It was the same dream as Amarantha. I was strapped to a table, the knife at my heart, ready to pierce. My family lay dead. All of them. Surrounding me.

As the knife pierced my chest, I looked into Tamlin's rabid eyes as he plunged it into my heart.

I woke up screaming.

Tears dripped down my face and my hands shook. Sweat ran down my back.

I bolted to the bathroom, hurling my stomach contents into the bowl.

I brushed my teeth and washed my face with freezing water, hoping the cold would centre me.

My lip trembled and tears dripped from my eyes.

I opened the door, heading to the kitchen, my heart pounding in my ears. I noted the gasping rasps of my breaths in the silent air.

As I approached the stairs, a figure made my pounding heart leap in fright.

I gasped and leaned into the wall on instinct, my hand flying to my chest.

"It's me hey, hey." Cassian stood with his hands upright, trying deliberately not to startle me.

I sighed in relief, my hands trembling.

"Shit. Sorry sorry, sorry." I rasped in fright in between gasps, tears streaming down my cheeks more from the nightmare still.

Cassian crossed the space between us instantly.

"Hey, just breathe." He embraced me with his arms, hugging me tight.

I focussed on breathing in time to his chest.

I took more deep breaths, taking in his scent.

I felt guilty I'd woken him. Azriel was likely up as well, the scent of my fear enough to shoot their Illyrian instincts out of bed in a panic.

I sighed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." My voice trembled.

He rubbed my back with his large hand, the size spreading across my entire shoulder blade width, soothingly.

"Dont be sorry. Come have a tea. I'll put the kettle on."

He smiled, worry in his eyes, as he headed down stairs.

A door creaked down the hall, deliberately.

I glanced down to see Azriel leaning against his door frame, arms crossed. His shadows swirled restlessly.

"You okay, Feyre?" He asked softly.

I nodded, smiling gratefully.

"Sorry-"

"You don't ever need to apologise." He smiled kindly and turned back into his room.

Cassian pressed a warm tea into my hands and I sipped it gratefully, leaning on the kitchen bench.

He took a spot across from me, doing the same.

He raised his eyebrows.

"You need to talk about it?"

He held his cup in one hand, taking a sip.

I thought about it. I wasn't afraid of Tamlin, I was afraid of another war. Of anything that would risk my family's safety after Hybern.

Not having Tamlin as an ally made me nervous. After his betrayal to the king caused everything.

Rhys's dead body flashed in my mind. Cassian's broken wings.

I took a shaky breath.

"It's just, I want peace to last. I want to," I sniffed, "to protect you all from ever experiencing danger like that ever again."

Cassian sighed, tilting his head.

"Feyre, we are safe now." His tone was warm and comforting.

He placed his cup on the bench, standing up.

"And on the contrary, it's not your job to protect us." He said lighthearted, his eyes rolling once.

I glared at him in annoyance. He walked over towards me, chuckling.

He gripped my upper arms and squeezed once.

I looked up at his teasing smile, feeling much calmer in his presence.

"Thank you."

I said genuinely.

He winked at me.

"Go to bed."

I slept soundly for the rest of the night.

Rhys was away with Mor and Amren on a diplomatic mission which likely explained the nightmares returning.

Tamlin lingered on my mind a lot lately. Hearing updates from Lucien that he had torn about his manor had really unsettled me. After his betrayal to Hybern, I truly didn't trust what he was capable of.

I knew my family also had a similar hatred. Rhys, Cassian and Azriel would jump at the opportunity to torture and kill him for his sins against me alone. Mor as well. But they all didn't have the added fear of his vengeance. If anyone could form at least a diplomatic relationship with him to protect Velaris in future, it was me.

Keep your enemies closer.

I awoke early despite the restless night. I trained with both Cassian and Azriel, grateful for the energy expenditure and mindfulness of focusing on my sore muscles over my thoughts.

Once I was dripping with sweat, I headed to the kitchen, sipping a cold glass of water eagerly.

Heading on the balcony, I leaned against the stone railing, admiring the view. I shivered as the cool wind blew my hair.

My mind tempted to drift into the fear of last night. Into strategising as to how I would strengthen our relationship with the Spring Court as a future defence tactic.

Movement from behind me caught my eye, pausing my train of thought.

Lucien stood a few paces away, his red hair blowing in the wind.

His expression was grave. Furious.

My eyes widened, confused and startled.

"Lucien, what's-"

He took a step forward, anger seeping from his shoulders.

"You need to FIX this." He boomed, a snarl at his lips.

"What?" I questioned, shocked at his anger. I nearly recoiled, but I felt the balcony railing against the back of my legs.

"Tamlin is in ruins. The Spring Court is a wasteland. Even his sentries have abandoned him. This is your fault." He growled, his hands in tight fists, standing a few feet away from me.

I froze in place, still leaning against the railing behind me. I'd never viewed the redhead as threatening, however he was a sight to see.

I swallowed my emotion.

"Lucien, he made his bed." I said slowly, anger rising.

Lucien's nostrils flared. He stepped forward, rage on his face.

"You have no idea-"

A piercing voice shattered the air, the very sky darkening with shadows.

"Take one more step, and I'll rip your throat out."

Azriel stood near the door, his arms by his side, shoulders tensed and ready to winnow in front of me.

Lucien recoiled at the promise of threat in his tone, stepping back a few paces.

He shot me one more glare before he turned, storming out, ensuring a wide distance from the Shadowsinger as he left.

Azriel followed his every move with his eyes, until he had disappeared down the hall, his shadows following him.

Guilt hit my stomach like a brick. I had to deal with Tamlin. He was broken and Volatile. We needed the Spring Court's alliance. I did need to fix this.

I gasped softly as I looked up, not noticing Azriel had walked over towards me, shadows surveilling past his shoulders.

His jaw was clenched, his gaze concerned.

"Are you alright?" His tone was restrained with anger.

I nodded, unconvincingly.

Azriel leaned against the railing next to me, his shoulders relaxing slightly.

I felt his gaze on my face, observing.

"Feyre, don't listen to a word he says. That bastard deserves every bit of punishment." He ran a hand through his dark hair. I shivered at the thought of Azriel's skill of punishments.

I smiled. I didn't realise that Rhys had ever told them details of Tamlin's treatment of me. It sure sounded like he had, with the conviction in Azriel's voice.

"Thank you." I smiled warmly at the Shadowsinger.

He smiled back.

"Don't thank me. It was hard for me not to kill him on the spot when he cornered you like that." Azriel said coldly.

I huffed out a laugh.

"What did I do to deserve you as a friend, Shadowsinger."

A deep chuckle.

I didn't sleep well again. Not because of my nightmares but because of the decision I had made.

I would see Tamlin. Use whatever feelings he had once had for me against him. To appeal to his humanity, to get him to drop this vengeance he had against the world and with it, any future danger against us. To ally as an acquaintance.

A pragmatic strategy of protection.

The visions of my nightmare flashed in my mind. I would do anything to protect my family. Even go and speak to that traitor.

I tossed and turned. No one would be happy about it, least of all Rhys. Especially since I planned to go alone.

I would have to leave tomorrow and aim to be back by evening, with the others away. Less prying eyes and opinions.

I'd be able to get past Cassian and Azriel and likely convince them of my motives. It was simple war strategy.

After morning training, I found the two Illyrians slumped in the dining room, drinking coffee and chatting about the Illyrians camp.

They hovered around me so much more with Rhys away, even though I knew it was simply a subconscious instinct for them.

I couldn't shake Lucien's accusations yesterday. He wasn't entirely wrong.

I could tell Cassian could sense my tense emotions today, his gaze more serious than normal, as Azriel would have also informed him of Lucien's little argument. Busy bodies.

I stood up with my coffee cup, heading to the kitchen. I felt their gaze on me as I left the room, however they were arguing about the camp at present.

A good opportunity.

Placing my cup on the sink, I swung my ready pack over my shoulder, heading for the back kitchen door. This would negate the need to walk past the Illyrians to get to the front door.

I listened to my creak on the floorboards, biting my teeth hard, holding my breath to prevent any noise-

A throat clearing noise sounded from behind me.

Shit.

I turned slowly.

Cassian stood tall, his arms crossed, Azriel leaning lazily against the doorframe.

"And where are you going?" Cassian asked, his tone light but his expression serious as he took in my body language and my loaded pack. I knew the pack was a mistake.

"Im going out." I said, my tone harsh, defensive.

Azriel smirked darkly, standing upright, noting the challenge in my voice.

I swallowed nervously.

"And WHERE is out?" Cassian queried, his gaze accusing.

"Just to town." My eye contact averted to the left briefly and back at the towering Illyrians. An obvious lie I knew they read well.

I shifted on my feet.

"You need to work on your lying skills, Archeron." Cassian said, his tone serious, all humor now vanished.

.

My heart leaped and I knew they could hear it.

Anger pooled in my veins. Azriel stepped forward, crossing his arms.

"Is this some sort of interrogation?" I snarled, taking in their defensive postures.

Cassian paced a few steps, closing the distance between us.

"It is when you reek of fear and just happen to be sneaking out, coincidentally when Rhys isn't around." Cassian glowered, angry.

My heart pounded. I didn't need this.

"We just want to ensure your safe is all." Azriel said diplomatically, his shadows swirling around me and ducking back behind his shoulders.

"Where are you going?" Cassian's tone was piercing, his patience tested.

I didn't know if they'd let me go or not. But i would not let them stop my chance at protecting our peace.

"If I tell you, you both have to promise not to follow me." I pleaded, sheepishly.

Cassian ran an exasperated hand through his hair, shooting Azriel a glance.

"Geez, this sounds good."

I rolled my eyes, changing my mind.

"To do something I just need to do. For me and for Velaris. I don't have to explain anything to you." I clenched my jaw in response to Cassian's expression building with anger. Azriels eyes narrowed.

Cassian opened his mouth to retort but I spoke first.

"Rhys isn't around to order you to two to be my personal sentries so you can both stop the ruse."

I held my frown despite watching their faces shift slightly in hurt.

"I'll be back tomorrow." My nostrils flared in confrontation.

I turned abruptly, gripping the door handle and pulling roughly.

A force pushed it closed. I looked up in confusion as a shadow hovered above the door. I spun around, glowering at Azriel. His expression didn't shift.

"Feyre, we don't protect you because it's an obligation. We do it because you're our family." Azriel said, his voice softer.

I blinked in surprise, emotion in my throat at the kindness in his words.

But, I didn't care that I was being unreasonable.

Silence loomed for a few seconds, the floor boards creaking as Cassian approached me.

"And because you're stubborn." Cassian smirked his usual smile.

I leaned against the door, reaching behind my body, pulling the handle again. Cassian raised an eyebrow and I just glared. It didn't budge.

Azriels smile pulled up in a satisfied smirk. I huffed again.

"Feyre." Cassian promoted, standing a few steps from me, Azriel behind him. He waited for my answer.

I chewed my lip. Fine.

"I'm going to strike an alliance with Tamlin." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

I tensed, watching their expressions.

Azriel's jaw tightened, his gaze sharpening.

Cassian glowered at me, his eyes wide in surprise.

"You are joking." He said accusingly, as if giving me a chance to correct myself.

I frowned at him.

"You cannot be serious." He said again, trying to restrain his building anger.

I didn't need this.

I turned and pulled the handle hard, in futility.

"Azriel!" I growled, glaring at him. His neutral expression didn't change.

"Feyre." Cassian's warning tone snapped my attention back to his large frame looming over me.

I sighed, preparing my defence.

"If we have an alliance with the Spring Court-,"

"Wait- you planned to go ALONE for this?" Cassian raised his voice, incredulous.

I crossed my arms in defiance.

He chuckled without humor, turning to Azriel and then back to me.

"How could you put yourself in danger like that- how"

My emotional hold snapped.

"because I WILL NOT put you all in danger. He's a High Lord, he's strong, he, he could hurt you-." My nightmare flashed in my mind.

I struggled for my voice to not break with emotion.

"I will go alone." My tone was final.

I stormed past him, heading to the front exit. He gripped my arm before I could move more than a few steps.

"Talk to me." He demanded softer, his eyes scanning my face, filled with worry. I knew he could see all of my fear all of my emotions, my nightmares.

I felt Azriel's gaze on the back of my head.

I bit my lip.

"Look you've both trained me, He's no threat-"

He dropped my arm in a huff.

"Oh come on, Feyre. He's double your size and strength and he's set on vengeance against you. How is that not a threat-" he lectured.

"I don't need your permission, Cassian!"

I stormed furiously past them both, their expressions surprised and stern. Azriel glared as I passed, his shadows whirling.

My feet thudded on the floor boards with each furious step as I reached the front door.

I didn't need this. There was no debate. My family would stay out of this.

I stomped down the steps and into the snow. I didn't care about the risk as long as my family were safe.

Azriel appeared in front of me. He flicked his dark hair from his eyes.

I glared at him, hearing Cassian's not so subtle footsteps approaching.

"Hey." His dark brown eyes softened.

"I know it's a good diplomatic strategy, and I understand why you don't want Rhys there." Azriel's tone was warm but edged.

Because Tamlin would not stay alive with so much as one retort to Rhys at my expense.

I noticed Cassian standing with his arms crossed.

Azriel's voice darkened.

"But we've seen many kinds of people and enemies, Feyre. And Tamlin-" a growl rumbled in his chest.

"He is so full of rage and vengeance towards you-" Azriel looked down, composing himself, his jaw clenched.

"I won't allow you near him alone." His words rang with finality.

Cassian stiffened beside on reaction.

I sighed. Azriel was right. He had a calming presence and it was working on me.

It was foolish.

I could go with Rhys when he was back and even leave him outside to avoid pissing Tamlin off too much.

Plus Rhys would kill me if he knew I'd put myself at risk.

Still, the fear from the nightmares lingered.

"Feyre, you can go with Rhys or one of us once we all discuss this later. Plus it wouldn't be the worst if Rhys killed the bastard." Cassian smirked darkly.

I couldn't help the half smile that pulled up in the corner of my mouth with his expression.

Cassian squeezed my shoulder playfully, although his eyes still watched me intently, analysing my emotions and decision.

I still wanted to do this alone, call it closure, call it independence. If the two Illyrians were going to get in my way, I'd have to lie.

I smiled back at him, his eyes scanning mine.

"Fine, we can discuss it later."

He winked at me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as we headed back to the house.