The Strange Strangers from China
[EXTENDED Edition]

FEATURING THE VOICES OF:
Brigitta Dau as Female-Ranma*
Robert O. Smith as Genma
Rick Jones as Kenma
David Kaye as Soun
Willow Johnson as Kasumi
Angela Costain as Nabiki
Myriam Sirois as Akane
Sarah Strange as Male Ranma
Ian James Corlett as Tour Guide

NERIMA, JAPAN
Tuesday, 2pm

The rain poured down in the streets of Nerima as a red-headed girl raced down the road; in pursuit of her was a panda bear, followed by a ginger-haired boy in a blue, ripped, short sleeved jean jacket & Japanese sweatpants that spelt out "Senpai" on the side in kanji, and beige boots, a hood covering his head and hands in pockets.

"Hey!" the girl snapped as she threw her backpack aside. "You better cut that out!"

The massive ursine lunged for her, but she leapt up and kicked him in the face, toppling him over. Fortunately, the boy behind him managed to get out of the way just in time.

"Geez, watch where you're kicking; he almost flattened me!" the boy exclaimed.

"Whoops! Sorry, Ken!" the girl apologized. Before she could walk away, the panda leapt to his feet, and smacked her, sending her sliding down a street corner and into a more populated area.

This, of course, garnered the attention of several passers-by, who ALL turned towards the giant panda approaching the young girl. The boy managed to catch up to the panda and squeezed out from behind him, so as to not end up as collateral damage.

Glancing around, the boy realized all these people around here could pose a major problem. Time to do damage control, he thought as he ran over to the people.

"OKAY, PEOPLE! LET'S GO, DOUBLE-TIME! MOVE-IT-MOVE-IT-MOVE-IT!" he shouted, trying to shoo the people away. "Remember, you don't hafta go home, but ya can't stay here!"

"That's it! You asked for it!" the red-haired said with her fists clenched, while the panda swiped at her with one massive claw. She managed to dodge the attack. "Well, I still say the whole thing sucks!"

Two more claw-swipes, and two more dodges. The third swipe was intercepted when the girl grabbed the panda's paw right out of the air.

"PICKING MY FIANCE FOR ME WITHOUT EVEN ASKING…!" she shouted, as she displayed an incredible feat of strength by hoisting the bear over her shoulder and right into a nearby street sign.

The battle seemingly concluded, the girl went over and picked up her backpack, panting in exhaustion.

"We're going back to China now," she glowered. "You can stay a panda, for all I care! C'mon, Kenma, get the lead out."

The boy, Kenma, turned to his companion. "So, we're gonna swim back there?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"No, genius, we're takin' the next boat there," the girl shot back.

Kenma gave a deadpan look. "...you got money for a boat?" he asked.

The girl's cocky bravado vanished a few seconds later. "...alright, we'll swim there," she replied, before—

KLANG!

...she had been knocked out cold.

"Have you lost your marbles, old man?" Kenma snapped as the panda hoisted the girl over his shoulders. "You could've killed her!"

The fat panda grumbled back before tossing the girl over his shoulder and walking ahead.

"Just you wait, old man! You'll get yours…" the boy said under his breath as he followed along. For the moment, he would have to bide his time—but he was nothing, if not patient…

TENDO'S MARTIAL ARTS SCHOOL OF INDISCRIMINATE GRAPPLING

One hour ago...

The postman stopped by and gave a few knocks on the door, before coming face-to-face with the man-of-the-house, Soun Tendo. Soun was a man in his mid-40s, with shoulder-length black hair and a mustache, clad in a beige-colored martial arts uniform.

"Mail for you, Mr. Tendo!" the postman said before handing off the postcard. Soun accepted it, and went to the backyard to read it.

Hi.

Bringing the boys from China.

—G. Saotome

Soun's eyes watered as his fingers trembled. It may have been a while since he and Genma last saw each other, but he recognized his old friend's sloppy handwriting.

"Today is the day...Genma is bringing his sons..." he managed to say through his quivering voice. "Oh, how long I've waited for this day...!"

As he lowered the postcard, it became clear that his eyes were flooded with tears of joy. And he knew that he had to get everyone else up to speed on this glorious news!

He glanced up to the ceiling, and began calling out to his daughters. "Listen up! Kasumi! Nabiki! Akane!"

The first one, Kasumi, age 19, was the oldest of the three, and was in the kitchen, turning off the stove while she finished preparing a dish.

Soun poked his head into the kitchen. "Kasumi!"

"Yes, what is it, Father?" she asked in a dutiful manner.

Nabiki was laying down on her bed, feet in the air, while reading a magazine.

"Nabiki." Soun called as he stood by the door.

"Yes, Daddy?" she answered.

Finally, that left just one. But when Soun checked Akane's room, she wasn't there. "Akane?" he asked. "Where is that girl…?"

The girl in question, Akane, age 16, was in the dojo, decked out in a martial arts gi. She had navy blue, shoulder-length hair, with two bangs on each side. She inhaled through her nostrils, steadying her hand, before letting out a "HAAI-YAH!" and chopping two cinder blocks in half, with a small chunk landing at Nabiki's feet.

"Phew!" she exclaimed, wiping her brow. "That felt pretty good!"

Her concentration was thrown off by the light from a flashbulb. "Huh?"

Turns out the Polaroid belonged to Nabiki. "There you go again, Akane..." she said in a chastising tone. "This is exactly the type of thing that makes the boys think you're so weird."

Akane's brow furrowed. "So why should I care, Nabiki?" she asked. "Not everybody thinks the whole WORLD revolves around...BOYS!" She angrily turned her head up.

"No?" asked Nabiki, turning on her heels and walking out of the dojo. "Then I guess this wouldn't interest you."

As she left, Akane peered out the doorway, curious.

TENDO DOJO

2:15 pm

And so, a little while later, all three Tendo daughters were gathered in the main room with their father.

"Fiance?" asked Kasumi.

"Yes," replied Soun. "The sons of a very good friend of mine. Their names are Ranma and Kenma Saotome. If two of you three girls were to marry them and carry on this training hall, then the two schools of Anything-Goes Martial Arts would be joined as one!"

Akane glared. "Hey, wait a minute here! Don't we get to have SOME say in who we're going to marry?" she growled, flames of anger in her eyes.

Nabiki leaned over. "Maybe you should wait until you meet them. You never know, they might be really cute." she told her little sister, who just turned her head away again. "Right, Daddy?"

Soun chuckled warmly. "They'll be here any minute." he said as he stood up. "The boys and their father have been on a training mission. Recently they crossed into China."

"Ooh, China," Nabiki beamed.

Akane couldn't care less. "So they hiked all the way to China; wow, big deal." she remarked dismissively.

"Father, how old are they?" asked Kasumi.

"Are they cute?" asked Nabiki, hopeful.

"Younger men are so...young." Kasumi stated. "Not to mention they aren't very interesting…"

"Well, what kind of guys ARE they?" asked Akane.

Soun laughed for a few minutes, before he turned to face his daughters. "...I don't know." he replied.

Now Nabiki looked pretty miffed. "You don't know…?" she asked.

"I've never met them," Soun admitted sheepishly.

Nabiki and Kasumi stared at their father, whereas Akane was a different story altogether.

Oh, please; I don't believe this! she thought to herself as she scowled.

Suddenly, on the veranda, there were heavy footsteps heard. Along with them were the protests of a female voice, yelling, "Leggo, ya old fool! I told ya, I don't want any part of this! Now put me DOWN!"

"What she said!" a male voice chimed in. "We're not babies anymore, we have our own opinions AND we're able to express them!"

"Oh, my! Sounds like we have visitors," Kasumi said as she stood up.

"Ooh, it must be Ranma and Kenma!" Nabiki remarked as she went outside to check.

"Saotome, my friend!" Soun exclaimed with jollity in his voice as he went to take a look. "We've been waiting!"

"I hope that either of them are older than me…" Kasumi said to herself as she and Akane went to go take a look. But to their surprise, Nabiki and Soun came running back down the hallway, and behind them was the massive panda, accompanied by the fiercely-protesting girl and the boy strolling with them.

"C'mon, Pop! You're scarin' 'em spitless!" the girl protested.

"I guess nobody bothered to teach him the art of tact..." Kenma stated before turning towards the startled family. "Afternoon, Mr. Tendo. My name's Kenma Saotome...the girl on the bear's shoulder would be my...brother, Ranma. And the bear...is our father, Genma. Sorry for the commotion."

"So, this is Mr. Saotome?" asked Kasumi.

Soun rapidly shook his head.

"Oh? Then I suppose this panda just decided to drop by for a visit?" asked Nabiki, her eyebrows arched.

"Young man, if this is some sort of joke, I don't see the punchline," Soun informed Kenma.

"Sir, if you could just get me some hot water, I'd be glad to explain everything," Kenma responded.

"Well...at least you've finally arrived!" Soun exclaimed as Nabiki took a look over her father's shoulder.

"Oooh...they are cute," she smiled, much to Kenma's amazement, making him blush at being called cute by her.

"Who, us?" the boy asked, putting his hands on his rosy cheeks. "Ah, stop! I'm blushing!"

Nabiki gave him a wink, which made him blush even harder.

Soun hugged Ranma to his chest. "I'm so glad you're here!" he beamed. Just then, he felt that something was not right with this situation.

He hugged him a couple more times, then stepped back and saw that the alleged 'boy' was sporting a rather...bountiful bust.

Nabiki leaned in, and began poking Ranma's chest, much to the detriment of the ponytailed one. She then started feeling it with her hand.

"...please stop that..." Ranma insisted, sweating.

Nabiki then turned back towards her father. "...Ranma's not a boy, he's a girl!" she exclaimed.

By now, Soun had broken out in a cold sweat. He felt lightheaded, and the room started spinning around him.

With a cry of shock, he fainted.

TENDO DOJO

3:06 pm

By now, Soun had regained consciousness, but he was lying atop a futon.

"Oh, poor Father...he must be so disappointed," Kasumi said.

"Well, on the bright side, one out of two isn't so bad," Nabiki shrugged as she turned to Kenma. "So Kenma...what sort of man ARE you?"

"Me? Well, I'm a creative sort!" Kenma responded. "I really enjoy drawing cool things in my notebook...and I guess I did see some neat stuff during our trip, so if you wanted, you could check out some of my latest art pieces."

"Oh I'd love for you to whip it out handsome," Nabiki teased with that double entendre.

He took out his notebook from his backpack and showed Nabiki, who took the time to leaf through some of the pages. To her amazement, most of them were incredibly detailed and very well-drawn.

"So you drew all these by yourself?" she asked. Kenma gave a firm nod in response.

"Impressive..." Nabiki mused. "Y'know, Ken, you could make a pretty penny selling quality art like this. In fact, I bet people would wanna pay you to draw things for them!"

"You really think so?" Kenma inquired, his eyes wide.

"Sure. Just stick with me, and we'll go places," Nabiki insisted, the sounds of a cash register going off in her brain. "I know a thing or two about business, trust me."

"Well, okay," Kenma nodded. ""But I wouldn't mind getting to know your other sisters, too. For consistency, of course."

"Fair enough, you ARE a guest, after all." Nabiki replied. First she pointed to the sister in the yellow blouse and apron. "There's the oldest, Kasumi," she gestured to herself. "You already know me, Nabiki," she stated before gesturing to her youngest sister. "And last but maybe not least is Akane."

But Kenma wasn't really paying much attention—in fact, he was staring at Nabiki with a dizzy smile on his face. When he looked at her, everything else seemed to drift totally out of focus.

"...Kenma? Kenma, are you there?" asked Nabiki, her voice coming back into focus. "Hel-looo, Earth to Kenma; is Kenma home?"

"Wha—?" Kenma stammered, coming out of his trance. "Oh! Sorry, I got a little distracted there."

"Gee, I wonder why," Nabiki responded, getting a knowing look on her face. "Perhaps it has something to do with…me?"

"Was I really staring for that long?!" Kenma asked nervously as a few droplets of sweat rolled down his forehead.

"Maybe, maybe not," Nabiki replied. "If you're hoping to get good with any of us, you should know that Akane is the hardest to get on the good side of. Of course, that's not to say I'm easy pickings."

Kenma raised a brow. "Hm…alright. I do like a challenge," he responded. "And you intrigue AND delight me."

"Though I will admit, you're already off to a pretty good start," stated Nabiki.

Kenma grinned. It was clear he liked the sound of that.

TRAINING HALL
3:34 pm

Akane and Ranma were inside the dojo portion of the building, since the former wanted to do a bit of sparring with what she hoped would be a newfound friend.

"You studied kenpo, right?" asked Akane.

"A little…" replied Ranma.

"Well, then let's have a little match, okay?" Akane told her. "C'mon...just for fun."

Both girls stepped to opposite sides of the dojo floor, and Akane took an offensive stance. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you," she said to Ranma.

She lunged at Ranma, throwing a punch that she jumped over. then a kick, which was sidestepped. Then another punch, punch, and another kick-all of which were easily dodged.

"What's wrong? Attack me!" Akane grunted, before throwing another punch, following it up with 2 extra punches.

Why...why am I missing her? Akane asked herself, exhausted. Is she reading my moves?

"Okay, this time for real!" she declared, before letting out a yell and punching a hole in the wall; fortunately, Ranma dodged that as well-she backflipped over Akane's head, and lightly tapped her on the back of her head.

Ranma couldn't help but chuckle, and soon, Akane joined in on the laughter.

"You're pretty good," she beamed as she strolled around the room. "I'm just glad that you're a girl."

Ranma looked a bit confused.

"It's just that...I couldn't stand losing to a boy!" Akane stated as she walked out of the dojo, leaving Ranma alone with her thoughts.

The panda bear entered the bathroom, turned on the faucet for the tub, and when it was filled up, he climbed in and made himself comfortable.

An hour later, the sun was now setting, and Soun was sitting across from Genma, who was in human form again. As a human, he didn't look much different from his panda form. He still had the same physique, but he wore glasses, a bandana around his head, and a martial arts uniform.

"So that's what happened..." muttered Soun, his face streaked with tears.

Genma nodded, his face also tear-streaked. What these two were crying about, I have no idea, but knowing them? It was probably something stupid.

"The path of a true martial artist is fraught with perils..." Soun recited, turning his head towards the setting sun.

As they talked, Nabiki and Kenma walked by, the former having her arm draped around Kenma's shoulder.

"So, I was thinking, and I said to myself, 'Self, I think Kenma would like to make a few bucks'," Nabiki explained. "And you could do that by letting me buy your panda off you."

"Really?" Kenma asked, scratching his chin. Sure, Genma was his father, but he'd been doing an extremely shitty job of it for quite a while now. "...how much are you willing to pay for him?"

"¥800," Nabiki responded.

"Whoa, that much?" Kenma asked. "Hmm...why?"

"You might've noticed that despite being a martial arts dojo, we aren't exactly awash with customers," Nabiki explained. "Ever since Mom died, Daddy just doesn't have the same spark for martial arts as before. So the students stopped coming, leaving us with two options: either turn the spare area into rooms for rent, or lure people in with a gimmick and then charge them admission. And 'dancing panda' screams 'money-maker' to me through a megaphone."

"Good point," Kenma had to admit.

Upstairs, Kasumi carried an armful of freshly folded towels while Ranma headed up behind her. She then pulled a door open, revealing a nice, spacious guest room. For Ranma, that may as well have been a dream come true. Anything that got her out of having to share with her father, who snored like a chainsaw, was MORE than okay!

"Wow! It looks great!" remarked Ranma.

"Feel free to use this room," Kasumi informed her guest. "Would you like to freshen up and take a bath?"

Now Ranma was a little hesitant. "Uh... no thanks." she replied.

But Kasumi insisted. "You've been exercising quite a bit, haven't you?" she asked in a stern, almost parental, tone of voice.

Ranma looked down like she'd just been scolded by her mother. "...yes..." she admitted.

"By the way, who exactly is that strange man in the living room?" asked Nabiki.

"...sad to say, that would be my father," Kenma replied. "He's a shmuck, a cheat, a two-timin' flim-flammer, and a creep. I just don't know WHAT it was that Mom saw in such a lowlife!"

"So, what was she like?" inquired Nabiki.

"...I wouldn't quite know," Kenma said. "Ranma and I haven't seen her since we were babies, because that's when 'Dear old Dad' spirited us off on our training journey."

"At least your mom's still out there," Nabiki replied, her nonchalant tone contrasting the quiet longing in her heart. "That means there's at least a chance of seeing her again."

"...thanks," Kenma smiled. "That, at least, makes it a little better."

Up in the bathroom, Ranma finished filling a bucket with water from the bathtub's faucet, before she shut it off and dumped its contents over her head. Once the liquid made contact, she let out an all-over shudder.

"...hooh, that is COLD!" she exclaimed.

As she was in there, she didn't quite notice that Akane was coming into the restroom as well. Noticing the discarded clothes in the hamper, Akane smiled a little.

"I guess she's already in there," she commented. "So we can BOTH take our baths!"

Akane undid her hair bow, while Ranma continued to bob above the bathwater, lost in thought.

What am I gonna do? he pondered to himself. Here, these people had been expecting two boys, but they ended up with a boy and a girl. Imagine how they'd react upon seeing what happened to him!

Akane, meanwhile, continued stripping down by removing her gi's top half.

They're bound to find out the truth sooner or later, Ranma thought. Maybe I oughta bite the bullet and let them know the truth.

Now Akane was fully nude, and clutching a towel to her chest, she reached for the door and grabbed the handle.

Well...I might as well go out like I am, Ranma decided, his hair now looking a much darker shade. He stood up in the bath...right as Akane opened the door.

For one long minute, no words were traded. Akane only took a look at Ranma, and then quietly closed the door before stepping out of the restroom.

And then, she let out a loud, ear-piercing scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHH!"

Genma and Soun were downstairs, both clutching frothy mugs of beer when they heard Akane's scream of fright.

Nabiki, Kasumi, and Kenma were in the kitchen, when they heard the scream, which grew louder before Akane came running downstairs, came into the living room, grabbed the end table, and hoisted it over her head.

"I'LL DROWN HIM IN THE BATHTUB!" she ranted. "I'LL BEAT HIM TO A PULP!"

"Akane?" asked Kasumi, remaining stunningly calm despite the circumstances. "What are you doing with that end table?"

"There's a pervert in the BATHROOM!" retorted Akane.

"Well, gee, Akane, why didn'cha just clobber him?" Nabiki queried.

"Because I got SCARED! Is that alright?" Akane spat.

"...what did this guy look like?" inquired Kenma.

"Blue eyes, dark hair," Akane responded. "I didn't exactly get to focus before I backed out of the bathroom."

Kenma sighed, before rolling his eyes. "Well, looks like you just met my brother," he replied.

A look of confusion spread across Akane's face. "'Brother'?" she blurted, incredulously. "I know that was a girl when she came here!"

But before any further chatter could be spared, someone was heard clearing their throat in an attempt to be heard.

"'Scuse me."

Everyone turned towards the voice, even Kenma, who smiled a bit. "Nice of you to join us, brother." he commented.

"...I'm Ranma Saotome," the young, dark-haired man spoke up. "Sorry about this."

"That's him! That's the stinkin' pervert!" Akane claimed.

"Boy, there's no need to be so eager!" Genma chided. "You'll get to choose in your own time!"

"Akane, are you thinking of running a deli counter?" asked Kenma. "If not, WHY ARE YOU TRYIN' TO PUSH A LOAD OF BALONEY ON ME?! RANMA WOULD NEVER BE PERVERTED! NO-WAY-NO-HOW!"

"Alright, what's this all about?" Soun asked as he walked back inside from the porch.

"Your friend's son is a total pervert!" Akane shouted. "I came into the bathroom, and he was naked!"

"How is it my fault you were stupid enough to not bother KNOCKING ON THE DOOR?!" Ranma shot back.

"Who are you calling stupid?!" the tomboy fumed.

"Gee, I dunno, check a mirror sometime!" Ranma remarked.

"Well, I can see there's only one way to settle this dispute," mused Genma. "A court hearing!"

"A court hearing?!" Soun exclaimed. "Saotome, this isn't daytime television! We could just ask them to recollect what happened…"

"Nope, court hearing is the only reasonable answer!" Genma declared, crossing his arms firmly. "Not gonna budge one inch on that!"

"Very well, then…" the Tendo patriarch sighed. "Since this is my house, I'll serve as the judge."

"And I will be the attorney!" Kenma exclaimed before he changed into a suit. "Kenma Saotome: Attorney at Law, re-presenting!"

AND SO…

TENDO DOJO
5:04 PM

"Please rise. The Court of the Tendo Dojo is now in session, the Honorable Judge Soun Tendo presiding," said Kasumi.

Everyone in the room stood up as Soun, who was now dressed in a black gown and a powdered wig, walked into the room and stood at the podium.

"Everyone but the jury may be seated," said Soun.

And so, Ranma, Kenma, Akane and Nabiki sat down.

"Your Honor, today's case is Ranma v. Akane," said Kasumi.

"Of course…" nodded Soun. "Is the prosecution ready?"

"As we'll ever be," responded Kenma, popping up at the side. "Now, your honor, members of the jury, today I intend to prove that my client, Ranma Saotome, is NOT a 'pervert' as Miss Tendo so loudly claims."

"Only 'cause it's true!" snapped Akane.

"Ahp-bap-bup!" Kenma said. "I'll ask you to leave your prejudices at the door—they have no place in the courtroom."

"Please, Akane. Try to compose yourself." Soun instructed. "Now, I'd like to call the defendant to the stand."

"Huh?" Ranma looked before remembering. "Oh, that's me." he said before walking up to the stand.

"Please, raise your right hand," said Kasumi, presenting a bible. Ranma did so and put his left hand on the bible. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I do," replied Ranma, and then he went to the stand and sat down.

"Now, Mr. Saotome…" Kenma began as he went to his brother. "Is it true that when Akane came in on you, she did not knock?"

"No, she didn't." Ranma answered plainly.

Kenma nodded. "Ah, I see. Now…Miss Tendo, you are aware that you live with three other people, correct?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm well aware of that." Akane answered.

"And on the day in question, did you enter the bathroom without knocking?" inquired Kenma.

"Well…no, I didn't knock." the tomboy answered, realizing that she was in the wrong.

"So…you called Ranma a pervert, despite the fact YOU entered without knocking, and the fact YOU were looking at HIS nude body?" Kenma asked. "Now, does anyone else see what's wrong with this picture?"

Everyone on the jury nodded.

"No further questions, Your Honor," smirked Kenma.

After Kenma walked back to the bench, Nabiki walked up to the stand, dressed in a black pantsuit and matching heels. [Note to co-writer: any chance we get, we gotta have this outfit make a comeback.]

Kenma tugged at his collar and swore under his breath at the sight.

"Alright, Mr. Saotome. Could you give me a description of the events that took place?" asked Nabiki.

"Yes," replied Ranma. "After Kasumi told me to go take a shower, I did…and as I was getting out, Akane opened the door."

"Ok, and that's everything that happened?" she asked again.

"Then after she looked at me, she shut the door, and screamed her lungs out."

"I see." Nabiki noted. "I understand that you also have another side of yourself. A female side?"

Ranma looked like he was being asked if he'd taken drugs. "...yes, that is true…" he replied, mortified.

"Could explain to everyone how that happened?" the middle Tendo sister requested.

Before Ranma could speak up, Genma leapt to his feet. "I think I can answer THAT!" he declared.

Well, this ought to be interesting, Nabiki thought to herself.

And then Genma picked Ranma up, and hurled him out the window, right into the koi pond with a SPLASH!

As the wave died down, the Tendos got a good view of the now-female Ranma; red hair, a bit of purple eyeshadow, and somewhat larger eyes.

"WHAT'DJA DO THAT FOR?!" she shouted.

"Ranma's a...girl now," Kasumi commented.

"I am so ashamed...I cannot bear to see one of my sons like this..." Genma said, clenching his fists in a melodramatic manner as he started to tear up. "Ranma Saotome...your father is in agony!"

Of course, he didn't notice Ranma jumping behind him, right before she kicked him into the koi pond. A few seconds later, the giant panda from earlier rose from the water, sopping wet.

"Well, I can't bear to see YOU like that either, old man!" Kenma laughed at his own bad joke. "Attagirl, Ranma! He can't fool us with those crocodile tears!"

"Like you're in any position to talk about em-bear-assments!" Ranma snapped at the panda.

Nabiki's eyes went wide, and they started to sparkle. "PANDA!" she exclaimed, racing over and grabbing Genma in a bear-hug. "Who's gonna keep us outta the poorhouse? You are! Yes you are~! Yes, you are~!"

"Father...you certainly have some unusual friends," Kasumi noted, watching the argument. It was akin to watching a car crash; you wanted to look away, but you felt tempted to see how things played out.

"They weren't always like this," Soun responded. "I myself have yet to hear the whole story. Their unusual physiques seem somehow related to their dangerous training in China. Before we go any further, we'll give them a few moments to come back to themselves."

"So I guess the court is adjourned?" Kenma asked.

"I suppose so..." Soun said as he took off his powdered wig. "This wig was getting awfully itchy."

"Then I win!" Kenma whooped. "Yeah! Phoenix Wright? More like 'Fail-nix Wrong'! Perry Mason? Never heard of 'im! Matlock? Get outta here!"

As Nabiki watched the scuffle, visions of Yen signs appeared above her head. So, not only does this panda dance, it fights, too! Oh, I am going to be LOADED for a month after this...

"Kenma~!" she called. "Remember when I said I'd pay ¥800 for your panda? Well...I might be willing to pay mo-ore~!"

TIME—8:05 PM

Soon afterwards, Genma and Ranma were back to their normal forms.

"It all began two weeks ago," Genma explained. "In order to continue our warrior's conditioning, my sons and I crossed to China to find a new training place. It was in China's Mt. Quanjing region, in the Bayankala Range, Qinghai Province, that we finally found the legendary training grounds of Jusenkyo."

FLASHBACK
[The one that started it all!]

A somewhat paunchy Chinese man in a brown coat and hat gestured towards the area. "Here, sirs. We come to famous Training Ground of Cursed Springs, Jusenkyo." he said, while holding up a sign.

"Uh, Dad, are you sure it's a good idea training at a place with 'Cursed' in the name?" asked Kenma. "That seems like we're asking for trouble."

Genma waved his son's concerns off. "Don't be so whiny, Kenma. That's probably there to scare off unworthy cowards, not like yours truly!" he responded.

"OK..." Kenma shrugged as he sat as far from the water as he could. "You two have fun, jumping around on bamboo poles up there. I'm just gonna be...over here, with my notebook, nice and dry."

"You very strange ones, sirs," said the tour guide. "This place VERY dangerous! No-one use it now, cuz more than one hundred spring here, and each one have own tragedy happen there!"

"Which is PLENTY of incentive for me to stay out of them," Kenma responded as he got out a pencil and began drawing, while Ranma and Genma began sparring.

Soon, Ranma knocked Genma off the bamboo pole and into the water!

"Hey, Pop! Ya done already?" called Ranma. To his surprise, out of the water came not Genma, but a tremendous panda wearing his jacket! And judging from how easily he stood atop the bamboo pole, this panda was very good at balancing.

"What the-?!" exclaimed Ranma and Kenma, both boys equally shocked.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" shouted Ranma.

"That Xióngmāoneechuan," explained the tour guide as he held up a sign. "Spring of Drowned Panda. Very-tragic legend of panda who drown 2,000 year ago. Now whoever fall in take body of panda!"

Ranma glared at the tour guide. "Hey, you never mentioned anything about THIS!" he spat.

"Actually, yes, he did!" Kenma called up, right before Panda-Genma leapt at Ranma, and with one fierce punch, knocked the boy flying right into another spring.

"Smooth move, Dad," Kenma remarked. "You better hope he's okay, or it'll be YOUR head on the choppin' block." he got to his feet and went over to see if Ranma was okay. However, to his surprise, instead of his brother, a very attractive young woman with wide blue eyes and red hair emerged from the water.

"Ah, now you fall Nannichuan: Spring of Drowned Girl," said the tour guide. "There, very tragic legend of young girl who drown 1,500 year ago. Now, whoever fall in spring..."

"OK, sir, I think we get it," Kenma said. "...Ranma? Is that YOU?!"

"Of course it is...I think," Ranma responded, before she looked down and saw that her gi was filled out by a very bountiful chest. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Aaaah, is right!" Kenma responded. "...of all the things to get turned into, WHY did my own brother have to turn into something so breathtaking?!"

END of FLASHBACK.

Ranma was still seething over the events that they'd just retold, and his hands quivered with quiet rage.

"So, the Legendary Ground of Cursed Springs..." Soun mused. "Its true horror has remained a secret until now..."

"Whaddya MEAN, 'true horror'?!" Ranma shouted angrily, before he rounded on Genma. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, OLD MAN! What kinda moron thinks it's a good idea to bring their sons to a cursed spring?!"

"I did mention it had 'Cursed' in the name," Kenma spoke up.

"...YOU SOUND LIKE A GIRL!" Genma shouted as he grabbed Ranma and flung him into the pond AGAIN. "Were you not prepared to give your LIFE for the sake of the training?!"

"My life, maybe..." Ranma seethed. "MY MANHOOD IS ANOTHER STORY!"

And she dumped an entire bucket of water on Genma's head, turning him into his panda form. Genma growled and got into a fighting stance.

"You just HAD to go and find that cursed spring even though you don't speak a WORD of Chinese!" Ranma yelled.

"It wouldn't have killed you to get that translation guide!" Kenma chimed in, as the girl and panda started grappling. "Were ya BORN an idiot, or did you have to practice to get really good at it?!"

"How I suffer for you..." Soun said, holding up a tea kettle, and dumping its scalding contents on Genma's head. "When doused with hot water, you return to human form!"

"That's as human as he's ever gonna get," Kenma remarked, seeing Genma, back in his human form.

"...it needn't be that hot..." the fat man groaned.

"When doused with cold water, you become a girl..." said Soun, leaning over with the teakettle and getting ready to dump it on Ranma's head. The girl instinctively leapt out of the way to avoid the burning liquid. "But when doused with hot water, you return to male form!"

"Hot, not SCALDING!" Ranma protested. "Are you tryin' to boil me alive?!"

"And you, Kenma?" asked Soun. "Were you cursed as well?"

"What? No!" Kenma insisted. [Well, not yet, as we know with hindsight] "I was on the side, watching!"

Soun gave a little laugh. "Well, now...your problem isn't so terrible after all," he smiled. "My eldest daughter, Kasumi. She's 19. The middle child, Nabiki. She's 17. And, last but not least, Akane. She's 16."

Kenma scratched his chin. "Three great choices. But which of them will I settle on—Nabiki."

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey, I had to make that change. Having Kenma crushing on Akane ranks among my greatest shames as a writer, and it needed to be rectified. No excuses from us. We throw ourselves completely at the mercy of our readerbase, in their infinite benevolence.]

"Me? I'm flattered," Nabiki commented. "Here I thought you'd go for someone like Kasumi or Akane."

"Kasumi, maybe," said Kenma. "But Akane? Fooor-get it!"

"Hey! Why should I marry him?!" Akane blurted. "He's probably a pervert like his brother!"

"I don't hafta just sit here and take these egregious accusations!" Kenma declared. "My brother's a real stand-up sorta guy, and that goes for me too!"

"What about that incident in China?" asked Ranma.

"In my defense, how was I supposed to know that girl's boyfriend was part of a local gang?" Kenma fired back. "They don't exactly advertise that sorta thing!"

"See?" Akane fumed before turning to Ranma. "Besides, you saw me in the nude, you lech."

"You were the one who walked in on ME!" Ranma retorted. "Ever heard of knocking before entering?"

"Didn't we have this conversation already?" Kasumi asked, sounding a little tired.

[DIRECTOR'S NOTE: Willow Johnson was brought in last week to re-record for this one, so you can't help notice the difference. She mentioned a few times she was getting kind of tired of the usual bickering…and we can't say we blame her.]

"Yeah, but it's different when a girl looks at a boy!" Akane protested.

Nabiki put her hand on Akane's shoulder. "Sis…just accept you lost," she said.

"No way! Especially not to a boy!" Akane snapped. "Let alone some perv who probably touches himself in his girl form!"

"Alright, now you're just beggin' for it!" Ranma said while clenching her fists.

"Begging? Do I look like a dog to you?!" Akane snapped, getting her dukes up.

"From the way you've been acting, you seem like a total BITCH!" spat Ranma.

"THAT IS ENOUGH!" bellowed Soun, rattling the entire room.

"But Dad, you heard what he called me!" the tomboy said.

"I am not saying he is blameless," said Soun. "But you were quite welcoming, until you found out his true form."

"Yeah," snorted Ranma. "So much for 'wanting to be friends'. Guess that was a complete load of crap too, eh?"

The Tendo patriarch sighed. "Look, Akane. I think you should at least give Ranma a fair chance."

"No offense, Dad, but I'd sooner give a chance to boiled brussels sprouts and creamed spinach!" Akane remarked.**

"And Ranma, I think you should award Akane that same chance." said Soun.

"With all due respect, Mr. Tendo. I think it's a waste of time to try and get along with someone who thinks I'm scum." the ponytailed boy stated.

"Don't be so fickle, boy!" Genma insisted, trying to salvage things. "After all, as the heir to the Anything-Goes school, you have a duty to choose a fiancée!"

"Says who?" asked Ranma.

"Says ME—your father!" Genma shot back.

"I don't wanna marry EITHER of you!" Akane shouted.

"Fine by me!" Ranma said. "C'mon, Ken; we're gonna catch a ride back to China."

"Alright," said Kenma, kissing Nabiki's hand. "Until we meet again, I'll think of you."

"Not a chance!" declared Genma, standing in the way.

"Think we can take him?" Kenma asked his older brother.

"Without a doubt!" Ranma answered before looking back at Akane. "By the way…I noticed you got a pretty look at me, too," she commented. "So what's the big deal about seeing a naked girl? I've seen myself naked plenty of times…and I'm better built, to boot! Even as a guy, I've got more style than you."

As she laughed, Akane picked up the table and slammed it on Ranma's head, prompting Kenma to get out of the way.

WHAMMO!

"...now that he had coming," Genma muttered.

9:53 pm

A while later, Ranma regained consciousness, finding herself on the futon of her guest room. There was a cold compress on her forehead, thanks to Kasumi.

"Oh, good, you're awake," smiled the young woman. "Are you okay? Don't think too badly of Akane. She's a very sweet girl, she's just a violent maniac, too."

Nabiki's face became its usual deadpan expression. "Oh, good, Kasumi. That explains SO much." she retorted.

"Nice to see you're still among the living." Kenma commented.

"You kidding? I'm Ranma Saotome," the redhead responded. "And the last thing that's gonna kill me is some uncute tomboy with all the charm of a warthog!"

"Yup, you're definitely as spirited as always," Kenma said with a knowing smirk. "But I guess it's just too much for that Akane girl to handle. So it's HER loss."

"No kiddin'," Ranma retorted. "She can dish it out, but she can't take it. And to think, after I beat her in sparring, she actually said she wanted to be friends with me."

"Really?" asked Kenma.

Ranma nodded. "But I guess that didn't mean a damn thing after she found out who I really am." she fumed.

"Yeah?" Kenma asked, before he furrowed his brows. "Well...who needs her?! Ya already got somebody else out there!"

"I toldja already, Ukyo's a boy," said Ranma. "PLUS, we're just friends."

(As if we'd leave out my hinting at Ranma/Ukyo. They're our favorite couple!)

"Uh-huh, suuuure," Kenma replied dryly. "We'll cross that bridge once we get to it."

"Yeah, yeah! Whatever you say, Ken." Ranma said as she grabbed a towel on some fresh clothes. "Anyways, I'm gonna go take a shower," she announced before heading downstairs.

Akane was in the bathtub, angrily scrubbing away at herself.

Ugh! The nerve of those...those BOYS! she thought furiously as she lathered the soap onto herself.

She was so lost in her thoughts of anger that she didn't hear Ranma knocking on the door a few times.

"Nobody answered…so it must be empty." he decided with a shrug before he went into the restroom. As soon as he got in, he started to undress.

To think this had to happen to me. Just once I'd like to have a say in something, is that really too much to ask? she thought to herself as she got her pants off.

Of course, when she opened the door, she came face to face with Akane…who, may I remind you, was still absolutely livid with rage.

And here, before her, stood the target of her anger.

"...uh-oh…" gulped Ranma.

"You…!" Akane fumed, her face turning red. "You…!"

POW!

And so…

TENDO DOJO
10:06 PM

Akane was angrily sipping tea at the table, while Nabiki was nearby.

"But you were both girls at the time," said the short-haired brunette. "That makes it okay, yeah?"

"No, Nabiki, it is NOT okay!" Akane hissed.

Ranma sat outside on the porch, nursing a black eye, and a swollen cheek.

"So she's got some spunk to her," said Genma. "That just makes a fiancee even cuter!"

"...were you dropped on your head when you were little?" Kenma asked.

"Well, he did knock five times, " Nabiki said. "It's not his fault you weren't listening."

"Hey, yeah!" Kenma smiled. "If anything, it's YOUR fault for not paying attention!"

"Oh, so that excuses you walking in on me in the bathroom?" Akane asked, glaring. "You just proved me wrong. You ARE a pervert!"

"Please! If I were a pervert, I would've jumped into the tub and started groping you right then and there!" the ponytailed boy said in his defense.

"Phew! Boy, did I ever dodge a bullet by choosing Nabiki!" Kenma said as he wiped the sweat from his brow, and glanced at the short-haired beauty. "It feels like the universe itself wanted me to make that decision."

Well, I wouldn't say the universe…but close enough.

*—Yes, Brigitta Dau came back to re-record her old lines, as did everyone else.

* *—That line was salvaged from an old version of the script we wrote for when we intended to air the series in syndication.

Hopefully you enjoyed this Extended Cut of the very first episode. Some changes were ones we intended to make later on, but didn't think of earlier.