Johnny And The Gwar Concert
By Shadowgate
…...
Johnny Test was pissed. The new South Park episode sucked. His sisters locked up the lab,. He had 150 bucks and wanted to buy a ticket to the Gwar concert but his dad was telling him he couldn't.
It was his money.
The reasons his dad gave.
He was not a GWAR fan.
He was scared of Gwar.
He thought Johnny was too young.
Johnny stomped around the house. He said "dad it's my money I should be able to go."
When his mom got home she noticed Johnny had a mean look on his face.
She asked why and he explained everything.
His mom said "oh my you know your father once served on the PMRC?"
The twins walked in and screamed and Johnny said "oh man it can't be that ancient tyrant group."
Hugh Test said "I Hugh Test was in fact a member of that group."
Johnny said "I don't even want dinner."
Hugh said "I'm serving pizza and not meatloaf."
The twins asked "why can't Johnny go? It will be his first concert."
Johnny said "whoa double support."
Hugh said "at a recent concert a kid named Stuart was beaten up by Gwar."
Johnny said "we don't know that Gwar did that it could have been two thugs known as Beavis and Butthead that had been out to get him."
Hugh said "they attract skinheads, thugs, and maybe even my high school math teacher."
Johnny asked "you had a math teacher that would hang out with skinheads and thug?"
Hugh said "that's not the point the point is it would be too dangerous for you to go Johnny."
Dookie jumped in and said "I won't go because Gor Gor would eat me."
Susan said "I wish Gor Gor would eat Bling Bling Boy."
Susan, Johnny, and Mary all giggled.
Then Johnny turned to his dad and said "I'll fight this to the end dad."
Hugh said "you're not going."
Johnny went upstairs and played the song "Sick of You."
Johnny got in touch with government officials through his online connection.
Johnny said "I can have the big agents deliver me to that concert."
Johnny found no luck from any government agents whatsoever. On the evening of the concert he went to his dad and said "I have studied believe it or not."
Hugh replied "that's always impossible to believe."
Hugh started laughing and Johnny said "the subject I studied was PMRC history."
Hugh said "well the PMRC is pretty much history, we don't have meetings anymore."
Johnny said "yes well that's not the point. The point is I know history and Tipper said she only wanted stickers on albums for consumer knowledge and had no intention of even trying to ban the most violent or lewd of songs."
Hugh said "parents are consumers and she wanted to warn them with the knowledge about certain music so they could take it away from their kids."
Johnny said "oh the slippery slope. She says put the stickers on for knowledge and the parents themselves will do the actual banning."
Hugh said "well yes you can make that argument. I guess you've learned some new things after all Johnny."
Johnny said "those stickers open doors. Music stores made their own policies to not sell them to kids. Band lyrics are tracked and then they tried to pass laws saying kids can't by concert tickets to see certain bands because of their lyric history. Don't you see dad there's that slippery slope?"
Hugh answered "yes" and went on to say he was impressed with what Johnny had learned. He also pointed out that although people in some states tried to get concert ticket sales restricted by law they failed to do so.
Johnny went on to say "there was once a state lawmaker in Louisiana who wanted to pass a law that would have had kids arrested for having a CD or tape with a sticker on it. The law didn't get passed"
Hugh said "I remember that and that was 20 years ago. Don't worry about that now Johnny."
Johnny said "you're right I'm living in the now and now is the evening of the Gwar concert."
Hugh said "you can play outside or be with your sisters in the lab. But you're not going to the Gwar Concert."
Johnny replied "I don't want to play outside or be with my sisters in the lab I want to go to the Gwar Concert."
Hugh said "you can play in your room."
Johnny groaned and Hugh said "you can be grounded in your room. How about that?"
Johnny said "well that might satisfy you most considering you were a member of one of America's most popular fascist groups."
Hugh said "you're pushing for it I'll tell you that."
Loud sirens are suddenly heard and Gor Gor screamed!
Hugh yelled "what the fuck was that?"
Mary yelled "oh that was Gor Gor!"
Hugh had a look on his face none of the kids could believe so they laughed.
Oderous yelled "all people who bought Gwar tickets have been tracked and we'll bring them to the concert to make sure no can stop them!"
Susan said "dad you've lost this one for sure."
THE END