Late in the night, as the men talked strategy and planned, Kagome leaned forward against the vanity between her and Izayoi's cots and clutched the edges of the fine, stained wood as the healer set the last of the stitches into her skin. Thunder and wind roared outside and even the thick, water-proofed canvas of their tent did not stop the candles from flickering completely. With each stitch of the needle, she counted the spaces between thunderclaps—and when it was done, loosed a shaking breath.

After applying a salve and bandaging it, the healer left her to the solitude of the empty tent. Leaning forward, Kagome rested her brow against the wood of the vanity and let the crisp, wet winds rustling through the tent flaps soak into her bare back and the bandages. Her heart thudded in her chest, in rhythm with each throbbing pulse of pain as the salve slowly took effect. Another bolt of thunder rocked through the camp and muffled the sound of someone stepping inside.

"You're back."

Kagome burst up from the vanity and clutched at the edge of the table as her back screamed in protest. "Izayoi, I…"

Izayoi squeeze her umbrella handle with a death grip as she stood just inside the tent entrance. The rattan on the handle bit into her palm as water droplets slid down the waxed paper to drip on the furs. She lifted her chin and narrowed her eyes, lining them with icy civility. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry I ignored you when you came out to talk to me." She swallowed her nerves and the pain and forced herself to stand up straight, wincing as the stitches pulled.

Her chin went even higher into the air as she looked down her nose at Kagome. "Every time. You ignored me every time I came out there to help you."

"I know."

Leaning her umbrella against one of the pillars holding up their tent, Izayoi finally stepped fully inside and sat on the bench to the right of the entrance. She unlaced her boots and refused to meet Kagome's eyes. "If I'm going to forgive you, I'm going to need more than that. We aren't little girls anymore. You don't get to just ignore your problems and hurt me and then think 'sorry' is enough. I deserve an explanation."

Relief sagged Kagome's shoulders, pushing the open folds of her yukata further down her shoulders. The chilly, wet breeze whispering through the tent helped ease some of the throbbing heat from the wound on her back. "He hurt me," she said, and as she had hundreds of times over the past three months, replayed his words in her mind. "He said…no, he implied that I wanted what happened that night. At the citadel."

Izayoi froze for a moment, one boot half off before she pulled it the rest of the way off her foot and set it neatly to the side with its pair.

"More than that he said…he said that I was only good for rutting or bait," she blurted, wanting it all out now that she'd begun. "But I…gods Izayoi in that moment before I understood what he said I wanted him—and he took that piece of me and left it in tatters at his feet." She bit her lip and dropped her gaze to the irori burning, deceptively cheerful, between them. "I couldn't think or explain then. Everything was just…just frozen inside of me."

For a time, Izayoi said nothing. Only the crackling pop of the wood in the fire, the roaring bursts of thunder, and the screaming gusts of wind, danced between them. And then, "I didn't know you felt for him that way."

Kagome closed her eyes as her heart trembled. "I didn't either. Not until after."

Standing, Izayoi finally crossed the space between them and stopped in front of the vanity. "Come. You should cover your wound now and rest." She held out her arm to help her stand up straight.

Tears lined her eyes but Kagome blinked them back and leaned into her grasp. "I'm sorry," she said again.

"I forgive you." Izayoi guided her over to her cot and helped ease her down to sit. As she leaned over to help her tug the yukata back up fully over her shoulders, a long necklace fell out of the folds of her haori. An ebony inu with golden eyes dangled between her breasts as she tugged Kagome's clothing up into place.

Kagome reached up to touch it without thinking. "This is…"

Leaning back, she pulled the warm stone out of reach and tucked it neatly back inside her top. "Yes." Color warmed the tops of her cheeks.

How many times had she seen Kosuke carving something during the interminable hours of his watching over them? Aware of the ears listening outside, Kagome only smiled and leaned on her side as Izayoi stepped back to her own cot. "I'm glad you know what it feels like, now."

More color rushed across her cheeks and to the tips of her ears as Izayoi peeked to the tent entrance. "It might be nothing. I'm only human."

Kagome remembered the way Kosuke often looked at Izayoi when she wasn't looking and shook her head. "No. I don't think that matters."

She sank down onto her cot and tucked her legs neatly under her before laying down as well, so they faced each other again across the fire. "How do you know?"

"Because I know what it's like to be looked at by…by someone who hates you for what you are. To know that you are hated for something you can't control or change."

Izayoi closed her eyes and smothered the urge to ream Sesshoumaru up one side and down the other. "I'm sorry he made you feel that way."

Staring into the slowly dying flames of the irori, Kagome shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe he's not wrong about me. I haven't exactly done anything to help the West."

"Do not let someone who cannot express their feelings in a healthy way determine your worth, Kagome."

"I know. But still." Tugging her blanket closer, she tangled her fingers in the soft wool.

Izayoi didn't argue. She didn't say anything until a burst of thunder echoed far off. "The storm is moving away finally."

"The camp is going to be a muddy mess tomorrow. The healer probably isn't going to let me out of the tent." Sighing, Kagome rolled to her other side and put her back to the fire. "We should sleep soon."

When Kagome turned, Izayoi watched from her cot. Kagome had never been a person prone to brooding or quiet sorrow. Even after Atsuki's death, the vocality of her grief and overwhelmed the court. Now she seemed smaller, more subdued, curled up on her side in the dim lighting. Worry pushed her up to lean on one elbow. "Kagome?"

"Yeah?"

"For what it's worth…when someone pushes you away so violently, in such a hateful manner as Sesshoumaru did, I think it says more about how much he loves you-and about how much he hates himself for loving you—than it does about you."

Kagome tucked arm under her head and stared at the shadows flickering on the tent wall. "Maybe, but that doesn't excuse what he said. Or what he did."

"No, it doesn't." Silence fell again for such a long time that Izayoi wondered if she had fallen asleep. She had just laid down again when Kagome's whispered words filled the quiet on the tail end of another distant bolt of thunder.

"I'm supposed to have a purpose. Bokusenu-sama tells me that every time we talk. You have a purpose to fulfil, young miko. Your time will come and everything up to that day will simply make you stronger." Closing her eyes, Kagome tugged the blanket up to her chin and half buried her face in the pillow. "But I don't want to be stronger. Why do I have to exist to serve some greater good or follow some path the kami laid out for me? Why can't I just exist and live and love the people around me? Why do I exist only to reach that one goal? Once I do what I'm supposed to, what will be left of me to live on?"

No ready answer existed for Izayoi to give. Admitting she had no answer seemed trite and unhelpful. Pointing out that everyone in their world served a purpose seemed unlikely to bear the answer Kagome sought. So Izayoi said nothing, and when Kagome's breathing turned erratic and the muffled sounds of her sobs reached her, Izayoi closed her eyes and waited for it to stop. Only when her sobs turned to soft, stilted snores did Izayoi loose a long breath and wait for sleep to claim her—Kagome's words haunting her even in her dreams.

Word Count – 1458

Thank you guys so much for reading, as always. I promise I Iam/I trying to follow a posting schedule, time just ran away from me there for a while. I tried to write the next chapter for A Wretched Endeavor, but the story just wasn't coming to me. Anyway, the end of the school year is almost here and I'll have a few weeks of holiday to enjoy after I finish marking exams and lesson planning, so hopefully I can update a bit more then. Also, if you haven't yet already, take a look at my instagram shewritesexcerpts and follow. I'll post WIPs, updates, and other writing content about my fics and original fiction. I'm also working on a discord server. Thanks again for your patience and loyalty for sticking around after so many years. We're about 3/4 of the way through this one, I think. 3