March 2014
A Rose, By Any Other Name…
One of Cherie's tasks at the store is to clear the "searching for" email file. Print out the email and search the store. If the book is found, highlight the title on the email, tuck it in the book and set it by Valerie's desk for processing. We have a fill-in-the-blanks form online, so it's easy-peasy.
After a couple of hours of searching one day, she came to me with a bemused look. "We need some clarification, I think."
I looked at the paper she held out and laughed. "Nope. No clarification. She's an old customer."
"Her name is… Female?"
"She pronounces it Feh-MAH-lay. The accent marks are missing." It was an old story, one I'd heard decades ago. "When she was born, it was in some little backwoods town her parents were driving through. They spoke no English, so the records officer at the hospital just copied the last name and marked off 'female' figuring they'd fix it later. By the time they figured it out, it was months down the line and they didn't know how to navigate the system to get it fixed. It was easier just to stop calling her the name they'd chosen and call her Fe'màlé."
"You're serious."
"You work with someone whose mother—and she does speak English—chose to name her kid Chanda Lear—and you question…?"
She held up her hands in defeat. "Got it, got it." We have a list of names in a very private file in the office. As she walked away I heard her mutter, "I guess Sh'thayad isn't an urban myth!"
Sh'thayad is *not an urban myth. She called in to our Shall Be Nameless Call Center and, when asked for the spelling of her name, rattled it off. We share interesting names in chat, but the agent knew if he posted the name he'd be fired. I'll give it to you military phonetically: Sierra Hotel India Tango Hotel Echo Alpha Delta. The agent didn't have the cajones to ask her if this was given name (and why?) or if she changed it as an adult (double why?). He likes his job and wanted to keep it.
Fe'màlé is also for real, back in high school. So was Chanda Lear, Patty and Angel Cake, Holliday Cruze and Saltun Pepper.
Told you 99% of the stories are real life. Some kids should be named by committee instead of by parents.