"We should get the whole day off for the match, this isn't fair! How am I supposed to be on top of my game if I have to sit through Potions for two hours first?"
Lily could hear James whinging through the clamour of voices in the potions classroom as they took their seats. She took her usual spot next to Severus, despite his uncomfortable stance, and was determined to behave as though nothing had changed. It was raining heavily outside and the chill was biting in the dungeon corridor. Lily had been hoping for a lesson of brewing just so she could warm her hands on the small fire, but there were no cauldrons out that day. Instead, Professor Slughorn was sitting at the teachers' desk with a large tank full of foliage almost entirely obscuring him from view.
"Glad it's not Slytherin playing today," Severus remarked, unusually conversational. Lily felt a small smile tug at her lips and she was happy to take the offer from him.
"It'll be decent to see Potter get drenched, but I do feel bad for Marlene. It's her first match too. She's been stressing all week."
Marlene was a few desks ahead of them and to their left, sat next to Mary with her chin on her hands looking gloomily out of the small window at the very top of the low-ceilinged room, watching the fat rivulets of rain trickle down the pane.
If Severus had any more banal chatter in him, it was interrupted by Professor Slughorn calling their attention and introducing their project for the lesson; slime harvesting.
"Why, with potions, is it always something that sounds gross?" She whispered to him from behind her textbook and felt him snort in acknowledgement.
Slughorn lowered the light with a wave of his wand and presented his misty tank to the second years.
"Helix aspera!" he announced, uselessly. "Or rather, the common garden snail!"
She heard a few muffled groans from students who presumably were expecting something more unusual or horrifying.
"Incredibly useful in potion making, for medicine and for much more vain applications. Used in many over-the-counter grade blemish removers and scar reducers. Today we will be collecting, purifying and bottling slime. Please help yourselves to mesh and misting bottles - work in your usual pairs."
With a wave of his wand, the stack of flat mesh squares levitated around the classroom between the rows of desks, allowing the students to take one off the top of the pile. Lily picked one up for the both of them and set it next to the small uncorked bottle and square of cheesecloth that Slughorn had conjured for them.
"I assume you've all mastered the levitation charm at this stage," Slughorn said, performing the same charm on his heavy tank and bringing it along-side him effortlessly. "If you could raise that mesh a few inches I will bring you your snails. Please follow the directions on the board carefully and we'll see if you manage to harvest anything pure enough for potion use."
Three small, apparently curious snails made their way around the mesh leaving glistening trails of slime behind them. Lily crossed her arms on the desk in front of her so that she could rest her head and Severus copied her. The two of them watched their snails in silence for a few moments, allowing the comforting chatter of their classmates in the dim dungeon to surround them, punctuated by the tapping of Slughorn's chalk on the blackboard. The end of Lily's nose was numb and she couldn't help but sniff periodically, despite Severus' obvious annoyance.
"Must you?" He muttered tersely, kicking her lightly under the desk.
"Yeah," Lily sniffed again, making sure to sound as disgusting as possible. "Unless you want to watch my snot drip onto the desk."
"You're disgusting." She could hear the fondness in his voice. "No wonder you're not in Slytherin. Wouldn't catch the Slytherin girls doing that."
"Oh yeah?" She plucked one of the snails from the edge of the mesh and turned it around to prevent it from falling off the edge. "Why don't you sit next to one of them, then? Do you even know their names yet?"
Another kick under the table.
"Shut up!" And then he sat up ramrod straight. Lily jumped in alarm.
"Are you alright?"
He was fiddling in the pocket of his robes and Lily watched his hand as he carefully pulled his wand free. He leaned closer to her, his dark hair was getting so long it was starting to curl up around his ears. "Got something cool to show you." He whispered.
He flicked his wand under the desk. "Muffliato."
Nothing happened.
"Cool." Said Lily dryly, looking around for what Severus had tried to change. She earned herself another kick.
"That's the first time I've tried it in such a big room," Severus admitted, still whispering. "We should test it."
"Test what exactly?" Severus ignored her. Instead, he cleared his throat and spoke quite clearly.
"Lily Evans fancies Remus Lup-."
Before he'd managed to finish the sentence, Lily had clapped her hand over his mouth, which did earn an interested stare from the Slytherin girl sitting at the desk to her left. Aside from her, nobody seemed interested in this hot slice of gossip that Severus had offered up for them. She could feel Severus' wicked grin under her palm.
"Sev, what the hell?"
"Look! It worked!" He pushed her hand away so he could talk freely, his dark eyes roaming around the room with a bright excitement. "I've only tried it on Lennox before, but he's so ignorant, it's hard to tell if he's just ignoring me."
He was speaking at his normal volume and Lily watched the back of Lennox's orange head, waiting for him to whip around in anger, but he seemed completely deaf to Severus' comments.
"Have you silenced us or something? Where did you learn that?"
"Kind of," he smirked at her, clearly pleased with himself. That smile took her back to the hundreds of sunny afternoons in Cokeworth where he would revel in telling her little snippets of information about the wizarding world. She thought he and Remus were similar in that way - they both liked to be asked questions - though she would never be foolish enough to tell either of them that observation.
Severus pulled from his bag the thin book he had shown her before. It was the spellbook he'd been carrying since last year. He put it on the desk between them, shielded conveniently by their snails busily filling the mesh with their silvery trails, and flicked through it before settling on the page he had been looking for. Lily eyes the page edges. They looked softer, and darker. No doubt Severus had spent many long hours flicking back and forth through it.
Their heads touched - orange and black - as she leaned in to see where he was pointing.
"I saw this section on illusions, right? Obviously he's going over the normal stuff, glamour charms and whatever."
Lily nodded as though she had any idea what a glamour charm was and made a mental note to look it up when she was free.
"Well they've gone and written a load of theory for visual illusion charms and it's a bit complicated, but it doesn't need to be for simple illusions, right? Say you want a spell to make yourself invisible - that's so hard, I don't even know where you'd start, but if you want to make it look like a fly just flew around in the corner of someone's eye - easy!"
Lily raised an eyebrow. "Is it?" The neat writing was packed so tightly in the lines of the page that it was hard to read. Then, to further complicate it, it was littered with arrows and sideways additions in the margins. Lily was no fool - in fact, she fancied herself as quite good at magic and a generally adept student. This was something else, however. Reading it was like trying to follow a stranger's train of thought without knowing where it had started. Severus, apparently, had no trouble jumping aboard mid-journey.
"So if it's easy to make an illusion of something people are kind of used to waving away, then I was wondering about things people are expecting to hear - or things that are accepted or unnoticed. Like hearing your name called, or ringing in your ears."
As interesting as it was, Lily was over the preamble. What was much more interesting to her than the theory, was the notion that Severus has made up a spell.
"Have you made people imagine a sound?"
Severus grinned proudly at her. She hadn't seen that expression as much since they had started school. She had imagined that, once they were in the world that he was always excitedly talking about, that he would spend most days beaming proudly as he offered his world up to her, but it seemed he was souring over time. But there was a rare glimpse into her friend from the lanes, shining through the Slytherin second year.
"It's meant to be a sort of buzzing sound, or a ringing. It works best in busy places, I think, where there's some background noise. But I still need to tweak it."
As much as she found herself drifting further away from him than she had expected since she had started Hogwarts, she could never deny that Severus was brilliant. Whatever the Gryffindor boys wanted to say about him. However uncool he seemed, awkward he looked or rudely he behaved, he was a genius.
"So, are you going to start your own book?" She asked, elbowing him playfully. "You can give Mr T. M. R. a run for his money - that's two spells you've done now."
Severus shrugged and returned his wand to his pocket, but he couldn't keep the pleased smile from tugging at his lips. She knew compliments were rare in that dingy little house down the hill. He could have all the recognition he deserved here.
"Haven't got a proper notebook," he reminded her. "I'm hardly going to keep all the loose parchment."
"Can't you bind it together or something?"
"Suppose so."
They lapsed into another, much friendlier silence, watching Professor Slughorn get to his feet and wander between the desks, advising a few pairs of students on how to collect the slime from their mesh grids.
"You'll write it somewhere though, yeah?"
"Dunno why you're so obsessed with me writing it down." Severus muttered into his folded arms.
"Well, you never know, you might be someone's T. M. R. one day, right? Like, it'd be so cool if thirty years from now, someone picked up your workbook and learned magic from you. Slughorn would be handing out books that you'd written-"
Severus snorted derisively and cut her off. "Yeah right, like that pompous oaf would ever hand out anything I made."
Lily turned to face him, elbow on the desk, cheek in her palm. He didn't turn to meet her, but she knew he was watching her out of the corner of his eye.
"Why would you say that? Slughorn loves a swot like you."
"Nah, he doesn't." Then, as an afterthought; "and I'm not a swot."
"Right. And I fancy Remus Lupin. Anyway, yeah he does. You know he's always going on about Potter's dad being good at potions and all that. Plus, he gave you the book. He loves us."
When he finally graced her with a response, it was in that sneering, derisive tone he had often used with Petunia that set her teeth on edge. The venomous part of him.
"No, he likes you. He likes you because you're pretty and unexpected and you'll look good for him. And he likes Potter's stupid father because he's rich and influential. He just gave it to me because he thinks I'll get us house points or something. You're such a baby sometimes, Lily."
There was no point arguing with him, she knew that. She might've been tempted, just for the sport of it, if they hadn't been in the classroom, but as they were, it wasn't worth it. While it was true that plenty of students looked down on Severus, sometimes she felt that he almost liked it, in a strange, twisted way. Like he enjoyed the bitter taste of being disliked - like it gave him a reason to be sour in return. Sometimes, it was best to just let him believe it.
Pockets weighed down with their little glass bottles of slime, they filed out of potions in various states of excitement. James Potter was a few paces in front of her, practically bouncing off the walls with poorly contained enthusiasm. Marlene and Mary fell into step next to her once Severus left with the Slytherins without so much as a goodbye.
"What's the matter with him now?" Mary said, not unkindly. Lily sighed. It wasn't worth getting into.
"He's just in a mood - don't mind him. You ready for the match, Marl?"
"Yeah, we're gonna crush them," she assured Lily - her face was quite green.
"You'll be fine," Mary put a comforting arm around Marlene's shoulders, forcing her down a few inches. "And if you aren't, well it's only quidditch."
Lily snorted. "Christ, don't let Potter hear you say that, he might have a stroke."
They hurried up to the tower, dropping their bags and books and changing out of their uniform before lunch so they could go straight to the game. Marlene pulled her quidditch gear on as though it were a funeral shroud. Lily couldn't relate to her misery - she'd never been shy of people, but it wasn't hard to imagine why playing for the first time in the fish-bowl-like quidditch pitch in front of most of the school would be nerve wracking.
By the time she was lacing her boots up, her fingers were shaking.
"Marl, you'll actually be fine, y'know? Like, it's just a game." Dorcas was attempting to pin her wild hair back in a huge clip with minimal success. "Plus, Potter will be showing off so much, no one will even be looking at you."
Unsurprisingly, Dorcas had done nothing to comfort Marlene and she sat herself on the closed lid of her school trunk and rubbed her face with her palms, as though trying to scrub off her anxiety.
"Wish I hadn't even tried out," she confessed. "Sirius would have got on - him and Potter would have been a decent pair."
Lily's first instinct was to object to the self-deprecation, but Mary had a much more delicate hand. She climbed up onto the bed behind Marlene and raked her dark hair off her face with her fingers before pulling it into a short, neat plait for her.
"Don't be silly. Potter could do with being humbled by you, too. It's going to be like everything. If you can do it the once, you'll be sound by end of term."
Marlene's cheeks were red. Lily wasn't sure if it was from her receding panic, or Mary's kindness, but she relented awkwardly to the hug Mary offered, her arms pinned down by her sides. No longer able to hide behind her dark hair, she looked pointedly at the ceiling, avoiding Lily's eyes. Suddenly feeling like she was intruding on something, but uncertain where the impression had come from, Lily rammed her feet into her trainers and busied herself looking for her scarf.
Lunch was buzzing. Despite the Slytherin vs Hufflepuff game being a fortnight away, the whole school was eager to get back into the swing of the quidditch season. Lily had only bothered herself with a couple of games last year - the first just to see what all the talk was about, and the second to keep Marlene company. She supposed now that her friend was on the team, she would be spending much more afternoons cheering in the stands. James Potter was also decked out in his gear, Sirius sitting beside him in his quidditch jumper, looking a little awkward. He kept turning, craning his neck to look over at the Slytherin table. She followed his gaze, expecting to see Severus, but instead she was that vaguely familiar head of shiny dark curls. Regulus was talking to another dark haired Slytherin boy who sat across from him and appeared a few years older. He could not be less interested in Sirius.
Severus was near enough. She caught sight of him a few seats down, talking to one of his classmates. She could have sworn it was the boy who Marlene said was 'obsessed with her,' Lestrange, who had had plenty to say to her at Halloween.
Severus was laughing, she recognised the mirth shining on his face - not some polite imitation of amusement to appease others - actual humour. She wrenched her eyes away from them and sat heavily next to Dorcas, making herself a sandwich quite aggressively for something to do with her furious hands.
"You alright?"
Dorcas was carefully peeling an orange, watching her.
"Yeah, he can speak to whoever he wants."
"What?"
Dorcas' freckled face was blank and Lily cringed miserably. "Nothing. Yeah I'm fine."
"Your eyes are watering."
She brought her fist up to her face and scrubbed at her eyes as though they had betrayed her. Now that Dorcas brought it up, she did have a headache.
Probably the effect of having to look at Lestrange.
"Just allergies or something." She muttered, going back to her sandwich. Dorcas smirked.
"Yeah, I'm allergic to Snape laughing too, mate."
She kicked her under the table in reply, sniffed at Dorcas' laughter and picked at her sandwich. She really wasn't in the mood for the noise of the match, but sat by Marlene who was rubbing her thumb back and forth across her lips nervously while she stared a hole into the table, she couldn't complain.
She glanced over to Remus who was a few seats up and across from her. He looked tired. That wasn't an unusual sight. She didn't ask him in any great detail what he got up to on the full moon, but she was quite sure that it wasn't a relaxing experience. What was strange was that it was nearly a week from the last full moon but his face said otherwise. He was watching James chattering to one of the other chasers with glassy eyes and his face was pale and blotchy. He must have felt her looking at him and they locked eyes. She offered him a sleepy smile and he returned it, inclining his head towards James. She didn't have to be a mind reader to be able to tell that the noise of the Gryffindor team was giving him a sore head.
Eventually, Marlene was swept up in the team as they made their way down to the pitch ahead of the rest of the school. The girls waved her one last goodbye before Suleiman's arm was around her shoulders and she was out of sight.
Lily ended up sat between Mary and Remus up in the stands. The seats were high enough that the wind was strong enough to sting their faces and she tucked her hands between her thighs to try and save any hint of warmth in her fingers. The rain had eased somewhat, but it hadn't stopped. Sharp drizzle speckled her forehead and cheeks and she screwed up her face against it.
"I know I said it didn't matter, but Marl better play well because I'm bloody freezing," Mary griped, huddling close against Lily's side to steal some warmth. "Surely there's some magic that can keep us warm and dry? What's the point of this even being a magic school?"
Lily wondered about her temperature control charm that she had long mastered and made a mental note to ask Severus about applying it to clothing.
They were better poised to see the Ravenclaw team enter from the far entrance. Their changing room was hidden under the raised stands at the opposite side of the pitch. Lily barely knew most of the team. Only Stephanie and Grace were in their year, playing chaser and seeker respectively. Grace looked as though the wind might carry her off. The Ravenclaw beaters were both seventh years and it showed. Tall and sturdy, they towered over their second year teammates, grins as broad as their chests as they beamed excitedly up at the crowd, unbothered by the rain. Jude Sutton, their captain, stood by Madame Hooch, beckoning George Bletchley over to join him.
They were two opposites. George was pale faced with red cheeks and white blonde hair while Jude was dark skinned and bouncy, reaching out to take George's hand with a friendly clap on the back. The balls were brought out, the snitch released and, as the whistle was blown, the two teams shot off into the air at the release of the quaffle.
As unenjoyable as it was to sit in the cold, she would be a liar if she claimed not to be invested in the game. Even if it was just to see Marlene play. Her and Mary had their arms linked and whenever a bludger strayed too close to their dormmate, Lily felt Mary give her a nervous squeeze.
It would be unfair of her not to admit that James Potter was quite good. While Lily was certainly no expert, it was clear that he had much more confidence (some may say arrogance) than Marlene and an advantage of his bravery (Lily rather thought it was stupidity) meant he was more willing to make risky moves to keep possession of the ball. Remus' pained groans accompanied many of his apparently death defying stunts. Lily wouldn't have turned down the entertainment factor that would have come with Potter being thrown from his broom by a well-placed bludger, but unfortunately, he was just agile enough to avoid any major casualties.
Gideon Prewett circled the pitch like a soggy ginger hawk watching for the snitch. Ordinarily, Lily wouldn't have had a clue who was who, but during the game, Fabian's beater's bat was a huge help. It seemed they were quite evenly matched. It was only when the score was at 70/50 to Ravenclaw that Remus excitedly pointed out Fabian's dart-like dive to the Slytherin stands. He shot across the pitch like an eagle in free-fall and turned enough of the Ravenclaw team's heads that Marlene and Suleiman were able to sneak a goal past the distracted keeper. Lily's teeth were chattering and she stamped her numb feet half with excitement and half to check that they were still alive and attached to her legs.
Grace was smaller than Fabian and much more agile, but the wind, combined with the speed Fabian was able to achieve thanks to his weight, had her at a disadvantage. Of course, Lily would rather Gryffindor win, but a part of her also felt sorry for Grace as she began to lag behind in the two-man-race for the snitch. It was her first game ever and the loss would likely affect her as badly as a dropped quaffle would Marlene. Never-the-less, she roared with delight along with the rest of the delighted Gryffindors as Fabian's fist closed around the little golden ball and Hooch's whistle blew.
She, Peter, Dorcas, Remus and Mary became a tangled mess of limbs, cold hands, excited screaming and damp red scarves as the two teams descended onto the muddy pitch behind them. It was in the sea of excited chanting and whooping that Lily felt an arm shoot out in front of her and stop her in her tracks.
They were in the short tunnel that led past the Gryffindor and Slytherin changing rooms under the stands, on their way out of the pitch to the castle. In the few seconds it took her to realise what had happened, the other Gryffindor second years were swallowed up in the crowd and she left little other option than to look up and see who had stopped her.
It was dark in the corridor, frequently interrupted shafts of light casting unusual shadows across the crowd. A strip of Autumn light fell across the face above her. He was taller than her, considerably so. He had a serious brow and dark hair and something familiar about his hard stare.
"Er, can I help you?" She angled her face at him, but truly she was looking hurriedly at the passing faces, trying to catch the eye of someone she recognised who might shed some light on whatever was happening. She was certain she had never done anything to offend this older boy, but the way his body prevented her from moving told her all she needed to know about the dynamic of the conversation.
"Evans, am I correct?" She nodded. He had a low voice and it was hard to hear over the hundreds of footsteps on wooden boards.
He leaned in closer at the confirmation. There were only inches between their bodies and their height difference forced her to look at his neck, rather than meet her eyes. She pressed herself as firmly as she could into the wall behind her to try and maintain some buffer. The older boy inclined his head, putting his mouth close to her ear and ensuring that she didn't miss a word he had to say.
"Thought so, you look like a stringy little muggle. Listen carefully. I know you're ignorant and thoughtless - most of your lot are - but I'll make it clear for you. Mind your own and keep your distance from McKinnon. You'd do well not to rub shoulders with her - wouldn't want to dirty her up."
She kept staring resolutely at his neck as he spoke, watching the vile words rise up his throat to meet her ears. She knew where she recognised that look from now. The same intense stare as Severus' friend. Suppose this was the elder brother.
"Things are shifting, and it won't be long before your little dorm mate will have to have her head screwed on and choose what's right. Sure you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself if your foolishness wound up getting her killed."
The crowd was thinning and a few people turned their heads curiously to see what the two of them were doing, but no one stopped. She was certain she could see the pale face of Sirius' younger brother peeking over at them as a group of first years walked by. Rodolphus let the silence hang between them for a moment before crouching down to look into her face proper, as though he were addressing a misbehaving child.
"Think you can bear the weight of that, little muggle? When the Dark Lord rids the pureblood lines of traitors and cowards, think you can bear knowing that it was your selfishness that killed her?" His lips quirked into a small, humourless smile and Lily gritted her teeth and balled her fists inside her coat pockets, willing herself not to crack under his eyes.
"While you're thinking on that, maybe you can pass the same message on to Lupin and Pettigrew. Would save me having to talk to more mongrels."
He stepped back and joined the tail of the leaving crowd like a stray raindrop following a rivulet and was gone from view, leaving her alone in the cold wooden tunnel with her shaking fists and churning stomach.
Lily maintained her distance from the other Gryffindors all the way back up to the Tower. For one thing, she did not want to pass the Slytherin fourth years again, but aside from that, she needed a moment to herself to think before she spoke to Marlene at all.
Perhaps she should keep the whole thing to herself, at least for now. After all, it would be a shame to dampen Marlene's excitement at the first Gryffindor win of the school year. She trudged up the grassy lawns towards the open front doors, staring hard at the muddy ground as she thought. When the Dark Lord rids the pureblood lines of cowards and traitors. What was he on about?
Well, she knew about the pureblood lines and their choosiness of marital partners, thanks to Marlene. She supposed there had been no exaggeration when her friend had said the Lestranges were obsessed with her. It seemed that the brothers were under some delusion that they had a claim on Marlene, because she was a pure blood - Lily didn't bother herself with trying to understand the logic. There was clearly none.
No, the more concerning thing was the promise of removing cowards and traitors. How much credence could she attribute to his words? It was almost impossible for her to stay away from Marlene - after all, they shared a dorm - but if their friendship really was enough to put her in danger as Rodolphus threatened, then it was hardly worth it. She would miss their chats, but not enough to write her a death sentence.
There were just too many unknowns at play. Who was the Dark Lord? Why was there a threat on Marlene's life? Why were they watching her so closely? And why would Lestrange call Remus a mongrel?
Surely he didn't know?
Passing through the entrance hall doors did little to relieve her from the Autumn chill. Her nose was numb and she was certain it must be dripping. Her head was sore and there was nothing she'd rather do less than celebrate in the common room. There was one person who would probably know all the answers to her questions - hopefully he'd gotten over himself enough to speak properly to her.
It was always an inconvenience to try and get hold of anyone in another house at short notice. Presumably, Severus had returned to the common room with the rest of the Slytherins, but she had no idea what the password was. Even if she did know it, she would hardly go barging into the place that the Lestranges called home. Not after that encounter.
She would have to employ the age old tactic of loitering outside and hoping to run into someone who was willing to fetch him. Preferably one of the second year girls, but she might not be so lucky.
At least she was in her weekend clothes thanks to the match. Her hair made her stand out somewhat, but without her uniform, she was less recognisable. Hopefully most of the older students would mistake her for some Hufflepuff.
The dungeon corridor was quiet and the air felt strangely thick, as though the dampness that plagued the grounds had seeped into the castle walls. She spotted a couple of older students ahead of her, but the white-blonde hair was unmistakable, so she quickly diverted her path to the Potions classroom door hoping that Lucius would assume she was down here looking for Slughorn and not fraternising with his housemates. His smart shoes clacked loudly on the stone floor and he was completely uninterested in her. His pale eyes glossed over her as though she was some stone gargoyle and instead looked towards the footsteps of another student. She peeked behind the stone doorframe and watched as the prefect embraced another blonde student and immediately began snogging her with a viciousness Lily wasn't expecting.
She averted her eyes and hurried off down towards the hidden door, trying not to gag.
Lily stopped at the stretch of wall she remembered concealed the Slytherin common room door, and found a small alcove with a bench and a full suit of armour to wait. She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her head on them, trying to keep warm. It was a long while before she heard anyone come by, but eventually she was met with two first years hurrying along past her. She didn't recognise them from behind - one dark haired and the other a dirty blond. The blond one held out his arm as his friend was about to utter the password, stopping him.
"Hold on, Reg." The blond turned around and met Lily's eyes suspiciously. "Aren't you in Gryffindor?" He asked. He had an impressive nose and flat brown eyes that gave his face overall the impression of a bird inspecting a worm.
'Reg' turned around and Lily recognised him immediately. It was impossible not to - Sirius and his brother looked very alike.
"Yeah, I am. You're Regulus, aren't you? Who's your friend?"
Regulus was shorter than Sirius - shorter than Lily thought he had been last year, anyway. Though Sirius could look quite impassive when he wanted to, his brother had mastered the expression. His pale face was unreadable and his grey eyes were narrowed at her.
"What business is it of yours?"
Lily snorted with surprised laughter. "Christ, I was just asking." Then she remembered what Marlene had said about none of the Slytherins speaking to Sirius because of who he spoke to. It seemed that Slytherin was more complicated than she had any understanding of.
"What're you doing down here? Lost looking for Slughorn?" the blond stepped up to her as though he were about to inspect her.
"No, I need to talk to Severus - do you know him?"
The two boys exchanged a look.
"Snape? Yes, we've spoken some. Are you the mudblood he goes around with?"
Lily raised her eyebrow at Regulus Black. The word meant less to her than it did to her half-blood and pure blood friends, but she was well aware that it was absurd that it fell so easily from the mouth of this little eleven year old to an older student.
"Sirius wouldn't like to hear you say that," she chastised. The boys shared a look and laughed. It was jarringly childish, next to the slur he'd just said so casually. Once they'd composed themselves, Regulus seemed more charitable.
"Mind if I go get him, Barty? I owe Snape one, actually." 'Barty' shrugged and turned to Lily.
"Fingers in your ears, you're not getting the password."
She obeyed and watched as the common room door was revealed and they disappeared through it.
On her own again, she sat and waited, kicking her muddy shoes together absently. Sirius' brother was a strange one, but she couldn't be sure if that was just him, or if that was another symptom of her undesirable status. Sirius seemed to talk favourably of him, so perhaps his bluntness was just to save face in the snake-pit.
Goodness knows Severus could be like that from time to time.
Just when she was beginning to think that Severus had refused the summons and she had better make her way back before she missed dinner, the hidden door appeared again and a familiar slouching boy appeared. He still had his school uniform on.
"Sev!"
"Lily - Reg said you were hanging out around here - probably not the best idea, you should go-"
Lily jumped up to greet him, relieved. "Yeah, we can talk elsewhere. Come up to the courtyard with me?"
He seemed to hesitate for a moment, looking between her, the empty dungeon corridor and the blank stretch of wall where the door was concealed before he gave in and set off, falling in step beside her.
"You're going to get me in trouble with the older boys," he grumbled with no real malice. Lily rolled her eyes.
"Are they deciding who you talk to as well, now?"
"They don't decide, but they can make problems for me. Anyway, not the issue right now. What's this about - better not be Sirius Black."
"Why would it be Sirius…?" Lily ran through the day in her mind but couldn't find a hint of Sirius doing anything untoward. He hadn't even been called on as reserve in the match. She led Severus up into the Entrance Hall, before veering off towards the Transfiguration Department.
"I just thought it might have something to do with him. The older girls were talking to Regulus about his birthday - he wanted to go up and see him, but Bella said no."
"Who the Hell is Bella?" And then-
"Wait, it's his birthday?" She hadn't had an inkling of it. Not that it mattered to her, she supposed, but she had expected for him to have made it everybody's business, since the four boys loved to trouble the whole house with their goings on.
"Well, that's what Bella was saying-"
"Who is this Bella?"
To her surprise, Severus laughed. "She's in seventh year - Sirius' mad cousin. Her and Narcissa."
"And who-"
"Lucius' girlfriend. The blonde one. They're all Blacks. Anyway, Regulus was having an argument with Bellatrix this morning just before lunch. I only caught the end of it. So if this isn't about Black-"
It was getting dark already, but the flaming torches in the covered walkway provided enough warm light to see by. Lily settled herself in one of the arched 'windows' and Severus copied her.
"No, it's about Lestrange. He stopped me after the match - do you know anything about it?"
Severus looked genuinely surprised. "Rabastan? He was with me."
"No, the older one. He cornered me on the way out and was going on again about Marlene - but he said some weird things about purebloods and about Peter and Remus."
She searched her friend's face carefully. He had always been good at hiding his feelings. Not that he always bothered. But she had known him long enough to be sure that the blank look on his face was genuine.
"Well, he certainly didn't feel the need to brief me about it. What did he say? Anything enlightening?"
Lily sighed. She didn't like the idea of repeating it aloud, but she'd brought him this far, and there was no one around - it wasn't like they were about to be overheard.
"He said if I kept going around with Marlene, some guy called the 'Dark Lord' would kill her. I know those two have got a thing about Marlene, she's said before, but she never mentioned anyone being killed. Don't you think that's a bit much for him to say, Sev? I mean, he said it would be my fault if she was killed, because I'm mates with her. Is he trying to scare me or what? What's his problem with me?"
Perhaps he looked paler, or perhaps it was just the cold air of the open courtyard. He stared carefully at the brick behind her head, rather than meeting her eyes.
"No one's going to kill Marlene, Lily. He's what, thirteen? Fourteen? He just thinks he's a big man 'cause he's the oldest brother and he's got the younger ones hanging on his every word."
"You mean Rabastan?"
Severus nodded. "Him and Lennox. Maybe William and Evan too, but they're not quite as stupid, so maybe not."
"And what about you?"
She was sure her question was free of any hint of accusation, but he still flinched.
"You know I think him and 'Stan are idiots."
"So you say."
"I do say."
A stalemate.
"Alright then," Lily conceded. "What about this Dark Lord nonsense? Know who he's on about?"
A long, pained blink. He hitched one leg up onto the base of the arch and fiddled with his shoelaces.
"You can't tell anyone," he whispered, not looking at her. She leaned in a little closer to make sure she didn't miss a word.
"I won't."
A glance under his eyelashes to confirm she was as good as her word.
"Alright." He sighed. "I don't know a lot about it, but I've heard them going on about it before. You know this whole… this whole pureblood talk?" He coughed a little, as though the words didn't want to come out of his throat. "Well, there's this bloke - I don't even know if it's an actual bloke or just some nonsense that 'Stan and Rodolphus tell each other for a bedtime story - but he's into all that, and they reckon he'll get into power in a few years and… 'sort everything out' I suppose. That'll be what Lestrange was on about with Marlene. They don't want 'blood traitors' - people like the Potters - who are pureblood but mix with muggles. Must be worried the McKinnons are going the same way."
Lily groaned and dug the heels of her hands into her eyes until she saw stars. It really was never ending.
"This whole thing is ridiculous." She complained. "So I bet the lot of them believe all this, don't they? The older Blacks, and your mates and the older Slytherins. Bet they all can't wait for this Lord to come and kill off all the muggle-lovers."
Severus shrugged one shoulder noncommittally.
"Are they telling you the same nonsense, then?" She asked. "Surprised if Rodolphus hasn't pinned you to the wall and told you he'd kill you and your family if you don't stop talking to me."
Severus laughed, but there was no humour in it. Not unlike the laugh he'd cut her down with that morning in Potions.
"Not quite. It's different with me. I'm already tainted, aren't I? No one's marrying into my family. I suppose that's the nice thing about being a half-blood in Slytherin. I mostly get left alone."
Just like every other time she'd engaged in this nonsense, she was left with a silence and a deep regret of ever having asked once the deed was done. She avoided Severus' eyes and instead watched the low courtyard bushes for the occasional glimmer of a fairy.
Unexpectedly, Severus placed one cool hand over hers.
"So maybe it's all true and maybe it's all nonsense. Whatever. It's something for grown-ups to sort out. Just because Rodolphus fancies himself as one because he's grown a few pubes doesn't mean he's right. I'll always speak to you. And probably McKinnon would be a bit put out if you started ignoring her all of a sudden, so don't."
There was a truth to that, she supposed. Made all the more believable by the realness of Severus' hand on hers.
There was one flaw.
"What about when we're the grown-ups?"
She could hear the footsteps of the waves of students coming from their various engagements to the Great Hall for dinner.
"It'll be different when we're the grown-ups. We'll be smarter than that."