A/N: What happened to Jane? Lets find out.

Chapter 11

Maura's plane had landed at Logan International two hours ago. After going through customs, picking up her luggage and getting a cab, she was now standing in front of her Beacon Hill home.

It had been a little over six months since she had last sat foot inside the house. She took a deep breath, forced herself to move forward, and unlocked the front door.

When she stepped inside she was momentarily frozen in place, overwhelmed. Several memories instantly flooded her consciousness. Long hours snuggled up on the couch with Jane. Lazy mornings eating breakfast together in the kitchen. Having dinner with the whole family on Sunday nights. She could almost see and hear the sound of the Rizzoli siblings shouting at the TV when the Red Sox were playing.

Maura blinked a few times, trying to clear her head. She wondered if she would ever be able to get any of those things back.

After traveling for long hours, she was tired. All she wanted to do, was take a shower, and go to bed, so she could sleep.

Maybe tomorrow, in the daylight, things wouldn't feel so bleak.

The next morning the doctor spent cleaning and organizing her house. Even though a cleaning service had come by before she came home, she preferred to lightly redo it herself. If nothing else it kept her mind from wandering too much.

She was supposed to go into BPD today to meet with Lt. Cavanaugh and get up to speed about everything pertaining to her department.

Her appointment was at 2 p.m., and she was considerably nervous.

Maura really didn't know what to expect. Would she see any of her old co workers? Would she run into Korsak, Frankie, or Angela? Would she get to see Jane today?

It was a few minutes before 2 p.m. and Maura parked her car in front of the station. She got out and straightened some imaginary wrinkles on her blue dress, before walking up the steps to BPD.

When she got inside, the first thing she noticed was that the security guard was someone she hadn't seen before.

"Dr. Maura Isles to see Lt. Cavanaugh," she introduced herself, while showing her I.D.

The officer checked the guest list and nodded at her, letting her through. She passed through the metal detectors and was now standing in the very busy lobby of BPD.

There were a few faces she recognized, but none of them were paying her any attention.

Maura stepped up to the elevator and pushed the up button, shifting a little from foot to foot while waiting for the car to arrive. She glanced over her shoulder towards the division one cafe, but she didn't see anyone she knew. She wondered briefly if Angela still worked there.

The doctor was still turned away, lost in thought, not paying attention, when the doors in front of her dinged open. Maura automatically took a step forward to get on the elevator, when she almost got knocked over by a firm body trying to get off.

Two warm hands grabbed her by the shoulders, steadying her before she could fall backwards.

"I'm sorry. Are you okay?" She heard from an all too familiar voice in front of her, "you really should watch before you walk you know."

Maura's heart dropped into her stomach at hearing that deep voice; it was smooth, like fine whiskey. Her eyes shot up and landed on the face of the woman she still loved more than anything. Jane was standing right in front of her. She slowly removed her hands from Maura's shoulders and put them in her pockets. She was dressed in black slacks and a green t-shirt, her hair loose and wild around her face.

The doctor was holding her breath, waiting for Jane's reaction; shock, possibly anger. But all she got was two dark brown eyes, staring at her, friendly, but puzzled, and slightly impatient.

Maura was starting to feel dizzy.

The detective raised an eyebrow, seeing the woman in front of her growing more and more pale, "oh, easy there. Take a deep breath."

Maura inhaled sharply.

"That's it." Jane coaxed gently, "just keep breathing. You'll need the oxygen and all," she smiled.

"I…," Maura felt like she was dreaming, like she was experiencing a nightmare while fully awake.

The detective raised an eyebrow, her expression turning even more confused.

"I...," Maura tried again. She wanted to say something, but her brain was stuttering, unable to form a coherent sentence. She looked like a fish out of water; eyes wide, her mouth a little open.

Jane looked at the clock on the other side of the lobby, 'crap' she thought, she was going to be so late.

The detective frowned, she was still very concerned with this honey blonde woman's strange behavior. She didn't really look crazy though, and Jane wondered if she was maybe having some sort of panic attack.

"Who are you here to see?" Jane asked, trying to get more information. She didn't want to leave this distressed woman standing by herself in the middle of BPD, but she also knew her new partner was waiting for her outside.

She motioned to one of the officers, to come and take care of her, "I'm sorry to leave you like this, but I have to go. This officer will take care of you now, okay?"

Knowing the woman was now taken care of, Jane quickly turned around and with long strides made her way to the exit of the precinct. However just before she stepped through the station doors, she paused. She glanced back over her shoulder at the blonde that still hadn't moved from her position. Something was pulling at the back of her mind, like it did so very rarely. But then she shrugged her shoulders, knowing there was a case to be solved.

Maura was still standing in the same spot in front of the elevator, unable to move. There was an officer standing next to her, trying to get her attention, but she was unable to respond. She was having the greatest difficulty trying to catch her breath, her mind was going a mile a minute. Jane didn't know who she was? How was that possible?

She could feel herself starting to hyperventilate, the dizziness increased, but she was unable to stop it. She put her hand on the wall in front of her for support, trying to hold herself up.

"Maura?" said someone behind her, another very familiar voice. The doctor tried to turn around to face the owner of that voice, but at that point everything went black. And it was only by the quick reaction of the officer and this other person that she didn't hit her head on the ground.

"What happened, you were right behind me." Riley said impatiently.

"Just a little hold up in the lobby," the detective replied, sliding into the driver's side of the car.

"Oh-kay?" Riley already had a smile back on her face.

"I bumped into someone when I got off the elevator." Jane scratched her head, thinking about the strange encounter.

"Anyone you know?" Riley asked.

"I... don't think so," Jane replied, starting the car. The odd feeling she'd had before was still pulling at the back of her mind.

The black haired detective pulled out her phone to get the address they needed, "you don't think so? What does that mean, did she look familiar to you?"

Jane shrugged her shoulders and laughed a little sarcastically, "does anyone?"

"No, I guess not." Riley started to enter the address in the car's GPS system. "But that could still change right? You can still start to remember stuff."

The detective looked at her new partner, they had been paired together fairly recently. Riley was still somewhat new to the homicide squad, but in a way, so was Jane.

The brunette had been on the force for many years. The only problem was, she had no recollection of any of it, or anything else for that matter. Not since the accident. Her first memory was waking up in the hospital, with her head feeling like it would explode. There had been several people in the room, staring at her. A nurse, a doctor, a middle aged woman, and two younger men. Family, she had later found out, her mother and her brothers. She didn't even remember her own name. Which had been odd, to say the least.

She vividly remembers when she was first introduced to the Rizzoli clan.

After finding out that the older woman in the room was her mother, she directed her attention to the two men in the room.

"Are you my boyfriend?" she asked, looking at Frankie.

"For fucks sake, Jane. No!" the younger Rizzoli looked completely mortified, "I'm your brother. Eww."

"Sorry. You then?" she asked Tommy, who frantically shook his head, "no, no, no. Brother.

Both Rizzoli brothers looked entirely grossed out by their sisters question.

"Oh, thank god." Jane said, "no offense."

It wasn't like their was nothing in her head at all. There was information there, just nothing that pertained to herself. She remembered things like what the speed limit on the interstate highway is. And that under chapter 26 section 118 of the Massachusetts general law, one could be fined up to ten dollars for letting a sheep graze on someone else's land. She had a head full of mostly 'useless' facts, but no personal memories whatsoever.

It had been weird finding out things about herself, and it had quickly become overwhelming. So one day while she was still in the hospital, she had enough and she had put a stop to it. It was the day after she had noticed the scars on her hands, and she asked what they were from.

When they had started telling her that a serial killer had captured her and what he had done to her, she had stopped them. Why on earth would she want to know that?

So Jane had told anyone that came to visit her, including her family, that she didn't want to hear anymore. She didn't want to hear memories of a life she couldn't remember. She wanted to go into everything fresh. They could introduce themselves and go from there. It gave her a chance to get to know the people on her own terms, and in turn it gave those people the chance to get to know Jane as well, since she wasn't really the same person anymore either. It was a deliberate decision she'd made. If she had any questions about her life before the accident, she would find out herself or ask if she wanted to. After some initial trial and error, the process started to work.

Jane did want to know the basics of course. Like her name, date of birth, significant other, place of residence, things like that.

Her mother had told her she had a small apartment downtown Boston, she was single to her disappointment, but she had a dog; Jo Friday. She had thought it was an odd name, and she wondered where it came from, but who knew.

After she had been released from the hospital she had stayed with Angela for a while, until she was fully recovered. Besides the injury to her head, the rest of her body wasn't in too bad of a shape. Broken ribs, cuts and bruises, were about the extent of it.

She was thankful for Angela's care, but the woman was quickly driving her crazy. So as soon as Jane had been physically able, she had moved back into her small apartment in downtown Boston.

Of course finding out she had her own place, led her to another question. How did she pay for it? What did she do for a living? Jane had actually been thrilled when she found out she was a decorated homicide detective. It was one of the few things since the accident, that felt like it fit. So she wanted to try and pursue it again.

It had been difficult to get reinstated for active duty. Physically she was fine, but they were worried about her mental well being, her ability to do her job.

She still remembered the facts of the job though, criminal codes, procedures, how to clean and fire a gun. But she had lost the information on the cases she had worked on before.

After countless hours of counseling, testing, shooting at the gun range, studying, going over procedures again, and finally the retaking of the detective's exam, she was accepted back; albeit on probation. Everyone knew Jane was a natural cop, but until they were confident she could properly do her job, they were keeping a very close eye on her.

In her first week back on the job, she found the vital piece of information to solve a double homicide. It was interesting how her muscles and instinct remembered what her brain couldn't. Her first solved case since she came back, had been two months ago.

Impressed with her work, and confident in her abilities, she had been officially partnered up with Detective Riley Cooper.

They were now on their way to pick up a suspect in their latest case.

"Uh...what were you saying?" Jane finally responded, already forgotten what the question had been.

"Boy, you are distracted today," Riley laughed, "I asked if there was still a chance you would start to remember things again."

The brunette shook her head, "not really. I mean I guess there is, but after six months it would be a miracle for me to remember anything at all."

"And you're okay with that?" Riley asked, confused at the light tone of her partner.

Jane sighed deeply, not really wanting to explain this yet again, "the way I see it, I have two options. I accept it, and make new memories. Or I get stuck in a past I will probably never get back."

"You're not sad about it? You're not worried about what you're missing?" Riley dared to ask one more question, taking advantage of the rare opportunity that Jane Rizzoli talked about herself and her feelings.

"You can't be sad or miss what you don't remember, Cooper." Jane frowned, done with this line of questioning. She had made her peace with her situation, no point in rehashing things constantly. "We're here, are you ready?"

Riley nodded, knowing that the time for small talk was over, and the time for action was here.

A/N2: Finally the title of my story is coming into play. ;)

Thanks for sticking with me. Reviews, favorites, alerts. etc. Very much appreciate it all.

I know there are questions. Why didn't anyone call Maura for example. Why is Jane hiding from her past? Things will be answered over the next few chapters.

Review if you want to.