Hey yall, I'm back!

Since the last time you saw me, I've landed a full time job. And not just any job, but the one I'd been working towards for the last 10 years! It's awesome! But it can also be exhausting! So sadly, my updates will still be pretty sporadic. But I finally got to write last night, and I managed to crank out a whole chapter in one sitting, which hasn't happened since Skyfire's early days.

PTSD recovery is heavy stuff. I know because I've done it, I do it every day. I'm not going to shy away from the aspects of it, either. So here's your trigger warning in advance. I will NOT go more intense than I think SW would naturally go, but I still wanted to give you the heads up, just in case.

Hey, why are you still reading this? Go get started on the chapter! :)

Chapter 8: Come Home To Me

The last time she had seen the gas giant, Kit had been sitting by her side, tired but still asking a hundred questions. Mila had noticed his CO's beautiful brown eyes, his crooked grin, for the first time. Palvo and Cage were still alive. And though the fear of it still hung over them, war and the magnitude of its horrors seemed like a bad dream, enough to make her heartbeat quicken and her breath shorten, but still far away. Somehow, though she'd been in a firefight only hours beforehand, still impossible.

The battle she faced now hadn't even been a thought. It never had been, not until the first nightmare wasn't a one off, not until her heart never stopped racing, not until she looked for Stormtroopers around every corner.

D'Qar's tunnels had no corners. That made it a little easier. This new place, though, would.

Poe had faith in her. She half expected it to wind up misplaced.

Darkness, and then sunlight. Sudden. Sometimes there wasn't time in the prison she was locked in.

"Doc?"

She jumped as she came back. Mila hadn't even felt the descent, the pull of gravity on the U-wing's body as it stopped floating, settled on the ground.

Poe grimaced apologetically, his eyes soft. "Sorry, sweetheart. Didn't mean to scare you."

Mila chased after her lost breath with a hard sigh.

"You good?"

"Yeah."

No.

He helped her with her bags and slid open the door. The first thing to hit them both was the heavy, drenched air. Mila's face wrinkled. Poe laughed.

"Told ya it was sticky."

Mila started to take in the dock she stood on, the smattering of buildings clustered together in front of her. A melting pot of people rushed around them. Mila tensed. She hadn't expected sleepy Yavin Four to be so busy.

"This port is a hub for people all over the galaxy. From all walks of life." He chuckled. "Not all of them good."

She started to follow him. "Said you learned that one the hard way. This is where it happened?"

"The bar around the corner, but yeah. Made a lot of bad decisions that night."

A ghost of a smile tugged on Mila's lips. "But she was just soo pretty."

Poe laughed. "Yeah. And I just wanted to leave this rock." He leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Thanks for not holding that against me."

That got a grin out of her. "You were so young. You're not that boy anymore. And it led you where you were supposed to be. Started to turn you into who you were meant to become."

His hand engulfed hers, warm and familiar.

"This is a place of new beginnings, that's for sure."

The weight settled back on her shoulders. She took a shuttering breath. Poe's hand dropped hers and moved to the small of her back, pulling her to him.

"I can't do this, Poe." She hated how her voice shook.

"Yes you can."

She wanted to hope so. What if she hadn't faced the worst of it? It hadn't fully come for her yet, but there were times it had danced in her pereferal. The night she had hit him, she'd heard it whispering. The ghost that came for so many of her fellow soldiers, the one that tempted them away from the world with the promise of no more pain.

She couldn't face that. Not without him, not alone.

If it finally did come for her, could she shut it down?

Tears steamed behind her eyes. She tightened her grip, burying her face into his shoulder, breathing in the scent of leather and stale air and the standard issue soap they all bathed in. It would be the last time for a while.

It might be the last time.

He kissed her hard. Could he read her thoughts? He took her face in his hands, rested his forehead against hers.

"You can do this."

Mila shook her head.

"Yes, you can."

She seized the sound of his voice, stored it away. But the words came with it.

Yes you can. Yes you can.

Calo's smile. The giggles of her nephews. Even the faces of her parents, as much as she distrusted them, of Damien. Of Jess and Snap and Aly and Karé and Iolo.

Of Kit.

Of Jaren.

Her hands tightened around Poe's wrists. She didn't know what she would face. She didn't know who she would face it with. It would be a battle. But even wounded, even broken, she was still a soldier.

Battle was her specialty.

"Yes, you can." His voice was shaking now. He was begging her to believe him.

Her eyes met his. Brown irises drowned behind tears.

"I'll try," she said. And she meant it.

He pulled her back to him, the embrace crushing.

"And then you come home to me doc, okay?"

Mila nodded.

"I love you, Mila. I'm so proud of you."

"I love you, too."

Poe pulled back, his hands on her shoulders. "Go kick this thing in the choobies."

Her smile trembled on her face as he kissed her forehead and whispered a goodbye. Once he turned his back, it shattered. He disappeared in the crowd. Soon the old U-wing rose into the air. Mila watched it fade into the clouds. Stood staring at the sky long after it had disappeared.

She was on her own.

Shaking hands gripping her bags, Mila started weaving through the crowd. Leia had said she'd know her contact's face. She'd probably seen him in old war footage, on Rebel propaganda posters.

She caught a glimpse of his broad shoulders, his height towering over nearly everyone else. The streaks of grey in his black hair, the scar over his left eye. Was this….

He looked up and saw her, his face softening as his pace quickened. The last time she'd seen him, she'd just danced with him on the happiest day of her life. He'd been one of the few there. Her bags tumbled from her hands. The world went silent as she strode towards him.

Once she was crushed in Kes Dameron's embrace, her tears finally fell.

"It's okay, kid." He rocked her in his arms. She didn't remember the last time her own father had done that. "I'm here to help you."

She found her breath again. Her feet steadied beneath her.

"You're not alone."