JMJ

Chapter Seven

Some Dysfunctional Receptions

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

"What is it, Mom?" asked Jenny popping up behind Mrs. Wakeman.

"A UFO," said Wakeman still examining the screen before her. "I was just beginning to track its course. In retrospect it seems to have come from an energy source used in the teleportation technology of Cluster Prime that was located in the Himalayan Mountains in the Gandaki Province of Nepal. It has since crossed the earth at the relative pace of just under Mach 0.85. It's set destination staggered somewhat once it reached Tremorton, but it distinctly hovered just over our house for at least four and half minutes before deploying over half its weight right into our backyard."

With a wry smile, Jenny threw her arms around her back. "And… you didn't tell me about it?"

At last Wakeman lifted her sheepish head.

"You were spending too much time in the kitchen with Melody again, weren't you?" Jenny teased.

"It's not every day we get the ingredients for the authentic recipe of Turkish delight including dates from Djibouti and our own freshly homemade rosewater."

"So… it's in our backyard?" asked Jenny looking to glance out the window.

"Alert! Alert! Alert! Alert!" cried a muffled voice just outside lab.

Jenny turned around with a slouch just before Kenny charged through the door breaking it down as he did. She smacked her forehead.

"There's a thing! A suspicious looking robotic thing with voices coming from it and other sounds!" cried Kenny. "In the backyard! Let's get it! Let's get it! Let's get it!"

"Ugh," moaned Jenny. "Well, the barking's gone."

"But, Jenny!" Kenny insisted. "This is an emergency! Right, Mom?"

Jenny rolled her eyes, and bolted out the ceiling with her own crash to investigate the disturbance. She ignored Wakeman complaining about the crashing again.

Ug, Jenny thought. Can't things ever be normal around here again? Between Kenny and Melody, I feel so crowded-in I could just—

"Jenny!" screamed Tuck's voice down below.

"Huh?" Jenny said realizing how far up she had been zooming. She looked down.

Still in his own yard, Tuck was jumping up and down pointing to a very familiar steaming lump of green and black metal like a robotic cancerous seed ready to erupt with a metallic alloy over and into everything around it. Although she could believe the Cluster in the old days coming up with such a scheme as turning the Earth into a metal planet, Vexus was in exile in a way that had weakened her power beyond recovery, and she could see no sign of Vexus herself.

"It's—" Tuck began.

"Smytus," Jenny muttered crossing her arms as Smytus bolted out of his mound violently.

But not too violently. He flopped up onto the grassy lawn and at once began to brush himself off as though afraid of a little dirt. He looked up now with a growl at Jenny. Yet before he could open his mouth, a cheerful voice spoke that could not be said to have come from his own vocal processors: "Hi, Jenny."

Jenny jumped. "Vega!?"

Vega laughed.

"Vega!" Jenny was brightened in an instant.

She lunged to hug her flying companion in the air.

"It's been so long!" Jenny cried.

"Ages!" agreed Vega.

"And all you can say is 'Hi, Jenny'!" cried Jenny.

"Well, what do you want me to say?" Vega laughed some more. "You haven't changed a bit, Jen!"

Like two little birds they flew round about each other laughing for chirping, swooping like swallows for a moment.

"It feels like you changed a lot! I almost wouldn't have recognized you if I hadn't heard you first," Jenny said.

"Oh, it's just the outer casing," said Vega with a shrug as she surveyed her new regal exterior. "Truth be told, I'm still getting used to it. Queenship isn't what it's cracked up to be."

In one smooth transition, she shifted her outer casing into a slightly new shape that was almost just like the one Jenny remembered; though she was still a little taller and a little more experienced in the eyes.

"How's this?" Vega asked.

"Well, you sure snuck up on me," Jenny teased. "That's more than outer casing."

"Trying out my golden chip's abilities on you," Vega admitted. "It worked. Besides I had to try to cloak myself a little bit to get here without your whole planet's defenses after me when we ended up on the other side of Earth from where I meant to."

"My Mom still knew you'd showed up," said Jenny.

Then she frowned.

"Jenny— Smytus!" whined Tuck.

"So, uh, why's Smytus here?" Jenny asked rubbing her chin.

"Yeah, him…"

As Vega rolled her eyes the luster in her face went dim with them. A cloud that was undeniably different from the Vega Jenny knew overtook her, and Jenny could not help but sense some weight on her old friend heavier than Smytus whom she carried here.

"I'm sorry about that," said Vega. "He snuck onto my teleporter with me trying to escape his sentence on Cluster Prime."

"I thought he was banished," said Jenny.

Plinkplinkplink! Echoed a tiny tinny series of shots from below.

"Hey! You dare slingshot little pebbles at Smytus, you little sack of goo!?" Smytus' voice echoed back.

"He was, so when he showed up again, I put him to work, but…" Vega huffed and kicked an imaginary lug nut in the air where they were still hovering; then returning to Jenny she gave as candid a shrug as she could. "Well! There isn't that great of security on Cluster Prime at the moment for lack of organization, which is kinda why I'm here, actually."

Tuck let out a cry. "JENNY!"

"Hold that thought!" Jenny exclaimed holding up a finger.

"Right!" Vega nodded in full agreement.

Faster than lightning and skillful as a skater Jenny dropped just behind Smytus.

"Put the boy down, Smytus!"

One of the larger and more intimidating blasters in her arsenal, which was at least the size of Smytus himself, was now pointed at his head.

"Oh, come on, XJ-9!" Smytus snapped with Tuck dangling by the foot in Smytus' hand. "How can you possibly have any sympathy for these pathetic squealing—?!"

"Ahem!" Jenny snapped making sure he heard the laser preparing to fire in a musical hum.

Smytus dropped him, which she expected, and swifter than a wing, she flung out a giant mitt to catch the bug-eyed human. Then she gently slid Tuck off onto the ground before tying up Smytus lock and chain. Smytus fell over with a thud and growl.

"Took you long enough," Tuck complained.

"Don't you have school to go to?" asked Jenny with a hand on her hip.

"Duh, it's parent teacher conferences," Tuck said. "And I already passed mine with flying colors."

"Not gunna believe that one," Jenny smiled.

"Well, why aren't you at school?" asked Tuck.

"Because my mom called me over to tell me about this old has-been commander just dropping like a stink bomb into my yard," Jenny sniffed.

Smytus growled the more.

"I guess we have to deal with you, though," Jenny mused as she took a good look at Smytus; he looked like a frazzled bear out of his element. "Any idea where Vexus is lately?"

"Not lately," huffed Smytus, but he started to fidget. "Could I please be put into a more dignified position as your captive if I must be your captive?"

"After what you pulled last time you were on my planet you don't deserve dignity here, rust bucket!" snapped Tuck and he threw a rock at his face.

"Agh! Filthy yolk bag!" snarled Smytus.

"You deserve nothing less than public humiliation!" Tuck declared and was about to throw another rock, but as he lifted one above his head for the strike, Jenny plucked him up off the ground.

Tuck dropped it.

"Come on, there's no reason to make him more upset than he already is," Jenny sighed.

"Well, he should at least be in a cell or something," said Tuck.

Vega nodded in full agreement. "Yeah. 'Tuck', right."

Tuck nodded.

"Does your secret base have something like that, Jenny?" asked Vega.

Jenny could not help the smile. "It's hardly a secret. It's the biggest house on this side of town, but yeah, I'm sure my mom—"

"Gotchya!" snapped Kenny in a lunge right into Vega.

Vega let out a cry, but Kenny was not able to quite take a firm hold before Vega managed to scramble away up into the air again.

"Kenny!" screamed Jenny.

Kenny spun around harrowing confusion rimming his eyes as wide and round as traffic lights.

"That's Vega! She's not a criminal!" snapped Jenny.

Still on hands and knees, Kenny's head dropped.

"Are you okay, Vega?" Jenny asked. "I'm so sorry!"

"No harm done," Vega smiled brushing off her casing a little.

"He's the criminal, Sec him," Tuck was then saying pointing to Smytus.

With another lunge Kenny leapt at Smytus and pinned him down, even though he was hardly able to escape chained up like that.

"Speaking of public humiliation…" grumbled Jenny under her breath and then suddenly hoped Vega had not heard as she landed beside her.

She did not seem to have heard.

"Who's this?" asked Vega.

"Oh, this is Kenny," said Jenny trying to be friendly about it to further hide her annoyance.

"Your names rhyme? Your brother?" asked Vega.

Jenny's face flushed blue. "No, he's—"

Kenny looked embarrassed too as he saw that Smytus was quite safe where he was now. Wringing his hands together and lifting himself into an upright position he said, "Yeah, uh— yeah, I mean 'no.' I'm not really Jenny's brother. I'm actually a forgery made off of Dr. Wakeman's work, but I…" He rubbed the back of his head. "Oh, that wasn't the way to introduce this, uh…"

Vega laughed. Nodding to Jenny she muttered, "He's cute."

"'Cute'!" Jenny's stiff pigtails went up like ears in alarm.

Well, come on, she thought. You thought the same thing before you knew he was made to be a dog… and before you had live in the same house with him.

"I'm Vega," said Vega cheerfully holding out her hand. "I'm Jenny's friend."

"Cool," said Kenny bashfully as he took her hand to shake it.

"Come on," said Jenny grinning. "Let's get Smytus locked up before he terrorizes the neighborhood dogs, right?"

She lifted the prisoner up and took him to the house. Tuck was the first to scurry after her.

#

Smytus glowered. He was sealed in the lab of Dr. Wakeman, a place he never thought he would see the inside of unless he had already cracked it open himself in a fiery, mindless explosion.

"Ugh…" he growled to himself inside a sealed tube that had less room than his high security cell in Ring Bound.

He was not going to believe it was more secure than that prison of Cluster Prime, but it was far less comfortable. The close laser-shield wall around him rang like tinnitus in his head and the heat was a little noxious in this tight space. His little syringe tube was in between a huge toaster-oven looking thing and an even bigger and more grotesque block of a washing-machine looking thing. Neither of which did he suspect of having to do with domestic house chores. Both seemed to be in a state of disrepair or incompletion. He was thrown between them like another appliance.

He knew that Wakeman was not going to perform science experiments on him though ethics had always been beneath Vexus. There was nothing Wakeman would do that Krackus wouldn't, and somehow that made it worse in principle even if he knew he would have liked to have faced such a situation far less.

But at the moment to admit defeat? And such a humiliating defeat? And such a defeat that was partly his own doing for not being aware that there was a reason why the teleporter had been on standby and Smytus not looking at the opposite door to see Queen Vega skipping across the crisp tiles in her royal garb? No. He could not admit that. He would not. He refused.

He told himself that the reason why he was in this situation was because of Vega caught him off-guard by shooting him. Vega was his enemy no matter how he had trouble remembering that and was cursed to ever think of her as Vexus' heir. Though, she had no trouble thinking of him as an enemy.

He sighed.

He would have sat down if he could have and thrown one leg over the other with his head leaning back against the wall, but that was not an option with the space provided. He was like an action figure in a display tube. Sure, he was a robot and a very sturdy one at that, and he could stand for much longer than any mineral-bone-centered creature with flabby glue patches for muscles, but that did not mean he would be easy standing here without further discomfort as long as he was conscious. At least his wound was safe here. This sterile cell would kill an insect in milliseconds if it dared the barrier. No rust, no film, no further damage was feasible.

He had lowered his audio sensors because of the ringing, but he pulled the volume back up when he saw that the young queen and XJ-9's rabble had come back to this laboratory to discuss what they were going to do. The one thing he did observe right away, though he could not always get a good glimpse at them through the maze of flee market junk disguised as high tech machinery, was that the teleporter was not with them. Neither was Wakeman who had the teleporter, but another human was accompanying them. He recognized that spiky reddish-orange fuzz on top of his head; though he did not know the pink sausage's name.

It did not surprise Smytus that he was doing most of the talking. His cocky chirp was grating. In. "Yeah, the college library's bound to have all that stuff," he said. "The Declaration of Independence, the book The Federalist Papers, and maybe even some Magna Carta stuff. It should be exactly what'll help you, Vega."

Vega nodded as she studied him like she was trying to figure out something beyond what he was saying like how that fuzz on his head stayed in that spiked position without adhesive.

"Will I understand it even with the context, though?" asked Vega. "I mean it can't have been written with anyone but the people of Earth in mind."

"Sure, you're really smart, Vega!" XJ-9 insisted putting her hands on her shoulders for encouragement.

Smytus rolled his eyes. Look how she butters her up! No wonder Vega thinks of XJ-9 as someone she can trust.

After all, who could she trust to help her these days? One could not help but pity the foolish young queen. It was not as if Vexus had been the most supportive of mothers. Vega had not had any supportive influence at all to Smytus' knowledge. Not that he had ever thought of this before. It had never been his duty to raise the girl.

"And if there's a-a-anything at all that you don't understand, Jenny and the Bradster are going to that college," said the human.

"To the library we go then!" said Jenny.

"What?" complained the smaller louder human. "We have an interstellar war criminal in our midst and a new queen from another planet and we're gunna have a study group and do homework at the library?"

"Aww, c'mon, Tuck," said Jenny. "Not everything can be solved by an adventure."

"Brad?"

Oh, yeah, "Brad". That was his name. The latest model was Tuck.

Brad shrugged. "Well, we wanna help Vega, right?"

Tuck huffed.

"Unless you wanna stay here and guard Smytus," said Brad.

Tuck glanced behind his shoulder. Smytus sneered back knowing it was not fear why Tuck blinked wide-eyed back as much as Smytus wished it was. Looking back at the others again, Tuck crossed his arms.

"What? Guard duty beneath you?" teased Brad.

"I didn't say that," said Tuck with a sniff, "but—"

"Oh, I'd like to go to the library with you guys," said YK-9 bounding up with abrupt excitement.

Vega smiled, but XJ-9 did not look thrilled.

"Uh! Kenny!" she then grinned jumping in front of him.

"Yeah?" asked Kenny.

"We were just talking about— uh, well, Smytus, you know," said XJ-9 pointing at the prisoner.

"I'm so popular these days," Smytus could not help but mutter, but no one bothered responding.

"And we were thinking that you would be the perfect one to guard him," the little Earth heroine lied.

Vega made a face.

Not so saintly now that she is on her own turf, is she, little Queen Vega? thought Smytus haughtily.

He let Vega continue to watch her supposed friend ditch the one she felt beneath her. She preferred her slug-pets to her own kind. In the end that had to include Vega and she had to see that. It certainly included Smytus; though, that was a given. Smytus just had to include himself in there somewhere, but even YK-9 did not look at first convinced of his 'sister's' sincerity.

"Why him?" demanded Tuck.

"Because!" gasped XJ-9. "He needs someone who has bona fide experience with guarding, and I know no one I can think of better suited for guarding than someone who's experienced with canine 4H training."

"Aww, c'mon, Jenny," said YK-9. "I thought we were gunna lay off the canine talk since Mom managed to reprogram that part of me."

"I'm sure she didn't mean it in a bad way," said Vega, trying so hard to defend the defenseless cause.

"Exactly!" cried Jenny. "I mean it in the best way!"

The brothers looked at each other and shrugged.

"Just remember to chew him up if he escapes," Tuck said.

"I thought you didn't want to go to the library," said Brad.

"Meh, I might as well pick up a movie," said Tuck, "and anything's better than—"

Jenny slapped her hand over his mouth.

"Ah, Tuck and his potty mouth."

Tuck glowered.

"Well!" said Jenny. "I'll take Tuck. You take Brad, Vega. Race you there!"

And out Jenny bolted. Vega and Brad weren't too far behind.

"Jenny!" called Vega.

Smytus shook his head with a patronizing sigh. Then he turned to the growly pouty face of his warden.

"Oh, poor YK-9. Did you get left behind? It's obvious that you're not too liked around here."

"I'm not going to be turned to the dark side of the robotic mindset just because a bad guy in a beam says mean things to me, you know," said YK-2. "And I'm not gunna let my guard down either."

Smytus shrugged innocently. "Well, it was worth a try?"