Chapter 28 - Overhearing a Ballad

It really surprised me that even after just a few hours of being in this hotel, it felt like it was changing my personality and my mood altogether. For starters, this was because the whole aura and the decorations in this place brought back memories. Walking around the hotel in a flowy white buttoned shirt, denim shorts and plimsolls made me feel like I was back in my real home in Bucharest in a blazing hot summer where the insides of brightly coloured, regal looking buildings cooled me down and made me feel as if the cool wind was blowing through my hair and drying the sweat off my scalp.

This truly was one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen and I felt very honoured to feel like I was being waited on hand and foot. The only difference between feeling like I was in a place like this as an adolescent and a child was that I didn't feel as hot as I did last time and I wasn't enjoying the moment as much. Yes, it was hot, but I didn't feel at all bothered, well at least not bothered in this case. Something had just stuck into my brain within about half an hour of arriving at our hotel which had made me completely change my mind about the beauty of this place.

It may have looked sunny outside from our hotel as I stared out the window at the sparkly waves on the nearby beach, even though it was currently four o'clock in the afternoon, but the sun shining did nothing to my emotions, and by that, I mean it didn't make me feel cheerful or happy anymore, which, in my opinion, was what the sunshine was supposed to do, instead, I just kept on sighing heavily and staring into space. Every so often, a warm breeze would gently blow through the gap in the open window and make me feel comforted, but only for a couple of seconds.

Why was I feeling so empty and inactive, you might still be wondering? Well, at this point in time, there was only one thing in my mind that couldn't prise itself away, and that thought was tied to my girlfriend Gracie. Actually, I didn't even know whether to call her my girlfriend anymore because we were never going to see each other again, let alone express our love to each other. Oh, how I wanted her so badly right now. Yes, I had just returned to the hotel and had been reunited with Larry and Iggy, but…I don't know, I think I was maybe too quick to leave the jungle after the show ended.

Maybe I should've stayed there for a little bit longer instead of having it away right when I was given the cue. I just had to be reminded of Gracie right here, right now. I felt so guilty for running across that bridge so quickly, not just because I was leaving Jack behind, but I was leaving behind lots of memories of me and Gracie spending time together. Oh god… I let a soft whimper escape my lips and I buried my face in my hands, feeling a strong needle of guilt and regret jab into my heart. Why, just why couldn't I have used my brain for one moment?

Just then, I heard a knock on the door of the bedroom and it made me jump. "Come in!" I exclaimed, momentarily feeling embarrassed at how shocked and pathetic I sounded.

The door opened with a soft creak and Larry stepped into the bedroom sporting a kindly smile, but it soon faltered upon meeting my contrasting facial expression.

"Hey. You've…been in here quite a while. Are you feeling okay?" he asked.

I didn't know what it was, but there was just something about the way that question was asked that made me not want to make eye contact with Larry during this moment. I slowly rose up from the basket chair I was sitting on, walked over to one of the double beds and sat cross legged on top of the pure white covers. Right now, it was as if I were being sucked into a daydream where all I could think about was things that I should've done but didn't do throughout these past few hours. They would just not leave me alone, and yes I was aware of Larry moving closer and sitting on the bed with me, but I just couldn't get these thoughts out of my system, and I knew I had to, but how?

Suddenly, there came the distorted sound and sight of Larry's fingers clicking in front of my face. Gradually, the sights and sounds became less obscure and I finally blinked my way back into consciousness. Once I looked up from the covers and up at my best friend, I let out a deep sigh, which made Larry move a little closer to me, and now that I felt in a completely different mindset after that zone out, comfort was all I needed.

"Lud, what's wrong?" Larry asked me softly before I could make the first move. "What are you thinking about?"

My eyes widened and I opened my mouth a little. "How did you know I was thinking?" I asked, but after a few moments, I cringed because if my zone out wasn't a symptom of deep thought, then what the hell else was it? At last, I admitted defeat and let out a heavy sigh. "All right… I'm still having thoughts about Camp, and they're not good."

Larry's brow furrowed and he adjusted his position so he was lying down on the bed. "Why not? Not to make you feel bittersweet or anything, but didn't you have lots of happy memories there like that karaoke thing you told me about and finally expressing your love to Gracie?"

I nodded, feeling those memories hit me like a tidal wave. "I know, but…I'm just thinking about all the things I should've done, but didn't do."

"Really? Like what?"

I brushed a hand through my freshly washed hair and laid down on the bed as well. "Like…how right at the end, I was so desperate to see you and Iggy after so long and I didn't even realise it, but I was moving out the jungle fast and…I feel so bad. I've probably left Jack alone thinking that I've put up with him and that all the nice things I said about him were all fake."

Larry put on a thoughtful face. "In that context, I can kind of get your point, but just listen to the way I would interpret it and make it sound a lot better. If Jack thought you were a bad listener and a bad friend, do you think he would've given you his address?"

"No…" I said slowly after some hesitation. "I wouldn't have thought so, no."

"Exactly." Larry replied. "So I think Jack misses you just as much as you miss him."

I nodded, that latter comment bringing something else to my mind…about Gracie. "And…I also want to talk about Gracie and things I didn't do to her."

"Oh, okay. Go ahead."

"I…I never told her that I loved her sooner, and that's what I should've done. I shouldn't have left her in the dark for so long only for her to confess her love to me first." I groaned in frustration and rested my chin on my hands, which made Larry wrap an arm around me.

"Hey…don't think about it that way. It's obvious that you're angry at yourself about this, but there's no need to be. At least now you both know you love each other, and you know it in here." Larry prodded my chest, trying to signal where my heart was. "By the way, we have dinner in twenty minutes and trust me, the restaurant in this hotel has quite the menu. That'll take your mind off these thoughts and fill you up after being starved."

I stopped for a moment to think about all the possible meals I could be given and my mouth began to break into a smile and salivate, which made Larry smile as well.

"That's it, man." he said. "Think of things that make you happy, like that hot bath you've just had, and all those warm hugs me and Iggy gave you when you first came back here…which we had to hold our noses through."

I chuckled, stood up from the bed and slipped my feet into my comfortable white plimsolls, the thought of food now engulfing half of my brain. Just at that moment, my stomach let out a deafening growl. Having not eaten proper food for three weeks, I was utterly starving and I knew I had to eat something soon otherwise just from standing up from a chair, I would most likely fall down in a faint. I couldn't wait to eat properly again, so I let out an involuntary sharp exhale of excitement and briskly walked out the door of the hotel room, desperate to get first dibs on whatever was available.

…

"How's your dinner, Lud? Is it okay?" Iggy asked me, eating a forkful of spaghetti.

I didn't reply as I was too busy shovelling food into my mouth and chewing so fast that after a while, my jaw began to ache. At last, I replied, "Mhm. If you even put couscous in front of me, I would think it tastes nice."

I dug my fork into a meatball and shoved it into my mouth, letting out a moan of pleasure as I felt my taste buds tingling from having the lack of sensing this wonderous flavour, but it was when a few moments passed when I took note of my behaviour. More specifically, the way I was eating. After I had chewed up the meat, I sat up straight at the table, crossed my legs, swallowed it politely and cringed a little.

"I'm being so rude and unmannerly right now." I whispered to Larry. "I mean, I should've seen myself there sooner, greedily shovelling meatballs into my mouth as if they're going to disappear into thin air before I get the chance to taste them. And in a fancy restaurant, no less!"

"That's all right." Larry whispered back. "Don't worry about that. Some of the people in here may recognise you and they'll go, "Oh, nevermind him. He's this year's winner of 'I'm A Koopa'," and, "Oh, bless his little cotton socks, he must be so hungry.""

I smiled. "Maybe people will think like that, but for future reference, I'll try to be more polite." And with that, I carried on eating my meal slowly and politely. When I had finished, I decided that I needed a little bit of time to myself and let myself be free, so I slowly stood up from my seat and said, "Um, do you guys mind if I go and take a little walk around the hotel?"

My friends affirmed and I turned to walk out of the restaurant to take this 'little walk'. I was surprised that I hadn't noticed this before, but when I looked right up to the ceiling, it looked the same as that of a Catholic church except that expensive looking chandeliers hung from the ceiling and as I gazed at them in wonder, I felt as if I was in the heart of a beautiful palace fit for royalty. Oh my goodness… My childhood dream house looked exactly like this. I would always have dreams that I was of upper class, I went to private school, I lived in a posh stately home, and I genuinely had an amazing childhood.

Wow. I just had to explore more of this stunning palace. My legs took me on a journey past the stairwell to our hotel room, past the first lounge which I had to stop and get a good look at before I ended up finding a room with French doors and…oh my goodness, the interior looked beautiful, like a Greek or Roman palace. I just had to get a closer look. I placed my hands on both the golden French door handles and pushed them down, and much to my relief, the doors opened, leading me into the room.

Instantly, my eyes were curious to capture all the sights that were appealing. In front of me about ten feet away was a shiny black polished grand piano with a leather stool and a golden stick holding up its lid. In the bottom left hand corner was a trolley filled with colourful dresses and manly suits, and upon seeing that, the grand piano,and the polished, planked floor, it occurred to me that this was a ballroom, and quite a newly renovated ballroom at that. I sniffed the air and I noticed that the room smelled of gloss paint and oak wood, but I didn't mind. If anything, I felt as if it fitted with the cool atmosphere more.

I exhaled loudly and that was when I noticed a grave echo bounce off the walls and it prompted a deafening silence to follow. Good. That indicated that nobody else was in there to distract me from exploring this palace in greater detail, so, with my hands trembling with excitement, I carefully shut the doors behind me, causing a loud shunting sound to rattle about the room. Now it was just me and a stunning ballroom that caused a few tons of memories to come flooding back to mind.

I walked very slowly and further into the room, my eyes scanning over every beautiful detail of the decor, the paint and the chandeliers, the sound of every footstep I made provoking a different memory of living in a place like this to spark in my head. I remembered a little five year-old me back in Bucharest, all curious and inquisitive as to what was inside these huge, interesting buildings, and when I finally got the chance to have a sneak peak at the interiors, I would stay in there for hours at a time, dancing and skipping across the carpets, performing strange noises to hear their echoes, and most importantly, making memories with my mum.

This made me want to cry. It was true that now I had got the chance to be inside one of these buildings again, but the only difference was that…I didn't have anyone really special to share it with. Yes, I had Larry, but no offence to him, but we had made lots of happy memories together already. I was thinking about somebody more like Gracie. I knew I had made memories with Gracie back in the jungle, but considering how much I wanted her and loved her, those memories just weren't enough. I tried to tell myself that it just wasn't going to happen because Gracie was gone now, and gone forever.

That thought punctured deep into my heart and for a moment, I almost cried right on the spot, but I managed to gulp everything down and clear my throat. Briefly, I was left there sighing and staring ahead into space until my eyes caught sight of a dark blue poster on the wall and the words, 'Sing your heart out!' were emblazoned on it in vibrant gold letters. Sing my heart out… Hmm. There were many thoughts about Gracie that were swirling around in my mind at the moment and because I loved her so much, writing a love song about her and letting it all out in music was easy peasy.

I spent the next ten minutes pacing the floor, thinking about what the lyrics should be and finding a tune I could sing well to. At last, all the lyrics were stored in my head, but what was even better was underneath the lid of the grand piano were a few sheets of lined paper, and I set about writing all the lyrics down. My handwriting may have looked more scruffy and dishevelled than usual but at least I could read it. Within a few minutes, I had calmed down and prepared for this song I was about to perform. I had absolutely no idea why I was fretting about this, but I soon discovered that the reason why I was made uncomfortable at the very least was because of the concept of doing this just for myself with no intention of sharing it.

Nervously, I sat down at the grand piano, scrutinised and identified the right octave for the tune and played an A major chord a few times to remind myself of what note I had to start singing. At first, I noticed that my voice was shaky and wobbly to say the least, but as soon as I got to the chorus, my fingers were gracefully starting to dance across the keys and I was really getting into it.

"I love you so much, Gracie, you've made me the happiest I've ever been in years… I love you so much, Gracie, that my heart was terrified that I'd see you depart, and now I'm all alone and at risk of drowning in a sea of tears…"

I sang and played the tune over and over again. It seemed that I couldn't hear myself repeat those words enough times. That was how much I cared, but after some time, a thought came to me. Maybe after this one, you should stop because what if people can actually hear you? I made sure though that the last few words were sung slowly since I didn't want this moment to end too promptly. At last, all was quiet until the sound of rapid clapping filled my ears and it made me jump. I spun around on the stool and honestly, nothing could've prepared me for what I was about to see, or to be more specific, who I was about to see.

I gasped and took a moment to try and discover if this was actually who I thought they were, and I was right. It was Gracie. My girl…

"Ludwig!" she cried, and she started running towards me.

I scooped Gracie up into my arms and spun her around before gently placing her back down on the floor again, smiling so much I thought I was going to explode. "Oh my god. I…I never expected you to be in the same hotel as me!" I exclaimed, trying to comprehend what was happening.

"Well, I am!" Gracie laughed. "And it was an absolute godsend, discovering that I'd find you here…" She wrapped her arms around me and that was something that made me fall in love with Gracie all over again.

I returned the embrace and pulled her closer to me as I buried my nose into the crook of her neck, smelling her perfume and stroking her fresh, clean hair gently. I sighed contentedly and drew back, desperate to get a good look at my girlfriend's radiant face, all immaculately decorated with make-up, which I didn't think was necessary because to me, Gracie's natural beauty was one that had captured my heart forever, but nevertheless, she was gorgeous either way. I stared into her eyes, carefully reached up a hand, cupped her cheek up in it and caressed it gently, which made her giggle softly and close her eyes.

"Luddy?" she said suddenly.

"Yes?" I replied, gazing into her now open eyes.

"I want to have one last adventure with you…"

"Really?" I asked. "What kind of adventure? Where do you want to have it?"

Gracie turned away from me, looked out of the window where there was a perfect view of the local beach and she nodded towards it, which made me smile broadly at all the exciting activities we could do out on the sand, but that soon turned to surprise when Gracie grabbed hold of my hand and dragged me out of the ballroom laughing happily.

"Come on!"