Chapter Ten

30/06/2019. 11:38 hours. Spencer Reid's Apartment, Capital Plaza Apartments, Virginia.

Spencer was immensely grateful to be home, yet he was unable to clear the feel of being so completely and utterly exhausted. He dragged his weary form to the lounge with a luke-warm mug of coffee in his hand and dropped heavily onto his brown leather sofa with a sigh. He stifled a groan as a jolt of pain shot through his lower back. His cell phone pinged on the dark wooden coffee table in front of him. He picked it up and glanced at the screen. He had several missed calls and text messages from the team. He threw it back down onto the coffee table with a clatter. Could the team not accept that he wanted to be alone? An itch under the bandages on his left wrist attracted his attention. He set his mug down on the table as his mind went blank. He knew he was dissociating. He picked at the tape securing the bandage to his wrist and unravelled the off-white linen. The bandage came loose and fell away, fluttering with ease to the wooden floor. He stared at the neat sutures holding the cuts together from the handcuffs. He scratched numbly at the cuts, barely feeling the sting and the tug against the sutures.

The itch beneath his skin seemed to heighten, and Spencer scratched harder, red welts left in place. Yet, his scratching did nothing to appease the crawling sensation up his arm. It was the sutures. It had to be. Spencer quickly came to his feet and padded through to his bathroom with a sense of urgency. He would have to fix the issue. He rummaged through the medicine cabinet above the wash basin, ignoring his reflection in the mirror. Ignoring the bruising that had begun to melt into shades of lighter purple. His fingertips brushed the first aid kit nestled at the back of the cabinet. He tugged it out, sending bottles of medication and toiletries scattering into the sink with a clatter. He reached into the cabinet once more, fumbling for his razors. He too easily pried apart one of his razors, slipping the blade out. He leaned back against the tiled wall, eyes transfixed on the blade in his hand, the silver a stark contrast against the raised pink scar in the centre of his palm. He slid down the wall until he was in a seated position on the cool floor and crossed his legs underneath him. He set the first aid kit down on the floor next to his knee. With the pointed tip of the blade, Spencer picked at the sutures until the cuts sprung open. They stung, but they did nothing to satiate the ache in his heart. He dragged the edge of the blade against the cuts, opening them up further. He gasped at the sweet release the pain gave him. He watched in amazement at the blood oozing out of the wounds. It felt good. He deserved to feel the pain. The high he felt in that moment was better than any dose of dilaudid. He moved the blade further along his arm and dragged it across, deeper than anticipated, but feeling good all the same. Blood beaded up against the blade. He could see the underlying tissues through the cut but that did not phase him. In fact, it thrilled him.

Spencer rested his head back against the wall, eyes closed in pure bliss and his bloodied arm stretched out over his knee. He could barely feel the blood soaking through the plaid fabric of his pyjama bottoms. He was so lost in his high that he did not hear the banging on his apartment door, or the yells for him to open up. He heard nothing as the door crashed open, frame splintering. A pair of hands tightly gripped his shoulders and shook him. Spencer's eyes snapped open to see Matt and Luke in his bathroom. He narrowed his gaze at the pair, a small growl emitting from his throat.

"What are you doing here?" hissed Spencer, his usual soft, hazel eyes blackening with anger.

"Reid? You haven't been answering our calls or messages. We had to come to see if you're okay," responded Luke. Matt grabbed a blue hand towel from the rail to the left of Spencer's head and pressed it firmly over the wounds that continued to ooze ruby liquid.

"Maybe, just fucking maybe, I wanted to be alone!" Luke's stomach lurched at the sound of the genius swearing. It was uncharacteristic.

"Reid? This is not healthy, man!" Matt's face tightened into a grimace as he peeled the towel away from the wounds that refused to clot.

"These need stitches. We need to get him to a hospital," said Matt. Spencer glared at him.

"I'm not fucking going anywhere! Just leave me alone."

"No, Spencer. You're going to the hospital," answered Luke. Spencer tore himself away from both men and launched himself to his feet. He ripped his arm away from Matt's grip and stumbled, his head spinning with blood loss.

"You're not taking me anywhere," snarled Spencer, his eyes glinting with rage.

"Spencer? These need treatment. You're going to pass out with the blood loss," said Matt, desperately trying to placate the young man, his hands raised. Luke sighed. He had one bullet left in his arsenal and he hoped that he would not have to use it. Spencer was visibly snarling, hands clenched into fists. Luke slipped the handcuffs from the pouch on the back of his belt. As soon as Spencer spotted the cuffs in his colleague's hand, his face reddened with anger.

"You wouldn't fucking dare."

"Spencer, you are going to the hospital, even if it's in custody." Spencer spat at Luke's feet.

"I'd like to see you try." Spencer threw a punch at Luke which was easily dodged. Luke grabbed his uninjured wrist and pulled it behind Spencer, twisting it up his back, and shoving the doctor face first into the wall. Spencer screamed out in frustration and pain. Matt quickly bandaged Spencer's left arm. Spencer struggled against Luke's hold, his cheek pressed into the tiles.

"Let me go!"

"No, Reid. Don't make me do this." A deranged laugh erupted from Spencer's throat. Luke held the handcuffs out to Matt. It ripped open the Asian man's heart to close one of the cuffs around his friend's wrist. Spencer's laugh continued as Luke wrenched the genius' right arm down. The cuffs were latched firmly around Spencer's wrists behind his back. Spencer turned on his heel and stared at Matt and Luke in defiance. Each men grabbed Spencer's biceps and led him out of the bathroom.

30/06/2019. 13:03 hours. In a Government-issue SUV on route to Bethesda General Hospital, Virginia.

The silence in the SUV was stifling. Spencer had been strapped into the back seat with his cuffed hands behind him and he stared stonily at Matt and Luke. He was visibly simmering with rage. He brushed his bare toes against the rough carpet at his feet. His arm throbbed with each pulse. He watched as Luke steered the car into the parking lot of the hospital. He pulled against the handcuffs.

"Release me, you bastards!" Matt glanced over his shoulder from the passenger seat, dark eyes soft with pity. "Release me!" Spencer slammed the side of his head hard into the window. The thud startled the pair in front of him. He continued to smash his head against the window. Blood seeped from his hairline and down his face.

"Reid! Stop!" Matt quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and clambered between the seats into the back. He firmly grabbed Spencer's jaw and pinned his head back against the head rest. Luke found a bay and stopped the car, putting it into park. Spencer was desperately trying to wrench his face away and bite Matt's hand.

"Spencer! Stop this! You're going to hurt yourself!" demanded Matt.

"Maybe that's what I want," sneered Spencer. "Let me go."

"This isn't the way to cope with what happened," said Matt.

"How the fuck would you know? You weren't raped by three different men and then subjected to a death sentence for doing your job! Maybe I deserve to feel the pain!" Luke turned back and offered Matt a forlorn expression. Their friend, their brother was too far gone.

"I'm going to go on in and let them know that they have a violent and suicidal patient. Do you think you can handle him for a few minutes?" asked Luke. Matt nodded grimly. Luke slipped out of the driver's side of the car and closed the door behind him. Matt watched Luke's figure disappear across the parking lot towards the hospital. Matt turned back to Spencer who stared at him, a rare hatred in his hazel pools, breaths leaving his broken nose in whistles.

Matt was still pinning Spencer to the headrest by his jaw when the SUV was approached by several staff with a gurney. He instantly noticed the six-point restraint system in place on the gurney. Luke opened the rear door where the pair were seated. Spencer rolled his eyes to the side and noticed that two of the nurses were large, heavily-built men. Matt unbuckled Spencer's seatbelt. Spencer watched the nurses warily as he slid off the seat, his bare feet against the burning hot asphalt as he exited the car. The nurses firmly held his upper arms as Luke keyed open the handcuffs. Spencer was laid down on the gurney. At the sensation of straps being pulled under his arms and over his shoulders, his eyes widened and he struggled against the hold of the nurses. His wrists were pinned down to his sides and buckled in place with the quick release cuffs. As his ankles were bound in the cuffs strapped to the bottom of the gurney, Spencer's eyes widened with horror and his breath caught in his chest. His entire frame trembled, tears spilling from his eyes.

"No... I didn't pass the sentence... I only did my job... Please..." He felt the sharp pinch of a needle into his hip, and the distorted voices of his team mates talking to the nurses, then the gurney began rolling away towards the hospital entrance. His eyes fluttered and his limbs felt loose, like they weren't his own. More staff descended on the gurney as it rumbled through the automatic doors.

"Patient is Dr Spencer Reid. Was found in an episode of self-injury at home by his colleagues. He became violent when they intervened and had to be put into custody to get him here. He has deep lacerations to his left arm and wrist, as well as a self-inflicted head injury. He fell into a flashback as we put him in the restraints. Two milligrams Ativan given." The young, fiery-haired doctor nodded.

"Okay. Put him on a seventy-two hour psych hold. I need fifteen minute monitoring of his vitals. Once the sedative has kicked in, I'll stitch his wounds and then we'll get him up onto the ward." The doctor turned to Luke who was panting behind her. "What has been happening with Dr Reid?"

"He was held captive at San Quentin by the warden and his colleagues, and was raped by three inmates. They took him to the execution chamber and gave him a lethal injection. He went into respiratory arrest. He just got out of the hospital a few days ago." The doctor turned back to the nurses.

"Keep close tabs on his oxygen levels and respiration rate. He's had a recent respiratory arrest. Get him to trauma three and get two litres of oxygen ready on standby." The doctor glanced down to see that Spencer had fallen into a fitful, drug-induced slumber, his brows knotted in fear. Sweat beaded his forehead and his tears had dried in tracks down his face. The nurses nodded and guided the gurney forward into the trauma bays. Matt and Luke stared helplessly after the gurney. It was as though Spencer was possessed. This was not the genius that they had come to love. On the outside, he was the prison-hardened, yet lovable Dr Reid. On the inside, however, was a creature so full of rage and hatred. This would undoubtedly be the straw that broke the camel's back, and be the end of their friend as they knew him.