Monday December 20th, 1993
Melissa barely remembered coming home last night. She had vague recollections of white - of snow and light and hospital bed sheets. There had been conversations, too, yet she willed her mind to only talk of white and black. It must have worked, because the floo fire had taken her to Kings Cross, not the Ministry jail cells. Her parents were quiet on the drive home, she thinks, or maybe she was just asleep the whole way through. Whatever it has been, it allowed her a night of deep, peaceful sleep.
That ended the next morning.
"SHE WAS ATTACKED IN YOUR SCHOOL, DUMBLEDORE! UNDER YOUR WATCH! WHAT KIND OF- OF EEJIT PUTS SOUL-SUCKING MONSTERS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SCHOOL?!"
If her parents were hoping she'd stay asleep during this talk, her dad was failing spectacularly.
"THIS IS 'EVERYTHING YOU COULD', IS IT? THEY TRIED TO KILL HER! HER AND GOD ONLY KNOWS HOW MANY OTHER KIDS! IT'S A MIRACLE THEY'RE EVEN ALIVE, YOU REALIZE THAT? DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW THEY SURVIVED?"
Melissa pushed open the bedroom door and made her way downstairs. Dumbledore's voice slowly percolated as she got closer.
"-looking into it. Regardless, what matters is that the children are all safe and in good health."
"This time, maybe," her dad growled, "but what about next time? Eh? They're 'guarding the school', right? What's to stop those monsters from going after Mel the second she steps off the train?!"
"I assure you, Mister Bennett, this will not happen again-"
"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT, IT WON'T, BECAUSE MY GIRL'S NEVER GOING BACK TO YOUR SCHOOL!"
"Dad?!" All three adults swivelled to the new voice, having not noticed her arrival until now. "What's- you can't be serious, right? I have to go back!"
"No, Mel," Jake shook his head. "Not a chance. We nearly lost you once. We cannot risk you going back there."
"But it'll be okay, right?!" She looked to Dumbledore, pleading, "The Ministry will call off the Dementors, right?" She waited earnestly to hear his answer, growing nervous as seconds stretched and his face went grave. "Right?"
Dumbledore took a deep breath. "Unfortunately, with the political climate as it is, the Minister remains steadfast that the dementors' are necessary to protect the school from Peter Pettigrew."
"But-"
"THAT'S RIDICULOUS!" This time it was her mum who shouted. "How can they be protecting the children if they're trying to eat them alive?!"
"I assure you, madam, that I wholeheartedly agree. Unfortunately the matter is out of my hands."
"Well that's all good for you, but our daughter's safety is in our hands, and we say that Mel's never going back to Hogwarts!"
"But you can't!" Tears formed in Melissa's eyes unbidden. "I- I have to go back! I have to-"
Her body trembled weakly, just in time to be embraced by her father. "Melly, baby, look at me. I know this is a lot to take in, and you've been through so much; but we can't risk this. It's too dangerous and your life is worth so much more than this crazy stuff." His thumb wiped away her tears. It didn't stop the stream, even as he held her close. "I know it's hard, but you'll thank us later."
"And it's not like you're leaving magic behind," her mother added. "We can look into that French school, or even get tutors for you like we were thinking of earlier."
"Mister and Missus Bennett," Dumbledore spoke quickly, "perhaps we can discuss this-"
"Perhaps it's time you leave," Jake spoke venomously. "Now, before I call the police on you for trespassing."
"...Very well." His shoulders sagged as he watched the protective way the Bennetts hovered over their daughter. "I will… look into accommodations for you, for taking her exams. …Good day, Mister and Missus Bennett, Melissa."
Silence reigned over tears.
"I don't know what to do!" she spoke fearfully, her voice quiet as she explained what had happened over the phone. "They won't listen to reason and I- I just can't! I have to go back! But they won't as long as those bloody dementors are at the school!"
"That's all it'll take?" Sophie asked. "Getting these dementors out of the school?"
"And Hogsmeade. God, maybe even out of Britain, before they change their mind!"
"Don't you worry about it," Sophie answered. "I have an idea. Play along for now. I'll make sure you can go back."
"Really?!" she asked. "You sure? How?"
"Leave the details to me. I'll find you a way before the year is done."
Having a couple days of rest helped settle the turbulence of the weekend. Her parents sent off letters to Sirius and Beauxbatons, meanwhile Melissa kept her disturbed thoughts to a minimum. Word had spread amongst the students about the dementor attack, as made clear by the flurry of owls that followed. People asked if she had known an attack would happen (no) and what saved them (some strange light), but there were also questions asking if demons had infiltrated the school (what do you mean? It was just dementors, right?) and if she had any interactions with [insert shitstain attacker] in the past (Nope. Why do you ask?) With all those questions, it seems that the true attackers that day are fulfilling their end of the bargain. Good. The fuckers deserved the scare. Now all that was left is to ensure that things stay that way.
But until then, let's push that aside and use the rest of this holiday as an actual holiday.
Wednesday December 22, 1993
"MELISSA!" Mary called out. "THE PHONE'S FOR YOU!"
"OKAY!" She made her way to the kitchen, gladly accepting the phone from her mum and chirped "Melissa speaking!"
"Hello Melissa, this is Ted Tonks calling."
"Oh, hiya, Mister Tonks. What can I help you with today?"
"The family's having a bit of a row, and I was hoping you could clear something up for me."
"Oh. Okay?"
"We once had a chat about a lad named Teddy," he said, "and I believe you said that his life was dependent on things going right before May, correct?"
The question confused her. No, that was about me getting out of prison before my 16th birthday, but- "Actually, that was more about his name choice."
"Right," his voice sounded a touch irritated by the reminder. "Well, about his name… I am wondering if, by any chance, his last name will happen to be Lupin?"
"..."
"..."
"... IS DORA PREGNANT?!"
"Yes," the answer came curt. "Anything else I should know?"
"Umm…" Her mind whipped through a frenzy over what little she could recall about the canon of this premature (ha!) event. "Remus is going to feel super guilty about this. He's a good person, but he's kind of a walking pity party when it comes to relationships so… there's a good chance that he'll be a… flight risk?" she winced as the last two words came out. That's the last thing any father wants to hear about his pregnant daughter's baby-daddy. At the same time, what father wouldn't want to know about that risk? But a second thought had her speaking quickly, "But they'll be fine and happy together so long as someone pushes him out of that funk. He really is a good person. He'll be a great dad, I'm sure! So, yeah… Mister Tonks?"
A chill went through her as a threatening female tone cut in. "Thank you, Melissa," said Andi. "We'll take your words under advisement."
The line clicked and went dead. The low tone rang in her ear as she slowly hung the phone back on the wall. Once it did, she gripped her lips and chin, falling into a cringing snort of a laugh.
Her mum, having been in earshot, looked far more concerned than Melissa was. "Please don't tell me that Remus got Ted's girl pregnant!"
"BAHAHAHAHA! Oh, he did! Ha-ahhh, they're so screwed!"
Okay, this holiday is getting better already!
That laugh kept her in high spirits for the whole trip over to her friend, Sarah's, house. Her old music-mate was planning a get-together, and Melissa was very much glad to hear Tally and Victoria were meeting them early before the outing. After several hugs and quick exchanges, Tally insisted they go over to the living room to check out a video before they do anything else.
Melissa laughed as the boy practically dragged them down. "Aren't we meeting up with the others at Nandos?"
"In a bit," he waved off, "but you've got to check this out, first!" He pulled out a generic VHS with a scribble of THE WORD - SERIES 4 labelled in black marker.
"Okay?" Melissa snickered slightly. "You know I barely watch that show, right?"
"Yeah, but- trust me- this'll be worth it." Tally pressed play for the show to start. His body practically jittering as he joined the girls on the couch.
Melissa shrugged, settling in as the video played. The Word, as she recalled, is a teen's talk show. Very teen, and very 90s. That much was obvious from the intro music. Though she wondered why everyone seemed so excited to watch a replay of a talk show?
"Welcome back to the wonderful world of The Word! We kick off our first show with soccer's sexiest skinhead, Vinny Jones; America's hottest stand-up, Dave Chapelle; and we get a sniff of Britain's top funny men, Vic and Bob. Also music from-"
"Wait. Did he just say Dave Chapelle?"
"Yeah," Tally answered. "He's real funny."
Melissa hummed in agreement. No one said anything else. They just kept listening to the show's lineup. That said, she did mention meeting Dave Chapelle that night at the Fringe, didn't she? Is that why Tally brought this up?
The show started up. The three hosts welcomed the large audience to the show, then welcomed a new fourth host; a bald, Geordie girl named Huffty, and got into a bit of a banter with her. After that an American hip hop band named Onyx performed a song. Tally and Sarah seemed to be enjoying themselves, rocking to the beat; though Melissa and Victoria could only shrug their shoulders as the song went on.
Once that ended, the hosts moved on to the first guest of the night, Dave Chapelle. Melissa watched it unfold from the edge of her seat. It started normally enough. Questions about how Dave got started as a comedian, fart jokes, growing up in D.C, his opinion of Britain, that sort of thing. Then came a more topical question.
"Now, you were saying you're very restricted in America, because there you're not allowed to do anything like go to clubs or anything like that til you're 21. So what have you been getting up to while you've been in England that you don't do in America?"
"Oh, man, well, you know, I've been going to comedy clubs and stuff. Last time I was here I made friends with a bunch of guys from a band. Uh- The Weird Sisters they call themselves. Cool guys. Weird as shit, though. Fits the name just right. But they've been showing me around while I'm here. Which is alright, but the first time I met them they scared the shit outta me."
"Really? Why is that?"
"Well, they have this friend. Some chick who woke up from a coma and came out psychic or somethin', and she pulled me up on stage as part of an act."
"To talk about your new movie, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, right?"
"Oh, somebody did his homework!" Dave teased the host.
"I did! As it turns out, we actually got a clip of that act-"
"WHAT?!"
She sat up straight, reflexively wanting to jump off the couch and shut the telly off before the others could see. She turned to her friends to get a gauge of their reactions. Instead of surprise at her outburst, each of them was giving her a knowing look.
Ohh, no…
A buzz of static punctuated the start of the clip.
"Now, Marian's whole thing in this movie is that she wants to find the man who'll hold the Key to her Heart," her voice echoed over the grainy video playing behind Chapelle and the host, "and, by heart, I mean the Everlast chastity belt she wears for the whole film. Now, Rottingham's so desperate to be that man that he straight up takes a jackhammer to the lock! Although ladies, I'm sure we can all agree that taking a jackhammer to the Everlast would make all sorts of lovely vibrations! But obviously that doesn't work out. Instead he agrees to marry the witch, Latrina- which isn't her real name, but it's way better than being called Shithouse!"
The video paused. In the quiet that followed, Tally lowered the remote and clicked his tongue. "So, about that mutant school you go to… just how serious have you been about all that?"
The lack of reaction from everyone else told Melissa more than she wanted to believe. Eight months, she thought. I've lost every circle of normal in my life over eight bleeding months!
"...In terms of individualised mutant powers, practically not at all. In terms of, erm, abilities caused by genetic differences, a lot."
"Yeah…" Sarah started impatiently, "you're going to have to give us more than that."
"Would you believe me if I told you that I legally cannot offer an explanation?"
That response startled the others. "What happens if you do?"
"Then I end up in jail, and you all- Actually, Tally, do you remember that time a branch broke while we were climbing trees in Eel Brook, and you somehow floated down to safety?"
"What? No! That never happened!"
"Right. Just like how this conversation will have never happened, and I mysteriously vanish to an island prison."
Tally's eyes went wide. "You're saying someone wiped my memory?!"
"Mhmm."
Victoria nervously took the helm, "Would that also happen if I ask Donny or the other Weird Sisters about the school you all went to?"
"...Yes."
Sarah gasped, "And you said it's genetic, right? Did your parents go to that school?!"
"No, I'm the first. Same with Donaghan; but nearly everyone else at school is a legacy kid."
"Bloody hell! And they can all do that?!" Tally pointed at the screen.
"Er, no… That particular trick is kind of rare and not exactly taught."
"Not exactly?" Victoria narrowed her eyes. "What would be closer between what you can do and what's taught?"
"Um… tarot cards, crystal balls, that kind of thing."
Victoria turned to the others, shouting, "I was right! It is magic!"
"Please don't say that out loud!" Melissa moaned. "I'm genuinely serious about the prison!"
"Alright, alright!" Sarah waved her hands placatingly. "It's fine- but, damnit, I was hoping you were a mutant!"
"I was on the fence," Tally added. "I figured it'd be somehow based around music, but then I remembered that a lot of your schoolmates don't play anything, so-"
"Wait, so how long have you three known?!"
Now it was the other three's turn to look guilty. "Tally showed us the video a month ago, after it aired," Victoria answered. "I tried asking Donny some questions, but it was impossible to get much information from him."
"And you all just… sat on this? You haven't told anyone?"
"Well, not much point in saying anything when we don't have an answer, is there?" Sarah asked. "Especially since we couldn't confirm anything until we saw Men In Tights this weekend. Still, magic, that's wicked! Is there any way we can learn more about it without, you know…?"
"Um, the general rule is 'family only'. So unless you marry a wizard, no one normal's allowed to know.
That answer raised some brows. "So you're a wizard, Mel?"
"...I am legally obligated to say No."
The trio gave a snort. Sarah rolled her eyes, "Suppose we can't go breaking magical law, can we?'
"I'd advise against it. There's a reason people are made to believe this stuff doesn't actually exist. Emphasis on the 'made to'."
"Got it," they all nodded their heads, each looking a touch serious, reassuring her that they'll keep mum about this unfortunate revelation.
After a nervous chuckle, Melissa clicked her tongue, "So, any other questions for me to 'not answer' before we head out?"
To her shock, Victoria pulled out a small journal and a fuzzy pen from her purse. "I'm glad you asked. I have so many questions!"
"Guys, I was joking…"
Author's Commentary
You may be wondering to yourself, "That seemed like an unnecessary amount of details for a made up show; but SURELY PhaedraZev isn't crazy enough to research Dave Chapelle's 1993 UK TV appearances to find a real interview-"
AND HERE'S THE LINK! 'The Word' - November 19th, 1993: (dailymotion/) video/x1l8ijl