll take the edge off I guess." T reached for the jar but Tess swatted his hand away from it. "Hey! What?"

"Sorry but no. You can't have any. It'll just thin your blood and then you'll keep bleeding. You can have these instead." She handed him a couple painkillers and he huffed in disappointment.

"You're a hard-ass, y'know that?" He grumbled petulantly but gratefully accepted the medicine offered to him nonetheless.

"Yeah, you're welcome." She smirked, finding it rather comical. T-Dog dry-swallowed the pills with a wince and gave her a thankful smile.

"Thank you, Tess."

"Let me know if you start to feel worse, yeah? I'll keep looking for something to sew that arm up but you take it easy."

T-Dog rested against the car again and Tess gathered up her belongings, leaving him to rest. Dale was working at attaching a new radiator hose to the RV and was cursing under his breath at the old winnebago.

"Hey, Dale. How're you getting on?" She inquired, checking in. Dale sighed and wiped his hands on an old rag.

"We're getting there. What can I do for you?" He asked, seeing that she clearly had something on her mind.

"You don't happen to have a first aid kit, do you? Something with needle and thread?"

"Why's that? What's happened? Are you okay?" He fired off questions to her anxiously, concern written all over his face.

"I'm fine, Dale. It's T-Dog. He's cut his arm and it should really be stitched. I've cleaned him up and bandaged him but that's only gonna do so much." Dale sighed in worry.

"I've got nothing to sew him up I'm afraid. Carol might do but… Best to ask Lori." He advised her cautiously and Tess nodded in agreement. She thanked him for his help and rounded the RV to the door.

Carl sat in the doorway looking somber and upset and Tess looked down at him sadly, knowing he must be afraid for his friend.

"Hey buddy, how you doing?" She crouched in front of him and looked at him sympathetically. Carl just shrugged as tears swelled in his eyes. "Carl? It's okay to be scared-"

"I'm not scared." Carl was quick to protest, putting on a brave face. Tess nodded gently and gave him a stiff smile. "But what if she's hurt…?" He whispered and Tess' throat felt tight, thinking back to the blood she'd found at the creek.

"I'm sure she's as safe as houses. And you're daddy's gonna find her and bring her right back." She assured him and he started to look more confident.

"Yeah! My dad found us!" He chirped, excitedly, worries forgotten.

"He sure did! Just you wait." She gave him a crooked smile, trying to find the same faith he had. But she struggled to believe her own words.

She knew the prognosis wasn't good, the chances of finding her were slim but they'd never know if they didn't try. And if anyone was going to find her it'd be Rick and Daryl.

"I gotta go talk to your mom, stay where Dale can see you okay? I'll see you in a bit." Stepping past him and into the RV, she steeled herself for the task ahead.

"Hey Lori, you got a sec?" She murmured softly, fully aware that Carol was not in any state to be left alone for long. Lori shifted away from the crying woman and toward Tess, she didn't look overly pleased to see her.

"What is it?" She snapped in a hushed voice, eyes darting between her and Carol. Tess was taken aback by her tone but let it be, aware that everyone was under a lot of stress right now and it likely wasn't personal.

"Uh, I just need to know if either of you have a first aid kit or a sewing kit. T-Dog's injured and I just need to sew him up." She explained in an attempt to diffuse her hostility but she just huffed and retorted,

"I don't know. Go check the Cherokee." Lori marched back to Carol, leaving Tess dumbfounded. She didn't know why Lori was being so antagonistic towards her all of a sudden. She didn't think she'd done anything to offend her. Had she? With a frustrated sigh she stepped out of the RV.

Fine. I'll just go rifling through all your shit and see what I find, Tess grumbled to herself churlishly. Only one of our friends being seriously injured, what does that matter? She knew was being childish but Lori's foul and flippant attitude had annoyed her. Especially when she had been left behind with the sole purpose of looking after everyone, it annoyed her that she was getting flack for it. The back of the Cherokee was stuffed full of bags and belongings and Tess groaned, unsure where to begin.

She didn't really feel comfortable going through any of their luggage if she were being honest. It was an invasion of privacy that she certainly wouldn't appreciate; all for something that may or may not be there. She thought she would probably have better luck trying to find something among the abandoned vehicles. At least then she wouldn't feel guilty for snooping. Tess had a rummage through the wall of bags for a first aid kit but came out empty handed at the end of it. Today sucks, she thought to herself as she squashed everything back in.

The afternoon sun was just starting to dip below the horizon when she noticed Glenn and Shane making their way back up the bank. They were alone. Tess jogged back to the RV to meet them, concerned that something had happened.

"Hey! Everything okay?" She called out to them as they approached. Shane nodded and spoke for the both of them,

"Everything's fine. Rick and Daryl are still looking for Sophia. But we gotta clear up this road so we can move outta here when they're all back." Tess breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that no one had been hurt or anything like that. Hearing Shane's voice, Carol stumbled out of the RV looking frantic; Lori in tow.

"Why aren't we all out there looking?" Carol protested, "Why are we moving cars?"

"We have to clear enough room so that we can get the RV turned around as soon as it's running. Now that we have enough fuel, we can double back to the bypass. Going back's going to be easier than trying to get through this mess." Shane told her, obviously having come up with a plan to keep them all preoccupied in the meantime. Carol looked close to tears again.

"But we're not going anywhere till my daughter gets back." The poor woman looked stricken with grief and Tess turned to her,

"That goes without saying. We won't leave her behind." She reassured her and Carol looked at her appreciatively. Much to Tess' surprise, Shane backed her up,

"Tess is right. Look, Rick and Daryl, they're on it, okay? Just a matter of time." It was the first time Tess had actually felt positive feelings towards the man and she wondered if perhaps she'd misjudged him. Maybe behind the masculine bravado, he was an alright guy?

"Can't be soon enough for me." Glenn piped up, "I'm still freaked out from that herd that passed us by… Or whatever you'd call it." Everyone was in agreement there. Herd. That was a good word for it. Like wandering cattle, all following the leader. Albeit, dangerous cattle that would eat you. It was a chilling thought, thinking about what could have happened if they hadn't all spotted it in time. There would have been nothing they could have done. No way to escape, no chance to fight their way out. They would have been done for. Shane clearing his throat brought her out of her thoughts.

"Okay. Come on, people. We've still got a lot to do. Let's stay on it. Let's go, come on." He ushered everyone to get to work and Tess went to assist when Dale called her over.

"Hey, Tess. Come give me a hand, would ya'?" He asked casually and she did so, expecting to maybe hold something or hand him things.

"What'cha need me to do?" She responded but Dale was busy watching Shane, making sure he was out of earshot before he continued. "Dale? What's wrong?" She inquired at the visible look of distrust on his face.

"I don't trust him."

"Shane?" She prompted, wanting confirmation. He nodded, still watching the man like a hawk. "Why?" She asked, her tone void of any skepticism. She looked at him quizzically, knowing there was something she was missing.

"It's just-" Dale began but she interrupted him,

"Don't tell me it's a gut feeling. What's he done?" She demanded and her earlier feeling of being too quick with judgment, disappeared. Dale chewed on his cheek, debating whether to tell her. He had initially planned on being vague, merely stating that he had a bad feeling but it was clear she wasn't going to buy that.

"That day before we left the Quarry… Him and Rick were in the woods and I saw him…" He began to trail off, starting to question his memory and wondering whether it was really worth bringing up.

"You saw him doing what?" Tess egged him on sternly, concerned where this was going.

"He looked like he was about to shoot him. Shoot Rick." Tess gasped slightly in surprise.

"You're certain…?"

"He had his gun pointed right at him." Dale confirmed and Tess looked over at Shane, chills running down her spine at the thought of him wanting to kill Rick. That was his best friend. If he was so cold-blooded about getting rid of him, that definitely didn't bode well for the rest of them. Shane appeared to be getting scolded by Lori and Carl was storming over to them, a dark bundle loaded up in his arms.

"Thank you for telling me Dale. I'll keep an eye on him." She told him, hoping that would put his mind to ease some and he nodded at her gratefully, not saying anymore as the young boy approached.

"What you got there, kiddo?" Dale called out in a chipper tone, a stark contrast to his demeanor from just moments ago. Tess was impressed at his ability to mask his concern and made a mental note of that for later.

"I found some tools that might help. Mom told me to bring them over to you." He replied, sounding a little dejected.

"Well, show us what you got." The old man encouraged him and Carl dropped the rolled up tools to the ground and unfurled them. Inside the roll of fabric was a variety of weapons ranging from machetes, to axes, to knives. Not tools.

"See? Maybe you can use them to fix the RV?" Carl suggested innocently and Dale looked stunned. Tess stifled a laugh, finding Carl's innocence incredibly endearing and Dale's astonishment hilarious.

"Woah!" He exclaimed, "That's one heck of a find, young man." Dale's praise boosted Carl's confidence and the kid smiled broadly, proud of himself. "Though, I think those look more like your department, Tess." Tess looked at the man like he was crazy. She'd never wielded a machete in her life although she guessed that she could understand where he was coming from though. Not wanting to deflate Carl's positive energy, Tess stooped down and collected the weapons.

"What you say we hop atop the RV and check these bad boys out? We can wait for your dad to get back up there." Carl nodded along eagerly and the both of them climbed the ladder to the roof.

—

Sitting on top of the RV, Carl to one side and rifle to the other, Tess felt happy for the first time since this morning. It made her feel ever better than Carl was smiling and chatting with her too, excitedly examining the new weapons with her. She didn't let him hold them, not wanting to get her head chewed off by his mother, but she did show them off to him.

"I think I'll keep this one, it's pretty badass." She told him with a wink, setting aside a machete with a curved top, the blade shaped like an L. "Don't repeat that." She quickly followed up, knowing his mother likely didn't want him to learn that kind of language.

Carl had tried to beg her to let him have one too but she had to deny him, telling him that it was up to his parents to decide whether he could or could not. He didn't kick up too much of a fuss but did grumble about how he wasn't a kid and could protect the group just like his dad. Tess agreed with him when he told her he was big and strong but reminded him that he still had to follow along with what his parents told him.

When he finally realized that he wasn't going to win her over, he was quick to move on to a different topic of conversation. He told her all about his old friends at school and how his favorite subject had been P.E. He rambled on about how he was finally going to beat Ryan Solomon at being the fastest runner in their class this year and Tess had told him there was no doubt in her mind that was true. It was a nice escape from reality that both of them needed and Tess found herself growing very fond of Carl.

As the young boy prattled on, she kept an eye on their surroundings and the roadside. The sun had nearly gone down now and she was starting to get nervous that Daryl and Rick hadn't returned yet. It didn't bode well for Sophia either. Spotting movement by the treeline, she raised the rifle and used the scope to get a better look.

"What is it?" Carl inquired, perking up as she did so.

"It's your dad." She replied, seeing the two men returning, each with downcast expressions.

"And Sophia?" Chirped Carl, hopefully. Tess looked down at him sadly and shook her head.

"No. I'm sorry buddy." The young boy's face dropped and he slowly crawled down from the RV to see his dad. Tess remained on top of the RV, dejected and at a loss. She watched as the group bombarded the men with questions and Tess' heart broke some more at the sound of Carol wailing, begging, unable to understand why they weren't still looking for her daughter; just wanting to have her in her arms again.

"How could you just leave her out there to begin with? How could you just leave her?" She wept.

"There were walkers on us. I had to draw them off. It was her best chance." Rick informed her, trying to make her understand that he had done what he thought was best.

"Sounds like he didn't have a choice, Carol." Shane added but it fell on deaf ears.

"How was she supposed to find her way back on her own? She's just a child. She's just a child."

"It was my only option." Rick pleaded with her, "The only choice I could make."

"I'm sure nobody doubts that." Lori said in an attempt to pacify the situation.

"My little girl got left in the woods!" Carol lamented into the arms of her friend and Lori clung to her tightly, giving her the support she needed.

Rick stepped away and started grabbing knives and other hand held weapons.

"Everybody takes a weapon." He stated firmly and Tess found her nodding absently in agreement. It was about time everyone started carrying protection. Nobody was going to be able to protect them but themselves if they were caught alone.

"These aren't the kind of weapons we need." Andrea protested petulantly. "What about the guns?" Shane sighed,

"We've been over that. Daryl, Rick, Tess and I are carrying." He firmly stated.

"Why does she get to carry?" The blonde woman all but pouted, as if her having a gun had anything to do with gender. Tess just raised an eyebrow at her from her position on top of the RV, not about to shout down to them just to say her piece. Daryl scoffed at Andrea's pitiful protest,

"The Corporal?" He sneered rhetorically and Andrea shut up. But only for a moment.

"Look, we can't have people popping off rounds every time a tree rustles." Shane continued and Andrea rolled her eyes, grumbling,

"It's not the trees I'm worried about."

"Say somebody fires at the wrong moment, a herd happens to be passing by. See, then it's game over for all of us. So you need to get over it." He finally snapped, fed up with her surly attitude. Andrea stormed off, clearly not going to win this argument and marched into the RV. Slamming the door as she entered, the RV swayed and Tess took that as her queue to leave.

—

It was an uncomfortable night for everyone on the highway. Carol could be heard crying herself to sleep and that mixed with Andrea's foul mood just created a cesspool of discomfort around the RV. Tess steered herself well clear of it all, choosing to instead set herself up on the bed of a lifted pick up truck, about fifty yards away. She was exhausted and really wanted to sleep but was struggling to find the ability to. Too many worries and thoughts running rampant in her mind. That felt like everyday life for her nowadays. Head resting against the cab of the truck, she willed herself to sleep, trying every method under the sun that she could think of to no avail. Groaning in annoyance, her head dropped tiredly. Sleep seemed unattainable.

Dragging her backpack to her side, she dug through it, looking for the glass jar. It was still about half full and she held it in her hands, looking at it indecisively. Tess knew using alcohol as a crutch was a slippery slope but it felt like her only option right now. She slowly unscrewed the lid and took a sip. It tasted as strong as it smelled and it burned as it spilled down her throat. However, once she got past the initial discomfort, it made her feel warm and more relaxed.

Nursing the jar in her hands, she looked out into the darkness as her mind wandered to Sophia. She was so alone and no doubt terrified. It was hard to have faith that she was even alive at this point. It felt awful to think such negative thoughts but it was the realist in her that made her skeptical. Sophia wasn't made for this life; she was in no way prepared. If by some miraculous grace of God she did survive the night, that still didn't mean that they would find her. But that doesn't mean we stop looking, she reminded herself and she sighed, feeling guilty for being anything other than optimistic. Taking another slow sip from the jar, Tess tried to convince herself that everything was going to be okay. Come tomorrow night, Sophia would be back in the RV with her mother and the group would be heading off for greener pastures. Right? Convincing herself proved easier said than done.

Movement, a few cars over, caught her eye and she peered through the darkness to see who it was. Faintly, she could distinguish Daryl stalking through the maze of cars; discernible by the way he walked with purpose and pent up anger. And Daryl was angry. Angry that he hadn't been able to find Sophia. Angry that there were little to no leads. And just angry at today in general. All he wanted was for the sun to come up so he could start tracking her again. He wasn't close to the kid, hell, he didn't think he'd even spoken a word to her but it wasn't fair that she was out there fending for her life.

He wasn't about to admit it either but seeing how upset Carol was made him more motivated to do the right thing. Daryl felt conflicted about the new level of leadership and responsibility he was beginning to take on for the sake of the group. He didn't want to get attached and he didn't want to care. Indifference was easier and he kept telling himself that he only stuck around purely for survival. But he could have left to find Merle at any point, and still could, however he had no desire to. It worried him that he felt comfortable.

"Hey. Wanna drink?" He heard a soft voice call out to him and he turned to face the nose. Spotting Tess sitting in the bed of a pickup truck he tensed up as he recalled their earlier interaction. Her reaction had definitely surprised him and it was obvious he had struck a nerve. It had put him in a foul mood originally but now he just felt guilty. Deciding to act like it hadn't happened, he wandered over.

"It ain't more Fireball is it?" He replied, causing her to laugh gently.

"I thought you liked that? But no, fresh out. Here." She offered him the jar and he accepted it hesitantly.

"Moonshine?" He looked at her confused as he stepped up onto the pickup and took the jar. She nodded and lent back tiredly, waving vaguely off to her right.

"Found it earlier. Figured we could use it after today's shit show." Daryl grunted in agreement and took a hearty gulp of the burning bootleg liquor. "I can't stop thinking about her out there… all alone. If I'd just been quicker…" Tess groaned, guilt-ridden.

"Ain't your fault." Daryl tried to reassure her but he wasn't sure if he even sounded sincere. Not that he wasn't but he wasn't used to having genuine conversations with anyone, let alone women.

"I know. I just wish things were different. But I've done a lot of that and wishing has never changed anything."

Daryl didn't know what to say to that and he didn't want to risk prying, so he chose to say nothing instead. Tess didn't miss the fact that he'd remained silent and realized she was probably over sharing and had made him uncomfortable.

"Sorry." She sighed and shook her head. This was the second time today she'd felt stupid for the things she'd said to Daryl. She still felt embarrassed for the way she'd spoken to him earlier too and wasn't about to let her pride get in the way of her admitting when she was wrong.

"I'm sorry for earlier too." She blurted out before she could overthink it. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like I did. It was uncalled for." Daryl shrugged uncomfortably and stoically replied,

"I shouldn't've asked." Tess looked over his unreadable expression, trying to decipher if he was actually bothered about it or not but couldn't tell. She guessed he couldn't be too mad or he probably would have chosen to ignore her.

"It true though?" He asked her suddenly and she looked at him confused. "What you said earlier."

"Yeah. No, I don't have kids. I've got a soft spot for them though." She shrugged her shoulders and reached for the jar, taking a drink before continuing. "I guess I just- The world's hard enough for us but for them?" She shook her head and took a deep breath, "I wouldn't want to have that kind of responsibility as a parent, y'know? And poor Carol… I- I found blood at the creek." Daryl's head whipped up from his hands and he looked at her, outraged that she hadn't said anything soon. She quickly continued before he could berate her,

"It was only little, like a few drops on a leaf, little. But it was fresh. Maybe it wasn't even hers but… man, I don't know, maybe I should have said something." She mumbled, feeling at a complete loss and she raked her fingers through her hair in an effort to get her mind straight.

"Nah, no point in worryin' them." Daryl spoke up softly. He wouldn't have said anything to Carol either. A few drops of blood on a leaf meant nothing if they didn't know for certain who or what they were from.

"Her tracks from the water lead back to the road, anyway. She wasn't movin' like she was hurt."

"You can tell that just from her tracks?" Tess was surprised by Daryl's skill level and she looked at him wide-eyed, interested to know more. He just nodded as if it weren't anything to be impressed by.

"You just gotta know where to look." He told her flippantly and she found herself grinning a little, bemused at how little credit he gave himself.

"That's amazing. You gotta show me how to do that some time." She remarked and she lay back further against the truck, now feeling more relaxed and capable of sleep.