Confessions And Understanding -

I am just.. very sorry for such a long wait, but I assure you, ( I know, you've heard this before from a billion others, ) this has been re-brought to my attention again..

Anyway... Disclaimer: I do not own The Maze Runner

Thomas turned his attention back to Ava. She stood just in front of him. Her guards ready to paralyze him at any given moment with their launchers if he gave any indication of trying to escape, and, or take down Paige.

"Now, Thomas, I see you've seen what our newest employee is capable of, but that is not under topic of discussion, we need to discuss a cure." She said, smiling a fake smile. Thomas flinched at the word employee, as if that's all Newt had ever been.

"Why did you take him to this so-called 'dark room' if he's your employee?" Thomas asked suspiciously, Ava glanced at him with a smirk.

"For punishment of course, he was given clear instruction not to say a thing while he was fulfilling the task." She said smiling cruelly, he had a feeling she was lying but couldn't prove it.

"What do you want with me? And what did you do to Newt?" He demanded, she smirked wickedly.

"Oh, we've merely explained to him what he could do for the greater good, he was much easier to convince than we even expected. Jumped at the chance to save poor people, like him." Her words were icy and cruel as they glided off her tongue easily. Making his heart freeze. It would make more sense, if Newt really believed he could help save people infected with the flare, but it killed Thomas to know his friend had become one of them. Betraying Thomas to the fullest he ever could.

"Now, we have done extensive research on immunes blood and found ways to extract the immunogens we need to fight the flare. You have the highest levels of them we have ever seen, and thus, need you to construct a cure." She explained as she flashed a sickening smile.

He growled, but it was no use. Newt had betrayed him. WICKED was still alive. And he simply had no fight left.

"Just leave the other immunes out of this, if its me you want, you've got me." He relented, no longer willing to fight these monsters. Not knowing his best friend had really done that to him. Hated him enough to subject him to the torture and misery of WICKED.

Newt sat alone, in the darkness of his tiny cell for days. He received no food or water, and at one point really believed death was finally coming to him. He was just delusional from not eating or drinking.

He knew it was his own fault. He deserved it, welcomed it. Hoping he'd be able to relieve some of his guilt by the harsh punishment he was undergoing by WICKEDs hand. He wasn't even sure why, other than they no longer needed him. But on the fourth day, when someone finally walked towards his cell, and the twist of the lock sounded, he found out.

Dr Paige stood, shaking her head in disapproval. He slowly brought his head up despite the protest of his aching neck, to meet her eyes. Maybe make her feel some guilt for what she was doing.

"Really you need to learn how to behave at WICKED." She said, he looked at her confused. "Locking you up in here was to remind you of who's in charge, and to punish you for your rebellious silence of before."

He knew keeping silent in spite of her warnings would come back to bite him.

"Now." She said, snapping her fingers as two guards came bending down and undoing the cuffs, releasing him of the chains hold. "Follow me."

He would have, would have stood and followed her, had his strength not been completely drained. He literally could not move his legs to stand, the best they would get out of him was a pathetic twitch where he sat still in the same position against the wall.

"Help him." Dr Paige commanded the guards, and he felt himself be lifted off the ground, when they realized he was barely conscious as it was they didn't even try to make him stand. They just carried him to somewhere he couldn't even stay awake long enough to figure out where he was going.

When he woke up, he was changed into fresh clothes and clean of the muck and filth of the dark room. He ignored the disturbing thoughts of how he might have gotten that way, and focused on where he was.

He was lying on soft material that felt heavenly to his broken body, he guessed a bed. When he cracked his eyes open he saw he was back in his previous room, and what he saw surprised him.

Thomas was leaning over him. No, he must be hallucinating, it couldn't be real. The flare had come back, and this time it wasn't leaving.

But when he blinked, again and again, Thomas stayed there. Tommy was right in front of him, and he was pretty sure he was real.

Thomas didn't exactly look worried, or particularly as furious as he had been before, a little ticked maybe, but not raging kill him angry.

He moaned as a wave of pain went through his ribs where the guards had kicked him before locking him away. He squeezed his eyes shut, before another wave of pain passed through his abdomen and he winced. He wished desperately for some kind of sign that Thomas would forgive him, still cared, if even just the littlest bit.

He kept his eyes closed, but he figured he should say something.

"I-'m sorry, I-"

"Save it." Thomas' sharp voice cut through the tension in the air, only making it worse. He felt his heart clench and wondered what he could do to make Thomas understand.

"Y-you don't understand, Tommy." He tried opening his eyes to look into his best friends eyes. Thomas only bristled at the name.

"I told you not to call me that." He said, and Newt felt his heart sink.

"But you don't-."

"Understand?" Thomas cut him off. "I think I understand perfectly, they told you all about how you could save people, who were afflicted by the flare, people like you, and you jumped at the chance to disown and betray your best friend's!"

He flinched at the accusation. He wanted to say no, that of course he would never do that. That he was just as much on Thomas' side as he ever was, that WICKED had hurt him, tell him what they'd done, tell him how they'd threatened him, but he couldn't. everything was caught up in his head, and making no sense coming from his mouth. He understood why Thomas would doubt him, hate him for what he did.

"I didn't mean to-"

"I said save it." The anger in Thomas' voice shut him up, a bit of fear at what the bigger boy would do if he dared to speak anyway, to try to explain, even if badly, why he had done it.

He stayed silent as Thomas got up and hauled himself to the top bunk above his. He wondered if that had been WICKEDs plan all along. He didn't understand them, and figured he never would, would never want to.

It was quiet for another long while before Thomas spoke again.

"Why?" One word and yet so hurtful. He hadn't planned on speaking again, to instead just accept his new horror of a life without question, but of course, Thomas' curiosity would always get the better of him. Newt sighed, wondering if he could ever put it in words.

"Its a bloody long story." He finally decided on, knowing that if his friend cared at all he'd ask for the long story and then Newt could start from the beginning.

"Tell me the long story." Thomas said, Newt felt the shadow of a smile try to creep onto his face at his friend's predictability, but it left as quickly as it'd come.

"Well I woke up briefly the first time after we..met last, and found out it was WICKED that'd saved me." Newt began. "When I woke up again I was in a completely dark room, with cement floors and walls, and they'd cuffed my wrists and ankles to the walls. Then Dr Paige had showed up, and started talking about something to do with acting, and monitoring brain activity, and, started saying something about this being a new branch of WICKED, the old building being bombed or something, something about dissecting someone's brain..and they wouldn't tell me if any of you were alive."

He paused, taking a breath. Thomas' silence urging him on to tell the next part.

"I said something about that being stupid, because it was the blood that made you immune or not, she said something else and then she just left. Left me in the cell for about eight days." He paused, to try and listen for a reaction from Tommy.

"Eight days?!" He asked incredulously, and even though he couldn't see him from his position he could imagine the surprise on his face. "With no food or water?"

"Yes." He answered, he didn't want to talk about his torment anymore, it made him think of the darkness, of the monsters his flare-ridden brain had come up with to terrify him further. "Does it matter, you obviously bloody hate me now anyway."

He mumbled the words, but it was loud in the silent room and filled with the pain of being abandoned by his friends. There was a sigh.

"Would you explain why you did it?" Thomas' voice rang out, he hadn't denied that he hated him. Newt's heart sank.

"They, they threatened everybody, said they needed you, would get you, and if I didn't help them.." His voice cut off, remembering the terror the threat had come with. "They said they would..kill everyone, and..rape my sister and the other girls, if I didn't help them." He said in between gulps, trying his best not to cry. There was a gasp from above.

The sound of Thomas climbing down the ladder, and he squeezed his eyes shut, growling mentally at himself for letting the tears slip out his closed eyes.

"I can't believe this." Tommy said, voice filled with anger and his heart sank again. He was still angry. "I cannot believe this!"

"I'm so sorry Tommy, I didn't want to! I swear! I didn't want to! I'm sorry!" He cried out, his sobs overwhelming his small form as Thomas leant over him. And he was both shocked and surprised when he felt Thomas pull him into a hug.

"I know Newt, I don't blame you, it's not your fault." He felt his heart rip with pain. He'd wanted to hear those words so bad, to tell him he was doing, and had done the right thing. He so desperately wanted Tommy's approval and forgiveness that he didn't even know himself how much until it was given and he found himself crying desperately into the poor boy's arms. He felt so guilty, so disgusting and unforgivable that he hadn't even realized how much it was stressing him out.

He continued to mutter the same words over and over again as he let out every pain and distress that had haunted him out in the outburst.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled again, Thomas squeezed his thin form harder against him.

"Shh, it's okay, I promise, it wasn't your fault." Tommy whispered.

"I was so bloody scared you wouldn't forgive me." He cried, Thomas shushed him. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, it's okay, we'll get out of here and you'll be okay." Thomas said, he nodded allowing himself to foolishly believe whatever Tommy said. Let his tormented brain be free of the pressure to make decisions, and try and find a way out. As long as he was with Tommy, Tommy would protect him. Tommy would get him and himself home. Tommy didn't blame him, he understood. He knew Tommy would understand.

Special mentions, thank you to two people who pm'd me! I really appreciate it! but right now my attention is so divided into too many things, thanks tho.. it means a lot to me,.. :') 3

Hope everyone liked the chapter! Another apology for it taking so so long, c: