you come around and the armour falls

The next morning brought a haze of exhaustion and uncertainty. Jay stood in the sterile waiting room at Med, watching through the glass as a nurse finished her check-up on Erin. She had protested the whole way here, insisting she was fine, but after what she had been through, Jay wasn't taking any chances.

Voight had left them after ensuring Erin was safely inside, heading back to the District to regroup with the rest of the team. The hunt for Kyle Andrew was in full swing, and Jay knew it wouldn't be long before Intelligence tracked him down. But for now, the priority was Erin.

Jay's eyes drifted to her as she sat on the hospital bed, her posture stiff but her gaze distant. She'd barely spoken since the warehouse, and it gnawed at him—her silence, the faraway look in her eyes. He wanted to fix it, to make everything right again, but he didn't know how.

A soft knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts. Will stepped into the room, glancing between Erin and Jay with a sympathetic look. "Hey, how's she doing?" Will asked quietly, his tone gentle but laced with concern.

Jay crossed his arms, his eyes never leaving Erin. "Physically, she's okay. They didn't hurt her too badly." His voice dropped lower. "But I don't know, man. She's been quiet."

Will nodded, understanding clear in his eyes. He approached Erin carefully, sitting down on the stool next to her bed. "Erin," he said softly, his voice professional but warm. "How are you feeling?"

She blinked, as if coming out of a fog, and looked up at him. "I'm… fine." Her voice was hoarse, but her answer was automatic—like she was saying it just because she thought she had to.

Will glanced at Jay before pressing on gently. "Physically, you'll be okay with some rest. But mentally… it's okay if you're not fine right now."

Erin's jaw tightened, her eyes flicking to Jay for a brief second before settling back on her hands. She didn't respond, and Jay's heart clenched at the sight.

Will leaned back, giving her space. "I'll give you some time. If you need anything, just let me know."

As Will stepped out, Jay hesitated for a moment before moving closer to her bed. He pulled up a chair and sat down next to her, his knee brushing hers lightly. "Erin…" His voice was soft, but she didn't look up.

"Should have been smarter," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

Jay frowned, leaning in. "What? Erin, this wasn't your fault."

Her hands clenched into fists, her knuckles white against the hospital sheet. "I should have seen it coming. I should've… I put everyone in danger."

"Erin, stop." His voice was firmer now, and he reached out, taking one of her hands in his. "You didn't do anything wrong. This was all Marcus and Kyle's fault. They did this, not you."

She shook her head, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "You could've been killed, Jay. You and Antonio… and for what? Because I wasn't strong enough to stop it."

Jay's chest ached at the raw pain in her voice. He stood, moving to sit beside her on the bed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "We got out of there, Erin. We found you. That's all that matters."

She trembled against him, her body rigid with tension. "But Kyle, it's still out there." Her voice cracked, and for the first time, she let the fear slip through.

Jay tightened his hold on her, resting his chin against her head. "Then we'll deal with it. Together." His voice was low, but there was an intensity behind it that left no room for doubt.

She didn't say anything, but after a long moment, she leaned into him, her body slowly relaxing as the walls she'd been holding up started to crack. Jay held her, offering her the silent comfort she needed, knowing that words wouldn't fix this—but being there for her, that was something he could do.

Minutes passed, and the steady beeping of the hospital machines was the only sound in the room. Erin's breathing evened out, her head resting against Jay's shoulder.

Later that afternoon, after they'd been discharged, Jay drove Erin back to her apartment. The sun was just starting to dip below the horizon, casting a golden light over the city, but neither of them really noticed. The silence between them wasn't uncomfortable, but it was heavy with unspoken thoughts.

As Jay pulled up outside her building, Erin hesitated before opening the door. "Do you… want to come up?" she asked, her voice soft.

Jay looked at her, surprised by the vulnerability in her eyes. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Yeah, I'll come up."

They walked up to her apartment together, the familiar space somehow feeling different after everything they'd been through. Erin tossed her keys onto the counter and stood in the middle of the room, looking lost.

Jay stood behind her, watching her carefully. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself. "I don't even know where to start.I…mean during my undercover they were always..handsy."

Jay's body froze, his jaw tightening as the weight of Erin's words settled over him like a storm cloud. His mind raced with a thousand different images, none of them good. The thought of anyone putting their hands on her—hurting her—ignited a fire in his chest that he struggled to contain.

He took a step closer to her, his voice low and controlled despite the fury simmering beneath the surface. "What did they do to you?"

Erin let out a shaky breath, her eyes dropping to the floor as she hugged herself tighter. "It wasn't… nothing happened, not really," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "But it was close. Too close. The way they looked at me, the way they talked… I felt like any minute, they'd cross the line." She swallowed hard, her voice trembling. "And I couldn't do anything. I had to play along, had to pretend like I wasn't terrified."

Jay's fists clenched at his sides, his knuckles turning white. He had known undercover work was dangerous, but hearing this, hearing her say it, made it all too real. The thought of her going through that alone, without him there to protect her, was unbearable.

"You don't have to fo through that if you don't feel like it."Jay said, his voice thick with emotion as he stepped closer, closing the distance between them. "Not now,not alone." He reached out, his hand gently touching her arm, as if to ground her. "I'm so sorry, Erin."

She shook her head, her lips pressing into a thin line. "I chose this, Jay. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to go undercover. I just…" Her voice cracked, and she let out a bitter laugh. "I can handle myself, you know that. But this… it's different."

Jay's heart ached at the sight of her trying to hold herself together, her usual strength faltering under the weight of what she'd been through.She let him hold her, her body trembling against his as she finally let herself fall apart.

Erin clung to him, her face buried in his chest as the tears she'd been holding back finally broke free.

Jay's chest tightened, as he hold her tightly."It's okay,let it all out.."He murmured,stroking her hair.

For a long moment, they stood like that, wrapped in each other's arms, the weight of the world lifting just enough for them to breathe. Jay could feel her heart pounding against his chest, could feel the tremble in her hands as she clung to him like he was her lifeline. And in that moment, he realized that he needed her just as much as she needed him.

It's been years,if you asked Jay Halstead six months ago he thought he would have never saw Erin Lindsay,his ex girlfriend and partner, again.And now there they were, saving each other.

Well, Jay wasn't hurt physically,but the days where they didn't know where Erin was made him feel like he couldn't breathe.Now there she was in his arms and he felt complete,again,in a way he hadn't felt in the past two years.When he had to live without her.

Slowly, Erin pulled back, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice a little steadier now. "I didn't mean to fall apart like that."

"Don't apologize," Jay said softly, his thumb brushing a stray tear from her cheek. "You don't have to be strong all the time, Erin. Not with me."

She gave him a small, grateful smile, her eyes still shining with unshed tears. "I don't deserve this,not after I left," she whispered.

Jay's heart clenched at her words. He cupped her face gently, his thumb brushing the tear-streaked skin beneath her eyes. "Erin, don't say that," he whispered, his voice soft but filled with conviction. "You didn't deserve what you went through, and you don't deserve to carry that guilt."

Erin's eyes flickered with something—doubt, pain, maybe both. She looked away, her gaze distant. "But I left, Jay. I walked away from you, from Intelligence… from us. And I can't just pretend that didn't happen."

Jay felt the weight of her words, the truth of them hanging heavy in the air. She had left, and it had torn him apart. But standing here now, after everything, he knew that holding onto that pain wouldn't bring them any closer to healing.

"You had your reasons," he said quietly, his hands still cradling her face. "I don't know all of them, and maybe I never will. But what I do know is that I never stopped caring about you.Not for a second,not even when I was angry for how you left."

Erin's breath hitched, her eyes widening as she looked up at him, startled by his confession. She blinked, her tears brimming once more as her defenses crumbled. "Jay…"

He shook his head gently, his voice unwavering. "No, Erin. I need you to hear this. I'm not going to pretend that it didn't hurt when you left, or that I wasn't angry or confused. But I also know that you did what you thought was best. And I'm not holding that against you. Not anymore."

Erin's bottom lip trembled as she let out a shaky breath. "But how can you still care after all of that? After I broke everything we had?"

Jay's chest tightened at the vulnerability in her voice. He moved his hand to hers, intertwining their fingers. "Because love doesn't just disappear, Erin. Not for me. What we had… it was real. It is real. And yeah, maybe things got messed up along the way and it was both us fault,not just yours.I might have been too harsh and angry to see it before." He confessed,even if it wasn't the right time maybe.

He looked at her,"But that doesn't mean it's over."

Erin's eyes softened, and for a moment, Jay thought she might say something else, but instead, she just leaned into his touch, closing her eyes as if savoring the moment.

"I'm glad you came up," she whispered after a long pause.

Jay's heart swelled as he looked down at her, his hand still cradling her face. "Me too," he said quietly.

In that moment, everything else faded away—the pain, the fear, the darkness that had threatened to pull them apart. All that mattered was that they were here, together. And for the first time in a long time, Jay felt like maybe, just maybe, they were going to be okay.

Erin turned, her eyes searching his. "You never gave up on me, did you?"

Jay's heart tightened, and he shook his head. "Not for a second."

A flicker of something passed through her gaze—something vulnerable, raw, but hopeful. She took a step closer to him, her fingers brushing his. "I don't know if I'm ready for everything to go back to the way it was," she whispered. "But I know I can't do this without you."

Jay's breath caught in his throat as her words hit him. Slowly, he reached up and cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that had begun to fall. "You don't have to be ready," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm not going anywhere, Erin. We'll figure this out, at your pace."

She leaned into his touch, her eyes fluttering shut. For a moment, the weight of everything seemed to lift just a little, and all that mattered was the two of them, standing together in the quiet of her apartment.

When she opened her eyes, her gaze locked onto his, filled with gratitude and something else—something that had always been there, simmering beneath the surface. Jay could feel the pull between them, the lingering tension that had never fully gone away, and for the first time in what felt like forever, there was hope.

Erin took a shaky breath, her fingers curling into his shirt. "Stay with me," she whispered, her voice barely above a breath. "Just… be here."

Jay's heart thudded in his chest as he nodded, pulling her closer until their foreheads touched. "I'm here," he promised. "I'm not going anywhere."