26- nightmares (breakfast table / parting words regret / I'm haunted by the lies that I have loved, the actions I have hated)

TK's body lay at the top of the pile of corpses in front of the stadium, arched back, head down, mouth open and his beautiful green eyes staring back at him. Carlos fell to his knees screaming, he could have saved him if he had paid attention to the prisoners around him when he went to get the lists, he could have. He began to cry, forgetting everything around him until he felt the barrel of a rifle against his neck. He didn't react, didn't try to save his life - without TK, it wasn't worth living. The gun went off.

Carlos jumped, woken with a start by his nightmare. He hadn't realised he'd fallen asleep as he ran his eyes over the lists. Still shaking from the images his mind had created, he looked around, but he was alone. So much the better, it would have been stupid to die like that, having succumbed to fatigue.

He looked at the lists and spotted something he hadn't seen before: the children were divided up by age. As well as looking for his three names, he began to look at the ages of the children, looking for one who was the same as Jonah.

Carlos had to go over it several times, he couldn't keep his concentration, his thoughts kept drifting back to TK and the nightmare he'd had. He couldn't say how long it took before he spotted one of the children of the right age.

Not seeing what else to do, he put the documents back behind his back and left the flat that had sheltered him in search of a plan. The asphalt was littered with bodies, the gutters were overflowing with blood and many of the buildings were on fire. He started to walk along the walls, looking everywhere around him for the slightest movement or noise. Now that it was daylight, he felt much more exposed than under cover of night.

Fortunately, the fighting had moved away from this area and he found a trio of plans with different ladders without being endangered. He had trouble finding the school he was looking for, but eventually spotted it. It was a long way away, but he didn't have a better plan, so he set off.

It was well into the day when he arrived near the school. He'd had to avoid a few battle zones, and was doing well so far, but he couldn't escape the one in front of the school. American soldiers were fighting the terrorists, some of whom were using the children as shields. He hid behind a wall and waited for the situation to change.

He spotted a group of five soldiers entering the sewers and hesitated to follow them. The idea that these men must be on edge and would shoot him before he could identify himself crossed his mind. He refused, hoping he wouldn't have to stand still for too long.

His hopes were rewarded, it was as if he could follow the progress of the men, he could see the terrorists in the windows falling one after the other and within fifteen minutes the rest of the soldiers were able to enter. They came out in quick succession with children aged between two and five in their arms.

Carlos decided to come forward with his hands held high to show that he posed no danger, but this didn't stop several soldiers from pointing their guns at him. Their reaction attracted the attention of other soldiers around them, including those who had passed through the sewers, recognisable by the dirt on their clothes. One of them, a short, thin, bald man, glared at him and moved closer, followed by another tall, dark-haired man.

"Carlos?" he called out as he continued to approach.

Try as he might to remember, the man didn't look familiar.

"Your name is Carlos, isn't it?" the man insisted.

The policeman wondered what was going to happen to him as he nodded.