She entered her room and leaned against the door as soon as she shut it, almost as an unconscious portrayal of the wall she wanted to put up between them in this very moment. It was a constant battle for her, seeming to earn his affection only for him to shove her away in the next minute. One step forward, two steps back, so it seemed. She didn't understand how he could lean in toward her and then pull back so fast. What was she doing wrong?

She scanned the contents of her dwelling; it was filled with books, half of which were open and lying in various places, flowering plants, and musical instruments of all kinds. In the center was a white and gold piano, one of her favorites and the thing she rushed to after waiting with her back against the door for the few minutes she needed to decompress the intensity of what she was feeling.

She sat down, determined not to cry but instead to channel her feelings into music, music she would never show him.

"Yesterday he said my eyes
Were fading fast away
I said well what do you expect
You asked me not to stay and if it had all been for the best
I wouldn't feel this way."

She was doing a piss poor job at holding her emotions back, the tears welling in her eyes and her voice sometimes coming out in strained warbles and whispers of held back sobs.

"My love is like a blanket
That gets a little bit too warm sometimes
I wanna wrap somebody in it
Who can hold me in his arms
Cause when it got a little too hot in there
He was always stepping out for air and he froze
Oh he froze"

"Yesterday he looked at me
With a tear in his eye and said
I'll always tell you you're my friend
I hope i don't have to lie"

She paused after that last line, tears now rolling down her face. Little gasps of air left her mouth as she took a few seconds to breath before continuing more loudly than before, putting the rest of her energy into the final chords and words of woe that she had written in the moment.

"He said it's crazy
How love stays with me
You know it hurts me
That I didn't figure it out before
And now it's too late for a soliloquy
It's way too late for dignity
It's time for apologies"

What she didn't see as she faced away from her balcony at her piano, singing her forlorn feelings into her empty room was the one she was singing for, leaning against the wall outside, the balcony entrance flush with his arm and desperately wishing he had the strength to reach in and comfort her. But maybe he was too much of a coward to do what she was wishing he would.

How could he hurt her so much...

Lute had forgotten something when she left in such a hurry. Something was wrong, he knew why, and he hated that he was like this. Lute deserved so much better than him, even if she was created to be his perfect partner with the best traits about himself. But maybe that was a curse for her. Adam loved himself to a fault, who else would, if not him? So... for Lute? It must have been agonizing...

And now he's reaped what he sowed. He stood on that balcony, listening to the piano keys; the chords being hit by tiny felt-tipped hammers resonated in the room, mixing and coating her singing in a beautifully agonizing melody that, when her tears began to fall and her voice shook, Adam couldn't help his own tears that came to the corners of his eyes.

He needed to go in there. He needed to help her. His Lute needed him now more than ever.

Footsteps would make his presence known, but he was silent, his arms already around her. He was holding onto his lute. His... And he had mistreated her for so, so long...

Her eyes went wide as she felt large arms encircle her. The smooth keys were barely touching her fingertips upon her surprise, her hands hovered over them, still curved and poised to create the music pouring from her soul.

She gasped, tears still streaming down her face. Had he heard her?

"Adam?"

Her question was high-pitched and soft in the now quiet room. Her lip trembled as the wave of warmth moved over her back and chest. She was so vulnerable in this moment, this solitary moment where she had let her guard down, believing she was alone and safe.

Her breath hitched in her chest. She loved him. She hated him. She wanted him to love her or leave her alone if he didn't. The rush of emotions was too much, and she let out an almost tortured cry that turned into heaping sobs against him. Why was he even here? She knew that tomorrow he would pretend this never happened. She knew tomorrow she'd just be his Lieutenant and nothing more. So why did he insist on these moments of affection toward her when no one else was watching? Why did he torture her like this?

If only he could say a million apologies at once. She was in agony and of course it would have been the cursed First Man to do this to her. This, no matter how much time passed, would always be his curse to live with. Adam wasn't good with relationships. Adam didn't like to communicate or express his feelings. Not after so many times of his trust being taken and ripped apart.

A rippled breath of self-loathing anger and hurt tumbled from his lips as the woman he held cried in confusion. It was no wonder she left so suddenly; she was holding in so much…

"I'm sorry…" it's the least he could say; it was the least he could do. His arms would remain around her, holding onto her like a precious object. But that was the problem, wasn't it? Even now, after all these years, he still didn't understand how to treat another as an equal.

Lute wasn't an object, she was a living being, and maybe now, with these woe's she flooded in the air that they shared, he would get that. She was a woman with thoughts and feelings, and because of that, Adam tried something new.

"You're right to be upset with me. I know I haven't been... Honest with you. So, tell me. Tell me everything, yell at me, hit me—whatever it is you need. I'm… I'm here for you, Lute."

She was so angry that even his confession of honesty, or lack thereof, didn't mean anything to her. She was so tired of everything; she was so hurt time and time again; she was over it. She shrugged him off and hugged herself instead. This was too little, too late.

"You're HERE for me? Since when? Since when are you here for anyone but yourself?"

She swiveled around the piano bench so that she was facing him. She didn't look at him, though. She didn't know if she could. She would probably lose all her nerve the moment she looked into his golden eyes and his stupid, handsome face.

"Do you know how long I've been here for YOU? And you treat me like nothing. Every day I hear you talk about them: 'Lilith is a whore'... 'Eve is a bitch'. How many millennia has it been? GET OVER IT."

She felt sick. How could she be saying this to the one who created her in the first place? Without him, she wouldn't even exist.

"You're living in the past with them, when I'm here with you, now."

She did everything for him.

"Why am I not enough?"

If hearts were made of glass, the already cracked foundation that made up Adam's own would have shattered in that moment. He truly was... There wasn't a word for it, was there? Unlovable? No. Annoying? Maybe. But what Adam felt in that moment was despair, unlike anything he had felt before. It was like a bad dream—a nightmare. Of course he knew he was pushing Lute and that one day it would boil over, but to know that he had been complaining every day... It didn't even phase him, he didn't believe it but he didn't think Lute was a liar.

No, it must be true. He had his excuses, but none he would say now. He stood there, letting her get out all her frustration like he said he would. His features would contort, twist into such a sorrow filled expression that he just couldn't hide it anymore.

She was right.

A step back. Silence. Nothing came from him until she was done. This was how it all started, he knew it all too well. He pushed them, he was always thinking about himself. Through the years, he thought he got better. No. He would never change, a man seldom did, did they?

So he would make the first moves this time, knowing where this would all end up. "I'm sorry." It was the least he could say, as his features would shift to a lack of emotion. Blank. He didn't deserve to feel anything right now, and that would help push him to his next decisions as his feet would back him up to the very balcony he had entered from.

"Goodbye, Lieutenant. I've got work to do. Thank you... for your help." With golden, outstretched wings, Adam would disappear. He couldn't handle Lute of all people being another ex. Another Eve or Lilith... Maybe Lucifer was never the problem.

Maybe the problem all along was Adam.

Song credit: Apologies by Grace Potter