When Rose awoke, something felt off. There was a hollowness in the air, an emptiness that settled deep in her bones, making every breath feel heavier than the last. Not that anything felt right these days. Ever since the counterspell, a strange, dull ache seemed to follow her like a shadow, gnawing at her constantly. The unsettling feeling of absence, of something missing, weighed on her chest, but she knew exactly what it was.
It was Giles. Or rather, the lack of him.
The moment the counterspell had taken effect, Giles had excused himself, leaving without a word. No explanations, no goodbyes. Just silence. He hadn't returned that night, and the emptiness left in his wake had been unbearable. Willow had tried to soothe her, assuring Rose that he was home safe, but she also mentioned that Giles had asked for time alone, promising to see everyone at school.
But Rose hadn't gone to school the next day. Or the day after that.
Her heart clenched painfully at the thought of him—the last kiss they had shared, the warmth of his hands on her skin, the way his lips had claimed hers in a whirlwind of desire and something deeper. Love, perhaps. Or at least, that's what it had felt like. But now, all of it was just a memory, an echo of something that had been ripped away too soon. The magnetic pull between them, the force that once bound their magic together, was gone. Now, all that remained was the hollow ache of a love she had never truly owned.
It felt like she had lost the love of her life, even though she had never been allowed to fully have him.
Dragging herself out of bed, Rose moved through the motions of getting ready for her first day back at school. Each movement felt mechanical, her body on autopilot while her mind wrestled with the gaping void inside her. She felt haunted by the words Ethan had left her with…
"You'd have dismissed it as a fleeting crush. And Rupert, well, he would've remained the saintly, rule-abiding Watcher."
A crush. That's all it could be now. Just a fleeting crush. But deep down, she knew it was not that simple. Not after everything they'd been through. The last kiss they had shared—the way his lips had lingered on hers, the surge of their connection, like wildfire—would haunt her for the rest of her life, because that, that could not be just a spell. She knew that, even if she didn't want to admit it. The idea that he could walk away from her, that it all might have been nothing more than a spell-driven illusion to him, made her chest ache with a profound sadness she couldn't shake.
"Rose, you ready to go?" Buffy's voice cut through the haze of her spiraling thoughts, jolting her back to the present. Rose was still brushing her hair, lost in the storm of her own mind.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry." She turned to face Buffy, noticing the weariness etched into her friend's features. "Buffy? Are you okay?"
Buffy looked tired, and something felt off, like the air around her was unsettled. "My dad blew me off."
Rose set down her brush and reached for her bag. "Your dad was coming?"
Buffy shrugged. "Yeah, but it's nothing. I'm still feeling off. I'm gonna check in with Giles once we get to school."
At the mention of his name, Rose's heart lurched painfully. Her hand froze mid-motion, gripping the strap of her bag as if it was the only thing tethering her to reality. Her breath caught in her throat, and for a moment, she had to force herself to exhale.
"But I should be the one asking if you're okay," Buffy said, stepping into the room with concern in her eyes. "You know we aren't going to let anything happen to you, right?"
Rose adjusted her glasses and slung the bag over her shoulder, sighing heavily. "I've just been feeling... off too… but I won't be checking in with Mr. Giles." Her voice wavered, the ache inside her too raw to suppress.
Buffy raised a brow. "Well, then we'll find Willow, because you're under friend arrest. No being alone allowed."
Rose let out a long, weary sigh, tipping her head back as she tried to gather herself. "I'm not going to run again. I've learned my lesson."
"Sorry, but that's the Watcher's orders: no being alone, especially with your creepy family lurking around. I swear, the ones who followed me on last night's patrol were like shadows. Do any of them ever like need to pee?"
Rose forced a small, humorless smile. "Unsure."
The ride to school blurred past in a haze of nerves and growing unease. Every emotion felt different now—sharper, and as they grew closer to their destination, Rose became more anxious. The fear of what might happen when she finally saw Giles again gnawed at her, twisting her stomach into knots. Would he look at her with indifference? Would he act like she was nothing now that the spell was broken? The very thought made her chest tighten with dread.
As they neared the school, her pulse quickened, every nerve on edge. Buffy and Joyce had insisted she return, thinking it was her family that kept her hiding away. But the truth was, Rose was terrified to see Giles again. She was scared of seeing the cold, empty look in his eyes—the look that would tell her the connection between them was truly gone. The look that would confirm she had meant nothing to him, after all, and that now she was alone in her feelings.
Pulling into the stall, Rose parked the car, and she and Buffy stepped out. As they approached the school, Xander greeted them.
"Happy birthday, Buffy!"
"Buffy! It's your birthday?" Rose quickly questioned, suddenly feeling like a terrible friend. "Why didn't you say anything? Oh, no, your dad—"
"It's all good, Rose," Buffy interrupted, adjusting her backpack. "My birthdays usually turn into world-ending disasters, so a quiet night in sounds just like what I need." Rose could tell Buffy was trying to put on a brave face. "Xander, do you mind sticking with Rose? Giles wanted to see me before classes."
And just like that, Buffy disappeared into the crowd, leaving Rose and Xander standing in awkward silence.
"So…" Rose began.
"So, first day back, huh?" Xander said as they started walking toward the school.
"Yeah. I still don't think I'm ready to face the world, but here I am," Rose whispered.
"Face the world, or face a certain librarian?" Xander asked with a raised eyebrow.
"That obvious, huh?"
Xander gave a shrug. "I mean, you did, you know, with the guy. If it makes you feel any better, I almost slept with a teacher once… She turned out to be a giant praying mantis."
Rose stopped in her tracks and stared at him. "What?"
"If there's one thing I've learned in Sunnydale, it's that we're all pretty good at pretending we remember nothing, so there aren't any judgements from us," Xander said, his smile lifting Rose's spirits just a little. "Besides, with all the almost-apocalypses we have, something even more embarrassing is bound to come along."
"Thanks, Xander. You're a giant help," Rose said, rolling her eyes, though the tension of being back at school broke slightly.
"It's what I'm here for."
Thankfully, the good mood stuck with Rose until lunch, when she watched Buffy get knocked down by a jock and saved by Cordelia.
"Buffy!" Rose shouted, rushing to help the blonde to her feet as Willow and Xander hurried over.
"We're talking to Giles now," Buffy ground out, dusting herself off.
So now Rose found herself in the one place she did not want to be sitting as far from Giles as possible as she listened to Buffy recount what happened. She had yet to look at the man since entering the library, quickly grabbing a book and retreating to the far stairs leading up to the shelves, where she pretended to immerse herself in its pages.
There were two things Rose gathered from the conversation: Buffy felt insecure about who she would be if she weren't the Slayer, and Giles was hiding something. His tone was off—the way he spoke to her was different. And for a brief moment, the familiar tingle she normally felt near him sparked back to life, making her clench and unclench her fists to shake it off. Her eyes dared to glance at him, relieved to find he was focused on Buffy.
He looked tired. Defeated. Sad.
The sight made her heart lurch painfully, every fiber of her being wanting to go to him, but she kept herself firmly planted on the stairs, watching him. Then, as if sensing her gaze, Giles looked at her.
Her body erupted in a wave of heat, and the butterflies in her stomach took flight as they stared across the room at each other. It felt like hours, though only seconds passed, before he finally looked away.
Giles hadn't looked at her like she was nothing—he had looked at her like he was scared, like he was a man on the stand, about to be judged.
"Allow me some time," Giles said. "I may know someone who can help."
After Giles had left, the gang worked quietly, flipping through a seemingly endless selection of books, hoping to find some answer for Buffy's sudden loss of powers. But the hours passed without any breakthroughs and Rose could not shake the gnawing suspicion that their efforts were futile, that whatever was happening wasn't something they'd find in any of these dusty pages. Deep down, she was certain Giles already knew the truth. The way he'd left them, as if fleeing from the weight of it, only reinforced her feeling.
Finally, Giles returned, pushing through the library doors, but he looked worse than before—more hollow, if that was possible. The faint hope in Buffy's eyes ignited as she jumped up to meet him.
"Giles, did you find anything?" Buffy asked, her voice laced with worry.
He glanced away. "Uh, no. Not yet," he replied, sounding almost… ashamed.
Lies, her mind whispered sharply. Rose's chest tightened as his eyes flickered her way, catching hers for only a moment, and in that brief look, she saw the drowning pool of grief in his eyes. The sorrow radiated from him, sinking into her, and she knew he was carrying something far heavier than he'd let on.
"Perhaps you should all be getting home before it gets dark," he said, his tone quiet but firm, and it felt like a dismissal tinged with guilt.
The others murmured in reluctant agreement, shutting their books and gathering their things. As they made their way to the door, Rose suddenly stopped, her heart hammering with a determination she had not quite expected. "Can you guys give me a minute? I'll be right back," she said, her voice steady.
Xander held the door open as the others left, casting her a curious look before he released it, leaving her alone with Giles.
Giles stood with his back to her, glasses dangling loosely from his fingertips, his other hand running through his hair. Rose could see the weight of whatever he was holding, pressing down on him, and her heart beat faster—not just from the nerves of confronting him, but from the unspoken tension that had simmered between them.
"Mr. Giles," she spoke softly, her voice breaking the silence.
He stiffened at the sound of her voice, his shoulders tensing before he turned to face her. "Ms. Murphy?" he replied, his voice guarded.
Rose opened her mouth, then hesitated, her hastily prepared words slipping away. She took a slow breath, trying to find the right way to convey what she wanted—her faith in him, her understanding of his struggle. "Whatever is happening with Buffy," she began, her voice barely above a whisper, "I think you already know what it is."
Giles looked as though he was about to say something, but she raised a hand to stop him. "Whatever it is, that you aren't telling Buffy. I'm sure you have your reasons, but you need to know that she trusts you. We all do." She swallowed, feeling a rush of vulnerability, even as the words felt right. "If you're honest with her, she'll forgive you for whatever it is you are hiding, Rupert. You just need to trust her as much as she trusts you."
His gaze softened, and for a moment, she saw past the walls he kept so firmly in place. His eyes held a glimmer of desperation, of sorrow, as though her words had reached something deep inside him. "Sometimes… it isn't that easy, Rose," he said, his voice barely a breath.
Rose sensed that he wasn't just talking about Buffy—that there were shadows haunting him, unresolved fears he couldn't face. She took a step forward, a new steadiness in her voice. "But it is that easy, Rupert. We are all care about you, and Buffy. Whatever it is, we will help you, help both of you. You just need to have the courage to tell us what is going on."
Their eyes held for a long moment, and the air between them seemed to pulse with words unsaid, truths they couldn't voice. Finally, she took a step back, the weight of the moment heavy in her chest as she turned and pushed open the door.
If she'd lingered just a second longer, she might have heard the low, bitter voice from the shadows, serious and cold.
"Wise words from someone so young," it spoke.
"You leave her out of this," came Giles's sharp reply, brimming with an anger that was both protective and pained.
"Unfortunately," the voice continued, tauntingly smooth, "your relations with the witch and her coven's needs must also be addressed…"