Chapter Nine- Turnaround
Jaden and the others were concerned. A week had passed since Adrian had rejected Chazz's duel challenge- a story that had passed quickly through the school- and she started being more like a girl. She dueled with her usual deck and style, but off the dueling field, she was a different person. She had pulled back her hair, wore some makeup, and spoke with no arrogance, anger, or sarcasm, just calm and matter of fact in a soft voice.
"Chazz, is everything okay?" Jaden asked the eighth day since the duel rejection.
"Of course," she replied with mild confusion. "Why wouldn't it be?"
"You're not eating much." He nodded at her empty rice bowl.
"I'm watching my weight," she answered before returning to her notes.
The boys of Slifer seemed to prefer the new Chazz, but Jaden, Syrus, and Hassleberry didn't and wondered what had caused this change in her. It was known that Adrian had turned down her challenge to a duel but that hardly explained her feminine behavior.
Alexis had observed Chazz's behavior as well but was at a loss as to why she was being like a girl when she had said she was going to be the same Chazz she had always been. Could our conversation have had more of an impact on her? She did sound different after I spoke of how lucky Adrian was to be adopted. She hasn't tried to challenge Adrian again or any of the other guest duelists. Perhaps now would be a good time to talk to her.
"Chazz," Alexis called as classes ended two days later.
Chazz turned with a calm, peaceful face. "Yes?"
Alexis smiled. "Jasmine, Mindy, and I are going to the girls' wading pool after dinner. Would you like to join us?"
"But that's on Obelisk campus."
"Only because they usually put the girls in Obelisk, but I can invite you as a guest."
"A guest would be perfect. All right, I'll come."
"Great. See you then." Alexis watched Chazz walk away, hoping she would soon get some answers. It will actually just be the two of us but I needed to make sure she would come.
"Uh, Chazz?" Syrus said at dinner. "Could we duel tonight?"
"How about tomorrow?" she suggested. "Alexis invited me to the girls' wading pool after dinner with Jasmine and Mindy."
"Oh. Uh, have fun."
"I intend to."
"It seems we lost the Chazz we knew," Syrus said sadly as Chazz left.
"I don't get it," Hassleberry said. "She had said she would be herself but now she seems to have abandoned it. The Chazz we know doesn't give up like this."
"I think Sy's right," Jaden said. "The Chazz we knew is gone."
Chazz emerged from the locker room in a red bathing suit, headed to the pool, and entered it before heading toward Alexis. She leaned back against the wall, enjoying the water's temperature. "This is nice," she commented. "When will Mindy and Jasmine be here?"
"Actually, it's just you and me. I wanted to talk to you without interruption."
"Talk about what?" she snapped, irritated with Alexis' deception and sounding like her old self.
"Your behavior lately. Does it have anything to do with our conversation about Adrian?"
Her irritated expression melted away. "Ah. No wonder our friends and you have been questioning me. I haven't explained myself. When you spoke of Adrian being lucky, I took a good hard look at my own past and realized that I was the snob. I did fail and feel that my punishment is fitting. I am a girl and should act like one."
"No," she whispered in horror. "Chazz, I wasn't trying to make you feel this way."
"I know, but admit it, Alexis. I was arrogant, snobbish, and a jerk. None of those traits are attractive to anyone or would want anyone to be my friend. It's better that I change that."
"Chazz, you don't need to change yourself like that. How you acted before was fine with us."
"What man would want a woman like that?"
"Atti would. He likes women who are confident to the point of arrogant."
"He does?"
"Yes. You should not let anyone make you think the way they want you to. Did your brothers want you to be more like a girl?"
"Of course they did."
"And you disagreed, right?"
"Yes…and I still disagree."
"Well, right now, you're giving them what they want. You were even asking what man would want the woman you had been. They want you to give in to their plan for you."
Chazz stared down at the water. She thought of how hard she had fought during the month before she went back to school. She wore the dresses and skirts because she knew she would wear one at school. She let her brothers talk of The Plan but did not take in a word of it or acknowledge it. The Ojamas unknowingly helped her keep her usual personality which she also kept with meditation to center herself. I did that to remind myself that I was still Chazz Princeton despite my body. I was acting normal when I came back though I did blush a couple of times,
Then I looked inside myself and believed I was fighting a losing battle. I gave up and surrendered to the woman inside me. I had to hold back my usual comments and traits consciously during the first few days of my transition. I was disgusted with how I was acting, but I told myself that it was better this way.
The person I really am is still there even after all this time. I never told anyone why I changed my behavior. I'm probably creeping them out with my actions.
She sighed. "You have a point, Alexis. The person I was is still inside me. It's just that the way I am now kind of feels comfortable. I'd like to be who I was but I also like how I am now."
"How about a combination?" Alexis suggested. "Take a little from both and make a new way of thinking and acting."
"I…could do that. I'd like to be a little arrogant and less of watching my weight. I do like styling my hair and not taking no for an answer to a duel challenge, something I've been doing lately."
Alexis nodded. "I'd like to see you be confident on and off the dueling field. You've been more considerate of other people's feelings. Keep doing that."
"It does feel good doing that." She smiled. "I think I'll wear less makeup. Perhaps a little gloss as putting on the other stuff seems time-consuming and a waste too."
"Sounds good. I…think we should get out." She held up her hands to display wrinkled fingers.
Chazz looked at her own hands. "Yeah, we should but it's worth it. I'm glad we talked."
"So am I Chazz." They climbed out and went to rinse off and change clothes. "I'll walk you back to Slifer," Alexis offered.
"Thanks." Chazz casually chatted with Alexis on the way back, feeling more like herself than before.