THE LAND OF FIRE AND ICE
PART 1
(An aerial view shows the Icelandic wilderness as mystical Norse-sounding music plays in the background, from her breath-taking black-sand beaches to her explosive geysers to her majestic waterfalls that resemble a medieval fairytale setting. Cut to a man in his 30s in casual attire (cargo shorts, navy blue shirt, simple camp) standing in front of an active volcano, smiling to the camera. Thick black ash spews from the crater behind him)
HOST: This… is Iceland. One of the most unique places on the planet, filled with dazzling scenery and natural features … from beautiful glaciers to black beaches, to the most destructive volcanoes, like the one just behind me. This hot-and-cold contrast has earned it the nickname "the land of fire and ice". It is here … that we gathered 16 strangers.
(Cut to two trucks wading through a lush valley, one red and one yellow, with eight contestants on the back of each one. They make their way into a forest of spindly trees.)
HOST: While they may be strangers to each other, they are very well-known; sixteen animated characters from sixteen different Cartoon Network series. They have been split into two tribes of eight, and will be marooned in the Icelandic wilderness, left to fend for themselves. They must learn to adapt, or they're voted off. In the end, only one will remain, and will leave Iceland with million dollars in cash as their reward, as well as the coveted title of the very first Cartoon Network Sole Survivor.
(Cut to the back of the red truck, where four men and four women shake in their seat as the truck passes through rocky terrain. They are all wearing red puffy parkas to protect from the Icelandic frost. Some are thrilled to start the adventure, hollering wildly, while others suspiciously eye the other contestants, unsure of who to trust. We see Mordecai from "Regular Show", a tall humanoid blue jay, cheering excitedly.)
HOST: On the red Katla tribe, we have Mordecai, a groundskeeper for a local park from Phoenix, Arizona
(Cut to Mordecai in the confessional.)
MORDECAI: Dude, I'm in Iceland! This is epic as hell! MOM, I'M ON TV! Oh man ... How did I even get here?! I was just minding my business at the park I work, and this shady-looking guy comes over and he's like "ey, you wanna sign up for a TV show for a chance to win a million bucks?", and I was like "a whole month of no work, and all I gotta do is do some challenges and survive in the wilderness? sign me up right away!" and now I'm here! Feels awesome! WOOOOOOO!
(Cut back to the truck. We see Susan Test from "Johnny Test" glancing methodically at her tribemates.)
HOST: Susan, a teenage scientist from Porkbelly, Oregon
(We see Edward from "Camp Lazlo", a 4'11' short-tempered platypus. He is seated next to Mordecai, visibly annoyed at the blue jay's loud cheering.)
HOST: Edward, a boy scout from Prickly Pines, Wisconsin
(Next, we see Juniper from "Juniper Lee". She looks gleeful, enjoying the scenery.)
HOST: Juniper, a guardian of the magical world, from Orchid Bay, California
(Cut to Juniper in the confessional.)
JUNIPER: Hey how's it going? I'm Juniper of Orchid Bay City, California, and I am the Te Xuan Ze, the protector of the magical realm and the mediator between the human world and magic world… at least that's the case on my show. I don't even know if my powers will carry over in this … dimension? Can I call it that? It's already hard enough hiding my powers back home, so here's hoping no monsters pop up in this … world?
(Cut back to the red truck. The camera pans over to Gwen Tennyson from "Ben 10", who slouches on her backpack, almost like she is bored.)
HOST: Gwen, a middle school student from Bellwood, New Jersey
(We see Grim Reaper from "The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy". His boney face is unreadable; the other contestants seem terrified of him as he sits in the corner of the vehicle relatively far from anyone else, seemingly unimpressed by the scenery)
HOST: Grim, a literal Grim Reaper from ... the Underworld?
(Cut to Sumo from the show "Clarence". He sits opposite Grim, staring at him inquisitively. Grim tries his best to ignore his stares.)
HOST: Sumo, an elementary school student from Aberdale, Arizona
(Last, we see Frankie Foster from "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends". She sits in the corner of the truck, glancing at all her tribemates, thinking of potential allies from the get-go)
HOST: And Frankie, a caretaker at a foster home for imaginary friends from Eureka, California
(Cut to Frankie in the confessional)
FRANKIE: I am the sole caretaker of an old manor filled with hundreds of slimy, noisy, irrational creatures. I clean, I dust, I cook, I wash, but I don't get paid enough. If I can put up with all of that, I can do anything. I am not going back to NoCal empty-handed.
(Cut back to the scene. A few yards behind them is a mustard yellow truck, carrying eight other contestants on its back, all sporting mustard yellow parkas and yellow backpacks to match. Much like the first tribe, some are invigorated to start the adventure, while others are more silent, intently observing their tribemates.)
HOST: Their competitors will be the yellow Hekla tribe, consisting of Daphne, an old-school detective from Crystal Cove, California
(Cut to Daphne in the confessional)
DAPHNE: Me and my best friends run our…um… freelance detective business … I guess. Except it isn't a business per se, we don't get paid for it really. Our van we use has broken down and we're all broke so … I figured I should take one for the team and I applied to this show. If I win, it could really change our lives.
(Cut back to the truck. We see a short pink rabbit, Panini from "Chowder". She eagerly smiles at all her competitors.)
HOST: Panini, a cooking apprentice from Marzipan City
(We see Steven Universe from the eponymous show. He glances over at Panini, who is still smiling. He returns her smile, and the two sweetly wave at each other.)
HOST: Steven, a young boy from Beach City, all the way on the East Coast
(Next is Raven from "Teen Titans". Akin to Grim, she is also silent and unreadable.)
HOST: Raven, a half-demon superhero from Jump City, Florida
(Cut to Raven in the confessional. She impassively stares at the camera)
RAVEN: *robotic* Most people don't think I'm a superhero just because I have a kind of… depressed demeanor about me. But I was stressed at work … saving lives isn't easy you know … and my friends said "we'll take care of it for a month, go have fun in Iceland"… but … I hate fun … so I'm mostly just here for the money … also yellow is not my color.
(Cut back to the truck. We see Dexter from "Dexter's Laboratory". He appears to have a perpetually displeased look on his face.)
HOST: Dexter, a child prodigy from Genius Grove, Illinois
(Next, we see Chloe from "We Bare Bears". She is seen wiping her glasses, which have become foggy due to the cold. Dexter notices her, his eyes widening. She turns to look at him, but he looks away.)
HOST: Chloe, another child prodigy from San Francisco, California
(We then see Jake from "Adventure Time". He notices Dexter bashfully turning away from Chloe, to which he snickers.)
JAKE: (whispering) young love.
HOST: Jake, a shapeshifting dog from the mystical Land of Ooo
(Last, we see Cajun Fox from "Courage the Cowardly Dog". He eyes his competitors, trying to look intimidating.)
HOST: and Cajun Fox, a chef from Lafayette, California
(Cut to Cajun Fox in the confessional.)
CAJUN FOX: (in a thick Louisiana accent) How's it goin? Cajun Fox here. Proud Louisianan, born and raised. Why am I here you ask? Well, I surely got tired of makin' wacky stews just for the hell of it, like any fox would. I need a new beginnin', and it starts with the million big ones I'd win on this show. These fools aren't gonna know what hit 'em once the ragin' Cajun is done with 'em.
(Cut back to the host standing in front of the volcano. It seems close to erupting.)
HOST: They come from different walks of life.
(Cut to Steven in the confessional.)
STEVEN: This show will really test my skills. But … even if I win, I won't be proud of myself unless I do it honestly and with integrity. That's the Steven way!
(Cut to Edward in the confessional.)
EDWARD: I think of myself as demeaning, cutthroat, but also clever and down-to-earth… perfect for this game
(Cut back to the host.)
HOST: But in the end, only ONE will remain to claim the million-dollar prize.
(Cut to Grim in the confessional.)
GRIM: It's game on, man
(Cut back to the host.)
HOST: 39 DAYS! 16 PEOPLE! ONE SURVIVOR!
(The volcano behind him erupts epically, spectacularly sending magma and ash across the landscape.)
DAY 1: BEGINNING
(Cut back to the forest. The trucks seem to have approached a wide muddy clearing. There is a blood red mat and mustard yellow mat on the ground, in front of which patiently stands the host. The red truck drives into the clearing, parking in front of the mats, allowing the castaways to jump off.)
JUNIPER: Hey team! I guess we're here.
MORDECAI: Hell yeah! Let's do this thing!
GRIM: (frustratingly) Finally. The ride to get here was unbearable.
FRANKIE: (to Grim) Not a fan of the wild?
GRIM: Not a fan of most things, really.
EDWARD: Me and you both, man.
(The yellow truck drives into the clearing, allowing the Hekla tribe to spot the host)
PANINI: Over there! I see him! The host!
CAJUN FOX: We all see 'im, little girl, no need to yell.
DAPHNE: Is it just me or did anyone else think he would be … I don't know … taller?
DEXTER: I presumed he would be shorter.
RAVEN: I thought he was dead.
(The tribe turns to face her. There is an awkward silence.)
RAVEN: What? Classic Mandela effect.
(The truck parks in the clearing, next to the red one. The contestants all make their way down and onto their respective mat, eyeing one another, analyzing their competition. All of them look excited, some more so than others. After all the castaways take their place on the mats, both trucks swiftly drive off to whence they came, disappearing into the thick forest)
HOST: Alright. Welcome to the first season of Cartoon Network Survivor.
(Both tribe members cheer and clap, eager to start.)
HOST: You have been divided into two tribes … Hekla, the yellow tribe … and Katla, the red tribe, named after two of Iceland's most ferocious volcanoes.
(The host reaches for two bags on the ground, one red and one yellow. He throws them to their respective tribes. Steven and Juniper easily catch the bags and unfurl them. Inside each bag are eight buffs, with the name and insignia of the respective tribe on it. They are quickly dispersed among the tribe members, who put them on their forehead, their arms, their legs, whichever part of the body the buff may easily sit)
HOST: Familiarize yourselves with your tribemates because they will be the people you live with, eat with, and ... strategize with from here on out. Pink bunny in the middle. What is your name?
PANINI: Panini, at your service!
HOST: Panini? Like the sandwich?
PANINI: Yes … except sandwiches don't win a million dollars, do they?
(The host laughs, along with some of the other contestants.)
HOST: Alright, Panini, what do you think of your new tribemates so far?
PANINI: Oh my God! Love them! We're all gonna be one big family by the time this game is over!
HOST: Any shady characters thus far?
PANINI: Well… it's the beginning of the game. No need to ruffle any feathers. Ask me that again in 3 days. I might have an answer for you, hostie!
(Cut to Panini in the confessional.)
PANINI: I am a cooking apprentice with big dreams. A bit cliché, I know. People underestimate me because of my size and my age. But this girl's got an aggressive side to her. So, I'll just fly under the radar, make people think I'm this dumb wittle catty wabbit, and then BAM! Drop the bombshell! Eliminating the competition left and right! And when this is all said and done, I snag my ticket to culinary school!
(Cut back to the scene.)
HOST: Orange dog standing next to Panini. What's your name?
JAKE: The name's Jake.
HOST: Jake. What is your overall opinion of your tribe?
JAKE: Um … I can confidently say we have a decent tribe, right from the get-go! Lookin' around, I see some tall, strong people. Some brains. Some fiery characters. I wanna say we're the superior tribe of the two. But let's keep the trash-talking for the challenges, shall we?
(The Hekla tribe laughs. Some contestants on the other tribe scoff. Cut to Jake in the confessional.)
JAKE: What up. Jake here. Dad of five, amateur chef, card games enthusiast ... lotta labels. I'm at my twilight years right now, and drinking beer and binge-watching old soap operas was getting kinda old. So, my lady told me about this new show they're doing and I was like "huh, sounds interesting". And here I am!
(Cut back to the clearing.)
HOST: Over on the red tribe, the red-headed girl. What's your name?
SUSAN: Me?
HOST: No, the one without the glasses.
FRANKIE: Me?
HOST: No!
(Both tribes and the host chuckle at this scene.)
HOST: the young women in the front who scoffed at Jake's comment.
GWEN: Hey, I'm Gwen.
HOST: Gwen, you do not agree with Jake, do you?
GWEN: Absolutely not! Honestly, I see myself as part of a very strong tribe! I mean I like to think of myself as strong, a lot of my tribemates appear to be the same. Hell, we are the superior tribe! Period.
(The Katla tribe cheers, while the Hekla tribe shakes their head. Cut to Gwen in the confessional.)
GWEN: Hey I'm Gwen Tennyson. I like to think of myself as being confident. Confidence is key in this game. If you are not sure of every step you take, you might as well snuff your own torch. Jake, the yellow dog, he's got the right idea, but little does he know, I eat dogs for breakfast … not … not literally, it's a metaph– … you know what I mean!
(Cut back to the clearing.)
HOST: Well, I can say for sure that we have picked a strong cast. A little bit of tribalism brewing. Both tribes feel like they're the stronger one. Even though it's day one, how well do your know your tribe-mates based off of first impressions? Let's put that to the test, shall we? In your first ever team challenge!
(The contestants wildly cheer.)
HOST: Here's what's gonna happen. Both tribes will discuss amongst yourselves and will pick who you believe to be the strongest member, the most agile member, and the smartest member of your tribe. Once that's done, I will explain the challenge. Off you go.
(Both tribes swiftly form huddles to discuss.)
FRANKIE: Alright, I guess we should pick the tall blue bird as the strongest, right off the bat.
MORDECAI: I'm cool with that. I went to the gym for two weeks before I came out here.
FRANKIE: Redhead with the glasses, what do you do?
SUSAN: I am an independent scientist
FRANKIE: Then I guess you're the smartest. Anyone here balances well?
JUNIPER: I am pretty nimble if I do say so myself.
FRANKIE: Great! Then you're the most agile. Everyone cool with that?
(The tribe hesitantly nods. Cut to Frankie in the confessional.)
FRANKIE: I had to take the lead. We finished the task in like … 10 seconds. I may have been ... autocratic in my approach, but at least it was much faster than the yellow tribe.
(Cut back to the clearing, where the Hekla tribe are struggling to choose their three representatives.)
CAJUN FOX: I don't mean to brag, but I do believe yours truly is the strongest member by a mile.
JAKE: Nah man, let me do it! I am pretty strong for my size!
(Pause. Cajun Fox looks down at Jake. He hides his giggles.)
CAJUN FOX: I don't mean to offend ya but … I doubt you're stronger than me, what with your … height and all.
JAKE: Just trust me! I'm a shapeshifter!
CAJUN FOX: You ain't allowed to use any superhuman powers during challenges. I remember that in the contract we signed.
JAKE: I am not a human, bro. I'm a dog!
PANINI: (exasperated) Typical male egos in action. While you two uh … figure it out, I volunteer as the most agile member of the tribe if everyone is okay with that.
DAPHNE: Go ahead, girl. Anyone here volunteers as the smartest?
CHLOE AND DEXTER: (simultaneously) I volunteer!
(The two turn to face each other.)
DEXTER: Oh … well … you can do it.
CHLOE: No, go ahead please.
DEXTER: No, no, I insist.
RAVEN: Oh, for the love of God.
HOST: Time's ticking people!
(Chloe and Dexter nod at each other.)
DEXTER: I elect myself as the smartest … for the sake of time.
CAJUN FOX: and I elect myself as the strongest
(Jake looks increasingly frustrated.)
JAKE: Dude, will you just listen for a second?
CAJUN FOX: (annoyed) What now, dog?
JAKE: Just let me do it! Trust me on this!
CAJUN FOX: We ain't losing this first challenge just 'cuz you wanna prove yourself!
JAKE: (angrily) I am confident as heck about my abilities, thank you very much!
(Cut to Steven in the confessional.)
STEVEN: the fox and the yellow dog were really going at it. Things were getting heated and no one was stepping up to stop it … and that's when I had an idea.
(Cut back to the clearing.)
STEVEN: Umm… how about you guys play rock-paper-scissors? Let fate decide.
CAJUN FOX: Aight.
JAKE: Fine by me.
(The tribe breathes a sigh of relief as the two men begin playing rock-paper-scissors. Panini inches closer to Steven.)
PANINI: Thank God you suggested this. It would've gone on for-freaking-ever.
STEVEN: Hehe. Yeah. It's just … what we always do at home whenever we have a disagreement. Saves us a lot of time.
PANINI: It was super smart of you. I'm Panini by the way … but … you already knew that.
(Panini extends her hand. Steven, flustered, accepts the handshake.)
STEVEN: Steven. Nice to meet you.
(Cut back to Steven in the confessional.)
STEVEN: I'm Steven! Steven Universe. I'm …
(Long pause.)
… Well … I'm a 12-year-old boy. I … live in Beach City with my three … "moms"? They're … Gems … aliens or something. I guess that makes me half-alien.
(Steven pulls up his shirt to reveal a glistening faceted pink Quartz gem, lodged in his navel.)
I like video games … and donuts and … saving the world?
(Steven groans.)
Why is introducing oneself so difficult?! I'm not … like, in the midst of an identity crisis! … Am I?!
(Cut back to the clearing. After a few rounds, Cajun Fox puts up scissors, while Jake puts up paper. The fox grins from ear-to-ear. Jake looks defeated but accepts it.)
JAKE: dang it...
HOST: Time's up. Who's taking on this challenge? Katla tribe?
(Mordecai, Juniper, and Susan raise their hands.)
HOST: Mordecai, Juniper, and Susan. What about the Hekla tribe?
CAJUN FOX: the pink rabbit, the boy with the glasses, and myself, sir.
HOST: Panini, Dexter, and Cajun Fox for Hekla. Alright. Well, let's crack on, shall we? Here's how this will work. In the middle of this clearing are two designated zones, one marked yellow for Hekla, and one marked red for Katla. The two strongest members two will dig in these zones, looking for a wooden heavy chest each. Inside each chest are five individual bags. You will then carry the chests across a 200-foot field. Once you reach the red line, the most agile members will then traverse an obstacle course, carrying one bag at a time. Once all five bags have made it through, the two smartest players will use the puzzle pieces inside the five bags to solve a puzzle.
SUSAN: Easy enough … I hope.
(Cut to Susan in the confessional.)
SUSAN: Hello! Greetings! My name is Susan Test. I hail from Porkbelly, Oregon. I run an at-home laboratory with my twin sister, Mary. Sometimes we're in there for days at a time, conducting experiment after experiment. My parents noticed this and encouraged … or rather … forced us to pursue different interests … get our minds off science for a while. So, I applied for Survivor. Iceland is great but … I do already miss the stench of hydrogen peroxide and … the buzzing sound of electricity from all the lab circuitry … and the feel of a silky-smooth lab-coat on my skin...
(Susan zones out for a while.)
SUSAN: Sorry … what were we talking about?
(Cut back to the clearing.)
HOST: The first tribe to solve their puzzle wins reward in the form of ... flint
(Both tribes clap.)
HOST: Nothing is more vital to camp life than fire, especially at the beginning of the game. This will ensure your tribe is warm in the Icelandic wilderness, and, as you all know, it will make chewing your food a lot easier. Worth playing for?
(Both tribes respond with a resounding yes.)
HOST: Then let's get started.
(A few minutes later, all the contestants are in position; Susan and Dexter at the very end, Juniper and Panini near the red line, and Mordecai and Cajun Fox stand behind the designated zone. All their tribemates stand at the beginning, cheering them on.)
HOST: Alright, for reward in the form of flint and a machete. Survivors ready …. GO!
(Cajun Fox and Mordecai run to the mud and begin frantically digging, trying to locate the chest. They seem to employ two different strategies: Cajun Fox begins from the middle, working outwards while Mordecai begins digging in a corner, and in rows. Their tribes cheer them on from the sidelines as they dig.)
HOST: Nice digging from Cajun Fox and Mordecai!
(After a minute or so, both men appear to be smothered in a thick layer of gooey mud. After a few minutes, Cajun Fox spots a yellow wooden plank in the dirt. He digs faster, trying to unearth it.)
HOST: Cajun Fox appears to have found his chest! He's just gotta dig it out now! Mordecai needs to catch up!
MORDECAI: (under his breath) Damn it, where is this chest?
(Within seconds, Mordecai's hand touches a wooden plank as well – a red one. He rushes to get it out by removing the mud around it.)
HOST: Mordecai has found his tribe's chest too! Both men now have to dig it out!
DAPHNE: (screaming) Come on, fox!
(Cajun Fox spots a golden handle on the side of the chest. With difficulty, he pulls a wooden golden yellow chest out of the mud. Mordecai has pulled half of his chest out of the dirt.)
HOST: Cajun Fox has his chest! Hekla tribe are now in the lead! His job is not over yet – he now has to carry this 150lb chest across a muddy field! It's not gonna be easy!
CAJUN FOX: I can do it…
(Cajun Fox struggles to carry the chest. His face turns pink, and one of his forehead veins is throbbing, but he manages to hold it using both handles on its side. He begins traversing the field, albeit rather slowly. The Katla tribe grows impatient; they usher Mordecai on, who almost has his chest unearthed.)
EDWARD: Come on dude!
GWEN: Get it out faster!
MORDECAI: I am! Don't rush me!
(Within seconds, Mordecai digs the chest out. The Katla tribe cheers.)
HOST: Mordecai has his chest! He must catch up to Cajun Fox now!
(Mordecai carries his blood red chest, by carrying it behind his back. He seems to be having an easier time with it than Cajun Fox, but it is still rather difficult. He begins walking across the field, and inches closer to the fox, much to Hekla's dismay.)
RAVEN: He's catching up!
(Cajun Fox glances back. Sure enough, Mordecai is moving twice as fast as he is. Cajun Fox retaliates by walking a bit faster, which is proving to be really difficult for him.)
HOST: Cajun Fox and Mordecai are now neck-and-neck. It is anyone's game at this point!
(Mordecai catches up to Cajun Fox, as both of them cross the 100-foot mark. The Katla tribe shouts for joy as Mordecai takes the lead. Cajun Fox panics and tries to finagle his chest in a different position while walking. However, in the process, he accidentally lets go of the handle and drops the chest on his foot, making him yelp out in pain.)
HOST: (wincing) uff. That's gotta hurt
(Cut to a muddy Cajun Fox in the confessional. He looks rather humiliated.)
CAJUN FOX: Maybe I shoulda let the dog do it…
(Cut back to the scene. Cajun Fox musters the pain and picks up the chest once more, this time by carefully balancing it on top of his head. He struts faster with the chest in this position, though he is limping because he dropped the chest on his foot. Mordecai, on the other hand, has reached the red line. He violently drops the chest on the floor. He pants, exhausted from the trip.)
HOST: Mordecai crosses the red line. Juniper can now open the chest! Cajun Fox is still about a couple feet behind! And is making decent ground even with a hurt toe! That's what Survivor is all about!
JUNIPER: (under her breath) Let's do this…
(Juniper unlocks the chest with a blood red key. Inside are five small bags. She hastily picks up the first one and starts traversing the obstacle course. She must first cross a zigzag balance beam, then crawl under a muddy net, before finally scaling a 10-foot wall.)
HOST: Juniper is now on the obstacle course! She can only take one bag at a time, and there are five bags, meaning she has to traverse the course ten times!
EDWARD: Yeah, we know how math works…
HOST: Here comes Cajun Fox! The Hekla tribe are now in on the action!
(Cajun Fox has crossed the red line, and he drops the chest on the ground. He then collapses on the ground, out of exhaustion.)
PANINI: Thanks buddy! I'll take it from here.
(Panini quickly opens the yellow chest. She pulls out the first bag and starts traversing the balance beam. Cajun Fox is laid out on the ground, sweating and panting. Jake appears above him, blocking out the sun. He has an enormous smirk on his face, much to the fox's dismay.)
JAKE: You okay there, foxie? Still breathing? Is the sun in your eye?
CAJUN FOX: Shut up...
(Cut to Juniper scaling the high wall and dropping the first red bag next to Susan.)
SUSAN: Nice! You go, girl!
(Juniper runs back to the beginning to get her second bag. Panini has traversed the course quickly, as she is now scaling the ten-foot wall, much to her tribemates' delight. She hands Dexter the first yellow bag.)
PANINI: Here you go. Gonna go back for more!
HOST: Juniper and Panini have both delivered a bag! Four more to go!
(Cut to Panini in the confessional.)
PANINI: That obstacle course was fun! I mean … it's no sous-vide steak or baklava but I got a kick out of it!
(Cut back to the challenge. We see a sort of montage of the obstacle course part, with Juniper and Panini delivering the bags, one-by-one; we see the women falling off the balance beam and getting stuck under the muddy net a couple of times. Finally, both are neck-and-neck, delivering the fifth and final bag for their tribe.)
HOST: Both Juniper and Panini have the final bag! It's anybody's game!
(Both tribes cheer for the girls. Juniper and Panini zigzag their way through the balance beam, crawl under the net, and climb the rope to scale the wooden 10-foot wall. They each give their bags to the puzzle-solvers at the same time.)
HOST: Juniper and Panini deliver the final bags! Now it is up to Susan and Dexter to solve the puzzle using the puzzle pieces inside the bags!
SUSAN: Alright. Let's finish this shall we?
DEXTER: Not before I do!
(Both geniuses empty their own five bags on a table in front of them; the pieces are thick and heavy. Susan begins by identifying the corner pieces, while Dexter looks for any common features or colors. Their tribemates can only watch apprehensively.)
HOST: Both scientists are working on the puzzle. It is a 30-piece puzzle. It depicts something relevant to this game. Susan, you a fan of puzzles?
SUSAN: I have done a puzzle or two…
HOST: How about you Dexter?
DEXTER: I despise them … however … I believe I know what the puzzle represents.
SUSAN: I do too.
(Both contestants begin working faster. They seem to get the hang of it. Susan has completed the outer pieces, while Dexter works on the middle moving outward.)
HOST: Both Dexter and Susan are picking up speed. They're using different strategies. The question is: which strategy will be the winning one?
(Suddenly, Dexter appears to be confused. He seems to be debating where the outer pieces should go, as they all look alike. Susan has already completed the edge so she focuses on the middle. She speeds up more, connecting more pieces together. Dexter panics; he connects the pieces based on their individual edges, but it's too late, as Susan slides in the final piece)
SUSAN: I got it!
HOST: Susan thinks she has it!
(The host walks over to inspect the puzzle. Everyone is on the edge of their seats. On the table sits a finished puzzle of the season's logo.)
HOST: She's … GOT IT! KATLA WINS REWARD!
(The Katla tribe are enthusiastic. They all run to hug Susan, celebrating by cheering the tribe's name. The Hekla tribe, on the other hand, is despondent. Dexter buries his face in his hands. Cajun Fox swears under his breath.)
CAJUN FOX: (under his breath) I broke my dang toe for nothin'.
(The scene cuts to a few minutes later. The tribes are back on their starting mats.)
HOST: Katla tribe, great job on the challenge. You have earned your reward. Here is your flint. Good job.
(The host hands Susan the flint. The Hekla tribe looks on, envious. Dexter stares at the ground, humiliated.)
HOST: Well, this adventure would not be complete without a place to call home. You have been assigned your own campsites, which you will reach by following these maps. Put your navigational skills to the test.
(The host tosses two papyrus maps, one to each tribe. Gwen and Daphne catch their respective maps.)
HOST: You have been giving nothing except the clothes on your back. At camp, you will find a bag of rice, a pot, and a machete. You must build your shelter from scratch using whatever materials you find. You will be hungry; you may get tired. No one said it would be easy, but I'm sure you all know what you signed up for. Welcome to Survivor. You may now move to your campsites, Godspeed, and good luck.
DAY 1: KATLA CAMPSITE
(Cut to a hot spring on the edge of the forest. The area is picturesque, surrounded by snow-capped mountains in the distance. Birds are chirping. The Katla tribe is seen coming out of the forest, with Frankie acting as the tribe navigator. Instantly, they are captivated by the scene.)
SUMO: Woah! This area looks dope.
MORDECAI: Oh man. This looks straight out of a travel brochure!
FRANKIE: (looking at her map) Guys … the trail ends here.
MORDECAI: Wait … you're saying-
GWEN: You're saying this hot spring is our campsite?
JUNIPER: It is! Look!
(Juniper points to the banks of the hot spring, where the blood red tribe flag has been planted, along with a pot, a bag of rice, and a machete. Most of the tribe is ecstatic about this. Even Grim is relatively awe-struck by the beauty. Edward, on the other hand, seems unfazed. In fact, he seems annoyed)
EDWARD: You have got to be kidding me.
(Cut to Edward in the confessional.)
EDWARD: Greetings. I'm Edward Platypus. I applied for this show for one main reason: to get away from my summer camp, Camp Kidney. But I have been brought to a lake … on the edge of a forest, where I have to apply survival skills and, worst of all, I am surrounded by … (with disgust) energetic people. It's like a Nordic Camp Kidney…
(He sighs)
EDWARD: But … I keep telling myself … if I could live in Camp Kidney for a whole summer, then 39 days out here should be a walk in the park.
(Cut back to the Katla campsite. The tribe is gathered, discussing the first course of action.)
JUNIPER: Ok, I think we should start building the shelter, getting firewood and water
SUMO: So how about we split up the work?
FRANKIE: Good idea. Juniper and ... Mordecai, is it? We can work on building the structure. The two redhead girls, you could braid some leaves for the roof.
MORDECAI: I … guess that works.
GWEN: Sure, I don't mind.
FRANKIE: Does anyone here know how to use flint and machete? We need to get a fire going.
EDWARD: I can. I was taught how to do it at–
FRANKIE: (interrupting) Cool. How about cooking us some of that rice?
(Edward looks at her, stunned)
EDWARD: I ... guess I could try if–
FRANKIE: Alright. You two.
(She points at Sumo and Grim)
FRANKIE: Bald kid and skeleton boy, you two can go collect wood. Take the machete … y'all may need to chop up some branches.
EDWARD: But I need it to start the fi–
FRANKIE: LETS MOVE GUYS!
(The tribe disperses, leaving Edward looking ungodly annoyed. Cut to Edward in the confessional.)
EDWARD: A walk in a very rude, very annoying park…
(Cut to the forest. Despite it being the middle of the day, the atmosphere is dark and gloomy. Grim uses the machete to swiftly chop off the bottom most branches of trees, while Sumo follows Grim around, collecting the chopped off branches.)
SUMO: So uhhh … Grim, right?
GRIM: Indeed.
SUMO: Are you, like … the actual Grim Reaper?
GRIM: (a bit annoyed) In the flesh … or lack thereof.
SUMO: Cooool. So … you take the dead to the afterlife?
(Grim chops off another low-lying branch with the machete)
GRIM: "Take" is a strong word, more like "accompany", but … I have been relieved of my duties as of late. You see–
SUMO: (ignoring him, excited) Dope! Do you have a scythe? Do you touch people to kill them? Why do you have a Jamaican accent? How come-
GRIM: Don't get ahead of yourself, boy
SUMO: Sorry just … socializing.
(Awkward silence. They continue working. Cut to Sumo in the confessional.)
SUMO: My name's Sumo. I was kinda ... failing elementary school, and my parents were gonna send me to juvenile boot camp to "sort me out", so I applied to Survivor instead. But, hey, while I'm here, I could put my camping experience to good use. You can give me a plate of worms, and I'll gobble 'em down in a minute, so the food situation is not a problem. Making friends with old people could be hard, but I'm not worried at all. And I'm getting paid good cash for it so... can't complain
(Cut back to the forest, where Sumo and Grim are still picking sticks off the ground)
SUMO: Soooo … what do you think of the tribe?
GRIM: Well, you're the first person I've had a decent conversation with ... or any conversation really.
SUMO: Same. We could maybe help each other out?
GRIM: You wish to make an alliance with Death himself?
(Pause.)
SUMO: I mean … when you say it like that, it sounds creepy … but also super-duper cool!
GRIM: Hmm. I suppose we have no choice.
SUMO: Yeah … everyone started forming these, like, cliques right away. The redheads are definitely socializing. And they're already bonding with Mordecai and Juniper
(Grim appears to be in deep thought.)
GRIM: Then we need to get them on our side faster than the redheads do. We could use the platypus' help as well.
SUMO: Oh yeah ... kinda forgot about him.
GRIM: He'll listen, I'm sure.
SUMO: Yeah. If we're at the bottom of the barrel, he's … like, under the barrel … or something.
GRIM: Let's walk back to camp.
(They begin walking back to camp, their arms filled with bundles of wood.)
GRIM: Can I ask a question?
SUMO: Sure man!
GRIM: What is a … Jamaican accent?
(Cut to Grim in the confessional.)
GRIM: Sumo is naïve but ... obsessed with me … he has all the characteristics of a dark, twisted fangirl. However, I need his help more than he needs mine. He can bond easier with the younger people, the ones closer to his age. For some reason, most of them are uneasy around me.
(Awkward silence.)
Well … I am Death personified but … don't a judge a book by its cover!
(Cut to the campsite hours later. It is evening now. Everybody is hard at work. Juniper and Mordecai are assembling the shelter, Gwen and Susan busy themselves with braiding leaves for the thatched roof, and Edward is struggling to make a fire using the flint and machete. He gets a spark every now and then, but the dry leaves do not catch fire, much to his frustration. Frankie is not working on the shelter; she instead orders Mordecai and Juniper around, much to Mordecai's dismay.)
FRANKIE: That stick longs strong and smooth. We could lay down on it comfortably. Connect it to the others.
MORDECAI: (sarcastically, annoyed) Right away, your highness.
FRANKIE: (not noticing) Girls, how's the braiding?
GWEN: I think I'm getting the hang of it!
FRANKIE: Fantastic! Platypus boy–
EDWARD: (annoyed) I have a name y'know?
FRANKIE: (still not noticing) Did you get the fire going?
EDWARD: I've never started a fire with flint before! Maybe if I do it the old-fashioned way like they taught me at camp, I may–
FRANKIE: If it takes you a million years to start a fire with flint, it'll take you a billion to start a fire with whatever you can find in the woods. Just stick to the faster way.
(Edward glares at Frankie, swearing under his breath.)
MORDECAI: Hey Frankie, care to help us build the shelter?
JUNIPER: Yeah! Six hands are better than four.
FRANKIE: Guys, every construction project needs a coordinator. Or else, we'd be running around aimlessly like headless chickens, just quacking, and knocking shit all over the place.
MORDECAI: Umm... headless chickens don't quack.
FRANKIE: … Yeah well … they have no beaks so they don't cluck either.
JUNIPER: Guys … a headless chicken won't quack nor cluck … because it's dead.
(Cut to Mordecai in the confessional.)
MORDECAI: Frankie? Talk about a terrible first impression.
(Cut to Juniper in the confessional.)
JUNIPER: She's … not the best tribemate out here.
(Cut to Edward in the confessional, seething with hatred.)
EDWARD: I … hate … her.
(Cut back to the Katla campsite. Juniper and Mordecai are now assembling the front of the shelter. Frankie is further away, conversing with the girls. Mordecai turns in their direction, making sure she isn't within earshot.)
MORDECAI: OK, what the hell, dude…
JUNIPER: I know … imagine a herd of headless chickens. That'd be terrifying!
MORDECAI: What? No! I'm talking about the Survivor dictator, Frankie. All she's doing is bossing us around.
JUNIPER: Oh! … well … at least this shelter looks pretty good thanks to her. I don't know the first thing about building one
MORDECAI: I guess but if she had helped us build it, we'd have already finished it by now. Maybe we should tell her, y'know, give her a bit of a reality slap.
JUNIPER: Orrr … just let her be bossy.
MORDECAI: Uhhh, why?
JUNIPER: Because the others will notice it, they'll grow annoyed too, and we have an easy vote if we lose.
MORDECAI: That's … actually smart.
JUNIPER: (winking) Thanks. Hand me that branch please.
(Mordecai hands her a long sturdy branch, which she swiftly uses to connect the base and the roof of the shelter.)
MORDECAI: By the way, a herd of headless ducks would be even creepier.
(Cut to Juniper in the confessional.)
JUNIPER: Mordecai is a cool guy, but he's rushing into things a bit. Like … we're hours into the game, we barely know these people. Maybe Frankie isn't the best decision moving forward. I'm not condoning her behavior, don't get me wrong, but patience is key in this game.
(Cut back to the Katla campsite. Sumo and Grim return with an armful of sticks each. Sumo tosses his sticks near the unfinished shelter, while Grim dumps his near Edward, supposedly to use as firewood.)
GRIM: Okay ... I'm sure this is enough wood for the shelter and the fire
FRANKIE: Awesome! Thanks, guys!
SUMO: Anything else we can do?
(Frankie thinks for a second.)
FRANKIE: Actually, there is! The map says there's a water well around here. Take the pot and go get us some water. We'll need it for cooking.
(Sumo grabs the metal pot and proceeds to salute Frankie.)
SUMO: Sir yes sir!
FRANKIE: Uhhh … this isn't the military, kid.
(Sumo excitedly skips away. Frankie turns to Grim)
FRANKIE: Morticia Addams, help boy scout over there start the fire. He really needs the help.
EDWARD: (under his breath) I don't need help. I am perfectly capable of starting my own darn fire.
(Grim bows down to talk to Edward, who ignores him and continues angrily shaving the flint.)
GRIM: Listen man–
EDWARD: What do you want?
GRIM: You're somewhat of a lone wolf at the moment. Just sitting here, twiddling your thumbs, not strategizing with anybody.
EDWARD: It's the first day. No need to rush into things.
GRIM: You saw how the girls were socializing. We need to gather more people than they can, or they'll control the whole camp. Me and Sumo are gonna join up but we need more people.
EDWARD: Ugh … the last thing I need is three redheads telling me what to do. One is already proving to be unbearable.
GRIM: Frankie?
EDWARD: All she does is stand there and boss people around like she owns the place. I'm sure Mordecai and Juniper are sick of her as well.
GRIM: So … maybe we can talk to the two of them. That way, it'll be 5 against 3 and–
EDWARD: AND FRANKIE IS A GONER!
GRIM: (whispering) Lower your voice, kid.
FRANKIE: (shouting to both of them) What's going on over there?
GRIM: Nothing! Just helping him do it right!
(Grim whispers to Edward.)
GRIM: Hand me the flint and machete. Let me try.
EDWARD: Knock yourself out.
(Grim takes the machete and begins striking the flint onto a pile of wood shavings. He has the same luck as Edward, if not worse. Cut to Susan and Gwen, still braiding leaves for the roof's shelter while they talk. Frankie appears to have left them alone.)
GWEN: Hey ... Susan, right?
SUSAN: Yes.
GWEN: You got any more leaves? This one is a pain in the ass to braid.
SUSAN: I do not... although it is bizarre how we found tropical leaves in such a cold, polar climate.
(Gwen forcefully tugs on the braids of the leaves, supposedly to keep them from untangling.)
GWEN: Producers probably imported them and put them in the forest for us to find.
SUSAN: I suppose so. There are no endemic leaves for miles. That was ... awfully kind of them.
GWEN: They dumped us out in the middle of nowhere, Iceland for a month and a week. Giving us decent roofing material is the least they could do.
(In an attempt to keep the braid from untangling, Gwen tugs on it too hard, forcing the prickled end to cut her lightly in the hand. She yelps out in pain.)
SUSAN: Oh my god, are you okay?!
GWEN: I'm fine, dammit! Just a small prick.
(Gwen massages her cut, as blood starts to rush out. Susan stares blankly at her. Cut to Susan in the confessional.)
SUSAN: Gwen has a peculiarity to her, and a bit of a temper. Her unpredictability may be a liability in the future but … she is all I have at the moment. I must be patient. The other tribemates are friendly … most of them anyways. Plenty of opportunities for alliances to blossom. But right now, I need to ensure that Gwen is a solid ally.
(Cut back to the scene. Susan applies pressure with her fingers on Gwen's finger.)
SUSAN: Here ... press on it with your fingers to stop the bleeding. Like what I'm doing now.
(Gwen puts her fingers on the cut. Susan runs down to the hot spring, and collects water using her canteen. She rushes back, and begins pouring water over the wound.)
SUSAN: This will disinfect the cut. It's no iodine but it will do for now.
(Susan tears one of the leaves off of its stem and wraps it neatly around Gwen's hand. Gwen looks on, impressed by her dexterity.)
GWEN: Where the heck did you learn how to use palm leaves as a bandage?
SUSAN: I enrolled in a wilderness survival course before I flew out here. It taught me the basics, nothing fancy.
GWEN: Well ... thanks. Wow. You didn't have to do that.
SUSAN: That's what tribemates are for.
GWEN: Yeah. Right on!
(Gwen and Susan high-five. Cut to Susan in the confessional.)
SUSAN: It's basic social psychology; earn their trust, not through baseless words but through actions, actions that leave them subconsciously indebted to you. I'm not encouraging any viewers to cut the finger of anybody whose trust you wish to earn, but it sure speeds the process up, does it not?
(Cut back to the scene.)
GWEN: What'd you think of the tribe? Any trusty characters? Shady ones?
SUSAN: I'm not one to judge others based on superficial characteristics, but I think Mordecai and Juniper seem friendly and the most trustworthy thus far. Sumo is eccentric. Edward is somewhat of a loner, and Grim is even more so. And Frankie is the impromptu leader of the tribe, I would say
GWEN: Yeah! She is quick with decision-making, divvying up tasks, checking in constantly-
SUSAN: Making her a great ally.
(Susan glances at Gwen, a grin forming across her face.)
GWEN: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
SUSAN: A redheaded alliance?
(Gwen nods her head. Susan returns a small smile.)
SUSAN: Count me in.
(Cut to Gwen in the confessional.)
GWEN: Susan has some character to her. I can already feel other tribe-mates wanting to work with her. She's smart, and she's already well-liked for that puzzle win. So I'll keep her by my side ... just so nobody else gets her.
(Cut to the shores of the hot spring, far from camp. Sumo walks gleefully down to the shore, brown leaves crunching under his feet, the shiny tribe pot in hand, as well as eight blood red canteens hanging around his neck. He arrives at the shore; there is a hollowed out tree nearby, with a wooden sign saying "Tree Mail" written across it. Sumo inspects the hot water as steam rises from the surface)
SUMO: Alright, seems like a good spot. Water isn't too hot
(Sumo submerges the pot into the spring; the water is uncomfortably warm, but Sumo does not seem to be bothered. He removes the now-full metal pot from the hot spring and starts emptying the contents into the canteens, one by one. Surprisingly, it appears to be turquoise blue.)
SUMO: Dang. I've never seen water this blue before...
(After all the canteens have been filled, Sumo dumps them in the pot. He somewhat struggles to carry the heavy pot, but manages to balance it in his arms. As he is about to leave, though, he notices, out of the corner of his eye, a rolled-up piece of paper wrapped in brown string in the hollowed-out tree that is used for Tree Mail. Confused, but curious, he drops the pot on the ground and goes to the hollowed-out tree before carefully pulling it out. It is papyrus-like, and has a slight orange color to it.)
SUMO: What have we got here?
(Sumo unfolds it to find sentences, in a rather sharp Norse-like font. He begins reading it aloud.)
SUMO: "Dear weary traveler, you wish to start your journey, but the noble path is far too stormy. You need not be afraid, for a friend is at your aid. Let the stream be your guide, follow it until it has cried. The tears of the earth covered in thick frost, worry not my friend, you are not lost. The hand of the forest will show you the way, grab nature's gift and call it a day. There is great magic in the treasure you obtain, so be weary no more of any rain."
(Sumo scratches his head, confused as to what this all means. Cut to Sumo in the confessional.)
SUMO: So, the well gave me a … poem? Or some kind of scavenger hunt … like those bad riddles that Pops wrote us to look for eggs on Easter morning. Whatever this leads to, it must have been put there for good reason. Something game-changing should be on the other side of this quest, and I have to go and find it.
(Cut back to the hot spring. Sumo looks sideways to make sure nobody is around before shoving the clue down his pants, picking up the pot full of canteens. and hurriedly making his way back to camp, calm and collected.)
HEKLA TRIBE
Cajun Fox … Lafayette, LA
Chloe Park … San Francisco, CA
Daphne Blake … Crystal Cove, CA
Dexter McPherson … Genuis Grove, IL
Jake the Dog … The Land of Ooo
Panini the Rabbit … Marzipan City
Raven Roth … Jump City, FL
Steven Universe … Beach City, DM
KATLA TRIBE
Edward Platypus … Prickly Pines, WS
Francis "Frankie" Foster … Eureka, CA
Grim Reaper … Endsville, VT
Gwen Tennyson … Bellwood, NJ
Juniper Lee … Orchid Bay City, CA
Mordecai the Blue Jay … Phoenix, AZ
Ryan "Sumo" Sumouski … Aberdale, AZ
Susan Test … Porkbelly, OR