A disclaimer is a statement, document, or assertion that limits liability or disclaims responsibility or affiliation.

We don't claim anything to do with Harry Potter or the Addams' Family. We make no profit on this.

What is original is this idea and version of Hermione Addams that we have imagined up. BUT; ALL her actions are her own. We claim no responsibility for the destruction she may wrought on the world, muggle, wizard or other.

This is for entertainment purposes only.

Read at your own risk.

Notes:

This is written by both: Alphawhitefox and zSpirall (previously known as zeroSpiral) and cross posted on A03. If you see it anywhere else, it is there without our permission.

Alright, so maybe, just a tiny bit i got obsessed with Wednesday( the tv show, i guess also the character, not the point), and maybe maybe i was a bit upset that all Harry Potter and Addams family crossover are about harry being an Addams when my favourite character is Hermione, so maybe i did present this idea to a friend and heavens know why she supported this idea so...

Here we are, happy reading!

Chapter 1: The pale family

When Hagrid gave him his ticket for the train, and told him he would need it, the man certainly forgot to tell him how to get to platform nine and three quarters.

Seeing his uncle wave at him with glee practically skipping towards the exit, saying "See you next summer.",after they couldn't find the platform, made Harry feel like Dudley punched him in the stomach whilst his friends held him down so he couldn't escape.

He sat dejected on his school trunk, Hedwig's cage by his side with the owl hooting softly trying to soothe him.

"HOGWARTS TISH, can you imagine? Oh I am so proud of you, my little basilisk."

"Thank you father, although I'm sure you are more excited about the train."

"HA you are way too clever, mi cariño."

'Hogwarts?' Harry turned his head sharply towards the weirdest group of people he had ever seen. He never thought he would see people so pale that his very pale complexion, from being locked inside his cupboard, would look tanned. There was a squat man in a striped suit, a ridiculous mustache and way too much energy, he spun around to grasp the hand of the most beautiful woman Harry has ever seen, with silky black hair falling on her back like a river running its course towards the sea and a skin-tight black dress. The man kisses her knuckles whispering sweet nothings against her hand and looks at her like she hung the moon, the woman smiles and caresses his cheek making him absolutely beam at her, Harry had never seen someone that looked like they were about to throw themselves at the feet of somebody and literally worship the ground this person stood on.

"You are making me gag, do refrain from your ridiculous necessity to be all over each other every single second of every single day." A girl with two braids in her hair, looking half dead, says at the couple so emotionlessly that it almost gives Harry whiplash.

The man turned and bounced in his infinite energy towards the girl, lamenting "Ay my little tormenta, always so sharp, like a knife right through the heart, i can't help it, your mother must be adored, for living without her eyes upon me is like being drowned in a puddle, so close to air and yet unable to breathe. Your sister seems to understand."

From the throngs of people milling around the station another girl appeared with her face buried in a book, the crowd parting itself for her like the red sea. They seemed to be doing it unconsciously because nobody showed any sign of noticing her. Just like her family she had inky jet black hair, unlike the rest of her family though, her hair was a wild mane full of curls that fell in ringlets down her back. Behind her trailed a pudgy boy that looked like the younger version of the man with infinite energy.

"Her sister has better things to do than listening to your rumbling about mother daily, Wednesday is right, you guys are nauseating." The girl lowered the book to glare at her father who just smiled back at her like she didn't just insult him and his wife. If Harry said anything remotely close to that to the Dursleys, he would be a dead Harry.

"Right, Pugsley, it says here that to access the platform you need to run to the wall between platforms nine and eight."

The boy seemed to perk up and immediately bolted towards the pillar between the two platforms with no hesitation, Harry watched eager to see something magical happening, only for Pugsley to hit the wall face first and bounce back sprawling on the ground with a pained groan. Something akin to amusement seemed to lit up on both girls' eyes even when their faces continued to show no emotion beyond a tiny cruel smirk, the woman chuckled indulgently to her children while the man couldn't help but laugh out loud even whilst he helped the boy to get up.

"They got you good old pal, you know better than to listen to your sister blindly." He chuckled.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my mistake, it's platforms 9 and 10."

The girl with the wild hair closed her book and as she held it by her side, Harry could finally see the title in gold letters, 'Hogwarts a History.'. He thought about approaching the kooky family but the appearance of an incredibly tall man distracted him. He was the closest definition of Frankenstein Harry has ever seen, at least seven feet tall, he only lacked the iron rods on the side of his neck. The behemoth of a man was comically crumpled behind a trolley much like his own, a black leather trunk with the initials H.A. engraved in silver, a chest much like the same as the trunk except it had a locket with no key hole on top of it, and a bird cage resting in front of the chest that was empty.

"Now would you look at the time, let's get our little lightning bolt onto the train.". The father had his pocket watch that looked more valuable than the Dursleys' house with everything in it, on his hand, uncle Vernon would turn purple in envy, he would do anything to have something valuable like that, the rest of the family nodded and the Frankenstein man groaned.

"Alas, I can't wait to get rid of all of you, your unnecessary level of PDA is distressing, no wonder Pugsley is so weak, at least Wednesday came out right, I guess sometimes two wrongs do make a right." The wild hair girl said walking through a wall, followed closely by her sister, they were so scarily similar that they almost looked like twins, Harry startled and looked around to check if nobody saw them walking through the walls, something was telling him that muggles weren't supposed to see magic, his musings were interrupted when he heard the boy, Pugsley, cry, "Wait for me!" whilst diving after the tall man who pushed the cart after the girls.

"After you, cara mia." Said the man kissing his wife's knuckles reverently, both of them elegantly disappearing through the wall shortly after. Taking a big breath and closing his eyes tight, Harry decided that they were his best chances to reach the platform and even though he was terrified he ran towards the wall.