This chapter picks up right where the previous one left off.
Olivia's unexpected question seems to hang heavily in the air between them while Amanda struggles to find her voice and is unable to pry her hand away from the soft, bare skin that it is resting against; the satiny smoothness of the lieutenant's hipbone proving to be irresistibly enticing. She watches as the brunette throws another glance over her shoulder and this time there is nothing unclear about her expression, Olivia spearing her with a look that is entirely apologetic.
"Sorry, Amanda, that was very inappropriate of me," she murmurs in embarrassment, the sudden restless movement of her limbs suggesting that Olivia is about to vacate the bed. "I shouldn't have asked you that. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable."
"Liv, it's fine," Amanda assures her, finding her voice just in time and grabbing ahold of Olivia's forearm while the brunette is in the process of scrambling out of her reach; long legs thrown over the side of the mattress like she is intending on leaving the room altogether. "You're not making me feel uncomfortable at all, really."
Her voice catches briefly in the back of her throat before she swallows hard and continues speaking, willing herself to sound as confident as she usually does and hoping there is no tremble evident in her tone. "And I'm sure the massage would feel better if you took your shirt off because then there would be no barrier between my hands and your...skin," she finishes in a somewhat choked manner that is barely audible as she watches Olivia promptly grasp onto the hem of her silky white blouse, lifting it swiftly over her head and tossing the garment onto the floor in one fell swoop.
"Uh...I guess I didn't need too much convincing," the older woman murmurs with a hint of self-conscious laughter, shifting her body bashfully back onto the mattress and settling down into the sheets in front of Amanda again.
She chuckles nervously along with her boss, her mouth going completely dry as she tries to keep from ogling the enticing expanse of Olivia's bronzed skin and the white lace bra that looks as if it was perfectly crafted to fit her curvy frame, the fragile scrap of material hugging her tanned figure in all the right places.
The last thing Amanda wants to do is take advantage of Olivia in any way, especially when the brunette is in such an unusually vulnerable state, and she desperately tries to rein in her wildly racing libido and calm her thumping heart, reminding herself that this is merely a friendly gesture meant to soothe Olivia into a more serene state of being and absolutely nothing more than that. There is a little voice in the back of Amanda's brain, reminding her that it was Olivia who had been the one to suggest taking her shirt off in the first place and that it had not been her own idea at all; wondering again if the older woman might possibly share those deeper feelings that she is continually pushing down every single time they try to creep back up to the surface and make themselves known. It remains to be seen whether Olivia just wants to be more comfortable or if she actually has an ulterior motive in mind, but Amanda is resolute in keeping this as platonic as she possibly can, at least for the time being; knowing that her boss just needs to relax and wind down from her busy and stressful week.
She figures that will be much easier said than done when she places her hands lightly on Olivia's warm, bare shoulders and begins a tentative rubbing motion, the other woman letting out a low and drawn-out moan in response and her head tilting slightly backwards as if in sheer pleasure of her friend's ministrations. Amanda squeezes her eyes shut and groans inwardly, thinking how very screwed she is, considering they are only at the beginning of this massage and things are just going to continue to progress from this point on, mentally talking herself into keeping perfect control of her hands and not letting this evolve into anything even remotely sexual. The fact that Olivia is sitting there in front of her without a shirt on is probably not the best way to convince herself that this is nothing more than a comforting gesture from one good friend to another and has no basis whatsoever in anything romantic, but Amanda is not about to tell her to put the garment back on as her eyes drift open to once again fix upon the soft, tanned flesh before her.
"So do you want to tell me what's been going on at work and with Noah?" she asks in an effort to distract herself from the way Olivia is reacting to her touch, the brunette's body moving in a slow, seemingly sensual way against the sheets as Amanda's fingers trail leisurely down her spine and dig into the knotted muscles she finds there.
"Mmm, not really," Olivia mumbles in response, her head falling forward now and her face obscured by thick, dark tresses as Amanda peers around her shoulder to try and get a look at her expression. "It's not that I don't want to talk about things with you, Amanda, because I do," she adds somewhat apologetically. "But I just want to relax tonight, okay?"
"Okay," she replies in agreement, even though she doesn't think that she will be capable of relaxing at all now, especially when part of the clasp on Olivia's bra comes loose and begins opening bit by bit as if the hooks have a mind of their own.
Amanda's hands come to an abrupt halt against the other woman's back, unsure of whether to alert Olivia to this issue or just refasten the bra herself and continue on with her soothing massage like she is unaffected by what is happening. There is a part of her that wants to suggest Olivia just remove her bra altogether since it would definitely make the massage much easier if she could have full access to the older woman's back without any clothing getting in the way and impeding the gentle movement of her hands across her skin, but she refrains from doing so.
"Well, apparently my clothes just don't want to stay on when I'm around you, Amanda," Olivia suddenly chuckles with a hint of uneasiness in her tone like she is afraid of her friend's reaction, both hands reaching back to try and grasp onto the sides of the garment that only gape open even further at the attempt to hold the bra together, the actions clumsy and awkward due to the way she is sitting.
Amanda listens to the frustrated sigh that emits from Olivia's mouth and observes the utter exhaustion in the way her body is moving now, the slight amount of relaxation and contentment that had been evident only a moment ago seeming to disappear instantly with her embarrassment. Amanda's hands come up to cover the lieutenant's and give them a brief squeeze of reassurance while gently pushing them away, overcome with a rush of tenderness that mixes in with her arousal and uncertainty of the situation; she and Olivia definitely toeing the line with one another now but unable to stop herself from speaking her next words.
"Just leave it, Liv; it's okay," she says softly, her palms sliding up to grasp lightly onto Olivia's upper arms when the other woman's hands fall away, and her fingers gripping more firmly onto the toned muscles she finds there. "Do you want to lie down on the bed? It'll give me easier access to your back and it might help your clothes stay on better."
Amanda infuses a teasing quality into her tone and is gratified when Olivia laughs quietly in response before throwing an unreadable glance over her shoulder and slowly stretching out onto her stomach across the mattress. She shifts over on the sheets to make more room for the other woman's body to take up a larger amount of space on the bed, and rests her hand against a slightly quivering back when Olivia is settled and her face is pushed into the blankets like she is trying to hide, a waterfall of dark hair covering up her expression once again.
"There you go, Liv. You just lay there and relax and let me take care of you, okay?" Amanda's voice is gentle and reassuring as she watches the tentative nod of Olivia's head, her boss' emotions seemingly all over the place and twisted up into a giant knot of conflicting feelings.
She is getting the sense that Olivia is ashamed to be seen in this vulnerable state and possibly regrets seeking this kind of attention from her colleague but is also in desperate need of it at the same time, her high levels of stress more than apparent and worrying Amanda to no end. She knows what it's like trying to juggle the combined challenges of being a single mother while putting in very long days at the precinct with the worst kind of scum that society has to offer, but can only imagine how much harder it must be for Olivia to run their unit with the utmost professionalism and continually maintaining the high success rate that they have in closing their cases. Amanda is reminded again of how privileged she feels when Olivia shows this uncharacteristically vulnerable side of her personality, fully aware that the older woman doesn't exhibit this kind of nature around anyone else and is only comfortable letting loose with her more sensitive and hidden emotions around her.
"You doing okay, there?" she inquires softly as her hands resume their tender movements across Olivia's back, noticing the brunette has given up on fumbling with the clasp of her bra and both sides of the garment have now come completely open and are laying loosely against her ribs, exposing even more of that beautiful bronzed skin.
"I don't know," comes the mumbling reply that prompts Amanda's eyebrows to raise high in surprise and concern, her fingers trailing up to Olivia's face to gently push back a section of disheveled hair so she can see her better.
"What do you mean, you don't know? What's going on, honey? I know you said that you just want to relax right now, but can you talk to me for a minute?" Amanda is now leaning over the other woman's prone body, stroking a thumb back and forth across part of Olivia's furrowed brow that is visible against the covers and noticing that her eyelid has drifted closed in fatigue.
"There's just a lot going on right now, Amanda." Olivia's response is spoken in a whispered tone that is barely audible due to the exhaustion and her face still being partially obscured by the blankets. "I'm just confused about some things."
"What are you confused about?" she asks softly, the pad of her thumb trailing slowly across the brunette's cheekbone and resting there when Olivia doesn't answer right away. "Liv?" she prods gently, tapping her face very lightly with the digit and realizing that the other woman has fallen asleep.
"That's okay, you just get some rest, honey," Amanda sighs quietly, deciding to lay down carefully beside Olivia on the bed and snuggling up close to the warm body next to her, feeling the need to be as near as possible to the taller figure of her friend and continue to provide her with the care that she so obviously needs right now.
Even though Olivia is no longer awake and is now emitting soft snores from between slightly parted lips, Amanda finds that she cannot stop lavishing the other woman with comfort, her fingers tracing light patterns and drawing little pictures over heated bare skin. She alternates between rubbing Olivia's back with a firmer touch and letting her hand trail in a tender caress up and down the brunette's spine, starting from her hairline and traveling all the way down to the waistband of her pants before moving slowly upwards again, grazing her fingertips along each rib as she circles her palm around with a certain reverence and awe that she is able to touch and comfort Olivia in this fashion.
When Amanda feels her own eyelids beginning to droop closed with fatigue, she leans over to press a soft kiss to Olivia's forehead, frowning slightly when she feels how much warmer the older woman's skin has become and hoping she isn't coming down with a cold or other illness due to the large amount of stress she has been under lately. She lays her head down right next to Olivia's on the same pillow, their faces only inches apart and breath mingling together, an arm wrapping protectively around the lieutenant's back and pulling her body even closer as she quickly succumbs to her own slumber.
When Amanda awakens the next morning, her eyelids cracking blearily open and immediately slamming shut again as they are assaulted by the bright sunlight that is streaming into the room from the blinds she had forgotten to close, she is pleased to note the presence of another warm body in the bed next to her. She is always overjoyed when a playdate with Olivia and Noah turns into a sleepover, and she envisions sneaking out of her bedroom and into the kitchen to prepare a big Saturday morning breakfast for everyone before they wake up; immensely enjoying these moments when the four of them, as well as Frannie, resemble a family.
Amanda lays there contentedly daydreaming about all of them spending the day together as she begins to drift back into a light sleep, thinking the kids would enjoy taking Frannie for a long walk in the crisp fall air with the leaves right at their stunning peak of color, and that a trip to the park might also be nice; so caught up in her thoughts as she flits in and out of slumber that it doesn't immediately register where her head is resting. Her eyes fly open again in sheer panic, fully awake now that she is aware of the positioning of her body on the bed, along with Olivia's, and noticing with no small amount of both alarm and arousal that they have moved throughout the night and the older woman is now lying on her back instead of her stomach, Amanda's arm wrapped around a bare waist and her head pillowed quite comfortably on a naked breast.
"Oh, shit," she mutters under her breath as she yanks herself as quickly as she can from Olivia's snoozing form and bolts upright on the mattress, thoroughly taking in the way they have re-positioned themselves over the past several hours and blue eyes widening slightly at what she sees.
Amanda is still dressed in the clothes she had worn to the precinct the day before, deciding to go more casual on a Friday with dark jeans and a red plaid shirt, but Olivia is even less clothed than she was during the previous evening's massage, the brunette's bra having been removed entirely from her body and twisted up into a lacy knot in the sheets next to her, Olivia's belt unbuckled and dress pants unzipped and showing just a hint of white panties that look as if they match her bra.
"Uh, Liv, I'm just going to cover you up a little bit, alright?" Amanda whispers in a slightly trembling tone as she picks up a corner of the quilt with the intention of draping it over her friend's nude torso, not wanting Olivia to be upset when she wakes up or frightened when she feels the material suddenly coming into contact with that part of her body.
"Mmm, no, I'm too hot," comes the mumbling response of the brunette, Olivia shifting restlessly back and forth on the bed and seeming to settle herself more comfortably into the sheets like she is intent on remaining in that position, her eyelids flickering open only briefly before drifting shut again.
"Oh god, Olivia, you're going to kill me here," Amanda murmurs in a barely audible tone as she tries to keep her gaze firmly averted from those voluptuous breasts and the dusky pink nipples that have hardened in the cool morning air, now that Amanda's body is not lying over top of them like a blanket.
She reaches down to feel Olivia's forehead with a frown of concern when she notices the goosebumps lining her stomach and unsure if the brunette is feeling hot or cold at the moment, as there are indications of both. There is a worrisome heat emanating from Olivia's skin when Amanda lays her palm gently against her head, and she is now completely certain that the lieutenant has come down with some kind of illness due to her busy schedule and the constant stress that comes with caring for Noah by herself and managing her team at the precinct.
The sudden pitter-patter of tiny feet and muffled giggles out in the hallway, followed by a sharp bark and the clicking of canine toenails against the floor, has Amanda shaking Olivia's shoulder with a spiking amount of alarm when the knob on the closed bedroom door begins to rattle noisily. "Uh, Liv, you need to wake up and put something on right now!" she hisses urgently, knowing they are about to be joined by the three other occupants of the apartment.
Sure enough, the words are barely out of her mouth when the door is flying enthusiastically open and slamming back against the wall with the force of it, Noah, Jesse, and Frannie trooping into the room in a disheveled line of messy hair and rumpled pajamas and spiky fur, Olivia seeming to rise to full consciousness and scrambling to pull the covers over herself just in time. Amanda breathes a sigh of relief when Frannie leaps onto the bed to join them but the kids already seem otherwise engaged with one of Jesse's teddy bears that she had left on the floor in the corner, the two children tugging anxiously at the stuffed animal like there is a fight brewing between them and Olivia huddled deep beneath the blankets so that only her flushed, feverish face is poking out.
"Mama, I had a sleepover with Jesse last night!" Noah announces with delight as he whirls around with the teddy bear clutched firmly in his grasp and Jesse reaching out for it with an indignant whine. "She's my best friend!" The little boy seems to be studying them closely for a moment before his lips quirk up into a happy grin and his eyes crinkle at the corners as he beams at up them. "Did you have a sleepover with 'Manda, Mama? Is she your best friend too?"
Amanda glances down at Olivia with a brewing nervousness swirling inside her gut, the older woman staring right back at her with an unreadable expression fixed on her tired features, unsure of how Olivia is going to respond to this innocent question and privately wondering if they have now crossed over that line from best friends to something more.