and sings the tune without the words

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: MDZS/The Untamed are not mine.

Chapter Fourteen

Dear Lan-xiong,

It's okay if I call you that, right? I don't want to be too familiar if it makes you uncomfortable, but I'd like to consider you my friend. I hope that's not too forward!

A-Die had a small qi deviation, not a terrible one, but it was still scary because if he dies then Dage has to become zongzhu and he should be able to grow up more. I'd write to your brother but I figure Dage is, or I would write to Lan-xiansheng but I'm sure the healers are, so I thought I'd write to you.

The truth is, I'm scared, and I know that when Jiang Wuxian has had his episodes it has scared you. How do you get through the fear? I know A-Die won't want to be treated like a fragile person, and you do a great job not doing that to Jiang-er-xiong. Can you give me some advice?

I don't have many people to talk to, especially about this. My grandfather and his father and all the Nie have died of qi deviations but no one can tell me why. It seems like people are just expecting A-Die to die eventually and that's really not fair! And then what will happen to Dage! Will it happen to him too?

Will it happen to me? I don't like to cultivate because all the cultivators in my family line qi deviate, but am I doomed anyway?

I'm sorry to dump this on you like this, but you were the first person I thought of. I don't know, I really don't know. Do you think there might be books in the Lan library that could help A-Die? Your clan is well known for knowledge on spiritual energy, and you have the best library. Would you be willing to check into healing from qi deviation?

Apologies, I'm simply very concerned.

I hope you and Jiang-er-xiong are both well and have had a peaceful winter with no interruptions by the Wen clan. I'm sure A-Die would have been informed, but I worry about you too!

There's too much to worry about these days.

Nie Huaisang

Dear Nie-xiong,

I am amenable to being called Lan-xiong. A-Ying would prefer Wuxian-xiong to Jiang-er-xiong. We consider you a friend, particularly after the last conference.

Xiongzhang has spoken of it, and is spending time in the library. Shufu is coincidentally spending time in the library. I daresay they are searching for similar information. We can join them when possible to accelerate the research.

I do not like to leave A-Ying's side when he has episodes. I worry for him, and I know he fears that he could wake without his memories, so I fear that as well. But I know I will help him through it again if necessary. I don't know if this helps. You might consider what you can do to alleviate other burdens your father carries, if possible. It won't necessarily alleviate the fear, but it can be an outlet.

This sounds like it goes deeper than just a qi deviation if it runs in the family, and so A-Ying is making notes on what might be underlying and how we can research it. Some things in life are unfair, but this seems less like unfairness and more like it's being caused by something. If we determine what is causing qi deviations, we can find a solution. We will certainly help you.

Your letter came as a surprise because you haven't written before, but we would not turn you away. The Cloud Recesses has a fairly extensive library, one that is said to rival the Wen sect's. A-Ying and I will look with Xiongzhang and Shufu. I'm sure Healer Lan will help as well, if he is to be informed.

I apologize if you did not intend A-Ying to know; we are rarely apart. We are both well, and the winter has been serene in the Cloud Recesses, as I hope it has otherwise been for you. We will take care when traveling to Lotus Pier next season.

Worry about what you can influence, only.

Lan Wangji and Jiang Wuxian

Dear Lan-xiong & Wuxian-xiong,

You're both so kind and helpful! I very much appreciate it! I don't know what I would do without your help. If Wuxian-xiong can point me in directions of research, I can look in the Nie library for what I can.

With the two of you, your brother, and Xiansheng on the case, I'm sure we'll have an answer quickly, or at least directions in which to look.

A-Die is grumpy, and he said I'm too much like a fluttering bird around him when I worry, so I'll definitely have to do something. I know Muqin used to take care of inventorying for domestic supplies for the Unclean Realm, so maybe that's something I could help him with. Just take over that duty so he doesn't have to do it. It's work, but I like domestic supplies, so maybe that would work.

Ah, you and Wuxian-xiong have such a beautiful relationship, and I am privileged to know how close you are and how you anticipate each other's needs and worries.

You must be right that there is an underlying cause. And if there's a cause, there has to be a solution, as well! I somehow missed that, and I'm glad you pointed it out. Your help is already fruitful!

I'm so sorry I haven't written before; I've never had anyone to write to before, and you were the first person I thought of now. I'm so glad you welcomed my letter, and I will be sure to continue correspondence. I can write to you about all sorts of things, like poetry and art and literature…

Ah, I don't actually know if this is something that is supposed to be widely known, whoops. So Healer Lan might not know and maybe I shouldn't have even told you, but I can't regret it because now we can write back and forth.

Even if I don't write about A-Die, do you think Jiang Wanyin would appreciate letters? It would be nice to stay in touch with everyone.

I'm very glad the winter has been uneventful and calm. When you go to Lotus Pier, maybe you can see what their library might have as well?

I don't know if I can control my worry like that, Lan-xiong. It sounds hard!

Nie Huaisang

I had some trouble figuring out who would write, and my lovely beta reader, adrian_kres, helped me figure it out through conversing about the options. This seemed like a good way to get the kids started on the Nie problem, not that they know the cause. Nie Huaisang doesn't know enough about it to give them direction, and I doubt Lan Xichen knows a lot more, aside from it being associated with their cultivation, which is largely secret-secret. The Nie healers, who wrote to Lan Qiren, are being discreet as well.

a-die = dad

dage = older brother (casual)

er-xiong = second brother

muqin = mother

shufu = uncle

xiansheng = teacher

xiong = brother

xiongzhang = older brother (formal)

zongzhu = sect leader