My Life Would Run Much More Smoothly

by Aunt Kitty

A collection of vignettes featuring Donald Mallard and Cassandra Talmadge. Not a sequel, just snippets. No plot, so don't worry that it's not complete. Will probably never be complete; Sandy won't shut up.

112. I May Look Like I'm Doing Nothing

Spring, 2015

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I May Look Like I'm Doing Nothing, But In My Mind I Am Quite Busy

Snork.
Snicker.
Giggle.

I finally twisted around from my not-so-comfy pose over the edge of the tub. "What is so amusing?"

Lexi was about to start on scrubbing the linoleum behind the toilet (she's small and limber and can pull off this chore better than I can). She burst into actual laughter. "You washed your hands!"

"And?"

She fell over and landed on her butt. "You're scrubbing the tub! Comet!" She started giggling again. "You used the potty and washed your hands before you started scrubbing the tub with Cahhhhhhmet! How clean do your hands need to be to scrub the tub?"

Okay, in retrospect it was a little silly, but… "You wash your hands every time you go to the bathroom, right?"

"Of course," she said, offended. She giggled again. "But—"

"BUT. It's in my DNA, kid. You use the bathroom, you wash your hands. I've got almost 60 years of this pounded into me! If I didn't wash my hands my mother would come back from the dead and smack me silly."

Lexi stopped spritzing foaming bubble cleaner. "Grandma T isn't dead."

"That would kill her!"