I'd actually made it.
For 6 months I was unsure if I'd ever see the day but all that pain, all those cold, hungry nights. Through all that, I was finally in the walls of Orario. And now, after all of that, I was thinking of leaving.
Just after the man, Leon, had left me here, under this amazing tree, I quickly succumbed to my dreariness. For once I actually had a dream. I can't remember the last time I had one. It was probably due to my body feeling safe for the first time in almost a year.
I met my auntie, hugged her and she accepted me. Then I went with Leon to where he wanted to take me and I was actually happy.
I had woken up with this fresh in my mind. I was stuck on this problem.
Was I about to throw away all that pain to get to Orario only to leave just as I got here? For what, a stranger promising something that was definitely too good to be true.
But he also seemed so sincere about it. When his Gold eyes met mine, I felt a comfort I hadn't felt since mom was strong and well. It held strength and security with the power to back up his promise. I could tell he meant every word that he said. But I had come to learn over my adventure in the outside world that adults could lie just as easily as they breathed.
I wanted to trust him; I really did but what if it was too good to be true? I knew as soon as I went with him, there was no escape if it was a trap. Then again, where else was I meant to go? Who else better to trust than the person who helped me get in, gave me food and a safe place to sleep? If he wanted me he would've already done so. There wasn't much point going this far.
What was I supposed to do otherwise? Just wander around the largest city in the world and hope I find a single person. I know my aunt would stand out but I needed to be near her first. And that meant going into the busy streets, where I could be easily recognised. And that was after I figured out where to go or even where I was.
I had kept my head buried in Leon's shoulder for the majority of the journey, not daring to expose my eyes to anyone who could see them. When Leon left, he took all hope I had in getting through Orario safely. With him gone, there was nothing I could do other than wait.
*grrrrllll*
It seemed my stomach had other plans, shouting at me to get it some food. Whatever those things Leon gave me, while tasty, did not balance out my two-day streak without anything to eat. They gave just enough energy for my body to keep itself warm at night. Now I was back to nothing again and I wasn't sure I would make it to evening when Leon wanted to meet.
I fumbled the few coins in my pocket that Leon had gifted me if I wanted to explore and with another growl from my stomach I force myself to move.
Pulling my hood up was a habit at this point, a motion I had perfected ever since getting one. However this time, the twinge of pain from my ears being bent-in resonated with what Leon had said.
"Don't be ashamed of who you are."
I had always resented my ears, wondering why they were never as pointy as my mom's or the rest of the elves. Whenever I asked my mom, she said it was because I was special but the others told me the exact opposite. That it was the mark of a mistake, a freak of nature that should never occur. That's what they called me. That's why I hated my ears. It wasn't until I was 6 that was I told the real reason, that I was a mix between a human and an elf and that I wasn't one of a kind.
"Don't be ashamed of who you are."
...That sounds like something mom would say to me.
I reach into my bag; grab the small knife I had found unoccupied on a villager's porch and begin to rip through the sides of the hood where my ears would be.
Cautiously, I slip my hood back over my head but this time, filter my ears through the fabric. I felt immediate relief when my ears sprang through the holes I had cut out for them. I was glad I followed Leon's advice as this made me feel much more comfortable. There was no restriction, nothing holding them back. They were free.
I was mesmerised by how I could hear clearly while at the same time hide my identity. However, my stomach quickly reminded me of why I had stood up to begin with. Following its request I begin making my way through the streets of Orario. I think Leon called it the abandoned district. It was a fitting name from what I was seeing.
There was no one living here, hence the abandoned part, but there was other life. I saw an animal on 4 legs run past me. Its pointed ears made it look quite cute as it hissed at me as its tail slinked into the alleyways. There were a lot of bird nests and I think I saw a few rabbits.
I came across a building that was half sunk into the ground. At the front were two large wooden doors that had been splintered. There was some colourful glass just above that and then a bell right at the top. It was kind of a strange building; I wonder what it was used for before it was half destroyed.
I continued my walk, trying to find my way back to that place where all those people were. I'd heard so much in the 6 months about the great city of Orario, how you could find every race living together in peace. Does that mean even half-elves are accepted? That might be wishing for too much but hopefully, the comments are a bit less mean as normal. I mean that old lady who fed me in her home never remarked about my looks, but that was probably to stop me from getting suspicious and to stop me from running away. I was lucky I got out just in time.
Then a horrible thought popped into my head. What if everyone here is like that woman? What if they all know about me and want to capture me too? I mean if a woman in an isolated village wanted to capture me, then the people in the biggest city will want to do the same, they'll at least have heard about me in some way and be looking out.
'Maybe having my ears out is a bad idea?'
But then I remember Leon. He was kind. He brought me food, gave me a place to stay, and helped me break into Orario. I don't know why but I just know I can trust him, call it my instinct. Mom always told me to trust my instincts.
My first clue as to where the main street was, was with the sound of a lot of steps. Like a lot of them. Even from this far away, my ears could not make out a patch of silence beneath the constant barrage of boots on stone.
Mom always said I had good hearing as it took another minute of walking until I saw the cause for the sound. I was awestruck.
Is this what I missed by cowering into Leon's shoulder yesterday? It was truly a sight to behold. A swarm of different looking people merged together, melting between each other. I saw humans, some with darker skin than others. Some of them were women with not a lot of clothing covering them.
I saw some with animal ears, like the one on that animal I saw earlier. Some had bushy tails that wagged behind them. I saw someone tower above the crowd but also some people smaller than me walk between the legs of the masses.
Some carried weapons. Some wore armour while others stood behind stalls selling anything and everything. There was more food in this one street than I had seen in my life.
There were even some elves.
I shrunk back immediately.
I knew that Orario had elves, my aunt was one of them. But I thought they would be rare, like very rare. Didn't most just stay in their forests, hiding? This was just a fraction of the city but I could see at least 10 elves had walked past me already.
Then I saw it, or should I say them.
At first, I thought it was another elf but on closer look, their ears were the same as mine. Pointed but nowhere near as long or jagged as a normal elf. There really were other half-elves here.
I unconsciously stroked my own ear, internally confessing a sense of relief that I was not alone here. Maybe I really could find a place here. I wanted to join the congression of people. I went to step into the street.
"Get out of the way, disgusting thing!"
"Filthy half-breed!'
The female half-elf I was watching was pushed to the concrete floor as two elven men sneered at her. My eyes widened in fear.
'no, no, no, no nonononononono!'
My mind froze as I saw the elven men spit at the female half-elf and walk away. I barely registered the horrid look the other people gave to the elves who walked away with a look on their faces. I knew that look. It was pride when insulting a half-elf, one I had seen so many times.
I glanced back over to the half-elf who had taken the brunt of the discrimination. A few others had gone to help her, showing sympathy as others called the two elves some names I didn't understand. This was some hope, wasn't it? While the elven situation was bad, everyone else wasn't horrible.
"By the Gods, this is getting out of hand now," A middle-aged man said as he lent a hand to the woman who gratefully accepted it.
"It used to only be side glances before," The half-elf lady started. "But ever since the news of Princess Celia, it's gotten worse than I've ever seen."
'...what?'
"But they can't blame the entire half-elf population for the crime of a single half-elf,' A lady interjected.
'...huh?'
"I know it's kind of unfair but they were probably looking for an excuse just to punish me even more," The woman said with a defeated chuckle.
"I get that elves aren't the nicest but this is too much. This is just the start, it's only going to get worse, I can see it!" The man said though by this point, I wasn't listening.
'It's... my fault. I'm the reason the half-elves are being hurt. Because I...I,'
I didn't want to finish that thought. I didn't kill mom; I didn't curse anyone. I haven't done anything. I can't be blamed for...'
The half-elf lady sighed as she got back up.
"If only that cursed prince hadn't been born, things wouldn't have gotten this bad."
...
I ran.
I didn't bother hearing the rest of the conversation. It would only hurt me further... if that was even possible.
It was all my fault. I had gotten Mom killed. I had caused the elves to not only hate me but worsen the harassment of half-elves. Even other half-elves, people like me, hated me. It was probably my fault that they began the bullying in the first place. It was all my fault.
My fault the elves are angry.
My fault the half-elves get bullied.
My fault mom died.
My fault for being born.
My fault.
My fault.
My fault.
My fault.
I could feel it.
My fault.
My fault.
Something was boiling inside me.
My fault.
My fault.
It was something that I never had felt before.
My fault.
It was nothing like happiness or love but do I even know what those truly felt like?
My fault.
It was like fear but I didn't want to run, I wanted to turn and fight.
Fault.
It burned inside as tears streamed down my eyes.
Fault.
I wanted to rip my ears off and then go around and tear every elf's ears off as well. To make them feel the pain they had made me feel. I wanted to hurt them.
I wanted to scream out and shout to the world that had forsaken me. That had abandoned me and created me just so others could berate and hurt me, use me as an excuse and force me into a position and title I never deserved.
It was their fault.
The elves who had done nothing but bully me ever since I was born. Who made me realise that my existence was a sin and that my very birth was a curse on the royal family.
The king.
If he wanted to label me a curse, so be it. If that is how he sees me, then that's what I'll be. Forget my aunt, forget the other half-elves, they have already turned their backs on me anyway. They all see me as the Cursed Prince.
What is this feeling that is making me think like this? It doesn't matter now. It is helping me realise the truth of the world.
I've run as far as I can, I drop to the cobbled stone with a thud. Tears drop to the ground as I begin slamming my fists on the floor.
"Dammit!"
Why couldn't things just work?
"Dammit!"
I travelled so far, endured so much.
I keep punching the ground.
"Dammit!"
I had done so well and had finally gotten into Orario.
"AAAAAHHHHH!"
I scream out all my frustration to nobody. No one can hear me. No one can see me cry as I pathetically pull on my hair and ears, the things that tie me to this awful life.
I keep crying and shouting to no one, cursing my existence. The feeling inside me burned and all I wanted to do was lash out at anyone, I didn't care who. It didn't even need to be a bastard elf. I was so caught up in this feeling that swamped my mind that I didn't even recognise the set of footsteps nearby.
"Oh my, are you all right?"
The voice immediately grabbed my attention. It stopped my crying and my shouting ceased to a silent whisper. The voice was soft but it held enormous weight to it.
As I looked at where the voice was coming from, it spoke again.
"Oh my dear, what's happened?"
It took the second time for me to hear that it belonged to a woman but I knew it wasn't like my mother, or that woman from the village either.
I begin to look up as I wipe water from my eyes to get a clearer look. It started with black heeled boots covered by a long tight black dress with a jade green outline. The dress went all the way up the well-defined body, with her shoulders showing but her arms covered by sleeves that stretched to the palm of her hands. The dress didn't look like a normal dress, it looked padded, almost like it had bits of armour in it. A long collar wrapped itself around the woman's neck as long, flowing black hair swept over her shoulders and down to her torso.
It only took a few seconds to take in her body but it was her face that kept me staring. Cold, thin lips on a rounded chin but it wasn't fat, there didn't seem to be much fat on her anywhere apart from her chest. However, the part that entranced me the most was her eyes.
They were Jade, just like mine.
However, unlike mine, they were strong and fierce. The stare she was giving me was encompassing and slightly uncomfortable, almost as if it was a predator finally catching its prey. She too was eyeing me; I could feel her eyes glisten against my body.
"Are you all right?" The woman asked again.
I quickly broke eye contact. What was I thinking, letting her see my eyes? She probably knew about the Cursed Prince.
I mumbled that I was fine but that wasn't enough.
"Boy, you can't lie to a Goddess."
I jumped back at the statement. A Goddess? I'd actually met a Goddess. This isn't what I imagined a deity to look like but when I met her stare, I could tell she wasn't lying.
"R-really?" my voice stuttering and weak.
"Yes really. Now that I've told you my secret, surely you can tell me what's wrong with you."
Her voice was comforting for some reason. It felt like I couldn't disobey it.
"I...I...I don't know. There's this feeling inside me and I don't know what it is," I answered.
"Oh, can you describe please, maybe I can help?" The Goddess said sweetly, a smile graced her thin lips as she looked down at me.
"It burns. I can feel it in my stomach, in my arms and my mind. It makes me want to hurt those who have hurt me," I explain in the only way I know how. It was something I had never experienced before, the closest thing I can resemble is the feeling when I heard the elves talk bad about me and my mom.
"Oh my, that is called anger my dear child," The Goddess said, her smile not leaving her face, if anything it widened slightly.
"Anger?"
"Yes, it is a feeling you mortals feel when you don't like something and want to do something about it in a certain way. Tell me, what made you feel this way?"
The dam broke then.
I don't why I told the Goddess. I don't why I kept talking. How I was treated in the elven forest, how the elves hurt and abused me. How I was labelled a curse and forced to go on the run. How it felt like the world hated me and that I was a mistake and I was being punished for something I didn't do.
I failed to notice the gleam in the Goddess' eyes or the widening of her smile as it twisted almost psychotic. All that mattered to me was that someone was listening to me and not berating me for just existing and being me. The way she comforted me made me look past the wicked look in her eyes.
By the end of my rant, I was out of breath and crying again, cursing the world. I was back to where I was before. Alone and nowhere to go, but this time I wasn't alone.
"That sounds awful. I will admit I had heard the rumours circle around a bit but after listening to you, I can tell you are not what they say you are."
I look up into the Goddess' jade eyes. I was so grateful for what she said. She put her hand on my shoulder and pulled me into a hug, which I gradually accepted. The hug didn't fill me with safety or compassion but it was company. The companionship I had missed for over half a year, maybe that was why I was so easily moved by this Goddess' actions of comfort and support.
"I have a proposition," She said as she half realised me from her hold.
This reminded me of last night when Leon said the same thing.
"You are all alone right now, yes? So how about you come with me? I promise to help you and make you use that feeling inside you for what it's intended purpose. In time, you won't need to worry about what others think. If you come with me I will make you into something that won't have to worry about anything again."
"Really?"
"I promise."
I won't need to worry about what others think. That sounds like a blessing, to not care about what the elves have to say about me or what they do. And she's going to help me with this feeling inside of me.
Leon offered to help me meet my aunt and then take me with him. At the time, It sounded amazing but now I know what normal people think of me. My aunt would probably just abandon me or even try to hurt me if the way the elves acted was anything to go by.
And the people who Leon would take me to would probably just harass me too. I believed Leon in that he would be nice to me and that he would help me but would he always be there and would he always want to protect me? One day he could turn on me and not want me anymore.
"Will you promise to never leave me?" I vulnerably asked the Goddess as I dropped my head in sadness. She would probably lie and say yes but I wanted to know what she would say. I felt her pull me back in for a hug, her grip tightening on my body and soul. I thought it was to show her true intentions as she never said anything for a while. It blocked my vision of the twisted smile of joy on her face.
"If you become my child, my only child then I promise to never leave you."
"Y-your child?" I sniffled out in confusion.
"Yes, when a deity takes in a mortal, they become their child. But we will be different. If you become my child, then I shall be your mother and that means I will never leave you, ever."
That was all I needed to hear for me to fully embrace the hug. The hug she gave suddenly became warm and comforting. It felt strong and protective like I could never be hurt as long as I stayed in her arms. It was truly a mother's hug for her child. That was all I wanted.
"If you are to become my child then I should know your name," The Goddess said in a hushed tone.
"L-Leonidas Los Alf," I mumbled. I couldn't remember the last time I said my full name. I didn't even tell Leon that. That must show that this is the better choice if I can trust her more.
"No, not any more. If you are to become my child you will lose your old name," Almost as if she could hear my protest before I said it she continued. "That will get rid of any connection to your elven family and those that have hurt you."
That made sense. Why would I want to be connected to them? Getting rid of my name would be a good idea as it I would no longer be the cursed prince, I'd just be me, the child of this Goddess. But...
"I like my first name; my mom gave it to me. Can I keep that? I asked. I felt a sudden grip on my arm, almost as if this was deemed an act of defiance and that my Goddess didn't like it. Surely not already.
"Of course my darling. How about we shorten it to Leo instead? It is a lovely name after all."
I nodded quickly in acceptance, after all, Leo is what mom used to call me anyway. I knew I made the right choice, her grip getting tighter was just her wanting to hug me tighter, and that must have been it.
The Goddess then slowly pulled me away and crouched down slightly, her head still above mine.
"Ok, then Leo, would you officially like to follow me and become my one and only child."
I thought for a second, about Leon and his offer and what that future could hold. It might've held a large family and been helped and supported by a strong kind man, but it also could have led to more bullying and hurt from the rest of the world, as my identity would've been revealed.
I look into the Goddess' eyes; my Goddess' eyes and I already know what I want. She is here right now, helping me at my lowest point while Leon, my aunt or anyone else is nowhere to be seen.
Maybe it was fate that brought us together, that is what I told myself as I nodded.
"Yes please," I confirm as I stop my crying and swell with determination as that feeling from earlier fades but doesn't disappear.
The Goddess smiles as I see a glint in her eyes.
"That makes me very happy Leo. My name is Goddess Hel, it is a pleasure to meet you."
"What are you the Goddess of?" I ask, smiling at my future.
Goddess Hel smiled at me, he jade eyes digging into mine.
"I'm the Goddess of Death."
That's all you get for the backstory for now but it will come more and more.
SoarenStrafer - Yeah Elves arae real bastards. As for Leon, he is a new character introduced in the new Sword Oratario LN in the school district arc. Thought It'd be cool to use that as it is a good concept to link the two together for future interactions.
jank7457 - For his training, we will have to wait and see. As for Odin, I'm not really sure right now. He doesn't seem like the type of God to work with Evilus but nordic mythology won't be ignored.
Guest - Right now I don't think a love interest is on Nathan's mind right now and not many people are going to see him as a potential romantic partner but maybe in the future. Will have to see what Nathan does.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
As always, see ya next time, Peace!