Humphrey's P.O.V.
It's a weird feeling, not knowing if the moments you share with someone will be your last. You've probably spent a lot of time thinking about what you would do if you knew that you had only one day to spend with the people you love, when the possibility was a mere chimera. You may even have a list of everything you'd want to say to them in case you never made it back, and fantasize about one final night of burning passion, but once you're in it, you realize that you're completely lost without a single star to guide you. Words fail you, because, honestly, in that moment you realize that there's nothing that you can say, and the dread lingers in your gut to a point where all the time you thought you'd spend together you spend trying to distract yourselves from the dwindling hours to avoid becoming sick.
That night there was no intimate conversation and no love-making. There was only silence which would be briefly whisked away by awkward conversations and tears. Honestly, that night all I wanted, more than words, more than passion, more than anything, was to hold her, so that's what I did. For hours we simply sat in each other's embrace. She would bury her head into my chest and every now and again she would begin to sob softly. Meanwhile, I simply sat there and allowed myself to bask in her scent, in her touch. When she would cry, gentle lips would land atop her head and the arms around her would pull her in tight as though to offer the comfort that my tongue could not.
I could have told her not to cry, that everything would be alright, that I would come home to her, but how could I lie to her when I couldn't even lie to myself? Part of me knew that even if I did succeed, I wouldn't be coming home, but at least my mate and our pups would be able to live in a world free of fear and oppression, and that made it all worth it. I don't know how long we stayed up that night, but eventually Kate became so physically and emotionally exhausted that she fell asleep in my arms, so I gently laid her down and lied beside her. Sleep, however, eluded me. As I listened to my mate snore and I pulled her body in close to mine, I silently said my goodbyes to her. I knew I would never be strong enough to tell her in person, but I just hoped as my eyes did eventually grow heavy and fall closed, that she knew just how much she meant to me.
Kate's P.O.V.
I awoke the next morning to find the ground by my side where Humphrey slept empty, but in his place, there was a slab of caribou accompanied by a message that had been scrawled into the dirt:
"I will always be with you."
Tears stung my eyes as they fell upon the breakfast that he had brought, and as they threatened to glue themselves to the note that he had left, I had to turn away. After everything that we had been through together, it tore me apart inside to know that I had spent what could very well have been my final moments with him feeling sorry for myself and that I said none of the things that weighed on my heart. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, but mostly I wanted to tell him just how sorry I was for everything. I should have been a better wife, a better lover and a better friend to him. I should have shown him how much he meant to me that night, but instead all I did was sit around and pout. I didn't even tell him I love him before sleep crept over me and stole me away, and then he was out on a perilous mission, completely alone and it was my fault.
I suppose that some part of me still really wanted to bring the Artist down for glory, and at that point I could almost taste their blood in the air as my husband or our executioner brought a permanent end to their reign of terror. Humphrey should have never been placed in that position, but I guess I was so ready to see the light leave the Artist's eyes that I was willing to put my beloved mate in harm's way to see it, and nothing was worth that.
For the first hour without him, I was so sick with worry that even the thought of food made me want to vomit, so I simply sat there and blankly stared down upon the meal that he had brought me as I rolled it back and forth between my paws. Beyond that, I don't know how much time had passed, because I had allowed myself to retreat into my mind, but I was shaken from my thoughts when I heard a scrape of paws near the mouth of my den.
"Humphrey?!" I gasped, relieved, but my retreat from my fears was quickly halted when I saw Miles round the corner of the entrance.
"Nope," he replied, "just me."
"Oh. Hey, Miles," I greeted, awkwardly as I attempted to collect myself, "how's it going?"
"A lot better than it'll be for your husband when I find him," he grumbled, bitterly, "he didn't show up for training this morning."
"Oh, did he not tell you?" I began as I rose to my paws, "we may have found a new lead in the Charlie case, so Humphrey went up to check it out in my stead."
"Nope. Guess he must've left that part out," he replied as he settled upon his haunches.
"Sorry," I apologized.
"Eh, it is what it is," he said, dismissively, "and what about you? How's everything going with the pups?"
"Um… good, actually," I replied as I, too, settled onto my haunches, "doc says they should come in the next couple weeks."
At this, Miles smiled brightly.
"Congratulations, kiddo," he said warmly, "that's amazing."
"Yeah, but honestly, sometimes it doesn't even feel real," I admitted, "like… I'm about to be a mom."
"Honestly, it's hard for me to believe, too," he confessed, "seems like yesterday you were just a little pup trying to jump up and bat my nose, and now you're all grown up and about to have a family…" He trailed off as he lowered his eyes, "Where did the time go?"
An awkward silence filled the den and for a moment, we simply sat silently across from one another and tried to avoid each other's gaze. Finally, though, the silence became too much for me to bear and I spoke.
"You're looking good, too, by the way;" I commended.
"Thanks," he replied as his eyes met mine.
"How is it going?" I inquired.
"Honestly? It's is impossible," he admitted.
"Well, I know that this probably doesn't help very much," I began as I gently placed my paw on top of his, "but I want you to know that I am so proud of you. And I know that things between us have been… complicated lately, and some of that is my fault. I haven't exactly been honest about my feelings and I'm sorry for being so wishy-washy, but you know me. I like to just try to bury things and move on, and I've tried to do that with you, but I just don't think that I can do that this time around. You really hurt me, Miles."
"I know," he replied, ashamed, "I honestly can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am, Kate. For everything. If I could go back and undo it all, I would."
"I know," I stated, "and I appreciate your apology, but I need you to know that I'm not ready to forgive you yet."
"Oh," he replied, visibly crushed, "okay."
"I'm sorry, Miles," I began, sincerely, "you're like a second father to me, and I've been trying so hard to make this work, but right now there's just too much bad history for me to just go back to the way we were before, ya know? I need time."
"I understand," he said, dejectedly, "should I go?"
"For now, I think that would be best," I replied, gently, "Like I said: I am so proud of the progress that you've made, and I am so happy to see that you are doing better, but right now, I think what I need the most from you is a little bit of space."
"Okay," he sighed as he slowly rose to his paws and turned to walk away.
I watched him make his way toward the mouth of my den, but when he arrived, he stopped.
"When you see Humphrey, tell him I'd better see him in training tomorrow or his ass is mine," he said, his eyes still facing forward.
Despite myself, a small smile crept across my lips as these words hit my ears.
"I will," I assured.
Without another word, he stepped beyond the threshold of my den and slowly disappeared from my sight. As soon as he was gone, I felt the smile retreat from my lips and I sighed as despair consumed me.
"Maybe…" I said, sadly, never knowing that in less than an hour, all of our lives would change forever.
Humphrey's P.O.V.
I wasn't feeling confident about my mission when I left my den that morning as it was, but when it dawned on me that I had absolutely no idea where I should even begin to look for him, it all began to feel quite hopeless. I couldn't inquire about troop movement without drawing suspicion, and I wasn't in a position where I could be too involved in the alpha machine because I was not in any position of authority at that time. I probably should have gotten there earlier so I could eavesdrop on their morning rollcall, but seeing as how I had such a difficult time falling asleep the previous night, I overslept.
And what was worse? I didn't know a thing about him. Ordinarily when investigating a wolf of interest, it is important to get to know them, but given the nature of this mission, and his mostly anti-social tendencies, I didn't have the time to observe him. I also didn't know anybody from whom I could fish for information without coming across as suspicious, so I had established no patterns, and as far as I knew, he had no weaknesses. This half-cocked, poorly planned leap of faith left me flying blind with no safety net to catch me when I inevitably crashed, but, as meager as it seemed, it was our best effort at bringing down a monster and saving countless lives.
I just worried as I set my nose to work that morning that our best effort wouldn't be enough. After all, what was one omega in the face of such reckless hate? What could I realistically do besides report back to my invalid mate and hope that she actually had a plan for such information, or try to fight and take what I had learned to my grave? I won't lie to you: I was petrified on that morning, so much so that I had subconsciously begun to try to talk myself out of it, but it was in this moment that the nearby snap of a twig caught my attention. Immediately, my ears began to flash in every direction and when I realized that paw steps were approaching, I crouched down and sought cover behind a rock.
Hushed voices then began to grow from the distance and soon two pups came into view. Relieved, I released the breath that I had not been previously aware of holding, but that relief was short lived. As I watched them draw nearer to me, I began to notice the little details to which my relief had previously blinded me. They walked briskly and would mutter softly between themselves before one or both of them would cast a wary glance behind them as though they were being followed. Instinctively, my desire was to protect them. After all, these pups were far too young to be out and about on their own, and by their build and gait, it was clear to me that they were omegas. However, before I could act, I saw him.
Like a ghost, he emerged from the vegetation and followed silently behind the pups who casually put distance between him and them. And I regret to say it, but in this moment, I froze. The stronger parts of me wanted nothing more than to stand between him and those innocent pups that he stalked. Of course, I knew that I would have no chance of winning if I were to challenge him head on, but at least I could buy those pups some time. But an even greater part of me was so scared of Scar that all I could do was remain behind cover as he passed. I covered my mouth and tried with everything I had to slow my breath in hopes that he would not see, hear or smell me, but with the way that I trembled, I knew that it was only a matter of time before I was discovered and killed.
However, much to my relief, he simply continued on his way, and once I was certain that he had passed me, I peaked my head up over the rock behind which I hid and watched as he continued on his way. For a moment, I fought to steady my rattled nerves and then, in spite of my every instinct to flee, I followed. I can't tell you exactly how long I followed him or what thoughts ran through my head as I tailed the suspicious alpha, but what I can tell you is that nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.