The thirtieth of May, 2018 is when this memory began for me, but truly took place over the whole duration of that summer. Conrad and I had gotten out of school the day prior and drove up to cousins for the summer this day. We usually arrive at the beach house a day or two before the cocklins so Conrad and I have to hang out with each other. This summer, I was 11 and Conrad was 13. For the past couple months, Conrad had been talking to a girl that he met on Instagram who lived in Cousins and was planning on meeting up with her today. This left me having to hang out by myself. Being the mama's boy I was, I decided to go to the beach to collect shells for mom. I had walked along the sand for five minutes when I saw another boy about my age. I was very shy at the time, but something about this boy made me want to talk to him. I walked up to him and introduced myself. He told me that his name was Braylon and he was 12 years old. He was on vacation with his family in Cousins for 3 weeks. I asked him if he wanted to be my friend and he said why not. He took his phone out and had me put my number in. His mom then told him it was time to get ready for dinner and he ran away. I stood there for a few seconds watching him walk away. That whole night, I couldn't stop thinking about Braylon. He was so cool and I just felt like I wanted to be with him all the time. I had lots of friends back home, but something about Braylon felt different. I fell asleep that night thinking about all the things I wanted to do with Braylon, and woke up to a text from a random number on my ipad. I opened it up and it read "Im at da beach wanna come down." I started freaking out. I just knew the text had to have been from Braylon. I threw on the first pair of swim trunks I saw and ran out the door. Conrad and mom were still asleep but to me, Braylon was more important. I walked along the beach for around 5 minutes to get to the place where I found Braylon yesterday. When I saw him lying in a beach chair, I ran to go greet him. That's basically how everyday went for the next three weeks. When Steven arrived, he joined us as well. Steven is my best friend, he always has been, but for some reason, I wanted to hang out with Braylon by myself. I wanted Braylon to be my property, which was strange because I am normally not clingy to my friends. On Braylons last night in Cousins, Laurel offered to take us to the arcade. Conrad, Steven, and Belly were super excited, but I wanted to stay back with Braylon, especially since Steven would not be there. Braylons parents normally wouldn't let him stay out late but because it was his last night, they agreed to let go to the boardwalk together. We met up at his rental house and his parents walked us there. Braylon and I played carnival games all night. At one point, I even won a stuffed elephant that I gave to him as a souvenir. When the sun started to set, we walked back to his house together. When we got to his driveway, he walked up close to me and said goodbye. I looked into his eyes for a few seconds, then kissed him. After I did it, I had instant regret. I had never liked a boy before and was very confused. Braylon pushed me over and started to scream "Ew what the fuck man! Are you gay or something!" My knee started to bleed from the fall as I watched him run inside. I sat in his driveway and cried. I didn't mean to ruin our friendship, something just came over me. I wondered why I even had this impulse in the first place, I liked girls so I wasn't gay. I ran back to my house sobbing, slamming the door when I walked in. Laurel was sitting on the couch reading a book. I immediately saw a scared look come over her face from seeing me in this condition. I sat down next to her and she hugged me. She told me I didn't have to tell her what was wrong, which was very comforting to me. I couldn't tell anyone about this, I felt like a freak. Looking back now, I wish I couldve told myself that everything was okay, and stuff like this was normal. That was the night I realized that I was bisexual.