After leaving Dumbledore's portrait, I numbly walked back down the main staircase. Children were milling around, and I wanted nothing more than to run out of here.

I had one more stop before leaving the castle. I'm just not sure where to find him.

I head to the great hall, see that lunch had been served and finished. I walk the long walk back to the dungeon.

I find him working on paperwork at his old desk.

I don't bother knocking. I just don't care at this point.

"I've just had a chat with Dumbledore," I say as a greeting.

Severus stops mid-writing, places his quill down, and lifts his head to look at me.

I also had the misfortune of chatting with him earlier.

Where did you go this morning? I came back in and you had left.

"This is a lot, Hermione," he says, rubbing his forehead.

"Yes, I appreciate that. He's told me everything. I need to know what you want to do now." I move to cover his hand with mine, and he pulls back from me.

I'm not too sure what to trust at this point, Hermione.

"What on earth does that mean?" I ask.

"Let's be honest here. You were the one who insisted on carrying out this jump. You worked night and day for it, and I was against you being the Guinea pig from the start. So, I have to ask you, were you in on it?"

I froze. "What?"

"I have to know, were you aware that they were going to send you back further?"

"No, of course not. How could you possibly think that of me!"

He rose from his chair and paced the room.

"It doesn't make any sense. I had already worked for the order!"

He shouted, "He already had me!"

"I just can't believe he would do that. I've gone around and around in my head. I can't believe he'd rip away the only good thing in my life. I just can't process it. I just can't believe he would do that to me."

I stood there with my hands spread out in front of me, trying to show my innocence. But then something just clicked in me. Maybe I was hungry, or maybe I was just so fucking over this shit.

I don't know, maybe I was just bone-tired.

I was just so over it.

"But do you believe I would do that to you? "

My voice is like ice; it doesn't even sound like my own.

"You think," I continue, "I would rip our life and marriage apart for what? Glory? Recognition? A re-run at my Owls? WHAT!" I shout.

I'm shocked at my own rage!

"How dare you!" I said through gritted teeth.

Scaring myself at how deadly I sound.

I steady myself on the back of the sofa. Tunnel vision affects my eyes as the whoosh of blood in my ears spikes my blood pressure. Fuming, there isn't even a word to describe the betrayal I feel in this moment. A voice in my head says, "Just breathe, Hermione, just breathe."

I'm back in the shrinking shack, blood seeping through my fingers from the massive wound on his neck. "Stay with me, Severus. Just breathe. Please, just keep breathing," I cry. Riffling through my bag one-handed, I pull out blood replenishers and Bozars, massaging his neck to make him swallow them. "Please, please don't die. Severus, stay with me," I beg.

He tries to say something but coughs, and dark blood spatters up and over my face, then dribbles down his chin—his eyes frantically searching for something or someone.

I lean closer to him, knowing there's nothing left in my little bag of tricks, nothing left to try. His eyes lock into mine. "Stay with me, darling. It's okay. I'm here," I whisper. "Keep breathing. That's right. I won't leave you. I promise. Fight, Severus. Fight it, please, Severus, please."

I'm back in our room; the flashback vision had only taken a second to replay. I look down at my hands, fully expecting them to still be covered in blood.

They aren't, but my shaking, clean hands make me want to run as far away as possible.

Like a drunk person, I clamber to leave the room.

"Wait, Hermione, stop."

I stop mid-step. "There is nothing left to say, Severus." I don't even turn to speak to him, feeling deflated and completely defeated.

I continue out the door.