Author's note: I am sorry it has taken so long to get back to this. As much as I love this episode, it is heavy going, so was worried that it would not suit my frivolous writing style. I was a little worried about this one and so put it off - and then I got Covid, which scrambled my brain a little. I am still not sure I am fully with it yet, but couldn't put it off any longer. Here are the first two days of the diary.

Part 1:

It's funny, but what became a day of sadness and trauma, began with silliness and a little guilt. I know that I will need to get to the pain and anguish that beset the DLO eventually, but let me have a moment of levity first.

Becky is still here. We have shopped, had cocktails, had more manicures that really were necessary, and laughed. Oh, I have missed her. I mean, Denver is great, and Rita especially is great, but Becky is ride-or-die. With Rita, I often feel like I am corrupting an innocent, but with Becky, I think that has already happened. I mean, she is just as likely to lead me astray as I am her. So today, we began with our fairly usual breakfast catch up. We also began with the usual topic of conversation, Oliver. Basically, after a whole lot of 'If you knew, that he knew, that I told you, that he knew,' or something like that, it became apparent that Oliver heard what I said about him. I was mortified. How could I face him? What did he think of me? So embarrassing!

It certainly made for a very odd and awkward conversation when Oliver came to find me a little later. Becky bailed like a chicken, and I was left to muddle through a very strange exchange. What was Oliver talking about? Was I going to move on? What had given him that idea? Was I unhappy with the DLO? What on earth was he trying to say? Sometimes I feel like I am conversing with an alien. Eventually, this excruciating conversation was abandoned, and he got to the point – a package that had arrived, addressed to the DLO. (And here I was thinking that no one knew about our amazingly, glamourous work!)

A package containing a pilfered bible and a defaced letter. Who knew that this would lead us on such an important quest?

Reading the letter was heartbreaking, but even though its contents were so traumatic, it seemed as if both Oliver and I knew it was vitally important. I had a feeling, and he thought that the passage underlined in the bible was a sign: 'And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.' John 8:32

Becky and Norman both thought this was the saddest letter they had ever read, and it wasn't even meant for them. Rita's brilliant recall of the written word, and Oliver's impeccable sense of duty, caused us to send to Michael Wheeler, Assistant District Attorney, the bleakest, most crushing missive.

Part 2:

Today began painfully, and didn't show signs of improvement. We had sent off into the beyond a letter that would change lives, and maybe not for the better. How would Michael Wheeler feel upon receiving this news? What guilt would it bestow on the reader? How would this letter change the life of Abby, surely the most innocent victim in all of this? Everyone in the DLO was shaken. We were an unfocussed and guilt-ridden shadow of our usually productive selves. And I couldn't live with that.

I sometimes work under the theory that it is better if Oliver doesn't know what I am up to. This probably, no definitely, was one of those occasions. I shouldn't have taken myself to Michael Wheeler's office, probably. I shouldn't have stretched the truth with his assistant, probably. I shouldn't have followed a grieving man to his wife's grave, probably. But, if I hadn't what then? No, I was definitely doing what needed to be done.

Technologically, I had been coasting since arriving in Colorado. Nothing I had done, or found or searched was really up to my skillset. Does that seem arrogant? Well, it's true. Teenage hackers who become government employees with seriously high levels of security clearance don't spend their time running searches that anyone with an ancestry subscription or access to a fairly up to date newspaper archive could achieve. I hadn't exactly been lying to my co-workers, but I certainly didn't keep them fully in the loop.

I thought that my actions would have consequences. People tend to look at you differently when you spring some significant ability on them, especially if you have kept quiet about it for months. I have seen the judgement and fear in the eyes of others when they become aware of how much you can do, how far into their lives you can easily dive. I have seen people who have been friendly become distant. But this was worth it. Melissa's memory was worth it, and so were Michael and Abby.

I gave them a chance. I told them they could run, turn their backs on what I was about to do so that they could deny any knowledge of my actions if it all went wrong. I think I hoped they would. I don't want them to think differently of me. But the brave little band stood by me as I jumped into some seriously grey coloured cyber-detection.

Michael Wheeler was planning to kill Carl Brachner. He was thirsting for revenge. We all saw it right on my screen. I will admit, if I had done this on my own, that is probably where I would have stopped looking, thinking that we had enough detail to move from here. It was Oliver who made the intuitive leap to look into Abby and her medical records. He was the one who put the next piece into the puzzle. He is really very clever.

We took our slivers of knowledge to Becky. Oliver and I knew that we needed help if we were going to be able to help not only Abby, but maybe Michael and Brachner as well. Becky called it a game-changer, and she was right. I love Becky. She was looking for her special project, and we just became that project. Her support (and perhaps her ability to not only look the other direction, but create the diversion so that everyone else looked that way too) was going to mean the DLO could help save Abby and Brachner, even though that was the secondary consideration.

What a dinner date! We walked in with guilt and walked out with a designation as a special taskforce. A taskforce with wide powers of discretion, financial independence and reduced oversight! Okay, I'll be honest, Norman is not the only one who is going to love this new arrangement.

Poor Oliver. He has never seen Rebecca Starkwell in full steam-roller mode before. But when she wants something, she certainly knows how to get it. Little did Mr O'Toole know that this was going to completely change his world.