(A/N: Ok, we've got a pretty long chapter here. I thought about splitting it up, but couldn't really find a good spot to do it without one half ending up too short compared to other chapters, so we ended up with one long one. Trigger warning though, the first part of this chapter takes a really dark turn. Can't say what it is without giving out spoilers, just be prepared.)
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Chapter 15: Six Months
Regular workouts were parts of Juri and Shiori's normal routine, not just for good health, but also because they needed to stay fit for the fencing club. They had amplified their workout routine though ever since Shiori expressed her desire to shed the extra weight she had gained from her stress eating, and now worked out longer, harder, and more often.
Juri was on her way to meet her now, the plan being to jog several laps around the school together. Staying true to her word, Juri had helped Shiori to come up with an exercise and dieting program for her to follow. She felt a little guilty for essentially being the cause of Shiori's stress eating, which she found to be strange, as the violet-haired girl had never resorted to such measures when feeling stressed before, but then, she had been dealing with a lot, and turning to comfort food was a fairly common coping mechanism people turned to.
What she had told Shiori in the shower room had been true though. While she had put on weight, it was manageable. Shiori had always been good about staying in shape to begin with. All she had to do was stop the stress eating, which she had, and up her exercise routine a bit to burn off the extra weight she had gained. Juri had opted to join her, not just for support, but also because she couldn't pass up the chance to see how sexy her girlfriend looked both during and after her workout, all sweaty and flushed, her exercise clothes clinging to her glistening skin as she panted for breath.
A smile and a blush filled Juri's cheeks. It seemed like her appetite for her girlfriend was never satisfied, no matter how many times they made love. She was getting to be as bad as Touga, only her hunger was for Shiori alone rather than every girl she came across, and the same seemed to be true for Shiori as well. And with that thought in mind, Juri now found herself very much looking forward to a different kind of workout with her girlfriend once they finished their jog and hit the showers. Correction, shower.
And speaking of Touga, Juri's smile fell away as she spotted the red-haired boy in question. He was standing further down the hall, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, looking as if he were waiting for someone. Probably his latest conquest.
Opting to ignore him, mostly anyway, she gave him a polite nod in greeting as she walked past him. It seemed, however, that she had been the one he was waiting for as he addressed her as she walked by. "Juri, can we talk?"
She paused, her brow furrowing in irritation. "I have somewhere to be. I'm meeting Shiori for a jog around the school."
"Yes, I'm aware; that's why I was waiting for you here. But I would like to speak to you first; I won't hold you up long."
She stubbornly refused to look at him. "Perhaps another time. Excuse me."
She began to walk away when she heard Touga sigh. "Very well. I suppose I could always join you and Shiori on your jog."
She stopped at that, her hands clenching into fists. "This is supposed to be time for Shiori and me."
Pushing off the wall, Touga turned to her. "You don't have monopoly of the school grounds. Being allowed to jog around them is not exclusive to you two."
An annoyed sound escaped Juri before she sighed in resignation and turned to face him, crossing her arms. "Fine. What do you want, Touga?"
He gave her a pointed look. "I would like to know how much longer you plan to stay angry with me."
Juri glanced away indifferently. "I'm not angry with you."
"Then perhaps angry isn't the right word. I should ask how much longer you're going to hold a grudge against me."
She did her best to keep her expression stoic, but couldn't quite hold back her scowl. "I'm not holding a grudge either."
He sighed again. "Come now, Juri, don't insult my intelligence. Ever since you found out I slept with Shiori, you've been cold and indifferent towards me, and you barely speak to me at all during our Student Council meetings."
Her fists tightened, her irritation growing, because he was right. She had been making a point to ignore and avoid him, only speaking to him when she had to, and even then, only saying the bare minimum. It was childish and petty of her, she knew that, but she had been doing it anyway.
"I have no obligation to associate with you if I choose not to," she told him stubbornly.
He let out a deep sigh at that. "I know we've never exactly been best friends, Juri, but we were at least friendly with each other and could talk to each other about things we couldn't with others. Outside of the Student Council, there are few who can understand everything we've gone through regarding the Dueling Game and our personal experiences, let alone those who we can trust to such an extent. I value having people I can trust, Juri, especially that much, and I'd like for us to at least get back to how we were before. So tell me, how long do you plan to hold what happened against me?"
"I'm not holding anything against you," she insisted, but even to her own ears, her words sounded false. "You're perfectly at liberty to sleep with whoever you want; it doesn't bother me."
Now he seemed to be getting annoyed, but he did a much better job at hiding it than her. "Then allow me to wager a guess as to what is bothering you." He stepped closer to her. "You regret sleeping with me, I know that. You also probably feel a little resentment towards me for sleeping with you since you feel I was taking advantage of the fact that you were trying to get over, or at least distract yourself, from Shiori. Am I on the right track so far?"
She said nothing for several long moments. "I don't hold that against you. I was the one who came and propositioned you. That was my decision, that is on me. Any regrets I have for that are laid at my feet, not yours."
"Perhaps," he acknowledged, "but you still regret it all the same, and I imagine that some anger comes with that regret. And upon learning that I slept with Shiori as well, you're now projecting that anger onto me rather than taking responsibility for your poor decision in addition to any anger you feel over Shiori choosing to sleep with me, which you are also projecting onto me. You hate the fact that she slept with the same person you regret sleeping with, especially when she was the reason you slept with me."
He gave her a pointed look. "I'm also willing to wager that, like with you, you see me sleeping with her as me having taken advantage of her, even though she propositioned me. What more, I know she came to me to gain experience that she could take back to Ruka. I'm sure there are many unpleasant feelings involving what happened between the three of you regarding that whole situation, and you're now projecting that anger onto me as well. Me sleeping with Shiori offers you a target that's an easy outlet for all your anger and resentment, as it gives you someone to blame since Ruka isn't here for you to cast blame onto him."
Damn him, he was right, about everything. No matter how much she didn't want to admit it. She was projecting a lot of her grievances onto him and blaming him for things she shouldn't. And yes, he did make for an easy outlet for her anger, even though it wasn't him she was angry with.
Did she hate the fact that she had slept with Touga? Yes, but she had been able to keep that anger directed at herself; it had been on her after all. Did she hate the fact that Shiori had slept with him too? Again, yes. Only this time she couldn't help but direct her anger and jealousy at him, and with it came the anger she felt over herself as well.
She hated that Shiori went to him, the person she herself regretted sleeping with, for experience. And experience to be with Ruka no less, the one who had been using Shiori in order to manipulate her because of what he thought was best for her. But Ruka was gone now, and so much of the anger Juri felt towards him had now unfairly been directed at Touga instead after having found out what happened between him and Shiori.
As if to drive home the fact at how irrational her grudge and anger towards him was, he continued. "As I said before, I had no idea you were in love with Shiori when I slept with her, and it was her who came to me, just as you did. All I did was accept the advances of two beautiful women who came to me. You have no right to be angry at me for that."
"Don't you think I know that!?" she finally snapped, frustrated that he couldn't just let her be mad at him. "I know that my anger towards you is unjustified. I have no one to blame but myself for sleeping with you, and you and Shiori had every right to sleep with whoever you wanted back then. You're right, I don't have the right to be angry with you about those things. What I am angry with you about though, and what directed my unrelated anger towards you is why those things happened in the first place."
Touga's brow furrowed and he now looked confused. "What do you mean?"
She glared at him. "I'm talking about your playboy nature. I mean, God, Touga, do you really need to screw every girl you come across?" She jabbed a finger into his chest. "I only slept with you because I was trying to get over Shiori, but couldn't bring myself to sleep with another girl without seeing her, so I figured I'd give it a try with a boy despite my lack of interest or attraction to them, and figured that I might as well go with the one with the reputation as the best lover around since he would most sufficiently distract me. Shiori basically went to you for the same reason, thinking that if she wanted to gain some experience for Ruka that she might as well learn from the best."
"I suppose I should say that I'm flattered," he replied.
Juri resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "The point is, if you weren't such a womanizing horndog, then I might never have gone to you specifically, and Shiori might not have either, but instead we both lost our virginity to the same guy I regret sleeping with for meaningless sex that I wish hadn't happened. That I am angry with you about, even if the rest isn't your fault."
She stopped here. He waited a few seconds to see if she would say more, but when she didn't, he asked, "So, to be perfectly clear, you're angry at me because I'm a womanizer that both you and Shiori lost their virginity to because I'm a womanizer, which you wouldn't have done if I wasn't such a womanizer?"
She snorted. It sounded ridiculous and sugarcoated when he put it that way, but yes, that was the gist of things. "More or less."
He was silent for a long time after that, seemingly deep in thought. Juri thought he looked like he was contemplating something and waited for him to say what was on his mind, but when he never responded, she got tired of waiting.
"Forget it," she grumbled, turning her back on him. "I have to go; Shiori will be wondering where I am."
She began to walk away. After a dozen or so steps though, she heard him call out to her. "What if I told you that there's a reason why I sleep around so much?"
She paused at this before glancing back at him with a look of disapproval. "Isn't the reason that you simply enjoy it?"
He let out a light chuckle and flipped his hair back. "Well, I won't deny that I enjoy the whole seduction game, not to mention what follows." But then his smile faded and his expression became serious. "However, there's another reason, a deeper underlying reason."
The orange-haired girl scoffed as she turned back to him with her arms crossed and a bored look on her face. "This should be good."
"I'm serious," Touga told her, his tone indicating as much. "What I'm about to tell you is something I haven't told anyone, not even Kyouichi or Nanami. But I trust you, Juri, and I trust that you'll keep this to yourself."
Juri's expression softened when she indeed heard the seriousness in his voice. "What is it?"
A melancholic look appeared on Touga's face and he let out a sigh, turning to lean against the wall again, and looking up at the ceiling. "You know that Nanami and I aren't Kiryuus by blood. We were both adopted."
Juri nodded. "Yes, that's how the whole confusion about Nanami thinking the two of you were not really siblings started. Speaking of which, did you ever clear that up with her?"
He chose to ignore the question. "Just listen, Juri; this will be difficult enough without you interrupting."
Her eyebrows rose at this. He really was being serious. "Fine, continue."
A few more seconds passed before he spoke again. "Did you ever wonder why we were adopted? What happened to our real parents?"
Juri frowned. Truthfully, no, she never had. It hadn't been any of her business, and she hadn't cared enough to ask. "No, but I would assume that they're dead."
Touga scoffed. "I wish. But no, that's not why. The truth is, Nanami and I were taken from our birth parents. You see, my biological father used to… shall we say, 'rent' me out to men who like pretty little boys."
He didn't look at her as he said this. It took Juri some time to process the meaning of his words due to them being so horrific and repulsive, but as she slowly registered what he said, her expression became a mix of shock, horror, and disbelief. "Wait, you mean you were…?"
A sad smile crossed Touga's face. "Made to serve my father's 'clients', however they saw fit. It was the original reason I was made to grow my hair out; most of his clients liked it." He ran his fingers through his hair for emphasis. "Let's just say that my childhood was not a pleasant one."
Juri just stared at him, unable to believe what she was hearing. Touga had been molested as a child? Numerous times from the sound of it. Never would she have expected this. "Touga… I'm so sorry…" She let out a sudden gasp. "What of Nanami?"
His sad smile now became reassuring. "Don't worry, she was too young to remember any of this, and too young to 'service' any clients. But when it was discovered what was happening, we were both taken from our parents and adopted by the Kiryuus." He finally glanced at Juri. "Why do you think I sought out the power of Dios? To have power simply for the sake of having power, yes, but it was also more nuanced than that."
His eyes narrowed and he now looked disgusted. "You have no idea what it's like to feel that helpless. To be completely at the mercy of someone more powerful than you. I wanted the power of Dios so I would never be helpless or powerless again, so I would never be at anyone else's mercy again, and so I could help those who were. And yes, I was willing to stoop to many levels, do almost anything, in order to get that power."
His disgust seemed to fade away and he now looked resigned. "I suppose that was my problem. I fancied myself as some grand hero, a savior, the prince coming to the rescue. I was so focused on that that I didn't see the harm I was doing in trying to reach that goal. Or I subconsciously looked away for what I thought would be the end justifying the means."
A humorless chuckle escaped him. "I think that was why I failed Utena. I was so intent on saving her, on being her prince, that I went about it the wrong way and gave her the wrong impression. I should have supported her and trusted her to make the right decision herself rather than save her in a way she didn't understand and so painted me in a negative light. That was foolish of me."
Juri was still trying to process all this. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that Touga had been molested as a child. That had to have been… Traumatizing seemed too tame of a word. It certainly painted him in a new light and made his actions and behavior take a whole new meaning.
But she still failed to see how his past related to their conversation. "While I'm truly sorry that happened to you, I don't see how it relates to you being a womanizer."
He sighed again. "I came to the conclusion some time ago. I suppose you can say I was seeking beauty in physical affection with my womanizing. Being violated the way I was, and at such a young age…"
He shook his head. "Love making is meant to be a wonderful, beautiful experience. To have it shaped into something ugly like it was for me… Well, I think I was searching for the love and beauty sex could bring after experiencing the dark side of it. I sought it in different partners, seeking the good in it to chase away the bad memories and replace them with good ones." He gave her a hopeful look. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Juri couldn't believe it, but his words made sense, and she did indeed find herself understanding him. He was covering the horrors of his past with the beauty one found in love making, finding the goodness in sex instead of dwelling on his negative experiences in the act, trying to blot out the bad with the good.
"Yes," she admitted. "I get it. Now that you've explained it to me, I can see why you would seek out loving, physical affection wherever you could." She gave him a serious look. "But, Touga, there's a difference in the physical act of making love and love itself. You'll find physical gratification, yes, but that's merely carnal. If you're seeking love itself, to love and be loved by someone else, you won't find it by being a playboy. Making love is a way to express your love and desire for the person you love, but meaningless sex is just that, meaningless sex. You won't find real love that way."
A humorless chuckle escaped him. "Believe me, I'm well aware. After all, I did find real love. And, ironically, it's with a woman I haven't even slept with, and if anything, my attempt at finding love through physical means was something she didn't like about me. I think it was after I realized my feelings for her that I realized what I was really doing by sleeping around so much." Her have her a sad smile. "It's almost poetic, isn't it? Me falling for a girl that my charm didn't impress when they never failed to win over one before."
Juri sighed. "Then if she ever comes back, try being a real person with her instead of using the act you put on that landed you your past conquests. See if that works for you."
"That is the plan. To just be myself instead of the person I think I need to be to win her over." He gave her an inquiring look. "But right now, the one I'm hoping to win over is you. And no, I don't mean in that way."
Right, that had been why he had opened up about his past to her, in the hopes that she would come to understand him more so they could repair their friendship, or at least for them to become friendly with each other again. And while she did still regret sleeping with him, didn't like that Shiori had too, and still disapproved of his Casanova lifestyle and playboy nature, at least she didn't see him in such a negative light anymore.
"I wouldn't say you've won me over," she told him sincerely, "but you have given me a lot to think about."
He gave her an appreciative smile. "Well, that's a start I suppose. Just… try not to think too badly of me."
She cocked her head to the side. "While I do understand you better, I still disapprove of your womanizing, so you should work on that. But like you said, it's a start." Her expression became more sympathetic. "Thank you for trusting me with your past. I know it couldn't have been easy to talk about."
He nodded. "Just don't tell anyone. It's not exactly something I want everyone to know, but I trust you."
Now she nodded. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me."
"I appreciate that." He pushed off the wall. "Well, I believe I've kept you from your girlfriend for quite long enough." He turned and began walking away, holding up a hand in departure. "Enjoy you jog. I'll see you in Student Council."
Juri said nothing as she watched him leave, still trying to wrap her head around all this. It was true what she said, he did give her a lot to think about. But she couldn't dwell on it now, she was already late to meet with Shiori. So she turned and quickly made her way to their meeting location at the front of the school.
Shiori smiled and waved when she spotted her. Juri smiled as well and hurried over to her. "Sorry for keeping you waiting."
"That's ok," Shiori replied. "I got a few more stretches in. What happened? Did you get held up somewhere?"
Juri wobbled her head. "Sort of. I had a run-in with Touga. We had some things to work out."
A playful, teasing smile crossed Shiori's face. "Uh-oh. Working things out with your former lover. Should I be jealous?"
Smirking, Juri stepped closer and grasped Shiori's chin, planting a kiss to her lips. "Never. Even if I didn't have you, you know that I'm not into men."
"Didn't stop you before," the violet-haired girl joked.
Juri tapped her nose. "That was a one-time mistake that I regret. And that was because of you anyway. Besides, you're one to talk since it didn't stop you from sleeping with him either."
"Yeah, but I am into men. And women. But," she wrapped her arms around Juri's neck, interlocking her fingers behind her, "you're the only one for me."
Juri chuckled, and was surprised at how she had just been able to joke about both her and Shiori's past relations with Touga. Maybe that talk they had really had been good. Or maybe she was just distracted by the fact that her girlfriend was hanging onto her in her jogging suit.
"Well," she said, "unless you want me to drag you back to our room for a different kind of workout, we better get started."
Shiori's eyes shined merrily. "How about we save that for a post-workout workout?"
Juri placed another kiss to her lips. "You read my mind."
From there, they prepared to go for their run. Juri took a few minutes to do some stretching while Shiori admired the view, having already done her stretches while waiting for the orange-haired girl to arrive. And then they were on the move, jogging as they began making their rounds around the school. And it was a very large school.
"So…" Shiori panted as she ran alongside Juri, "what did… you and… Touga… talk about…?"
That, Juri knew, was not something she had the right to share, so she simplified her response as she jogged at a pace the violet-haired girl could keep up with. "I guess… you can say… we came to… an understanding…"
She couldn't and wouldn't give out any more detail than that, but it seemed to be enough for Shiori. "Well… I'm glad that… the two of you… made up…"
"I wouldn't… say that… exactly…" Juri replied truthfully. "But it's… a start…"
She still couldn't believe what he had told her about what had happened to him as a child. What kind of twisted individual could do such a thing to a child, let alone their own child? There really were some sick people in the world. And not that she had given much thought to having children, but if she ever did become a mother, she would never do something so horrific to her child, or any child for that matter.
With a glance at Shiori as they jogged along, she decided that having children wouldn't even be an issue. She saw no end to her relationship with Shiori, and seeing as they were both girls, having kids wasn't even an option. True, if they decided on it, they could always adopt, but that was still pretty far off; they were still in school after all. It was a possibility she was willing to explore later down the line though.
Outside of their discussion about Touga, they talked very little, their jogging making it difficult to hold a conversation. But as they jogged along, Juri couldn't help but notice that Shiori seemed particularly winded. Her color also seemed off making her look paler than usual, and she seemed to be struggling to continue at the pace they were going at.
"Hey… are you… ok…?" she asked, worried that she might be getting sick.
The violet-haired girl nodded. "Yeah… I'm… fine… Just feel… a little… tired… and lightheaded…"
Juri frowned and slowed her pace a bit. "Do you… want to… stop… for a while…?"
Shiori shook her head, a determined look crossing her face. "No… I can… keep going…"
As if to back up her claim, she sped up, bypassing Juri and kept going. The orange-haired girl gave her a concerned look before matching her pace, and they continued with their jog, though Juri continued to monitor her closely.
They managed to finish their workout, but by the end of it, Juri was even more concerned. Shiori seemed to be far more winded than usual, and here color had grown even worse. She was currently standing hunched over with a hand against the wall as she struggled to catch her breath.
Juri was bent over as well, her hands on her knees as she gave her girlfriend a worried look. "Are you… sure you're… ok…?"
Panting heavily, Shiori wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her arm and nodded. "Y-Yeah… I just… need some… some…"
She trailed off as she took her water bottle and began gulping down its contents. Her reassurance didn't help Juri's concern as she tried to figure out what was wrong. Taking a deep breath, she stood up straight and moved closer. "Shiori, you're looking very pale. I'm worried."
The violet-haired girl held up a finger, silently asking her to wait as she continued to drink. When she finished, she took a big gulp of air, her breathing seemingly having evened out. "I'm fine. Like I said, just lightheaded. I think I'm just having an off day. I've actually been feeling low on energy all day."
Juri frowned. "You're not getting sick, are you?"
Shiori shook her head. "I don't think so, I just…" She swayed on her feet. "Whoa, I just got really dizzy all of a sudden."
Juri's concern grew. "Shiori?"
The violet-haired girl placed a hand to her forehead as all the remaining color drained from her face. "I… I think I…"
She never finished as her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she suddenly collapsed in a dead faint.
"Shiori!" Juri cried out, rushing forward. She managed to catch her before she hit the ground. "Shiori! Shiori! Shiori!"
(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)
It was true, having something horrible happen to a person you loved was worse than having it happen to you. Granted, Juri wasn't sure that what happened to Shiori was something "horrible", as she didn't know what had happened, but considering that it had made her faint, it was definitely cause for concern.
After Shiori had passed out, when Juri couldn't get her to wake up, she had lifted her into her arms and carried her as she rushed to the nurse's office. Now she was currently pacing back and forth, waiting for any news and refusing to go anywhere, despite the nurse's insistence that she would take care of the violet-haired girl.
Juri's mind was racing a mile a minute as a thousand-and-one horrible scenarios ran through her head. What had happened to Shiori? She was envisioning every awful scenario possible, from a terrible disease to failing organs. Perhaps that was just her being paranoid, but she couldn't help it.
Taking a deep breath, she told herself to calm down. For all she knew, it could have been something simple. Maybe Shiori was simply sick; Juri hadn't exactly been able to check for a fever considering Shiori's body temperature would have gone up from their run. Or maybe her new diet had caused her to become anemic, though Juri doubted it since it consisted of all the necessary nutrients, so she should be getting enough iron in her diet. Or perhaps Shiori was simply a little sleep deprived; their love making had stretched late into the night.
That last thought caused Juri to blush, and she shook her head to rid herself of such thoughts. She told herself that she shouldn't worry until she was given information that said she should worry. But that was easier said than done. Seeing Shiori just pass out like that in front of her had been terrifying. How could she not worry?
Once again glancing at the clock, Juri brought her thumb to her mouth and began nibbling on her nail nervously. She wanted to march into the back room and demand answers from the nurse. But even if the nurse did have answers, she wouldn't be able to give them, as that would be a breach of doctor-patient confidentiality; nurse-patient confidentiality in this case. Juri was not privy to Shiori's medical conditions without permission from Shiori herself, regardless of the fact that they were girlfriends. She was just going to have to wait, no matter how hard that was.
Finally though, her waiting came to an end as the nurse entered the room. Juri immediately rushed over to her, barely stopping herself from grabbing the woman and demanding to know what was wrong with Shiori. Instead, she settled for asking, "Well?"
The nurse nodded. "She's fine. She's awake, and she's asking for you. You can go back and see–"
Juri rushed past the nurse before she even finished speaking and ran into the back room. She found Shiori sitting on one of the beds, looking fine, and a wave of relief fell over Juri. "Shiori."
The violet-haired girl looked up at her and smiled shyly. "Hi, Juri."
Without another word, Juri rushed over and threw her arms around her. She hugged her tightly for a few moments before pulling back and kissing her hard, heedless of whether anyone else was around to see them or not.
"Don't you ever scare me like that again," she whispered against her lips once the kiss ended.
Shiori gave her a bashful look and hooked her arms around Juri's neck.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I just suddenly got really dizzy, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up here."
Juri smiled softly and gently stroked her cheek. "I'm just glad you're alright."
The nurse chose that moment to enter the room and both girls turned to her.
"Is everything alright now?" Shiori asked. "Am I good to go?"
The nurse bit her lip, looking uncomfortable, and glanced down at her clipboard. "Well, yes, you're ok to leave, but…"
Juri frowned. "But what? There isn't anything wrong with her, is there? She's not sick, is she?"
The nurse hesitated, looking from her clipboard to Juri, then she glanced at Shiori questioningly. The violet-haired girl just nodded. "It's fine, you can talk with her here. I'll just end up telling her anything you say anyway."
A sigh escaped the nurse, but she nodded just the same and pushed her glasses further up her nose. "Very well, if you say so. Overall, you're fine, there's nothing actually wrong with you. It just seems that you've been pushing yourself a little too hard and not eating properly given your condition."
Juri's brow furrowed in confusion and she glanced at Shiori, but the violet-haired girl looked just as confused as her. "My condition? What condition?"
The nurse let out another sigh. "I'm actually rather surprised that you haven't figured it out yet, but, Miss Takatsuki, you're pregnant."
Those last two words hung heavily in the air. Both Juri and Shiori stared blankly at the nurse as what she said slowly registered to them both. Their blank expressions soon shifted to looks of shock, followed by utter bewilderment as they proceed this information.
"I'm… pregnant…?" Shiori asked in a hushed tone, looking as if she still hadn't fully processed the implication of those words.
The nurse nodded and glanced at her clipboard again. "Yes, a little over six months now. It seems that all the dieting and heavy exercising you've been doing the past two weeks has taken a bit of a toll on your body. Now, the good news is that both you and the baby are fine, but you'll need to be more careful so nothing happens to either of you. I would also recommend you getting an ultrasound test as soon as possible."
But the nurse's words had begun to fade out as Juri attempted to wrap her head around all this. Pregnant? Shiori was pregnant? A little over six months the nurse had said. But if she was that far along, then that could only mean…
Juri's eyes widened as a gasp escaped her. Ruka. Six months ago, Shiori had been dating Ruka, and she knew that the two of them had been sleeping together. That meant that Shiori was…
The violet-haired girl looked just as stunned as Juri. Her hands went to her slightly bulging stomach and she glanced down at it. "Pregnant?" She looked back up at the nurse and shook her head. "No, I'm not. This is just extra weight I put on because I was stress eating for a while. That's why I started dieting and exercising so much."
It looked as if the nurse wanted to either scoff or roll her eyes, but she did neither and only shook her head. "No, Miss Takatsuki, I'm afraid that's not weight gain from fat, that's your child growing. Now, I don't know what kind of stress you've been feeling, but what you think was you stress eating was almost certainly pregnancy cravings; a common symptom of being pregnant that starts as early as five weeks after conception, growing stronger during your third to sixth month, and then fading out after that."
Cravings, not stress eating. For as long as Juri had known Shiori, she had never known her to be a stress eater. She had chalked the violet-haired girl's eating habits over the past few months to be just that though given that the relationship they had entered and all the complicated emotions that had come with it.
Truthfully, Juri had been a little concerned for Shiori's weight gain. Ever since she had agreed to help her lose the extra weight two weeks ago, Shiori had been on a strict diet and intense exercise program, yet she had only gained more weight during that time. But if her weight gain was a result of a progressing pregnancy, then of course she would gain more weight. On that note, if pregnancy cravings stopped after the sixth month mark, then the timing for that will have had aligned up with when she went on her diet.
And speaking of emotions, Juri had chalked up Shiori's emotions to be purely related to her working through her feelings regarding their relationship. Her literally fighting Sakura came to mind as one of those instances, as did how upset she had become that time in the shower when she thought she was fat. Had those been mood swings as a result of her being hormonal?
"But… But… I can't be pregnant," Shiori insisted, a clear case of denial on her part. "I just can't."
The nurse cleared her throat. "Forgive me for asking, but are you sexually active?" She briefly glanced at Juri before adding, "With a boy I mean. Or were you around six or seven months ago?"
Juri watched as Shiori's eyes widened as the reality of the situation finally seemed to hit her. Had she not put together the timeline in her head of when she had been with Ruka and how far along she was?
"But… that was…" the violet-haired girl muttered.
"About six months ago, maybe a little more?" the nurse finished for her. She then raised an eyebrow. "Did you not notice that you weren't having your period?"
Color filled Shiori's cheeks and she averted her eyes. "N-No. I was… distracted."
The nurse raised a questioning eyebrow. "And you didn't notice anything else? The hardening of your stomach? The growth and tenderness of your breasts? Nothing?"
"I just said I was distracted!" Shiori retorted. "And no, the thought of pregnancy never occurred to me. There were lots of other things going on in my life that I was focusing on."
Now some color filled Juri's cheeks as well. Yes, with everything Shiori had been focusing on, from her breakup with Ruka, to trying to make up with Juri, to working out her feelings, it was understandable that she could overlook such a thing. Quite frankly, 'lots of other things going on' seemed like a pretty big understatement.
"But, six months," Shiori continued. "Shouldn't I be… bigger if I'm that far along?"
The nurse wobbled her head as way of response. "Not necessarily. I suppose a fair number of women would be bigger at six months than you are now, but it's nothing to be concerned about or too out of the ordinary."
To emphasize her point, she removed from her clipboard a paper that had illustrations of a pregnancy from one to nine months. The sixth month illustration had a noticeable bulge in the woman's stomach, but if one thought that they were merely gaining weight from eating poorly, then it could be mistaken for a growing gut rather than a baby bump.
"Protrusion really begins between fourteen to twenty-seven weeks, usually within the fifth month," the nurse explained. "You'll find in the months that follow that there will be a much more apparent growth. All perfectly normal."
Shiori still seemed to be trying to deny what the nurse was telling her. "But still… six months… Wouldn't I have, I don't know, felt kicking or something by now?"
Once more, the nurse wobbled her head as she returned the picture to her clipboard. "Well, that depends. You usually start to feel movement between sixteen and twenty-four weeks. Since your pregnancy seems to be on the later end of things, I'd say you should start to feel your baby start moving very soon." She shrugged. "Or it's even possible that you have felt movement but just didn't know what it was since you didn't know you were pregnant."
"What about morning sickness?" Juri asked as the thought suddenly occurred to her. "She hasn't had any of that." She glanced at Shiori questioningly. "Have you?"
The violet-haired girl shook her head. "No, none."
The nurse just shrugged at this. "Also not out of the ordinary. Despite common misconception, the truth is that only about seventy percent of pregnant women experience morning sickness. I guess you were one of the ones who fell in the thirty percent that don't. Lucky you. In fact, some women don't have any pregnancy symptoms whatsoever and only figure out that they're with child in their fifth or sixth month when their stomach starts growing and they get examined. Seems this was the case with you for the most part."
Shiori's mouth opened and closed in response to this, as if she wanted to say something, but either couldn't or didn't know what to say. Juri was of a similar state of mind, rendered speechless and not knowing what to say. This was… so unexpected. But now that it was all pointed out, it almost seemed obvious. How had they not figured it out before? How had the possibility never even occurred to them? Had they both really been so distracted by everything going on that they hadn't seen the signs or even suspect anything?
The nurse looked back and forth between the two of them. Her discomfort was evident, and she cleared her throat in an obvious indication of intended departure. "I'll, um, I'll just leave the two of you alone for a bit to talk. Miss Takatsuki, I know that this has come as quite of a shock, but if you have any questions or concerns regarding your… condition, please feel free to stop by and ask me anything."
With that, she made her escape, leaving the two girls alone. Juri had absolutely no idea what to do or say and could only seem to stare at the door the nurse had left through. But after several long moments, she felt a small tug on her shirt and looked down to see Shiori gripping it. She glanced at the violet-haired girl as she seemed to be staring off into space as tears began to fill her eyes.
"Pregnant…" Shiori whispered. "Dear God, I'm actually pregnant." Her tears began to fall down her cheeks as she turned to the orange-haired girl, her eyes terrified and desperate. "Juri…"
She sounded so small, so lost. Juri couldn't blame her. To suddenly have such a bomb dropped on you, Juri could hardly imagine it. She wanted to reach out and comfort her, to tell her that everything would be alright, but she had no idea what to say. "Shiori…"
"It's Ruka's," Shiori gasped out, as if this suddenly registered to her, and she reached up to grab her head, looking on the verge of a panic attack. "Oh, God, it's Ruka's! Not only does the timing line up, but aside from him, the only other guy I slept with was Touga, and that was months before Ruka."
Juri's fists clenched as a wave of anger broke through her stupor. Ruka. Damn him. It wasn't enough for him to use and manipulate Shiori the way he did, but he had been careless when sleeping with her, taking no precautions. And while Shiori shared the blame in that, as she clearly hadn't taken the proper precautions either, it was easier to be angry with and cast the blame on him since he had just been using her. Plus, he wasn't the one who was now stuck with the consequences.
"Oh God, oh God, oh God! Juri, what am I going to do?" Shiori exclaimed, now sounding on the verge of a panic attack as well. "How did I not realize it!? Why wasn't I more careful? I'm pregnant and I'm still in school! And Ruka's dead! My baby's father is dead! How am I supposed to do this on my own!?"
"You're not alone," Juri insisted. "I'm here for you."
But it seemed that Shiori either didn't hear her or simply didn't register her words in her panic. "What'll I do!? What'll I do!? I can't get rid of it; it's my baby! But… I'm too young to have a baby! I'm still in school! How can I be expected to have a baby right now!? And by myself!" She gasped suddenly. "What'll I tell my parents!? They're going to be so disappointed in me! What if they cut me off or disinherit me or something!? What if they make me give it up!? I can't do that, Juri! I can't, I can't!"
Her eyes widened in further realization. "Oh God, and what of Ruka's family!? What if his parents try and gain custody of it!? They lost their son, so what if they want to raise their grandchild as their own!? They could try and claim that I'm too young or too irresponsible to take care of a baby right now! No, I won't let them! I can't let anyone take my baby!"
She was spiraling, Juri realized. She wasn't even sure if Shiori was aware of her surroundings anymore right now as she began to hyperventilate. This was most definitely a panic attack now, and Juri couldn't really blame her. She had to put a stop to it before it got worse. And if her words weren't reaching her…
Raising her hand, Juri slapped Shiori across the face. That got her to stop her rambling. She blinked a few times and awareness returned to her eyes as she looked up at the orange-haired girl. And while the slap had snapped Shiori back to coherency, the reddening of her cheek had Juri wincing.
"Get ahold of yourself, Shiori," she told her sharply. "We can figure this out… I'm sorry for slapping you."
The violet-haired girl's hand went to her red cheek. "No, it's fine. Thanks for that; I needed it." She took a deep breath and let it out in a long rush of air. "You're right, I need to stay calm and be rational."
Juri nodded. "Yes, now let's talk about this."
Shiori nodded too. "Yes, let's." But then her bottom lip began trembling as more tears filled her eyes. "Oh, Juri, how could I have been so stupid? I actually thought my pregnancy cravings was stress eating."
"It could have been both," Juri pointed out. "Or at least the stress made you not care about your cravings."
But Shiori just shook her head. "I was just being ignorant. I should have known the difference between my stomach growing because of a baby and just plain getting fat. I even thought my breasts getting bigger was a result of me putting on weight. And my mood swings, I thought I was just being emotional because of everything that was going on. And how did I not notice that I wasn't getting my period? Looking back now, aside from no morning sickness, several signs were there. How did I not figure out that I was pregnant?"
Juri gave a small shrug as she too once again wondered how she hadn't picked up on it either. "It's like you said, we were very distracted with other things going on. And there were circumstances that allowed us to overlook the signs."
"Six months, Juri. Six months."
Another shrug. "A lot was going on."
That didn't seem to make Shiori feel better as she looked away again. "Pregnant… Pregnant… I can't believe…"
Sitting down beside her, Juri took her hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze. "It's ok, Shiori. This is… very unexpected, but I know you can do this; you're stronger than you think."
Turning back to her, Shiori stared up at Juri with fearful, despairing eyes. "Juri… are you… going to leave me?"
Juri's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open in shock. "What? No! God, no! Why would you even think that?"
Shiori motioned to her stomach. "I'm pregnant, Juri. Pregnant."
Juri nodded. "Yes, I'm well aware."
"And you're ok with that?"
A sigh escaped Juri. "It was a shock for sure, but is it really any different from other couples who end up with unexpected pregnancies." Looking down at Shiori's stomach, Juri gently placed her hand over it. "This baby is half you, Shiori. How could I not love it?"
"But it's also half Ruka."
"A mere biological mishap, easily overlooked." She gave the violet-haired girl a smile, letting her know that she was trying to lighten the mood. "It's true that I have some pretty big hang-ups when it comes to Ruka, but a child does not choose their parents. So how could I ever fault it for that?"
"Then… it really doesn't bother you?"
With another sigh, Juri wrapped an arm around Shiori and pulled her close. "Not about you or the baby. If anything, I'm upset with Ruka for his indifference in what would happen to you after he was done with you. But that's not your fault, or the baby's, so I can't fault either of you for that."
Shiori leaned against her and brought up a hand to grip Shiori's shirt. "I'm scared, Juri," she whispered.
And Juri certainly didn't blame her. She was scared too. "It'll be hard, but I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere, Shiori. We'll get through this together."
"It won't be just the pregnancy though," Shiori replied as she sat up and gave her a desperate look. "I can't get rid of it, Juri. I just can't. It's my baby. My baby. I know I just found out about it, but how can I be expected to give up my baby?"
Juri placed her hands on her shoulders and gave her a serious look. "I would never expect you to. I know it's an inconvenient having this happen now while we're still in school, but we can get through it."
Suddenly, the irony of the timing for this occurred to her and she let out a small chuckle. "You know, it's funny. Just earlier today, I was thinking about the future of whether or not you and I would have kids, and that we would need to adopt if we decide we wanted any. But I guess we don't need to worry about that anymore."
A light, humorless chuckle escaped Shiori. "That is ironic timing." But then she frowned and gave the orange-haired girl a sad look. "Will you really be able to be with me when I'm having a baby that's not yours?"
Juri's first thought was to assure her girlfriend that no, the baby's father didn't change how she felt about her, or the baby, but then the question sparked a memory of another conversation they'd had, and the thought process that her mind was taking made her smile.
"Shiori, do you remember what you said to me when I was upset about you losing your virginity to Touga?" she asked.
The violet-haired girl blinked, clearly not remembering. "Huh?"
"You said that since I only went to Touga to get over you and that you went to him in order to steal Ruka from me that we both technically had our first time with Touga because of each other. Which, in an indirect way, meant that we lost our virginity to each other because we ultimately slept with the same person because of each other."
She saw that Shiori was trying to think back and watched as her eyes lit up in remembrance. "Oh, that."
"Well, does that not apply here as well? You told me that part of the reason you were with Ruka was to distract yourself from your feelings for me. And Ruka was only with you because of me. So he really only slept with you because of me. Meaning that, technically, I'm the reason you got pregnant."
Shiori stared at her for a few moments and Juri could tell she was trying to follow the logic in her reasoning. She saw the moment it clicked in Shiori's head by the way her eyes widened, and the violet-haired girl let out a small chuckle. "Did you really use the same leaps in logic I used back then to apply to this scenario?"
Juri gave a playful shrug. "Does it not apply? Ruka slept with you because of me. That means that you got pregnant because of me. Which, indirectly, technically makes me the father."
Shiori raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Really? The father?"
"Oh, you know what I mean. I'm saying that I can view myself as just as much of a parent to this child as you, and certainly more of one than Ruka." Especially since there as a pretty good chance that he would have wanted nothing to do with the baby since he had only been using Shiori and clearly didn't care what became of her, but she wasn't going to say that. "You're mine, Shiori. And if this baby is a part of you, then that means that this baby is mine too. Just consider me Mom Number Two."
That earned her another small chuckle from Shiori. "I really don't deserve you, Juri. I love you."
Drawing Shiori up against her again, Juri pressed a kiss into her hair. "And I love you. Don't worry, Shiori, everything will be fine. We'll get through this together. We're hardly the only people to become parents while still in school And, fortunately for us, we come from wealthy and influential families."
She felt the violet-haired girl tense up in her arms, and Shiori once again gripped her shirt. "Families. Juri, what am I going to tell my parents? I just know that they're going to be disappointed in me. Getting pregnant while not being married, and while still in school at that, how irresponsible and disgraceful. What if they really do demand that I give it up? Even if they don't, what if they don't support me or cut me off. They might just decide to disinherit or disown me completely if I don't give it up. Then what am I going to do?"
Taking her hands in both of hers, Juri gave her a serious look. "I don't think that will happen, but even if it does, I'll take care of you. My parents won't cut me off; I know that. So if I have to, I'll support all three of us if it comes to it."
Shiori squeezed her hands, the look on her face letting Juri know just how much she appreciated this. "Juri, I can't just depend on you."
The orange-haired girl's brow furrowed determinedly. "Why not? Partners rely and depend on each other in all things. That means we're in this together. I'm never going to leave you, Shiori. Never. Not you, and not the baby." She glanced down at Shiori's stomach. "The way I see it, that baby is mine just as much as it is yours, and I love it already. It's our baby, Shiori, ours. I'm going to take care of both of you no matter what anyone says."
"But, Juri…" Shiori began, then closed her eyes and turned away. "I don't know. I almost feel like I'll be taking advantage of you. And I know other people will certainly see it that way."
"Well, they're wrong. I won't be taking care of you, we'll be taking care of us." Reaching out, she cupped Shiori's cheeks, turning her to face her again. "Marry me, Shiori."
The violet-haired girl's eyes snapped open and she looked at Juri in shock. "What?"
"Marry me," Juri repeated. "If we get married, then there will be no problem, and no one can say anything."
Shiori just stared at her, clearly unable to believe what she was hearing. "But…we're both girls."
Juri's eyes narrowed in determination. "So what? Two girls can get married, just as two guys can. It may be frowned upon, but it's still allowed. I know we're still young, but we can have a long engagement. So, marry me, Shiori, be my wife."
Once again, Shiori simply stared at her, her eyes wide and uncertain. But then her expression became sad and she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Juri, but I can't marry you."
Her words made Juri feel like her heart had just been ripped out. But then she realized that her response wasn't a "no", it was a "can't". There was a difference. And the look of sadness and heartbreak on Shiori's face was also worth noting.
"Why not?" she asked. "We love each other, don't we?"
"Of course," Shiori immediately responded. "I love you more than anything, Juri. But isn't it too soon to think about marriage? We've only been dating for five months."
Juri squeezed Shiori's hands. "So what? We may have only been dating for five months, but we've known and loved each other for years. We've always longed for each other and wanted to be together. We've always been best friends and have been involved in each other's lives. Even when you were overseas, our hearts and minds were always with each other."
She could see the violet-haired girl was considering her words, and so she addressed Shiori's other concern. "Why does there need to be some required time length of dating quota? Some arranged marriages last and are very successful even when the couple meets for the first time on the day of the wedding, and some marriages don't last even though the couple had been dating for years. All courting periods are really meant for is for both parties to get to know each other to see if they're compatible and to work out their feelings for each and decide if they really want to spend the rest of their lives with the other person and make sure both are ready for that kind of commitment at that point of their lives."
She shifted close, looking into Shiori's eyes as she spoke. "But we know how we feel about each other, Shiori. We know what we want, and we know each other, have known each other for most of our lives. We've seen each other at our absolute worsts and even hurt each other horribly, yet at the end of it, our love came out even stronger and we're now closer than ever. We know we're meant to be. Us having a lengthy dating period would really just be a formality."
Tears were appearing in Shiori's eyes again and her bottom lip started trembling. "That may all be true, but I still can't marry you."
Juri noted that she had used the same terminology and decided to get to the heart of the matter. "You said 'can't', not 'won't'. Why can't you Shiori?"
"Because I don't want to get married like this!" Shiori suddenly cried. "I don't want you to propose to me just because I'm pregnant! I don't want us to get married because it would be convenient or beneficial! I can't marry you for such a reason, Juri! I won't!"
The tears were now running down her cheeks again as she tried to get control of herself. She sniffed a few times and a hiccup escaped her. "If we get married, I want it to be because it's what we both want. I would want to marry you because you want to spend the rest of your life with me." She pulled her hands free and began wiping her eyes, but the tears kept coming. "I want you to propose because you want to and for no other reason."
She continued to futilely wipe at her eyes, looking truly distressed. Juri, meanwhile, was mentally scolding herself as she realized what she did wrong. In light of the revelation of her pregnancy, of course Shiori would assume she was only proposing to her now because of the baby. Who wouldn't think that? But that hadn't been the reason behind her proposal at all. She had been careless with her words.
"Shiori," she said gently, and slipped off the bed and onto the floor where she kneeled in front of her. "That wasn't why I proposed."
Still sniffling, the violet-haired girl lowered her hands from her eyes. "What do you mean?"
Giving her a tender smile, Juri reached up and stroked her cheek. "Silly, Shiori. Don't you know how much I would love to marry you? I want to marry you because it's what I wanted. It's what I've wanted for as long as I can remember. You being pregnant doesn't change anything. I always planned on proposing to you. I've wanted to propose to you ever since you told me you loved me. I just thought we were a little young, so I was planning to wait, but whether it's tomorrow or ten years from now, it makes no difference, it's still what I want. Finding out you're pregnant simply gave me the incentive to ask you now instead of waiting. I'd be married to you already if I could."
She once again took Shiori's hands in hers. "Please don't think that this proposal is out of a sense of responsibility or sympathy or obligation or for any other reason than because I want to. I swear, this baby changes nothing about what I want. Yes, us getting married will be more convenient and beneficial regarding your pregnancy, but that's not why I'm proposing at all."
She leaned in and pressed a light kiss to the violet-haired girl's lips. "I love you, Shiori. I want to marry you. I want us to be together forever. Not just the rest of our lives, but for all eternity." She brought Shiori's hands to her lips and kissed the back of them. "So, will you marry me, Shiori? Not because of the baby, but because it's what I want. And because it's what you want too, and for no other reason."
More tears spilled down Shiori's cheeks, only now they were no longer tears of distress. Her bottom lip continued to quiver, and her silent crying soon dissolved into open weeping. "Oh, Juri! Juri!" She slid off the bed and fell into the orange-haired girl's arms. "Juri, I love you so much! I'm sorry I misunderstood!" She pressed her face into Juri's chest as she continued to weep. "Yes, Juri, I'll marry you! I don't want us to ever be apart! And I promise, I'll love you forever!"
She hugged the orange-haired girl tightly as she continued to cry. Juri's own arms wrapped around Shiori as well, holding the girl she loved close. And as they knelt on the floor in a tight embrace, a mixture of fear and euphoria filled Juri as the full realization hit her.
She and Shiori had just become engaged, and they were now expecting a baby.
(A/N: So, yeah, a whole bunch of stuff happened this chapter. Let's start with the trigger warning part I mentioned at the beginning. In case you haven't figured it out, yes, I was referring to Touga being molested as a child. This was not an original idea from me though. This came from the Adolescence Of Utena movie. It may be non-canon and was absolutely horrible, but it did expand on Touga's past by revealing this. And it really makes sense and explains why he is the way he is, from his playboy womanizing ways to his desire for power for the sake of having power, and it explains why he and Nanami were adopted. So even though the movie was non-canon, I took what they did with his character in it and worked it into this story to provide a better understanding of him. And it seems that him opening up to Juri like this helped her gain a better understanding of him and helped repair their sort-of friendship. But let's move onto the other big thing. Shiori's pregnant. Six months pregnant to be exact. With Ruka's child too. And while it may seem unlikely that she wouldn't have known about it at this point, I did research, and yes, everything I put in there regarding pregnancies and symptoms and such is true. Granted, it's somewhat rare that a woman wouldn't know that she's pregnant at six months, but if the conditions are right, yes, there are cases where they don't know they're pregnant, especially if they're not showing that much at that point. So, yeah, things just took a massively complicated turn. But on another note, it gave Juri the initiative to propose to Shiori. And yes, as both girls acknowledged, they are still pretty young, but as Juri said, they can have a long engagement. But for now, we've got a lot to work on with this unexpected turn, so stay tuned for more.)